How to Create a New Version of Yourself: Let Go of Past Mistakes & Regret with Sarah Jakes Roberts
Mel Robbins (host), Sarah Jakes Roberts (guest), Narrator
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Sarah Jakes Roberts, How to Create a New Version of Yourself: Let Go of Past Mistakes & Regret with Sarah Jakes Roberts explores transform Regret Into Power: Open Your Inner Cupboard Of Self Mel Robbins interviews Sarah Jakes Roberts about how to release shame, regret, and past mistakes in order to create a new, more powerful version of yourself.
Transform Regret Into Power: Open Your Inner Cupboard Of Self
Mel Robbins interviews Sarah Jakes Roberts about how to release shame, regret, and past mistakes in order to create a new, more powerful version of yourself.
Sarah shares her journey from becoming a pregnant teen in a high-profile church family to finding faith, self-compassion, and purpose by fully owning every part of her story.
They unpack practical frameworks like “opening the cupboard,” seeing your life as a full movie instead of one cringeworthy scene, and allowing your dreams to “live outside of you” through words and action.
The conversation reframes power and confidence as flows of authenticity, humility, and resilience—and challenges listeners to stop self-punishment, claim their worth, and start making small, daring moves toward who they want to become.
Key Takeaways
You cannot heal while you are still punishing yourself.
Repeating harsh self-talk and replaying your worst moments keeps you stuck in them; intentional self-compassion is required to turn sitting with yourself into a healing practice instead of a daily sentencing.
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Open your “cupboard” and use every ingredient of your life.
Instead of hiding your past (shame, mistakes, trauma, quirks) or trying to reinvent yourself with imaginary ingredients, accept what’s actually in your cupboard and build an authentic life using all of it.
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View your life as a full movie, not a single cringey scene.
Regret softens when you look at the plot line—what you had, what you lacked, and how hurt or lonely you were—rather than judging yourself only by one frozen moment; given your circumstances, you likely did the best you could.
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Let who you’re becoming live outside of you through words.
Speaking your evolving desires and identity out loud—to yourself and others—creates space in your inner world and your environment for that version of you to take shape, instead of keeping your dreams trapped inside.
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Recognize that your existence is necessary and stop discounting yourself.
Most people underestimate their impact and “put themselves on discount,” taking their healing and thoughts lightly; seeing your breath and presence as high-value changes how you speak, think, show up, and influence your corner of the world.
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Power is a flow of authenticity, resilience, and humility—not just toughness.
True power comes from being real about who you are, getting back up after pain, and owning your flaws and limits; it’s a moving energy that can express differently in each season but is always available to you.
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Rest and changing old precedents are essential to staying grounded.
Resentment and irritability often signal exhaustion and outdated expectations you set for others; pausing to rest and then clearly updating those expectations helps you reclaim your power instead of feeling hostage to your old patterns.
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Notable Quotes
“Most people underestimate how necessary their existence is in the world.”
— Sarah Jakes Roberts
“You can't want to heal and punish yourself at the same time.”
— Sarah Jakes Roberts
“I’m not trying to disconnect from who I was. I’m trying to bring all of who I am into the fullness of where I am.”
— Sarah Jakes Roberts
“You have to open your mouth and let it live outside of you.”
— Mel Robbins (reflecting and amplifying Sarah Jakes Roberts’ idea)
“Power is authenticity, resiliency, humility combined.”
— Sarah Jakes Roberts
Questions Answered in This Episode
What parts of my own “cupboard” have I been too afraid or ashamed to open, and what might change if I examined them with compassion instead of judgment?
Mel Robbins interviews Sarah Jakes Roberts about how to release shame, regret, and past mistakes in order to create a new, more powerful version of yourself.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
In which specific ways am I still punishing myself for past choices, and what would it look like to intentionally replace that punishment with empathy?
Sarah shares her journey from becoming a pregnant teen in a high-profile church family to finding faith, self-compassion, and purpose by fully owning every part of her story.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
If I viewed my life as a full movie rather than one painful scene, how would my understanding of my past decisions and patterns shift?
They unpack practical frameworks like “opening the cupboard,” seeing your life as a full movie instead of one cringeworthy scene, and allowing your dreams to “live outside of you” through words and action.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
What is one sentence I can start saying out loud that lets who I’m becoming live outside of me and creates space for that version to grow?
The conversation reframes power and confidence as flows of authenticity, humility, and resilience—and challenges listeners to stop self-punishment, claim their worth, and start making small, daring moves toward who they want to become.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
Where in my life do I feel resentful or overextended, and what precedent or expectation do I need to rest, renegotiate, or retire to reclaim my power?
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
Transcript Preview
I feel this energy.
Mm.
(instrumental music plays) And this truth that comes through you. Like, it just gets me so choked up to be in the presence of somebody that has such a gift.
Mm.
I'm curious to hear your thoughts on what you believe most of us need to hear and be reminded of.
Most people underestimate how necessary their existence is in the world and as a result, assume a posture of resignation that leaves the world less than what it could be.
Mm.
Our lives are not random. They are not coincidences. We were all given these lives to make the world better and I feel like most people underestimate how necessary they are and as a result, they don't take their healing seriously, they don't take their thought seriously. But if we truly ever tapped into the high value of our breath, it would change what we speak, it would change what we think, it would change how we show up in the world, and it would quite literally make the world a better place.
Oh. Sarah Jakes Roberts just gave you a gift. (clock ticking) (instrumental music plays) Hey, it's your friend Mel. There are gonna be times in your life when you wake up and wonder, "Have I messed it all up?" Periods in your life, you know, that just suck, where you've made a major mistake, you feel a lot of regret. Maybe you're still there mentally right now or maybe someone that you love is going through a really low period in their life. When you're struggling, it begs the question, can you really overcome any failure or any pain or regret or mistake that you've made in your life? And if I were to tell you that there's absolutely no mistake that will keep you from becoming who you're truly meant to be, would you actually believe me? Well, after today, you will because you're about to meet a remarkably inspiring person who has been knocked down over and over and over again and she knows the secret to getting back up, to finding your power even when you feel powerless. When you were little, you once thought anything was possible. This episode today will remind you it still is because there is nothing that you've done that will stand in the way of who you want to become. So if you're tired of regrets holding you back and if you're sick of beating yourself up over the mistakes that you've made, today you're gonna learn how to pick yourself back up and take that big old pile of leftovers from life and turn it into a five-star meal. You know, I always say no one's coming, but today someone special is here, the one and only Sarah Jakes Roberts. I am so excited to get to spend some time with you.
Thank you. I'm looking forward to it.
So, I would love to have you start by talking directly to the person who's listening and share with them what they can expect to experience and learn from you today. Like, how might their life change if they take everything that you're about to share to heart?
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