Don’t Quit: The Reminder You Need to Hear When You Feel Unmotivated

(Ticktock sound) Holy cow. I haven't talked to you about this thing called Quitter's Day. It is a legit phenomenon. There is a particular day of the month that most people quit when they have new health goals. Mm-hmm. That's why so many of us do quit right around this time. They missed a day, they're exhausted. How sad is that? But not you. You did not fall off the wagon. You hit a bump and now your seat is back on the wagon and you can keep going. I will push you past Quitter's Day because you, my friend, are a winner. (Music) Oh my gosh, I am so excited to talk about this. I know I use that word all the time, I must sound like a broken record. But today, I am truly, deeply excited because I am going to share a concept with you that I learned two years ago that has fundamentally changed the way that I think about discipline, willpower, consistency. You're going to freaking love this, and when I realized, holy cow, I haven't talked to you about this thing called Quitter's Day. Have you heard anybody talk about the phenomenon called Quitter's Day? Anywhere? Television, podcasts, anywhere. I mean, if you've taken a course with me, then you've heard me talk about it, but have you heard anyone else talk about the fact that there is something called Quitter's Day? It is a legit phenomenon, and when I learned about what Quitter's Day was and I learned about the research around it, holy smokes, it has helped me be so much more consistent when I'm trying to do anything new. You're going to freaking love this. So here's the deal. Researchers have found, get this, that based on data, there is a particular day of the month that most people quit when they have new health goals. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And there's two reasons why I freaking love this topic of Quitter's Day. First of all, nobody talks about it. I mean, just stop and think, if there's actually a day where most people quit, I'd like to know that day. Wouldn't you like to know that day? Of course you would. And that brings me to the second reason why I'm so excited about this topic. If you know the day that people are most likely to quit, you can take the steps to avoid it. It's kind of like a pothole in the road, right? You can just steer right around it if you see it, and if you expect it, you can navigate around it. So let's talk about Quitter's Day, shall we? So that you don't quit and neither do I. When is Quitter's Day? Day 19. It is day 19 into any new routine, and this research f- comes from a company called Strava. Now, Strava is a fitness app and people use this app to track their runs, and Strava looked at over 800 million user logged activities. That's a lot of data. That is a lot of information, and based on the data from 800 million pieces of logged activity, they crunched the numbers and said the day when most people are likely to give up on their New Year's resolution, day 19. The day when most people are likely to give up that new thing they started, day 19. That's why it's called Quitter's Day. Day 19, which is why you and I are talking about it today, because guess what? Day 19 of 2024 is right around the corner, and you, my friend, are not going to hit that pothole. You are going to know it's coming and you are just going to steer right around it, and if you're listening to this at some other time of the year or some other year entirely, this is still relevant, because any time you make a change, you need to know that Quitter's Day is on the horizon. And research is also very interesting about new changes, because most of us start a new habit or make a new change when on a Monday, or on the first of the year, or at the beginning of a new quarter, or at the beginning of a school year. And so if that's you, guess what? There's a day 19 in that game too, and it's common. And if you're doing Dry January right now, or Whole30, or any one of the challenges that people take on at the beginning of the year, and you're approaching that day 19, oh, it's losing its luster, isn't it? When you jumped onto the bandwagon on New Year's Eve and was like, "I'll do Dry January with you guys." You were all excited and motivated. You were excited for the first week or so as you're making your mocktails, but now that we're cranking into week three, oh, you may be sleeping better, but boy is this work. Or if you've been going to the gym, this was the year you're gonna attack the gym, man, or you've been jumping on the Peloton or you've been working on not being so emotional, not being so reactive. Just let them, to the people around you. Isn't it interesting? It's kind of easy week one. Week two, it starts to be a bit of a grind. Week three, it's like, "Is this ever gonna end? Why did I agree to do this?" I'll tell you why this is hard, because managing this change, holy smokes, it's a lot of energy to create new neuroplasticity. It's a lot of energy to rewire your nervous system. It takes a lot of activation energy to break through old habits. That's why we quit, because the newness is worn off. It's not that motivating anymore, is it? It's not that exciting. It's not that shiny. You may even start to feel what I always feel right around this time. You know what I always feel? I feel mad at myself. I feel mad at myself that I actually agreed to do this BS. I start rebelling against myself.I start being angry that I actually agreed to take this on. I might even be snippy at Chris when I'm like, "We have to go for a walk. I know I agreed for- go for a walk every day after dinner, but I don't want to go for a walk," and I know you know what I'm talking about, and here's the other reason why we start to feel like quitting right about now. I'll tell you why. Are you seeing any results? I'm not seeing any results. I mean, this is, uh, this is hard work to change my life. I kind of thought if I just stopped eating gluten, all of a sudden, the menopause middle would be gonzo by now, but I'm not seeing the results I wanted to see, and this is particularly true if you kind of got duped into making changes while you were on vacation. You know, you're on vacation, you're away from your life, you're like, "Oh, this is easy. I can have a smoothie every day 'cause they're making it at the hotel," or, "Oh, this is easy. I can go for a walk every day because it's warm outside where I am right now and I'm not at work, so I got the time to do this," but guess what? It's now week two or week three and you're back at work or you're back at school, and it's kind of hard to fit all this new stuff in and get to the grocery store and prep all the stuff, and life is starting to overwhelm you, and because the new you is now in your old life. That's why it feels like a lot of work. Everything else in your life didn't change, not the place that you live, not the place that you work, just the things that you're trying to do in here. And here's another mistake that you make and I make right about now. You've probably missed a day, haven't you? If you're a normal human being and you're not a robot, you probably missed a day, and somehow, because you haven't kept the perfect streak, you think all the progress is lost. All the moves I've made, for naught. Well, guess what? Your friend Mel Robbins is here to tell you (snaps fingers) research says that's not true. It's not true. All the time that you have spent practicing this new behavior, going to the gym, eating the healthy stuff, drinking your water, making your mocktails, doing what you know you need to do, guess what? From a neuroplasticity standpoint, you're making a lot of progress and that progress doesn't disappear overnight. Your body doesn't just forget that you haven't had alcohol. Your body doesn't just forget all of the weight training that you've been doing, not in a day or two, but you think because you needed to make a streak of this thing, that if you miss one day, all of a sudden you've fallen off the wagon and the wagon has taken off in a sprint to the sunset. It is without you. It has stranded you here on the road. You are screwed. It is over. No changes for you. Baloney. Scientifically, it is not true. You did not fall off the wagon. You hit a bump, and now your seat is back on the wagon and you can keep going. From a habit formation standpoint, you still get all those days that you made the good choices. So don't quit. But that's why so many of us do quit right around this time. They missed a day. They're exhausted. How sad is that? But not you. Not you. Because you're gonna do what I'm gonna do. You know what I do if I'm in, like, a month-long challenge and I miss a day? I just add a day. (laughs) And that's it. Just add a day. Instead of quitting, add a day. Because if you're sick for one day or you're overwhelmed at work, don't let that prevent you from pushing yourself to keep moving forward. Of course you can make the changes stick. Of course you can make the money that you want to make. Of course you can still launch that business. Of course you can get into n- nursing school. Of course you can do this. Just because it's hard doesn't mean you can't do it. Just because it's lost its luster doesn't mean you can't push forward. In moments like this, I'm gonna tell you something, two things really help. First of all, you got to remind yourself, why did you want this change in the first place? You know, you're standing there, you're tired, you don't feel like doing it. Why did you want to do this? And this works so well, this is research from the University of Oregon. I have talked about this now on multiple podcasts that we have released in the last month. I have even given you a free resource that you can still get your, your mitts on. You can download it in less than a minute at melrobbins.com/bestyear. Several hundred thousand fellow listeners have already downloaded this from around the world. Do not miss out on living the life you could be living because this will help you answer what do you want and why do you want it? And once you figure out, "Why do I want this? Why do I want to spend a month not drinking? Why do I want to spend a month eating whole foods? Why do I want to spend a month in a experiment where I've removed gluten or dairy or sugar or something for my health? Why do I want to put in resistance training? Why do I want to get serious about making some money here, huh? Why do I want to do that? Why do I want to heal?" When you know that, there is no fricking quitter's day for you because you know what you want and you know why you want it. But you know what else can really help in a moment like this where you're kind of dragging and you know why you want it? You know that friend who said they would jump on the Peloton with you every single day this month? They haven't been around the last three days-