“I Can’t Stop Stalking My Ex Online. How Do I Stop?” How To Move On For Good | Mel Robbins Podcast
Mel Robbins (host), Guest (guest)
In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Guest, “I Can’t Stop Stalking My Ex Online. How Do I Stop?” How To Move On For Good | Mel Robbins Podcast explores mel Robbins Tackles Obsession, Intimacy, Faith, Parenting, and Self‑Worth Mel Robbins answers listener questions in a rapid-fire format, covering topics from anxiety and decluttering to stalking an ex online, new-parent intimacy, faith, and feeling unworthy despite heavy self‑work. She shares practical strategies she’s adopted from expert guests, emphasizes body-based approaches to mental health, and reframes social media stalking of an ex as an addiction requiring firm boundaries. Robbins also discusses cultivating intimacy after childbirth with empathy for women’s physical and emotional recovery, and redefines self-promotion as an act of service rather than ego. Throughout, she stresses aligned action—behaving like the person you want to become—as the real engine of change, not just consuming personal development content.
Mel Robbins Tackles Obsession, Intimacy, Faith, Parenting, and Self‑Worth
Mel Robbins answers listener questions in a rapid-fire format, covering topics from anxiety and decluttering to stalking an ex online, new-parent intimacy, faith, and feeling unworthy despite heavy self‑work. She shares practical strategies she’s adopted from expert guests, emphasizes body-based approaches to mental health, and reframes social media stalking of an ex as an addiction requiring firm boundaries. Robbins also discusses cultivating intimacy after childbirth with empathy for women’s physical and emotional recovery, and redefines self-promotion as an act of service rather than ego. Throughout, she stresses aligned action—behaving like the person you want to become—as the real engine of change, not just consuming personal development content.
Key Takeaways
Treat obsessive checking of an ex’s social media as an addiction.
Mel argues that repeatedly monitoring an ex’s online life delivers a dopamine-fueled emotional high followed by pain, mirroring addictive cycles like gambling or alcohol; the solution is to remove access entirely by blocking them on all platforms and enlisting friends for accountability.
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Prioritize body-based habits over rumination for better mental health.
Drawing from multiple experts, she emphasizes that effective mental health strategies start ‘from the neck down’—getting out of bed immediately, seeing morning light, walking without headphones, intermittent fasting, and nervous-system care—all of which stabilize mood more reliably than just thinking differently.
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Use simple, continuous decluttering instead of organizing piles.
Dana K. ...
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Endless ‘personal development’ consumption isn’t the same as doing the work.
Mel distinguishes between enjoying motivational content and actually changing your life; real ‘work’ means altering daily habits, confronting childhood patterns, healing the nervous system, and practicing behavioral activation—acting like the worthy person you want to be even before you feel that way.
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Reframe marketing your business as an act of service, not bragging.
For people afraid of seeming egotistical, she calls it selfish to hide valuable products or services because of insecurity; marketing is how people who need you can find you, so promoting your work is part of serving others, not self-aggrandizement.
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Approach post-baby intimacy with empathy, communication, and non-sexual closeness.
Instead of fixating on ‘when can we have sex again,’ she urges partners to acknowledge the physical trauma and hormonal upheaval of birth, focus on affection and emotional connection, and have open conversations about what feels safe and good for the mother right now.
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Stop forcing your child into social circles that don’t choose them.
When parents push to get their kids included in every event, it often reflects the parent’s own insecurity; Mel recommends letting kids form their own friendships, not overmanaging invites, and helping them find better-fitting friends instead of chasing those who exclude them.
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Notable Quotes
“You need to block them. You literally delete their contact information, because, Patsy, you're a fucking addict.”
— Mel Robbins
“When your past is in your present, you can't create a different future.”
— Mel Robbins
“How dare you deny people your products and services because you're too fucking insecure to market them.”
— Mel Robbins
“It wasn't until I started getting very focused on acting like the person you want to be that things changed.”
— Mel Robbins
“The world is aligned to help you when you become aligned with what is true for you.”
— Mel Robbins
Questions Answered in This Episode
If I block my ex but still mentally obsess about them, what additional steps can I take to break the emotional addiction?
Mel Robbins answers listener questions in a rapid-fire format, covering topics from anxiety and decluttering to stalking an ex online, new-parent intimacy, faith, and feeling unworthy despite heavy self‑work. ...
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How can I tell whether I’m truly ‘doing the work’ versus just consuming self-help content that makes me feel productive?
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What would a practical, one-week experiment of ‘acting like the worthy version of me’ actually look like in daily behavior?
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How can couples create a shared plan for rebuilding intimacy after childbirth that honors both partners’ needs and fears?
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In what ways might my parenting around my kids’ friendships be driven by my own unresolved social insecurities?
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Transcript Preview
(ticking sound) So, a couple weeks ago, I took a bunch of your questions rapid fire, and so, we're gonna do it again today. You ask, I answer.
He says, "How do I show my wife love, and bring back intimacy after having a new baby?"
What Phil's actually asking is, "When can we have sex again?"
(laughs) From Missy, "Do you believe in God?" "Mel, how do I stop looking at my ex's social media?" But listen to this, "I'm seven years split," she says.
Oh, God.
Tell Patsy. What does she need to do?
How's that? (laughs)
Mic drop. (instrumental music plays)
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. So, a couple weeks ago, I, for the first time, took a bunch of your questions rapid fire. It was such a freaking home run that you nearly crashed our website at melrobbins.com with more questions. And so, we're gonna do it again today, and if you guys continue to crash our website, (laughs) just go to melrobbins.com/podcast and you can submit, submit a topic. Uh, we're gonna keep on doing this. So, without further ado, you ask, I answer, and my friend and colleague, Amy McGlynn, who you've heard on this podcast, is going to be reading your questions rapid fire. Let's fucking go.
Okay. Lee asks you, "Mel, what are things you've learned from these guest speakers you've had on the podcast that you've implemented yourself?"
Oh, I love this question.
Isn't that a great question? Yes. Okay.
So, number one is, um, uh, we did an episode on anxiety, and that was with, uh, Dr. Russell Kennedy. And when he started talking about the alarm in your body, and, you know, calling anxiety "alarm", and that the anxiety alarm is always the little you feeling separate, that it rings in moments where you feel separate from other people, separate from your power, that you feel alone in something, and soothing that part of yourself and telling yourself it's gonna be okay, that has been a huge thing for me. Also, a thing, uh, that I've learned from multiple experts, this just keeps coming up as a theme, is that all mental health, uh, issues, we tend to immediately think it's about your mind and thoughts, and the truth is, the most effective solutions, and this has been true in my life, but I keep hearing our experts say this, are from the neck down. So, all of the changes that you can make to your physical habits, to taking care of your nervous system, the things that I do, I don't lay in bed in the morning. I get right out of bed, I make my bed, I get outside and see bright light right away, uh, to reset the circadian rhythms. I take a walk outside, and I don't listen to anything. Um, that's something I learned on this podcast as a way to boost my mood first thing in the morning and to, um, uh, just feel better and it's something I can do. Uh, let's see, a third thing, oh, intermittent fasting. I learned so much from Dr. Mindy Pelz, so much. And the intermittent fasting of, uh, going for a 12 to 16 hour window of not eating every day for 21 days, and then taking seven days off because I'm a woman, and if my hor- that, that is, that I've implemented. It has changed the game. And let me think of a final thing. Um, Dana K. White changed my goddamn life.
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