“The Secret of a Happy Relationship…” the Best Advice That I Have Received

Dating culture today for so many people sucks, and it is hard to find love. It's the one area where we feel like we're out of control.

How do you change it? What's the biggest mistake that you think people make in relationships?

I think we can start to think we know everything there is to know about our partner, that there is nothing new going on in that head of theirs. We know it all. And we certainly don't know it all. We only know what they're telling us, and usually what they're telling us is a reflection of the kinds of questions we're asking them, and we might have stopped asking them questions 10 years ago 'cause we assume we know it all. You have to find ways to make life fresh to you so that you can stay fresh for your partner. Read, engage in a new activity or a new hobby or something that inspires you. Because we stop growing in our lives and because we stop doing things that keep life fresh for us, we now bring a very stagnant, staid version of ourselves to the relationship. We have nothing new to bring to the conversation at dinner, because when was the last time we got a brand-new idea or we read something or engaged with something that made us think differently?

That's good. (clock ticking) All right. I'm so glad you're here. It's Mel, and today's episode is for you. Whether you're single, dating, married, divorced, you got some situationship thing going on that you don't even know how to describe it, you're trying to figure things out as you're hooking up with people, you don't know where you stand, you're confused, you're feeling used, you're somewhere in between, today, you and I are gonna sort it all out. Now, I've been married to Chris for over 28 years, and we've got three adult kids who are all navigating the modern dating world. And having never had to experience online dating, when I thought, "Okay, I'm gonna answer relationship questions," I thought, "I better call in a heavy hitter to be my co-pilot in answering your questions today so that I can handle the continuum on one end and I got somebody that can handle the crazy world that is modern dating." And so let me tell you a little bit about my co-pilot today, Matthew Hussey. Matthew is a buddy of mine. He's also a New York Times bestselling author, and he's been helping people for more than 17 years to feel more confident and in control of their relationships. More than three million people turn to Matthew for relationship advice on his YouTube channel, which is completely dedicated to helping you create a better love life. And so Matthew and I are gonna tag-team your questions, and my team has sourced your most asked questions from your fellow listeners around the world. They have come to our inbox, our website, social media, and trust me, whether you are in a loving relationship right now or you have sworn off relationships altogether, there is something here for you. You are gonna relate to every single question, and you are gonna get something from every single answer, and so will everybody that you love, so make sure you share this with everyone 'cause they're gonna love it too. All righty, are you ready? I know I am. Let's go down to the Boston studios for this incredible conversation with me, you, and Matthew Hussey. Let's do this. I think what I wanna do, because you've been advising people on how they can get into successful long-term relationships for 17 years, I wanna focus our conversation, I think, on what you've learned-