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Start Loving Yourself With THIS Simple Habit In The Morning | The Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE]
Mel Robbins (host), Chris Robbins (guest), Guest email writer (listener) (guest), Narrator
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Chris Robbins, Start Loving Yourself With THIS Simple Habit In The Morning | The Mel Robbins Podcast [ENCORE] explores mel Robbins Reveals Morning Habit Transforming Men’s Self-Worth And Healing Mel Robbins and her husband Chris discuss men’s hidden emotional struggles—people-pleasing, loneliness, pressure to provide, feeling inadequate, and a longing for deeper meaning.
Mel Robbins Reveals Morning Habit Transforming Men’s Self-Worth And Healing
Mel Robbins and her husband Chris discuss men’s hidden emotional struggles—people-pleasing, loneliness, pressure to provide, feeling inadequate, and a longing for deeper meaning.
Chris shares how founding his men’s retreat, Soul Degree, exposed these common themes and how he personally spent years feeling like a failure despite outward success in family life.
They explore Mel’s "High 5 Habit"—high-fiving yourself in the mirror—as a simple, science-backed way to begin self-acceptance, forgiveness, and rebuilding a healthy relationship with yourself.
The episode closes with a powerful listener story and a call for men and women to start with small daily acts of self-compassion, especially learning to truly look at themselves in the mirror.
Key Takeaways
Men often put everyone else first and lose sight of their own needs.
Chris finds many men literally cannot list what they want or need when asked; years of prioritizing work, family, and obligations at the expense of self have atrophied their "self-care" muscle.
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Male loneliness is widespread, especially in midlife, due to neglected friendships.
As careers, family, moves, and health issues take over, many men stop cultivating deep friendships and wake up in their 40s or 50s feeling friendless, unseen, and emotionally isolated.
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The provider role and money become a harsh yardstick of male worth.
Cultural and internal expectations to be the protector and breadwinner fuel relentless pressure; when careers stall or businesses fail, men often see themselves as complete failures rather than people who had setbacks.
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A high proportion of men quietly feel “not good enough.”
Chris describes years of looking in the mirror and seeing only failure, missed expectations, and comparison to his father’s model of success, which fed long-term depression and self-criticism.
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The High 5 Habit is a simple entry point to self-forgiveness and self-love.
High-fiving yourself in the mirror—especially while making eye contact—leverages the brain’s lifelong positive association with high-fives, triggering encouraging neurochemistry and beginning to rewire how you relate to yourself.
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Transformation starts by truly looking at yourself, not looking through yourself.
Both Mel and Chris emphasize that the hardest but most crucial step is pausing at the mirror, meeting your own eyes with compassion (rather than criticism), and acknowledging your humanity, efforts, and scars.
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Self-love is built through consistent actions, not just feelings or thoughts.
Mel reframes self-love as behaving lovingly toward yourself—eye contact, kind self-talk, daily high-fives, and forgiveness—until your feelings about yourself gradually catch up with your actions.
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Notable Quotes
“The high five was easy, but looking at myself in the mirror, that was not easy.”
— Chris Robbins
“Very rarely do men feel truly seen and heard.”
— Chris Robbins
“You may feel alone, but you are not alone… in either the struggle you have with forgiving yourself or the judgments or the failures.”
— Chris Robbins
“You will never forgive yourself if you refuse to look yourself in the eyes with compassion.”
— Mel Robbins
“When it comes to learning to love yourself, you have to start with the actions—actions that demonstrate love.”
— Mel Robbins
Questions Answered in This Episode
If I asked myself to write down what I truly want and need, would I struggle to fill the page like the men at Chris’s retreats?
Mel Robbins and her husband Chris discuss men’s hidden emotional struggles—people-pleasing, loneliness, pressure to provide, feeling inadequate, and a longing for deeper meaning.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
In what ways have I unconsciously tied my worth to money, career status, or being a provider, and how is that shaping my self-image?
Chris shares how founding his men’s retreat, Soul Degree, exposed these common themes and how he personally spent years feeling like a failure despite outward success in family life.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
What would change in my life if I genuinely prioritized my emotional health and friendships with the same urgency I give to work and family obligations?
They explore Mel’s "High 5 Habit"—high-fiving yourself in the mirror—as a simple, science-backed way to begin self-acceptance, forgiveness, and rebuilding a healthy relationship with yourself.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
What comes up for me emotionally when I try to look myself in the eyes in the mirror for 30 seconds—pride, shame, numbness, avoidance?
The episode closes with a powerful listener story and a call for men and women to start with small daily acts of self-compassion, especially learning to truly look at themselves in the mirror.
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
If I committed to a 5-day High 5 Habit challenge, what resistance or beliefs would I need to confront to follow through?
Get the full analysis with uListen AI
Transcript Preview
Today, you and I are going to have a conversation about the most important relationship that you have in life, and that's the relationship you have with yourself. The first domino that needs to fall is something that I call the high five habit.
The high five was easy, but looking at myself in the mirror, that was not easy.
Why? Can I hold your hand?
(Laughs) . (music)
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Today, I'm, I'm, I've got a special treat for you and me. Ladies and gentlemen, Christopher Robbins has agreed to come on the show today.
Thanks for having me, Mel.
Well, I gave you no choice. We'll be honest with that. I sort of twisted your arm into this, because there's a very-
Not really.
... important thing that once you shared it with me, I wanted you to share it with everybody. And I should just point out, everybody, that like a lot of our podcast episodes, we're just putting our arms around you and taking you on a walk with Chris and I today, and what's happening on our walk is there's a construction project outside. So, if you hear some beep, beep, beeps, or some backing up, you're just here with us in Vermont on a walk. All right, Chris? (laughs)
(laughs) Just another day in the beep beeps.
Yep, that's right. Let me just set the table a little bit, okay? So, I was talking to Chris this morning, and my husband, about six years ago, founded a men's retreat called Soul Degree. I think a lot of you know the story about the restaurant businesses, uh, tanking and our life savings going down the drain with it. After the restaurant business tanked, you took a couple of years to really figure out what you were going to do next with your life and to heal. A lot of went down for you personally in the wake of that experience of launching a business, pouring your heart and soul into it, and then, um, it not working. And one of the things that you've done is you started a men's retreat called Soul Degree, where you take men out into the woods, and it's a five-day experience that includes yoga and journaling and, um, guided meditation and all kinds of coaching, and so you've got one of your men's retreats coming up, and you never, ever talk about what happens at them. You come back and you're completely transformed, and I really respect the fact that you don't share anything because it's all confidential. But I asked you this morning if you would just tell me, like, what are the themes that come up when you go and do a retreat with five men, or you're coaching your male clients? And you said there were five very distinct themes that all the men that you work with are struggling with, and when you told them to me, I was shocked, and I said, "Everybody needs to hear this." So, that's what I want to talk about, okay?
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