The #1 Hack for Being More Productive Tomorrow | The Mel Robbins Podcast

(ticking sound) Today's topic is something that, on its face, it seems really obvious, but I didn't really get serious about this topic until, my God, a few years ago, really. And I'm going to start this conversation today by talking about the single biggest hack that has helped me create a rock solid morning routine. And here is the hack. Your morning routine begins the night before. (upbeat music) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to another amazing episode of the Mel Robbins podcast. Um, I'm so excited to be here because I know you're going to get a lot out of the conversation today because, uh, today's conversation is incredibly tactical and it's going to change your perspective immediately on something you probably don't think a lot about, but it's a really powerful concept. Um, I also wanted to just take a minute, because I have completely forgotten to thank you for this, but a couple weeks ago, we passed ten million downloads on the Mel Robbins podcast, and that is (laughs) insane. We've only been doing this for a couple months. And I always say, this is not my podcast, it's our podcast, and we are growing exponentially because of you. It's your shares, it's you telling your friends, it's you sending these episodes to people that you care about because you feel like the episodes are great tools or they explain something that you haven't been able to explain. And so, I just want to tell you, that is unheard of to do that many downloads in just a few short months. That is something amazing that you have been a huge part of. So thank you, thank you, thank you. If you're brand new to the Mel Robbins podcast, welcome. My name's Mel. I'm a New York Times best-selling author and one of the most respected experts in the world on change and motivation, and I always say that you have the ability to create a better life. And I mean it. And every single week, I show up here twice a week, not only sharing stories and strategies and tools and simplifying the research that's out there so you can apply it to your life, but I am also sharing the mistakes that I have made that cost me years and a lot of headaches, and I do that because if I can prevent you from making the ma- same mistakes and I can save you the headaches and the heartaches and the time wasted that I caused myself, that, to me, is such a life well lived. And today's topic is something that, on its face, it seems really obvious, but I didn't really get serious about this topic until, my God, a few years ago, really. And the topic that I'm talking about is your morning routine, and I love this topic because it is an example of how you can apply what we've already been talking about in the first 30 some episodes of the Mel Robbins podcast. Whether you've listened to the mindset reset or the conversations we've had with experts about anxiety or healing, or maybe you've dug into the very popular episodes that we've done about habits and motivation. Even when I talk about topics like manifesting, you're starting to get that Mel is one of these people that is very, very intentional about what she does, about what she says, and the reason why I'm that way is because you're not gonna change your life by accident. You're not gonna become happier by accident. You're not going to become healthier by accident. You're not going to make the money that you deserve by accident. When you make a decision that you deserve more, that you're gonna do the work to create a better life, that singular decision will change your life. And what we're gonna do today, and I'm so fricking excited about this, is we're gonna basically put everything that we've been talking about for several months here on the Mel Robbins podcast into action. And we're gonna do that by talking about why a morning routine is so important for your success, and I'm gonna start this conversation today by talking about the single biggest hack that has helped me create a rock solid morning routine. In fact, I call my morning routine the million dollar morning because it makes me feel like a million bucks when I follow my morning routine, and the structure of a great morning routine is what helps me make millions of dollars. And so, what is the hack that has helped me create such a powerful morning routine, particularly when your friend Mel Robbins is not exactly a morning person? Well, that single biggest hack about my powerful morning routine is putting myself to bed. Yep. I have an evening routine where I wind down the day and I do a couple simple things to set myself up for success tomorrow, and then, yes, you heard it right here, Mel Robbins tucks herself into bed. And here is the hack. Your morning routine begins the night before. I'm gonna say that again. If you want to master a rock solid morning routine, and trust me, you do, your morning routine begins the night before. And this is one of those topics that it's so obvious when you unpack it, because right now, think about how many mornings you wake up and you bemoan the choices you made last night.How many times have you woken up and you're like, "Oh, I shouldn't have had so much to drink?" Or a friend texts you, and there you are at the yoga class you were supposed to make it at, and they're like, "I'm really sorry. I stayed up really late and, you know, na, na, na, na, I overslept. And, uh... And, na, na, na, na, na." We've all been there. Or what about when you wake up and you literally had fast food at 1:00 in the morning on the way home from some event and now you've got a burrito bomb in your stomach and you're like, "I can't do that to myself again." And then what do you do? You do it to yourself again. What if, instead of bemoaning the choices that you made last night, what if you got serious about making sure that the future you, the one that's waking up tomorrow morning, is actually waking up feeling really good? Yeah. You're right. It sucks to wake up and be anxious every morning because you drank almost every night, and the number one symptom of a hangover is freaking anxiety, because the chemicals in your body are getting processed. And when the chemicals get processed and you have a dump of, of cortisol and the dopamine drops and you got the poison of alc-... Of course you have anxiety. Don't sit there and feel anxious. Do something about it. Get serious about the choices you are making the night before and how that impacts you in the morning. And yeah, that includes what you eat, what you drink, but it also includes some other things. And that's what we're gonna talk about today. We're gonna talk about five simple things. These are game changers. These are not rocket science. You don't need a PhD to understand this. But let me tell you something, when you put this into practice, you will experience a level of holy shit transformation that is hard to put into words, because the decisions that you make at night determine who you are when you wake up in the morning. And you have a choice every evening to either set the future you up for success, for ease, for structure, for confidence, for winning, or you can make decisions in the evening that set you up to feel like shit, to be behind, to have a ton of stuff to do that you coulda done last night. Your decisions determine everything. And so I really wanna rattle the cage today and get you to think differently about the night. I know that your days are stressful. Mine are too. That's why so many of us engage in what's called revenge procrastination at night, which is basically this concept where you feel resentful of the fact that work took up your entire day and now you're gonna get revenge by mindlessly scrolling at night or plowing through a bottle of wine or doing nothing to set yourself up 'cause you're tired or you're mad and you deserve to relax. I agree, you do deserve to relax. But if you were to just do these five things that I'm gonna recommend, you would have time to relax, but you would also set the you that's gonna wake up tomorrow morning up for a clean slate day where you wake up, you feel great, you're set up for success. And that is going to be a positive domino that literally triggers a ton of positive stuff to happen every day. That's what we're talking about. Because the choices you make at night determine whether or not the next day is gonna be easy and empowering or whether or not you are going to wake up to a morning like the old Mel Robbins used to wake up to. And whether you're aware of it or not, I just want you to stop and consider something. Right now in your life, you already have an evening routine in place. You already have a morning routine. And today, because the big hack is understanding that a great morning routine starts the night before, you and I are gonna focus on your current evening routine. And I, as your friend, am gonna challenge you to change it. So let's do a quick experiment. Okay? I want you just to stop, think about the night in front of you, and be honest. What does the average evening in your current life look like? I'll go first, because back when I was really struggling, the old Mel, I now realize how much my evening routine was contributing to the fact that I was struggling so much. So here's what the old Mel's evening routine looked like many years ago. I would either come home from work or I would roll downstairs from working on my laptop all day and I'd crack open a bottle of wine. I'd cook dinner by trying to throw something together that was in the fridge, 'cause I hadn't really planned anything. I'd throw a load of laundry in here and there. And then, you know what I'd do? I'd basically slump down on the couch and I'd start scrolling through social media. After dinner and helping the kids with their homework, you might find the old Mel Robbins just sorta laying there on the couch with the bottle half-drained, glass of wine in hand. I got a movie or some series on the television. I got my phone in my hand. I'm zoning out. I'm scrolling along. During the commercials, the old Mel Robbins, I'd probably turn to Chris, complain about my day. Then I'd look over at the kitchen and I'd see that the counters were full of crap from the dinner that we had cooked or from the backpacks that we had emptied or the laptops that we had put there. The kids' homework was typically sprawled out among the island. And I would say to myself this. This was the routine of the old Mel Robbins. "I should probably clean that up over the next commercial break." And I'd say that over and over again. "I should probably pack their lunches. I should probably turn off the TV and read a book.""I should probably move the laundry from the washer to the dryer so it doesn't sit there for five days and then get that disgusting damp old towel smell to it, and then I have to rewash it again." I know you do that too. And all of a sudden, it would be almost 11:00 before I knew it. I would've polished off that bottle of wine. I'd get up and I'd clear off the counters and put most of the dishes into the sink, a few of them into the dishwasher. I'd do my favorite cleaning trick, which is instead of scrubbing and cleaning the pans that I had cooked dinner in, I'd just fill them up with warm soapy water and let them soak, 'cause I'd tell myself, "It's going to be easier to clean them in the morning if they soak all night." Now by this point, I'm exhausted. I'm buzzed on the wine. I'm tired from a long day. I kinda resent the fact that I have more to do when it's now 11:15. And I'd start to tell myself, "Well, I'll just pack the kids' lunches tomorrow." And then I would turn off the lights, I'd let the dog out one more time, I'd lock the doors, and I would collapse into bed with my phone. Now, it would take the old Mel Robbins a little time to fall asleep. Why? Because while I was laying there with Chris sound asleep next to me, I would scroll through my phone, I would check out social media, I'd read the news, and eventually, I would zone out. And as I was lying there, I'd feel kind of annoyed that Chris had gone to bed earlier, he had already drifted off to sleep, and at some point, I'd realize, "Oh my God, it's like, almost 1:00 in the mor- How did it get so late?" For all my fellow procrastinators out there, you know, those of us who pulled all-nighters in college, who thought, "Tomorrow. Tomorrow is a great day to pack the bags, to start my workout routine, to clean up the kitchen, to set myself up for success. Tomorrow is the day when the new me will emerge from my beauty sleep tonight. I will shake off that hangover from the bottle of wine that I've had, I'll pop a couple Advil, and I will make a fresh start. Tomorrow is the fresh start." That, well, that was the old Mel Robbins. I used to have all kinds of stories about myself for why it is that, you know, I just couldn't get my act together. "Ugh, it's just so hard for me to wind down after a long work day. I have trouble falling asleep. I need a glass of wine or two or three or four in order to relax and to fall asleep. And you know, I'm just not a morning person. That's why I can't get up earlier. I don't know why I wake up and I feel anxious and slightly hungover, but you know, I'm just not the kind of person that ever just springs out of bed, and I got so much work that I just wanna relax at night. What's the big deal?" And the problem with this is that my nights did not set me up to have a relaxing morning. Let me tell you what the old Mel Robbins life was like. Thank God Chris is not on this episode, because he would really describe it in a way that makes me feel like a loser. I would set several alarms on my phone, the first one to go off at 5:45, but that's not actually when I'm getting up. That's just alarm number one. And then I'd set another alarm for about, you know, 6:00. And then I'd set another one for 6:15, and then another one for 6:30, and then another one for 6:45, which was kind of the time that I felt like I needed to get out of bed because that's only 45 minutes to get three kids out the door and lunches packed and everything cleaned up, but I'd usually honestly roll out of bed at the last alarm, which was like the emergency alarm, which was 7:15. Sound familiar? Eh, don't tell me you don't do this. You do this. And I want you to just consider, what does that act of setting multiple alarms say to your subconscious? Think about what those actions communicate to you. I'll tell you what they communicated about the old Mel Robbins. Waking up is hard. Getting up is hard. Mornings are hard. Life is an obligation. Being in bed is better than being awake. I don't wanna get out of bed. I don't wanna start my day. There is nothing I'm looking forward to today. I have nothing to get out of bed for that actually makes me happy, which is why this is going to be a slow death march for me of alarms that are summoning me to roll out of this warm bed and actually start this day. I wasn't a morning person because the old Mel Robbins chose not to be one. The old Mel Robbins literally did absolutely nothing the night before to set herself up for success. If you think about all the choices that I was making, because deciding to just zone out in front of TV, that's a choice. Leaving the dishes for tomorrow morning, that's a choice. Not packing lunches to set yourself up for success, n- that, that's a choice. That is part of your routine. And if you don't watch it, you're gonna become like the old Mel Robbins. You're gonna be making your life harder for yourself without even realizing it. And one of the main reasons why I kept doing it is because I kept telling myself, "I'm so tired. I don't wanna have to do anything. I've worked all day." And by doing that, I was just making it harder. Now thankfully, I finally had this turning point when I realized, I don't want my mornings to be a five-alarm fire drill, because there is nothing fun about waking up late and feeling frustrated, and then being stressed at your kids, and then yelling at them to move faster because you yourself didn't get up on time, and then scrambling to pack the lunches and the drama that comes with that and then trying to get them to eat when you haven't even prepared anything and then finding that permission slip that they needed that you signed last night but you didn't put it in a place that you could find it simply because you were not thinking...... about the fact that you deserve to wake up in a powerful way. You deserve to complete your day in a way that supports you. I didn't have to race out the door. I didn't have to start my day mad at my husband, frustrated by the frenzy, going from literally sleeping to a panic attack every single morning, and then hopping in the car to commute to work to see that, oh my God, I have zero gas in the tank because I was too tired when I drove home last night to stop and I just wanted to get home. So, I didn't fill up the tank, and now I'm running late, and now I'm on the highway, and I'm pulling on at the exact time that traffic literally doubles. Why do I keep doing this to myself? And here's something interesting. Doesn't it make sense that if I start my day like that, I'm probably making myself more stressed and tired all day long? That that crazy morning is like a domino that falls, and it triggers more stress, and more being behind, and more draining energy so that you're constantly feeling like you're always reacting, because you are, because you set it up that way. I know this because I lived it for years, and I just kept saying all the disempowering thing. "Why can't I be like... Why don't I have discipline? Why don't I do this?" And I didn't understand how to break this down in a way that not only makes sense but it's supported by the research. And I think I was rolling home completely spent, not because work was long, not because the day was stressful, but because my entire experience of waking up and starting the day had started that way, that I was looking forward to that bottle of wine the second the kids got on the bus because I had spent the 45 minutes I was awake running around like the Tasmanian Devil. And I'm here to tell you, there is an easier way, and that brings me back to this hack. You can make this easier. You can be a different person. Your morning routine is everything when it comes to success and happiness and putting yourself first and finding the time that you deserve to focus on what matters to you, and that incredible morning routine has to begin the night before. That's the hack, and that's what changed everything for me. I am not the old Mel Robbins. In fact, just describing what my life used to be like is giving me a stomachache when I think about how much unnecessary stress and drama I created for myself, for my kids, for my husband. It wasn't fun for anybody, and so, I'm not like that anymore. I am a completely different person because I decided I wanted to be a completely different person. And you don't have to be a Navy SEAL. You don't have to be a competitive athlete. You don't have to run a billion-dollar company to understand that setting yourself up the night before is the secret to waking up and having a great morning, and when you have a great morning, it's easier to have a great day. That's how this builds, and so that's what we're gonna talk about. How do you end the day? How do you wind things down and put yourself to bed? I want you to stop and think about something. You already have a routine about how you shut down your house or your apartment. Think about it. Do you ever go to bed and not lock the door? No. Do you go to bed and turn the lights off? Of course you turn the lights off. Do you, like, make sure your pets are where they need to be? Of course you do. Do you shut the refrigerator? Yes, you do. Do you turn off the TV? Of course you do. All of these things that you do to turn off and shut down the house at night, you have a routine about what you physically do in your space or your home. You lock the front door. You turn off the lights. Maybe you put your dog in a crate. You brush your teeth. You kiss the kids good night. You read them a book. You turn off the television. You put on your PJs. There is this shutting down that you do that is routine. You don't even think about it. And I think about it, it's almost like we're putting the house to bed. It's easy to think about the list of things that you do without even, like, even being conscious of it when it comes to your physical environment. What I want to talk to you about today is, what are the things that you and I can do to help you do that emotionally and psychologically? And I want to give you one more example for why a routine is so empowering when you get very intentional about it. Have you ever gone to bed, maybe you're feeling sick or you've been up too late or whatever, or your kids come in later, and you wake up in the morning and all the lights are on downstairs? It's so disoriented, because you're like, "Wait a minute, why are the lights on? I always turn the lights off." It's so weird when that happens. It feels like something's wrong. What if I told you, you can get to the point where your evening routine and the series of the five things that I want you to do become so automatic, so easy, that when you don't do these things, it's disorienting? That's how important this is. So, in just a minute, I'm gonna walk you through the five things that the new, the current Mel Robbins does every single night.This is my evening routine, and the philosophy behind it is all about making my mornings easier. It's all about setting myself up for success and creating a rhythm and a routine and a structure to my evenings that gives me a sense of confidence, that helps me set the Mel Robbins that's waking up tomorrow morning up for success and ease, and that also makes me an amazing sleeper, because this routine and the structure of it signals to my subconscious brain that we're winding down here. Just like we lock the front door and it's time to go to bed, we're turning out the lights, it's time to go to bed, you are going to do a series of things that signal to your brain and to your mind that it is time to turn it off and to tuck yourself in. Like, I think a lot about how when I was growing up, m- I had a very, very strict bedtime routine. My parents were not dummies. They did not want me up late. There was no negotiation. After dinner, we had to go right upstairs and we got into a hot bath. Why? Well, because we were dirty, but also because it makes you kinda drowsy, right? It's sort of like you just do it every night. It's signaling to you, the kid, that, okay, we're in our evening routine now. We're getting into the bedtime routine. And then I'd pull on my little footed PJs and I'd zip 'em up, and we get a little bit of time downstairs to either play or watch one TV show, and then what would we do? We'd be right back upstairs. We'd be getting a bedtime story read to us, and then our parents would tuck us in, kiss us on the forehead or the cheek, and we were going to bed. That bedtime routine became this rhythm that created safety and structure and ease, something you can depend upon. And so I want you to join me in getting serious about your evening routine starting tonight. I want you to embrace the fact that your mornings will be 100 times better if you set yourself up for success starting tonight. So, we need to take a quick pause and hear a short word from our sponsors, because all of this is brought to you at zero cost, and I absolutely love that, and when we come back, I'm gonna explain the five simple steps that I have put to use in my own life that has made an extraordinary difference. Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins. I'm so thrilled you're here. We are talking about the number one hack to creating a rock solid morning routine, and that is by focusing on getting your evening right, putting yourself to bed, winding your day down in a really empowering way. I promised to share the five simple steps that I've put into action in my own life, and here they are. Step number one, use the 321 rule. The 321 rule is very simple. Here it is. Three hours before bedtime, stop eating and drinking alcohol. Two hours before bedtime, stop working. And one hour before bedtime, shut down the screens. You do the 321 rule, you're gonna get a great night's sleep and you're not gonna be so stressed. I'm gonna repeat it one more time. It- this is the 321 rule, and it taps into all kinds of research about getting a better night's sleep, about stress, about your mind being able to be calmer so you can get a better night's sleep, and about the impact on screens and blue light on your ability to get a good night's sleep. So, here it is. Three hours before bedtime, you are gonna stop eating and drinking alcohol. And for me, because I go to bed early, that meant we had to move the dinnertime a little bit earlier. Second, two hours before bedtime, stop working. Stop working. One of the reasons why you may have trouble sleeping, or relaxing, or stopping racing thoughts, or you may be work- waking up in the middle of the night, is because you're working too close to your bedtime so your thoughts are spinning and your stress level is high. So two hours before bed, stop working. And finally, one hour before bed, you gotta shut down the screen time. The blue light on your screens, your laptop, your phone, it is interfering with your brain's ability to shut down and sleep. So the 321 rule will make a huge difference in your life. Second, this rule I call, how can you make things easier for yourself? Let me unpack this. When I look back on periods of my life where it was a real struggle to stick to habits or to stay calm and confident, it was because I was making my life harder. I was relying on willpower, or discipline, or remembering to do things. And when it dawned on me, hey, there are simple things that you could do, Mel, that would make your life a hell of a lot easier, especially in the morning. There are decisions that you could make at night. There are simple things that you could do in order to take a step, in order to move the ball down the field at night so when you wake up in the morning, you don't have to do so much thinking. So let me give you some examples of this. One way that I make my life easier in the morning is, every single night, I lay my exercise clothes out on the floor in my bedroom, or heck, even in the hotel. So I've been on a business trip now, this is day 15 of a business trip hitting six different cities, and I move my body every day, and I know if I'm gonna get up at 6:00 in the morning in a hotel, I don't wanna be fumbling around in the dark looking for the pair of tights that are actually clean instead of having to turn the clothes inside out to figure out what I could put on my body. Do not do that in the morning. You're creating too much resistance, it requires too much energy and thinking. Make it easier.The night before, as you're walking around your hotel room, brushing your teeth, or you're, you know, washing your face or what... Just lay your exercise clothes out on the floor. Make it easier. That way, they're there for you in the morning. You don't even have to think about it. Isn't that fantastic? And if you've raised kids, how do you make mornings easier with kids? You pack their lunches the night before. You assemble their backpacks by the door. You put their hockey sticks, or their tennis rackets, or their cleats, the things that they need to remember right there. For you and me, here's how you can do that for yourself as an adult. Let's say you have a commitment every single morning as part of your morning routine to journal more or to drink more water. Here's a great idea. Put the water bottle, filled up, by the coffee pot. Put the journal, where you're gonna do your journaling exercises, by the coffee pot. Why? Well, because you're gonna make a cup of coffee tomorrow morning. So, have it ready there so you don't have to make the cup of coffee and then go, "Oh, wait a minute, I was gonna j- ... Where did I put that journal? Is it in the ba- ... Where's the backpack?" No, it's right there. Have your things by the door. Put healthy foods in the front of the fridge. Have a little dish that you always put your car keys in. We talked about this concept of make it easier in the episode that we did all about habits. That episode was called 5 Essential Hacks I'm Using to Make New Habits Stick. You guys ate that episode up. We will put a link to it in the, uh, show notes here. But this make it easier for yourself, do it the night before. It's all about something called activation energy. When you lay your exercise clothes out, when you put your water bottle by the coffee maker, when you pack lunches the night before, it takes less energy than having to do it when you're stressed out in the morning. You don't even have to think about it. You've set yourself up for success, and that means you're gonna be less stressed. And it means the thing that you might blow off, if it's hard in the morning, like exercise, you're more likely to get it done. Why? Because you've made it easier for you. You have supported the new you. How cool is this? It's like a little gift that you're giving yourself. The third rule is give yourself a clean slate. I also like to call this flushing the toilet. Okay? Like, when you go to bed at night, you flush the toilet when you use it, right? But why? 'Cause you do not want the mess from last night there to greet you in the morning. So, why on earth would you do that in your kitchen? Empty the sink, load the dishwasher, clear off the counters, wipe them down. Why? Well, logic. Tomorrow morning, after you wake up and you go to the bathroom, where's the first place we all go in our apartment or our home? We go to the kitchen. Would you rather see a kitchen that has last night's dishes, pots soaking in the sink, and stuff scattered all over the place from yesterday, all of which is unfinished business from yesterday? Or would you feel more empowered if you walked into the kitchen and the counters were clear and things were organized and there was nothing that you needed to clean up? The answer is obvious. Do not take today's messes into tomorrow. Do not saddle the future you with crap that the you today should be doing tonight. And that's always been a huge thing for me. Because if I walk into the kitchen in the morning, and I see a ton of dirty dishes or I see stuff all over the island, it's a trigger. And my day goes downhill. Because I'm immediately distracted. I'm immediately feeling like everybody's maid. I'm immediately feeling like I should've done this last night. I should've put these dishes... Now, this, this pot that has been soaking in the sink with all of the, the suds in it, the suds are gone and the water is ice-cold and disgusting and oily. I don't want to put my hands in that, and half the stuff hasn't soaked off anyway. And so I didn't make it easier. I actually made it harder and grosser and more disgusting, and now it takes me even more time. So, this idea, for me, of clearing the counters, no dishes in the sink, nothing on the counters, it means I am waking up to a brand-new clean slate today, both metaphorically, visually, everything. And so how can you do this? Think about this as, as part of the non-negotiables when you turn off the lights and lock the front door. Do a quick loop through the kitchen and take five lousy minutes to pull it together. Clear off the counters, get everything in the dishwasher, or finish the dishes. Get it done, because I promise you, psychologically, walking into a physically clean slate helps you mentally feel like you've been given the gift of one when you wake up in the morning. Now, the fourth rule, you're gonna get intentional about setting your alarm, and here's how you do it. There is no old Mel Robbins going on here. There is no five alarms that you're setting as you coax yourself outta bed. There is no backup plan here. Get intentional. What freaking time do you need to get up? Like, for real? Let's not do the fake math that a lot of us do, where we think that we can brush our teeth, commute to work, pack three lunches, and finish last night's homework in a matter of 10 minutes. You can't do that. Okay? You just can't. So tonight, when you set your alarm-I want you to make a decision about the person you are becoming. I'm gonna say that again. Tonight, when you set your alarm, make a decision about the person you are becoming. Tonight, be very intentional about what you truly need to start your day feeling supported, confident, at ease. How much time do you need to truly put yourself first, take care of your health, and put a little bit of time into something that matters to you? Now, I wanna just pause on this for just a second, okay? I think this is where most of us get it wrong, that your alarm has probably been set for the same time for years, and you haven't stopped to truly think about the person that you're becoming. And when you think about the person that you wanna become in this next chapter of your life, what does that person's morning routine look like? How much time do you truly want? And look, I get it, you might have to wake up 45 minutes earlier. I get it. You might not be a morning person, and I'm gonna prove to you, as we get to know each other, that you don't have to be. You don't have to be a morning person, and you can still create a rock solid evening routine and a rock solid morning routine. You don't have to be a morning person, and you can learn and support yourself in getting up 30 minutes earlier, because that is how much time you need in order to set your day up for success. And see, I think a lot of us really lose the opportunity of a fresh start and a new morning and the structure of that, because we're not intentional and honest with ourselves about what we actually need. And what I've come to learn, the more intentional that I get with myself, is I need a lot of time in the morning. I need more time than the old Mel Robbins was giving herself, because I not only need time to roll out of bed and to brush my teeth and to high five the mirror and to move my body and to, uh, set my intention and to make some progress and to do all that before I help Chris or the kids or the dogs or anybody else that works for me or anybody else that follows me or anything else that might be on my phone, that I need... Actually, if I'm being honest, I need about 90 minutes. I can get it done in 30 in a pinch, but I need about 90 if I don't wanna be rushed, if I don't wanna be resentful, if I don't want the things that I really need to do so that I can start my day feeling powerful and empowered. That's truly what I need. And you may be thinking, "Well, that's a luxury." All right, th- we're not even talking about the morning. I want you to be honest with yourself, and I want you to ask yourself this question: What time do you truly need to wake up? To make it easier, to support yourself, what would the future you say? And if you can't think of a time, I'll give you one. Set your alarm one hour earlier than you normally do, because this is more than a wake-up call. This is more than setting an alarm. What I'm asking you to do is I'm asking you to make a promise, because when you set the alarm clock tonight, what you're really doing is you're making a promise to yourself. You're making a promise that you, when that alarm rings, you're gonna wake up, you're gonna get up, and you're going to get going. And this is why it's important for you to be intentional, not casual about setting that alarm, but intentional. Because tonight, when you set that alarm clock, you're making a promise, and when you look at it that way, when that alarm rings tomorrow morning, it's about keeping that promise to yourself. That's what the act of waking up becomes, that the evening you set up the future you, the tomorrow you, the person you're becoming with a clean slate and a promise for how much time it is that you truly need and deserve every morning. And if you can start to flip how you think about that alarm, how you set it, and what it signals when it sounds in the morning, that future you is here, a promise is there to be kept, it will shift what you think about the opportunities of the morning and the time that you need to truly honor yourself and put yourself first. Now, before we get to the final rule, which is a beautiful rule that you're gonna hate like crazy, but it's the most powerful one of all, I need to take a quick break. We're gonna hear a word from our sponsors, and then we'll be right back, so don't go anywhere. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and we are talking today about the singular hack that helped me create a rock solid million dollar morning routine, and that singular hack, as you now know, is you gotta have a rock solid evening routine. And so we've covered, uh, four of the five things that I do. We've talked about the 3-2-1 rule. We've talked about this mindset flip of how can I make things easier for myself. We've also talked about the importance of giving yourself a physical clean slate so you can have a mental clean slate. Finally, we just covered the importance of getting super intentional about setting your alarm and considering it a promise that you are making and keeping with your future self. And finally, number five-Before you tuck yourself in, tuck your phone into the bathroom. That's right, no phone in the bedroom. I want it in the bathroom, in the closet, in the kitchen. Once everything else is handled, the only thing that is allowed on that clear counter in the kitchen is your phone plugged in. Because I have one rule that has changed my life, and that rule is something I do every single evening, it is a critical part of my evening routine, and that is there is no phone in the bedroom, period. And starting tonight, I want you to try this. It's a lot harder than it seems. You are about to realize how addicted you are to your phone. You are also st- gonna see firsthand how it interferes with your ability to have a powerful evening routine. You're also gonna see firsthand how it is likely interfering with your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. So, before you tuck yourself in, tuck that phone in anywhere but the bedroom. And here's how this is gonna work. So, all you're gonna do is just pick a spot that you're gonna charge your phone overnight. And for those of you that have, um, kids that need to reach you or a job that needs to reach you, I totally get that. I'm the same. So here's how you deal with that. You turn the ringer on, and you tell everybody in your life, "I don't sleep with my phone, but the ringer is on. If you have an emergency, call me." You will hear the phone ringing in the middle of the night. And what's really interesting, ever since I've done this, and I've now done this for years, is that people don't call you in the middle of the night unless it's truly an emergency. But they will text and Snapchat you all night long, and that'll keep you awake. Don't tell me that it doesn't. And so this way, you know that you can fall asleep and that somebody can reach you, but you're not going to be distracted by it because it's not gonna be near you. So that's number one. If you use your phone as an alarm, excellent. I do too. And the good news about that is that if your phone is outside of the bedroom and it's also your an alarm, and it's also your alarm, when it goes off in the morning, you have no choice but to get out of bed. And so I kinda like that hack, even though in the moment I hate that hack when I hear the alarm going off. But you could also just buy a cheap alarm clock or use a watch or something else if you're no longer using your phone as an alarm. So, why do I feel this way? I, I feel so strongly about this because you've just spent your entire day letting the whole world have access to you, because that's what you're doing when you're watching the news or responding to email or sitting on Zoom calls or you're just scrolling mindlessly through social media. You are allowing the world to steal your attention, to choke your brainpower with things that really don't matter, and honestly, there is nothing on your phone that is going to help you sleep tonight. The stuff that's on your phone is gonna get you stressed out, it's gonna get you worked up, it's gonna make you stay awake, and that's why you can't have it near you. You can't trust yourself. And so, in order to properly wind down and get a great night's sleep, which you need to do, I won't even get into the research about why you need to start becoming a better sleeper, is we have to get the one thing that's been robbing you of your attention and energy all day away from you. Do not let people have access to you once you get into your bedroom. Do not let the thing that you gave your attention to all day long be the thing that is distracting you at night. You deserve a great night's sleep, and you are just not gonna get it if that phone is sitting next to you on the bedside table. And don't lie to me, like, we're friends at this point, the majority of us sleep with our phones. I, I shouldn't even say "us" because I do not. But the majority of people, including you, have that phone in your bed, it's right there, you look at it, and you wanna know something disgusting? A third of people check email in the middle of the night. What are you doing? Email in the middle of the night? Even if you can't sleep, what are you doing? This is sick. And what I will tell you is if that phone is not in that bed with you, and it's not on the bedside table, and you can't just reach for it because it's a habit for you to reach for it when it bzzt and zzzt and buzzes and notifications or 'cause you can't sleep, "Oh, I'll just look at my phone," what a stupid idea. Because it's not there, you're not gonna do it. And so, there's a reason why you're having trouble sleeping. There's a reason why you wake up stressed out. There's a reason why you never have time for yourself. It's because you have shot yourself in the foot before you've even closed your eyes by having that phone there. I think you can tell I'm getting a little worked up, and I'm getting a little worked up because I didn't have to make my life so hard. I didn't have to stress my kids out every day before they climbed on that bus. I didn't have to start my day by yelling at Chris or screaming at the dogs or getting stuck in traffic or starting the day feeling frustrated. I didn't have to do that. And the solution to an empowering morning and to feeling supported starts with how you show up for yourself the night before. It is really that simple. And I'm frustrated because I wasted so many years of my life by making things way more difficult than they needed to be. If I had just gotten serious about these five simple things that I do now, I would've felt more in control, I would've been a lot more calm, I would've felt like I was a good mom and a supportive partner, I wouldn't have felt so much frustration. Like, there's just so much available to you if you get serious tonight. And I love all of these changes, whether you're gonna implement the 3-2-1 rule, and one way that you could do that is to put an alarm on your phone that counts you down. You could put Post-it Notes on the fridge to remind you about this stuff. But I want you to try it.And thinking about taking care of yourself tonight is not going to be the same as trying a new evening routine. And I know this is hard, and I want to help you practice a new evening routine. And that's why I want to remind you that I have this free five-day challenge. It all takes place in email. It's called The Wakeup Challenge, and it's a simple five-day free challenge, where I will support you for five days and help you get out of bed and feel in control and feel more empowered. And of course, as you focus on getting out of bed and starting your day off right, I'm going to be reminding you that a great day starts by setting yourself up for a great day the night before. All you need to do is go to melrobbins.com/wakeup. It'll start first thing tomorrow. In this challenge, I give you even more science-backed tools and strategies and tips and research that are gonna help make the habit of getting out of bed without hitting the snooze button easier, because you know what? You deserve that. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Mel, what about the morning routine?" Like, I- I got it. I got it. I got it. Tonight, I am going to try these things. I'm gonna report back. Thank you for being Captain Obvious, even though I wasn't thinking about it. Now that I'm thinking about it, it is kind of obvious, isn't it? Lot of- lot of things about improving your life are very obvious. It's just that you have to get focused on it. That's it. No worries. Don't beat yourself up. We're all gonna have a better evening tonight. That's going to create a great morning tomorrow. We are going to dig into the mechanics and the components based on research of a rock solid morning routine, and we will do that in one of the next couple episodes, I promise. So if you have questions about it, go to melrobbins.com and submit your questions about morning routines or anything related to an evening routine on the website, because I program the show based on the things that you're asking me to do, and I would love to hear what you're thinking and what you are struggling with as it relates to your mornings so we can make sure that it's super relevant to what you're dealing with. All right. But in terms of the evening routine, I just want to say, don't be jumping ahead. Try this tonight, because it really matters how you shut down the day, how you tuck yourself in, the simple things that you do to set yourself up for the future you that's gonna wake up tomorrow with a brand new clean slate. Make it easy for that future you. Place a bet on the you that's waking up tomorrow. Give that person the support that they deserve. That's what I want you to do, because if you do that, trust me, the change is gonna come faster, and it's gonna be easier because you, my friend, will be supporting that change. You'll be the one championing it. You'll be the one doing the little things that actually are everything. All right, one more thing. I just wanted to say I love you, I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to try these things tonight and to really think about your evenings and how you wind down and how you support yourself in a whole new way, because when you do that, you will be creating a better morning for yourself, and that creates a better day for yourself, and that day becomes a better week, and that week becomes a better month, and that month becomes a better year, and next thing you know, along the way, you became a better you, and that's the whole point of all of this. Go get after it. I love you. I'll talk to you in a few days. Oh, one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. (instrumental music) Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe, 'cause I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe. Mwah.