If You Got Your Heart Broken, You Need To Hear This! | The Mel Robbins Podcast
Mel Robbins (host), Katrina (guest)
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Katrina, If You Got Your Heart Broken, You Need To Hear This! | The Mel Robbins Podcast explores mel Robbins Coaches Heartbroken Listener To Choose Growth Over Regret Mel Robbins coaches Katrina, a newly graduated lawyer navigating a painful breakup and a major life decision: whether to leave her home state and start over. The conversation centers on distinguishing the *right* decision from the fear of making it, and separating how you feel about someone from how they actually make you feel. Mel helps Katrina reframe her breakup, reclaim her self-worth, and design a confident “plan B” for inevitably bumping into her ex. The episode concludes with ten distilled life takeaways about closure, intuition, regret, and courageously moving toward a bigger life.
Mel Robbins Coaches Heartbroken Listener To Choose Growth Over Regret
Mel Robbins coaches Katrina, a newly graduated lawyer navigating a painful breakup and a major life decision: whether to leave her home state and start over. The conversation centers on distinguishing the *right* decision from the fear of making it, and separating how you feel about someone from how they actually make you feel. Mel helps Katrina reframe her breakup, reclaim her self-worth, and design a confident “plan B” for inevitably bumping into her ex. The episode concludes with ten distilled life takeaways about closure, intuition, regret, and courageously moving toward a bigger life.
Key Takeaways
Make decisions by moving toward something powerful, not just away from pain.
You feel more empowered and in control when you frame big changes as running toward growth and possibility instead of merely escaping discomfort or a person who hurt you.
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Closure requires letting go of the ‘door handle’—including hidden hopes.
As long as you secretly hold on to the possibility of getting someone back or rewriting the past, you haven’t fully closed that chapter or freed yourself to build a new one.
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Stop blaming others for the small life you choose to live.
If you hold yourself back because of guilt about parents, friends, or partners, you must own that as *your* decision instead of using them as an excuse; have the honest conversation and ask for their support.
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If someone doesn’t want you, you should not want them.
Clinging to people who reject you is often an attempt to repair old wounds or prove your worth; instead, take their behavior as data, assert that you deserve better, and redirect your energy to yourself.
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Your intuition saw the signs—owning that strengthens, not weakens, you.
Looking back critically at the red flags you ignored (cheating, emotional distance, disrespect) validates your intuition and helps you trust and act on it faster in the future.
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Use your body’s expansion or contraction as a decision-making tool.
Close your eyes and feel each option in your body: the path that feels expansive, open, and growth-oriented is typically aligned with your truth, while a shrinking, heavy feeling signals a ‘no’ despite fear or familiarity.
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Rehearse how you’ll handle hard encounters so they don’t control you.
AB planning—deciding in advance what you’ll say and how you’ll act if you bump into someone painful—reduces anxiety, prevents you from freezing, and lets you respond with honesty and power instead of reactivity.
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Notable Quotes
“How you feel about someone is very different than how they make you feel.”
— Mel Robbins
“If someone doesn’t want you anymore, you shouldn’t want them.”
— Mel Robbins
“When it’s not love, it’s a lesson.”
— Mel Robbins
“Living with regret is the worst thing in the world.”
— Mel Robbins
“You must know the difference between what the right decision is in your heart versus your fear of making that decision.”
— Mel Robbins
Questions Answered in This Episode
How can I better distinguish between genuine intuition and fear when I’m facing a major life decision?
Mel Robbins coaches Katrina, a newly graduated lawyer navigating a painful breakup and a major life decision: whether to leave her home state and start over. ...
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In what ways might I still be ‘holding the door handle’ on past relationships or chapters I say I’ve closed?
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Where am I using guilt about family or others as an excuse to avoid pursuing what I really want?
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If I rewrote the story of my past breakup(s) as lessons instead of failures, what exactly did each one teach me about my standards and self-worth?
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What would my next bold move be if I committed to making decisions based on what feels expansive—even if it scares me?
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Transcript Preview
(ticking sound) Pull up a seat and listen in as I give some advice and coaching to a woman named Katrina, who wrote in because in the wake of a breakup, she has a very big decision to make. Isn't it true, the decision that you know is right, the one that deep down in your heart you know is the best and truest decision for you, it's also the one that scares the hell out of you? This coaching session is going to give me the opportunity to teach you two just critical truths about life. Number one... (instrumental music plays) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast. Okay, I'm really looking forward to the conversation today. If you're brand new to The Mel Robbins Podcast, I'm Mel Robbins. I'm a New York Times best-selling author, I am also one of the world's leading experts on habits and motivation and behavior change. And I invite you today to pull up a seat and listen in as I give some advice and coaching to a woman named Katrina, who wrote in because in the wake of a breakup, she has a very big decision to make. You're gonna love her, by the way. She's smart and she is a go-getter, but she's really stuck right now. She's got a big decision to make, and she feels overwhelmed by the decision. And this coaching session is going to give me the opportunity to teach you two just critical truths about life. So the two critical truths that you have to accept about life is, number one, you have to know the difference between the right decision and being afraid of the right decision. And the second truth about life is that how you feel about somebody is very different than how they make you feel. And how they make you feel is where you have to put all the weight when you're making really hard decisions. And by the very end of this coaching session with Katrina, you are going to learn an absolutely incredible tool. This is a tool that will help you make courageous decisions. Because isn't it true that so often, the decision that you know is right, the one that deep down in your heart you know is the best and truest decision for you, it's also the one that scares the hell out of you? All right. Do we have Katrina here? Oh, great. Hi, Katrina.
Hi, Mel. How are you doing?
Hi. I'm good. Why don't you go ahead and start by reading, uh, I think they're gonna have you read your question and then we can kind of talk through it.
Yes, absolutely. All right. Hi, Mel. My name is Katrina. Thank you for all your podcasts. They have saved me in the past year. Let me explain. In July 2022, just days before my 25th birthday and last year of law school, my boyfriend of five years dumped me. To say that this was out of nowhere would be an understatement, but looking back, I am sure there were signs that the end was coming. My future crumbled right before my eyes. I was numb for the first three to four months. I've done a lot of work since then. I've fostered many relationships and started a bunch of new hobbies, each requiring patience and confidence, two skills I really needed to work on. I need your help on what to do next. The state I live in has been my home all my life, and as far as I know, it's where my ex still resides. I'm unsure if it's the breakup, the last year of law school ending, or the fact that I truly have nothing tying me down here anymore, but this place no longer feels warm to me. Most of my friends are engaged and beginning to start their lives in a chapter I can no longer relate to. I'm thinking of moving to a state that has everything I love. However, a part of me knows that if I leave, the chances of me getting back together with my ex becomes slimmer. A brilliant and well-experienced woman once said, "One decision can change the trajectory of your life forever." So I hope you can help me figure out what decision to make, or at least ways to make this grueling decision. Thanks, Mel.
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