How to Set & Achieve Goals: 2 Surprising Science-Backed Steps You Must Follow

(ticking sound) A major mistake that everybody makes when they create a list of goals is that you just jot down goals like some sort of grocery list, without ever stopping to truly get clear about what you want right now. Not what you wanted last year, not what you wanted 10 years ago, not what you think you should want, but what do you actually want in the next 12 months of your life? (upbeat music) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. So, a couple of days ago, I was scrolling on my phone, just kinda wasting time on social media because Chris and Oakley had something on the TV that I could care less about. Basically, they were watching YouTube videos on TV of people skiing in the back country. So of course, like you, when I'm not that interested in what my family is doing, I tend to look at my phone. And so here I am, I'm scrolling through social media, and all of a sudden this video pops up of Oprah Winfrey. And like you, I admire her so much, and I don't know if this was a recent video or if it's something from a long time ago that is all of a sudden catching wind and going viral again, but someone was asking Oprah why she thinks so many people get stuck, and she had this really interesting answer. She said basically that after interviewing tens of thousands of people on the Oprah Winfrey Show, she believes that most people get stuck because they can't answer one question. You wanna know what the question is? It's a good one. Here it is: What do I really want? I want you to consider that question. "What do I want?" And if you really think about that question honestly, "What do I really want?" it's not the easiest question to answer, is it? And here's the reason why this is so powerful, is if you don't know what you want, how on earth could you possibly get it? And that little video inspired me to want to talk to you today about goals, because a major mistake that everybody makes when they create a list of goals, and I used to make this mistake all the time, is that you just jot down goals like some sort of grocery list without ever stopping to truly get clear about what you want in your life, what you want right now. Not what you wanted last year, not what you wanted 10 years ago, not what you think you should want, but what do you actually want in the next 12 months of your life? And this question is powerful, because in order to answer it, you have to kinda tap into the science and research, because there are two important steps that everyone misses. These two steps require you to get clear about what you actually want and why you want it, and we're gonna dig into the research, and I'm gonna unpack these two steps, and we're gonna talk a lot about this question: "What do I want?" Because maybe you've already set goals for the next 12 months, or maybe as you're listening to my voice right now, you realize, "Oh my God, I don't really have any goals." Well, don't you worry. Regardless of where you are, by the end of the episode, you're not only gonna be able to answer Oprah's question, "What do I want?" for real, but you'll know how to get it. And one thing I wanna say about this before we jump into the topic is that goals and goal setting, it can sound really boring and clinical, but this is a much bigger conversation that you and I are gonna have, because without you knowing what you want, and without you identifying and pursuing goals that are uniquely personal to you, you're just going through the motions in life. When you take the time to figure out what you want, and then you go through the process of setting and pursuing goals according to the research, goals that matter to you, this is how you create an intentional and a fulfilling life. That's why I care about this topic. That's why I wanted to talk about it. That's why Oprah's l- video inspired me to do this, because I care about you, and I care about you living a life that is full of meaning and a life that is intentional. And so today, I'm gonna hold your hand and walk you step-by-step through this process of setting goals according to the research so that you not only define what you want in this next year of your life, but that you are clear about the goals that you need to pursue, because when you take the time to do that, you will have one of the best years of your life. And by the way, I wanna take this one step further. You can see I'm, like, pretty passionate about this, because I don't want you to just listen to my voice or watch me on YouTube. I want you to not only learn this, I want you to translate all this knowledge into action as you're learning it, and so here's how I'm gonna help you do that. Our team here at the Mel Robbins Podcast, we have taken the time to create a free beautiful research-backed workbook for you, and the purpose of the workbook is to help you apply everything you're about to learn in a very purposeful and actionable way. You can think about this workbook that you're gonna get at melrobbins.com/bestyear as a roadmap to one of the best years of your life. And if you're watching on YouTube right now, that link is right down there. It will also be linked in the description of the podcast, in all of our show notes at melrobbins.com, and when you get to the landing page, melrobbins.com/bestyear, you're gonna see a welcome video that I created for you, and you will find instructions on how to get that workbook sent to your inbox instantly. So, are you ready to kick this off? I know I am, and I also know this is the topic that you need to hear right now, because I'm getting an overwhelming number of questions and messages about setting goals, just like this one from Dave. So, let's jump into it.