How to Get From Here to There: A Framework for Creating the Life You Want | The Mel Robbins Podcast
Mel Robbins (host), Amy (Mel’s friend/co-host for this episode) (guest), Kendall Robbins (guest), Narrator
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Amy (Mel’s friend/co-host for this episode), How to Get From Here to There: A Framework for Creating the Life You Want | The Mel Robbins Podcast explores turn Inspiration Into Action: Mel Robbins’ Three-Step North Star Framework Mel Robbins explores how to deliberately design your life using a simple sentence—"I can do it"—and a three-part creative framework built around a personal North Star. She breaks down "I" (responsibility), "can" (belief), "do" (action), and "it" (your clear goal), arguing most people get stuck by missing one of these. With her daughter Kendall and producer Amy, she introduces the emulation–assimilation–innovation process: study someone you admire, practice their traits and skills, then transform them into your own unique expression. The conversation reframes growth not as closing a painful gap, but as ongoing creative expansion where you yourself are ultimately the artwork.
Turn Inspiration Into Action: Mel Robbins’ Three-Step North Star Framework
Mel Robbins explores how to deliberately design your life using a simple sentence—"I can do it"—and a three-part creative framework built around a personal North Star. She breaks down "I" (responsibility), "can" (belief), "do" (action), and "it" (your clear goal), arguing most people get stuck by missing one of these. With her daughter Kendall and producer Amy, she introduces the emulation–assimilation–innovation process: study someone you admire, practice their traits and skills, then transform them into your own unique expression. The conversation reframes growth not as closing a painful gap, but as ongoing creative expansion where you yourself are ultimately the artwork.
Key Takeaways
Own full responsibility for your next chapter.
The ‘I’ in “I can do it” means no one is coming to save you; when you accept that your time, choices, and actions are your responsibility, you naturally start steering your life more intentionally.
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Choose a clear North Star—person, future self, or specific trait.
A North Star can be a celebrity, a stranger, or an imagined future version of you, and it doesn’t have to be their whole life—often a single trait (kindness, discipline, business acumen, fitness) is enough to guide your direction.
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Systematically study what you admire: emulation comes first.
In the emulation phase, you research and break your North Star down into concrete components—skills, character traits, and career choices—so you can see exactly what they do that you don’t (yet).
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Practice until it’s in your bones: assimilation is the long middle.
Assimilation is the 10,000-hour montage: you weave the traits and skills you’ve identified into your daily life through repetition, practice, and experimentation until they become part of how you naturally operate.
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Innovate by putting your own twist on what you’ve learned.
Once you’ve absorbed the building blocks, you create your own work, behaviors, or life systems; your output will inherently carry your unique “flavor,” meaning the goal is not to become your North Star but to evolve into a fuller version of yourself.
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Stop thinking in terms of ‘gaps’; think in terms of gains and expansion.
Viewing the distance between you and your ideal as a ‘gap’ implies lack and failure, while seeing it as a path of skills, experiences, and traits to gain makes the process feel abundant, motivating, and ongoing rather than a pass/fail destination.
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This creative framework applies to any goal, not just artistic careers.
Whether you want better finances, a healthier body, or deeper relationships, you can use the same three pillars—emulate those who have what you want, assimilate their habits and mindsets, then innovate to fit your own life and circumstances.
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Notable Quotes
“If you don’t have an ‘it,’ you don’t have shit.”
— Mel Robbins
“You can create it from nothing… you are the art.”
— Kendall Robbins
“It’s not about becoming the North Star. You are the North Star.”
— Kendall Robbins
“Don’t think about it as a gap. It’s the road you get to travel.”
— Amy (producer at 143 Studios)
“Yes, this process works. But you’ve gotta trust that if you stay in the process and you stay present and you stay grateful, it’s gonna lead you to where you need to go.”
— Kendall Robbins
Questions Answered in This Episode
How do I choose a North Star if I feel completely uninspired or unsure what I want?
Mel Robbins explores how to deliberately design your life using a simple sentence—"I can do it"—and a three-part creative framework built around a personal North Star. ...
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In practical terms, what would ‘emulation’ look like for someone trying to fix their finances or health rather than build a creative career?
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How can I tell whether I’m in the assimilation phase versus just passively consuming inspiration without changing?
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What strategies help you stay patient and motivated during the long, unglamorous assimilation period when results are slow?
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How do you balance imitating someone you admire with avoiding comparison, envy, or feeling like an imposter?
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Transcript Preview
(ticking clock) (upbeat music) You asked me kind of, what's an example of a North Star for me, and that's The Rock. It seems like anything he's interested in, he's like, whoop, pivot, energy drink. Whoop, pivot, we're doing shoes. I love that about him.
You're fired up, like-
Oh.
I- I think this is a good example of like North Stardom.
I wanna commence that.
Yes, this process works, but you've gotta trust that even if The Rock is your North Star, if it pulls you in a completely different direction, you've just gotta trust that if you stay in the process and you stay present and you stay grateful, it's gonna lead you to where you need to go. (upbeat music)
Hey, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Oh, I didn't even tell you who I am. It's Mel Robbins, your friend. And welcome. Let's do this thing. (laughs) I'm all spun around. I'm sorry. I have had one hell of a weekend. I was in Tampa on Friday, and I was giving the opening keynote at an event that my publisher, HayHouse, was putting on. First event that they've put on in three years. The theme was, "I Can Do It," and when they told me that my keynote was gonna begin at around 8:00, my first thought was, "I can't do that." I am in bed by 9:00 PM. I'm basically a great-grandmother at this point when it comes to how tired I get at the end of the day, but I rallied, and so I got on that stage, and I delivered a really great talk about this sentence, "I can do it," and I wanna share with you, 'cause I think it was kinda genius, I did this on the plane on the way down, of course, because I am the queen of cramming. I wanna break down this simple sentence, "I can do it." So, the reason why this is such a powerful sentence is because every single word has a very important meaning for you. "I" refers to the fact that you're personally responsible for your life. No one's coming. It's up to you, and as soon as you embrace this very scary notion that, "I am responsible for what happens next in my life," you will start taking responsibility for how you spend your time and what you do and the goals that you have, and so that's really important, "I can." "Can" is all about belief. "I can." "I can" means you believe that you can do it, and so take responsibility, believe in yourself, do. I'm the queen of do. Not doodoo, but do, and "do" means you gotta do something. It's not enough to believe. It's not enough to say you're responsible. At some point, you gotta put your money where your mouth is, and you gotta put your ass on the line. And you gotta take action. And now, the last word, "it." "I can do it." What is "it"? If you don't have an "it," you don't have shit. Not that poetic, but it's true. The "it" represents your North Star, and what I've found over the years is that almost everyone who gets stuck or feels lost or is just wanting to make a change, they're missing one of these four things. Either you're not taking responsibility for your life, or you don't believe in yourself, or you're not taking action, or you have no North Star, or all four of them in some cases, and today, I wanna talk to you about the importance of a North Star. What is it? What is a North Star in your life? And I'm gonna give you a couple examples of two North Stars that I have, one that has been a North Star forever, namely, it's The Rock. I'm just gonna come right out and tell you. It's, it's, it's The Rock. The Rock is a North Star for me, and I'll explain more as we jump into this. And the other North Star? It is a woman I just met, literally just met. Hi, Michelle. I'd never met her before in my entire life, and she came walking up to me in the lobby, and she was in the audience. She shared a story about how she is a major fan of this podcast and that she just completed a fricking, is it an Ironman? A marathon? Something insane that I am not, at least right now, in shape to do, and that she listened to the podcast as a way to, to keep her going for the race and for her training, and when I tell you, Michelle immediately became my North Star, as a woman in her late 50s, taking names, kicking ass, biceps like completely grilled, taut, juicy Italian sausage links. Not like these flabby sockers that I've got that look like fricking meat wings, and she had beautiful... Like, she just was so ripped and vibrant, and I'm standing there trying to squeeze my butt cheeks together so that they don't hang like flabby pancakes on the back of my pants. North Star, Michelle, thank you, thank you, thank you, and that's the cool thing about North Stars. You don't have to know the person. They don't have to be famous, and you don't have to have every aspect of their life be something that is your North Star. It could be just one thing that they do or one aspect of their business, but there's so much power when you create a North Star for some area of your life, and you allow another person to be a beacon of inspiration and hope, and we're gonna unpack how you do that today, and to help me do that, I have invited Amy, who is a dear friend of mine. She is also one of the senior producers at 143 Studios. She's been on the podcast before. We know and love Amy.
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