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Leading ADHD Clinician Reveals Scariest Side Of ADHD | Ms. Danielle Mulligan

Ms. Danielle Mulligan is a leading ADHD clinician and a UK-based Nurse Practitioner specialising in ADHD. Danielle oversees the clinical processes at Focused, a UK-based online clinic specialising in ADHD. Get a discount on your ADHD assessment at Focused -- use the code 'CHATTER' at checkout. Chapters: 00:25 Why ADHD adults feel unlovable 03:01 Danielle’s ADHD mission 06:14 Post diagnosis emotions 10:50 Does a diagnosis make you happy 12:25 What life events can trigger an ADHD assessment 14:13 Common ADHD criticisms 19:37 What RSD feels like 22:16 Tiimo advert 23:24 People pleasing 25:32 Is female ADHD harder than male ADHD 32:43 The importance of early diagnosis 37:28 Danielle’s ADHD item 40:36 Audience questions 46:55 A letter to my younger self Take the Focused survey = £100 prize draw 👉 https://uk.focused.clinic/adhd-relationships-survey/quiz Explore Focused 👉 https://uk.focused.clinic/ Focused on Tiktok 👉 https://www.tiktok.com/@focusedclinic Focused on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/focused.clinic/ Focused on Youtube 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@UK.Focused.Clinic Focused on X 👉 https://x.com/Focusedclinic Focused on Facebook 👉 https://www.facebook.com/focusedclinic Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817 Producer: Timon Woodward  Recorded by: Hamlin Studios Trailer Editor: Ryan Faber DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Alex PartridgehostDanielle Mulliganguest
Nov 24, 202548mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

ADHD clinician explains shame, RSD, burnout, and diagnosis clarity journey

  1. Undiagnosed ADHD often leads people to interpret symptoms as personal flaws, driving masking, isolation, and chronically low self-esteem.
  2. Post-diagnosis reactions vary widely—relief, grief, anger, or disappointment—because the label reframes past experiences and changes future coping strategies.
  3. Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is described as intense, exhausting over-analysis where minor feedback can feel catastrophic and fuels anxiety and people-pleasing.
  4. Women are frequently missed or misdiagnosed (often as anxiety/depression) due to internalized hyperactivity, high masking, and modern-life role overload that increases burnout risk.
  5. The guest’s mission centers on affordable, timely assessments and ethical care, including clear signposting when someone doesn’t meet ADHD criteria.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Many ADHD adults feel “broken” because symptoms get moralized.

Forgetting, disorganization, and inconsistency are often interpreted as laziness or stupidity when ADHD is undiagnosed, which erodes confidence over years.

A diagnosis is not “instant happiness,” but it can be a major turning point.

Danielle frames diagnosis as clarity that enables self-understanding and rebuilding; for some, the explanation alone helps even if medication isn’t a fit.

Clinicians should plan for an emotional processing window after feedback.

She emphasizes lengthy feedback sessions because diagnosis can trigger grief for a younger self, anger about missed support, or fear of “something being wrong.”

RSD can make everyday ambiguity feel like rejection and trigger spirals.

Patients describe minor comments or unclear requests as emotionally overwhelming, leading to intense rumination, fear of doing/saying the “wrong” thing, and chronic exhaustion.

People-pleasing can hide symptoms, but skilled assessment can still uncover them.

She uses a “settling in” period and everyday storytelling (e.g., how the morning went) to surface functional impairments without pressuring the person to perform.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

And then if you go and you're paying for something at the shop and you forgot your wallet, you just think you're stupid.

— Danielle Mulligan

I was absolutely mortified 'cause I felt it was my fault, and it wasn't my fault.

— Danielle Mulligan

I knew I wasn't stupid.

— Danielle Mulligan

That is life for them.

— Danielle Mulligan

Because when it's going well, it's beautiful. When it's not going so well, it's hard to get back beautiful again.

— Danielle Mulligan

Masking and feeling “unlovable”Self-esteem damage from lifelong micro-criticismsDiagnosis emotions: relief, grief, anger, disappointmentRSD and anxiety-like presentationsPeople-pleasing and assessment dynamicsFemale ADHD, misdiagnosis, and burnoutEarly diagnosis and equitable access to assessment

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