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ADHD Chatter Podcast

Europe's No.1 ADHD Doctor: Women Deserved Better! | Dr. Tony Lloyd PhD

Dr Tony Lloyd is a leading ADHD specialist. He has been the driving force in promoting neurodiversity in the UK and campaigned for a neurodiverse paradigm in education, health services, employment and human resource management.

Dr. Tony LloydguestAlex Partridgehost

Apr 28, 20251h 0mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Tony Lloyd's Path to ADHD Advocacy
Alex asks about Tony's mission. Tony explains it evolved from his work as a child and adolescent psychotherapist, seeing children labelled as naughty, and from realizing he had ADHD at 29. He recounts his husband Colin saying he couldn't possibly have it because he has lots of degrees.
- •Mission evolved from seeing children described in shaming terms
- •Trained as a child and adolescent psychotherapist and did doctoral research in schools
- •Realized he had ADHD at 29 after a conversation with his younger cousin
- •Colin doubted the diagnosis because Tony had many degrees
- •Hyperactivity is seen as an asset at work but a disorder in a classroom
Responding to 'ADHD Isn't Real' and Rethinking the Label
Alex raises the response of 'ADHD doesn't exist' or 'it's trendy', and Tony argues it is real and genetic but should not be called a disorder. They discuss renaming it, medication as a cognitive enhancer rather than a cure, and how context determines whether ADHD is an asset.
- •Genetic factors and heritability show ADHD exists; you are five times more likely to have it with an affected relative
- •Tony dislikes the acronym and the idea of it being a disorder
- •Ned Hallowell's VAST renaming is discussed
- •Medication helps but does not teach people how to live with ADHD
- •Society has historically excluded people for being different
Why Some People with ADHD Thrive and Others Struggle
Alex asks what separates content, successful people with ADHD from those who struggle. Tony says context matters, describing times ADHD was an asset and times it was disabling, and the role of relationships and learned strategies.
- •Context determines whether ADHD is an asset or a disability
- •Traumatic childhood raises vulnerability to anxiety and depression
- •Tony had a hard year of multiple bereavements
- •Good relationships and lifestyle strategies learned at 29 help him manage
The NHS Stigma, Over-Diagnosis Myth and Social Media
Tony explains how his therapy work led him to focus on ADHD and criticizes the old NHS landing page. He argues ADHD is not over-diagnosed given medication figures and says social media filled an information vacuum, while 20% of people have a neurodevelopmental neurotype.
- •Old NHS page linked ADHD to crime and addiction
- •3 million people have ADHD in the UK but only 250,000 access medication
- •Eight and a half million take antidepressants
- •Social media democratized knowledge, though some influencer content is inaccurate
- •One in five people have one of five common neurotypes
Why Women Were Overlooked
Tony says women were ignored in diagnosis, a point he attributes to gender discrimination. They discuss the effects of being called too sensitive or crazy, medication effect sizes, and the anger women feel on diagnosis.
- •Historic gender bias skewed diagnosis towards boys
- •Women were told they were emotional, anxious or depressed
- •Antidepressants and ADHD medication have different effect sizes, per Tony
- •Half of new adult diagnoses are women
- •Anger on late diagnosis is justified
The Purgatory Period and Addiction Before Diagnosis
Tony describes the purgatory period of suspecting ADHD but finding little knowledgeable help. He covers how self-medicating, such as with caffeine, nicotine, exercise or drugs, can happen before diagnosis.
- •GPs and psychiatrists historically knew little about ADHD
- •Frustration at not having balanced information earlier
- •Tony's own caffeine, smoking and gym habits as dopamine-seeking
- •Some people with addictions find out later they have ADHD
Tipping Points Into Crisis and Seeking Assessment
Alex asks what tips someone from coping to crisis. They discuss self-defeating self-concepts, the mask causing repeated bad fits, life events knocking stability, and weaknesses in teacher training and education.
- •Tipping point is unique to the individual
- •Repeated mistakes and abandoned projects can prompt assessment
- •Life events like menopause, a child or job loss can break stability
- •Cumulative traumatic events reduce resilience
- •Education focuses on intellect over safety and belonging
Masking and Accountability
Alex asks about masking and Tony distinguishes ordinary assimilation from exhausting pretending. Tony stresses that ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse, and gives examples of reasonable accommodations and unacceptable behavior.
- •Everyone adapts to different social groups
- •Masking is exhausting pretense
- •ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse
- •Example of flexible hours for time blindness
- •A racist comment is not excusable by impulsivity
Rejection Sensitivity and Sensitivity as a Strength
Alex asks where RSD fits in, including people-pleasing and fear of confrontation. Tony says sensitivity is not a weakness, that RSD is not in diagnostic criteria but clinicians consider it, and that ADHD traits can be assets in the right context.
- •People-pleasing and lack of boundaries can follow fear of rejection
- •Frustration can build until someone loses their temper
- •RSD is not in the diagnostic criteria but is asked about in assessments
- •Sensitivity helps musicians and artists
- •Impulsivity and mind-wandering can be strengths in some contexts
Tony's View of ADHD as Natural Neurodiversity
Asked for unpublished theories, Tony restates that ADHD is a natural expression of human neurocognitive diversity, not a disorder. He suggests an evolutionary reason and that everyone has something to learn from one another.
- •ADHD is a natural expression of diversity, not a disorder
- •He believes there is an evolutionary reason why 1 in 20 have an ADHD neurotype
- •Every brain is as unique as a fingerprint
- •Fear of difference drives exclusion
The ADHD Item: The Umbrella
Tony reveals the umbrella as his ADHD item. He explains how a group of young people called The Umbrella Gang created The Umbrella Project, which became a symbol of neurodiversity.
- •Young people first called themselves The Alphabet Kids
- •They became The Umbrella Gang and made educational comics
- •Umbrella Project displays colorful umbrellas in public places
- •Many of the young people have gone on to major achievements
Agony Aunt: Helping Colleagues Understand ADHD at Work
In the Washing Machine of Woes segment, a listener asks how to communicate struggles to colleagues who doubt ADHD. Tony advises wearing ADHD with pride, running awareness events and presenting a strength-based view with famous examples.
- •Wear your ADHD with pride
- •Small Umbrella Project events in an office can start conversations
- •Talk to someone trusted about self-worth
- •Tony doesn't see ADHD as a gift but as a possible asset
- •Cited historical figures with ADHD as challenging stereotypes
Letter from the Previous Guest and Sign-Off
Tony reads the previous guest's three rules to live by: slow down, revisit self-awareness, and overcome ADHD shame. He reflects on how these resonate with him and the episode closes.
- •Slow down and be present
- •Revisit self-awareness through journaling, learning and coaching
- •Become aware of strengths as well as struggles to overcome shame
- •Tony's mind is hyperactive at 63 though his body can't keep up

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