If You Struggle With Anxiety, You Need To Hear This | The Mel Robbins Podcast
Mel Robbins (host), Oakley Robbins (guest)
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Oakley Robbins, If You Struggle With Anxiety, You Need To Hear This | The Mel Robbins Podcast explores teen Son Shares Raw Journey Through Anxiety, Purpose, And Therapy Mel Robbins sits down with her 17-year-old son Oakley as he candidly unpacks his history with severe anxiety, suicidal ideation, and a life-changing therapy session. Oakley describes hidden panic episodes in 9th grade, a full-blown existential crisis in 10th grade triggered by climate change content and big questions about meaning, and how medication plus therapy helped him stabilize. Central to his recovery is reframing life’s meaning through personal purpose and a powerful metaphor from his therapist: each person lives in their own “universe” created at conception, and you choose what you allow to exist in it. The episode normalizes scary intrusive thoughts, urges young people to tell someone instead of suffering alone, and offers an accessible way to think about purpose, agency, and living an “extraordinary ordinary life.”
Teen Son Shares Raw Journey Through Anxiety, Purpose, And Therapy
Mel Robbins sits down with her 17-year-old son Oakley as he candidly unpacks his history with severe anxiety, suicidal ideation, and a life-changing therapy session. Oakley describes hidden panic episodes in 9th grade, a full-blown existential crisis in 10th grade triggered by climate change content and big questions about meaning, and how medication plus therapy helped him stabilize. Central to his recovery is reframing life’s meaning through personal purpose and a powerful metaphor from his therapist: each person lives in their own “universe” created at conception, and you choose what you allow to exist in it. The episode normalizes scary intrusive thoughts, urges young people to tell someone instead of suffering alone, and offers an accessible way to think about purpose, agency, and living an “extraordinary ordinary life.”
Key Takeaways
Tell someone when thoughts feel big, scary, or overwhelming.
Oakley emphasizes that keeping terrifying thoughts to yourself makes them grow; telling a parent, friend, teacher, or therapist lightens the load and is the first step toward relief and real help.
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Intrusive suicidal thoughts are more common and more ‘normal’ than people think.
Mel stresses that having a flash of “what if I hurt myself? ...
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You cannot and should not try to solve everything alone.
Oakley tried to “handle it” by himself for years and hid his anxiety from his parents; he now insists that friends your own age and your own mind are often not enough, and professional support can be life-changing.
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Medication plus therapy can act like a ladder out of the hole.
He describes antidepressants as a ‘ladder’ that helped him climb out of a terrifying mental state, while therapy gave him tools and frameworks to understand his thoughts; he openly affirms that both still help him.
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Purpose doesn’t erase existential questions, but it gives you a reason to stay.
Working with his therapist, Oakley reframed ‘life doesn’t matter’ into ‘I can make it matter’ by searching for personal purpose—something, someone, or somewhere that one day makes him say, ‘This is why I’m here.’
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View your life as your own universe and choose what belongs in it.
His therapist’s metaphor—your universe begins at conception, and every choice stays in it—helps Oakley ask before acting: ‘Do I want to live in a universe where I’ve done this? ...
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You don’t need all the answers about purpose right now.
At 17, Oakley is comfortable not knowing his exact purpose yet; instead of chasing a dramatic ‘big answer,’ he focuses on being present, enjoying what’s in front of him, and trusting that his purpose will emerge over time.
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Notable Quotes
“Therapy is almost like having a notebook, but you don’t have to write, and you actually get an answer back.”
— Oakley Robbins
“I didn’t want to get into it. I thought I could handle it. I’d done it 10,000 times before. But instead of waiting till you collapse, just tell someone.”
— Oakley Robbins
“There’s a big difference between wanting to end the pain you’re in and actually wanting to end your life.”
— Mel Robbins
“Life does not matter, but us as individuals can make it matter by using purpose and finding our purpose.”
— Oakley Robbins (paraphrasing work with his therapist Keith)
“Even if life and our existence on Earth does not matter, you are still living a life, and you should be living a life, in a universe that is your own, that you enjoy.”
— Oakley Robbins
Questions Answered in This Episode
How can parents create the kind of relationship where a teenager feels safe admitting they’re having suicidal or existential thoughts?
Mel Robbins sits down with her 17-year-old son Oakley as he candidly unpacks his history with severe anxiety, suicidal ideation, and a life-changing therapy session. ...
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If intrusive, scary thoughts are ‘normal,’ what specific signs indicate it’s time to seek urgent professional help?
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How might the ‘personal universe’ metaphor change the way you make moral choices or handle regret?
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What are some practical first steps for a young person who wants therapy but has had a bad experience in the past, like Oakley did?
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How can someone actively explore and experiment with purpose when they feel like ‘nothing matters’ but are willing to keep going?
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Transcript Preview
Welcome to-
... the Mel Robbins Podcast.
That is Oakley Robbins.
Hey, guys.
I wanted to talk to you because you came into the kitchen tonight and you were like, "Oh my God, I just had the best therapy session." And I thought, "How many 17-year-old guys walk into the kitchen and announce to their family that?"
I don't know.
(laughs)
I do not know.
Would you be willing to unpack it with me?
Yeah. This is probably gonna (laughs) terrify you.
Okay.
I don't know if you've heard this story.
I don't know. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to-
... the Mel Robbins Podcast.
That is Oakley Robbins.
Hey, guys.
Oh my God. Oh. I'm so excited you're here.
Me too.
Uh-
It's been a long time.
It has, and we get a lot of, um, (laughs) questions, comments, requests for you. So, I am so happy that you wanted to sit down, Oak. For those of you who are new to the Mel Robbins Podcast, welcome. My name is Mel Robbins. I'm a New York Times best-selling author and one of the world's most respected experts on motivation and change. And this is my son. This is our son.
I am not a New York Times best-seller, but, I don't know-
Yeah.
... I'm the son of a New York Times best-seller. (laughs)
(laughs) There you go. Uh, so, our son Oakley has been on the podcast twice, uh, three times.
Three times.
You introduced me-
Although-
... on the opening show.
... yeah, I introduced you. I was in our solo one, and then on the family one.
Right. Awesome. You're amazing.
Awesome.
And, um, I wanted to talk to you because you came into the kitchen tonight and you were like, "Oh my God, I just had the best therapy session." And I thought, "How many 17-year-old guys walk into the kitchen and announce to their family that?"
I don't know.
(laughs)
I do not know.
Do you care?
No.
(laughs)
Not really. (laughs)
Talk to me about therapy. Do you like therapy?
I would like to talk to your audience about therapy.
Okay, do it.
Guys, (laughs) therapy is like... It's awesome. I love my therapist. I love therapy. When I was younger, I had a horrible experience with therapy. It was with this, like, old woman-
(laughs)
... who, like, tried to convince me how to use an elevator, because that's what I was afraid of.
(laughs)
I was afraid of elevators. She was like, "You need to ride the elevator." And I was like, "I don't want to." Um, and so I hated therapy. I hated it. And then, um, I got a new therapist last year, and it, like, changed my life.
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