13 Semi-Controversial Truths About Men & Women - Adam Lane Smith

Episode five. You are getting into the upper stratosphere of repeat guests now.

I love that. Next one, we'll have to do in person. I'll buy you a beer.

Ah, I'm down. I'm down. All right. Young men, if you choose the wrong woman, you are sacrificing your goals for a life spent managing her problems that she refuses to fix. The right woman will augment your life goals. She'll be a jet engine strapped to your back that pushes you ahead even faster.

I've been teaching men this lately. I got a co- new course out about marriage. You are supposed to be the CEO in a relationship, life, family that you're building. You need to pick a woman who's an appropriate COO, operations officer who's gonna work with you, a co-executive. You don't need a woman that's lagging behind, that's dragging at you, that you can't get to the office to work, and you also don't want to have her take the lead over you 'cause she'll resent you. You need to work together like co-executives. And when you do, there is nothing on this planet that will drive you faster to success than that good woman.

What does choosing the wrong woman look like? You're sacrificing your goals for a life spent managing her problems that she refuses to fix.

A lot of guys lately... And I know, Chris, you've heard this. A lot of guys complain that women have no accountability. I say that women who are living in a state of chronic terror and their sympathetic nervous system is activated and they're alone, they're in a heightened survival state, they're designed to try to push off responsibility for survival. That's a woman who's in a very insecurely attached state. When a woman's in a calm, securely attached state, she focuses instead on her long-term life goals and her ethics and principles to get her there. These are the women that we record through history of having been incredible drivers of love, success, growth, everything. A securely attached woman is what a man needs to be looking for. Nothing less.

That sounds a lot like a bidirectional problem, that the woman doesn't feel safe because she's not being made to feel safe. So in some ways, it's not just choosing... I, I suppose choosing the wrong woman sounds like there is something wrong with them. But I guess in, built into this is if you choose an incompatible woman, she becomes the wrong woman. Is that a fair way to frame it?

It is. It is. The man does have responsibility. The masculine, our job is to provide four levels of safety, if you want to get into that, for women. We need to provide safety at four levels, but the woman needs to be able to receive safety. And in our world right now, we're not training women to receive safety at all. They stay feeling unsafe, even if the man is adequately providing those levels of safety for her.