Why Nobody is Having Sex Anymore (& why it matters) - Dr Debra Soh

Is people having less sex a big deal?

It is a big deal. [laughs] Well, ask anyone who's not having sex if it's a big deal. I think they'll tell you, "Yeah, it is a problem." Especially considering that it is young men who are typically in the, their prime and at the peak of their sexual drive. So not only is it, I think, quite frustrating for them, but also when you're in a situation like that where you're struggling and it's not just about the sex, it's also about the connection and the emotional intimacy and the larger feeling of connectedness and community. So, um, Sextinction is very much about the sex recession-

Mm.

... and the fact that young people, Millennials and Ge- Gen Z in particular, are having less sex than previous generations. And I was skeptical at first. I thought that this talk about the sex recession and sexlessness was overblown. But after I sat down and got a chance to go through the data myself, look at the media reportage, talk to people, and we see consistently with multiple data sets that one in three men and one in five women have not had sex in the past 12 months, which is a large number of people. And so I was interested with this book, what is taking the place of sex?

Mm.

And what i- what does that say about where we're headed in the future?

How different is modern sexual activity to what we understand about the past?

Well, in terms of, say, the outlets that we have available, so the one question has been is sex really on the decline, or is it that other outlets are taking the place like porn with some masturbation, um, things like OnlyFans or now AI companions? So each of these subjects have a different chapter in the book to themselves and, and myself explaining, trying to understand, um, what the trend is about. Is it convincing? I test them out myself, which was a lot of fun in many cases.

Mm.

Um, going through the scientific research in terms of what we do know about these technologies, and then also talking about the evolutionary biology and psychology that is underpinning them. So what makes these technologies alluring to human beings, and why is it that it's potentially dangerous or distracting us from real life sex?

How different is the amount of sex, person-on-person sex, that modern people are having compared with what we understand about the past?

Well, everyone across the board is having less sex. So regardless of whether you are married or in a relationship or single, um, it's ac- in Eastern countries, Western countries, basically all developed countries and all age cohorts, but as I mentioned, most, uh, more specifically among young people. But your question earlier about, you know, is it taking the place of potentially masturbation or other outlets or other sexual outlets. Um, and if you look at studies that are asking about adolescent sexuality, so this is a understandably, uh, uncomfortable subject, right, to think about ad- adolescent sexual awakening, but they had parental consent, so it's a legitimate study. And what they found at e- is even among adolescents, they are having lower rates of masturbation and across the board with everyone, less partnered sex, less so less, um, intercourse, less anal sex, less all types of sex, oral sex, um, partner masturbation, I said, solo masturbation as well. So across the board there's been this decline. So it's not that people are just preferring masturbation, although I do think that is something that is happening, especially when we look at pornography and-