The 4 Types Of Autistic Masking (97% of People Only Know The 1st Type)

Do you want to know what autistic masking actually feels like from the inside? Dr Carly Jones MBE is one of the world’s leading autistic advocates. Diagnosed as autistic in adulthood after both of her daughters were diagnosed, she has spent nearly two decades improving the lives of autistic people through policy, education and lived experience. In this episode, Carly explains what masking actually feels like from the inside, why so many autistic people learn to hide who they are from childhood, and the emotional cost of spending years pretending to be someone else. Together, we explore people pleasing, self-abandonment, loneliness, burnout, and the difficult journey of discovering who you really are after decades of masking. Chapters: 00:00 Trailer 01:56 The Mask You Didn't Know You Were Wearing 09:31 Is Your Brain Protecting You Without You Knowing? 11:42 The Childhood Moment You Learn It's Safer Not To Be Yourself 14:50 What Rejection Does To The Autistic Brain 18:23 Mask #1 22:25 The Day You Stopped Showing What You Loved 27:01 Mask #2 30:19 When People Pleasing Stops Being Kindness And Becomes Survival 34:25 The Moment You Start Abandoning Yourself 37:29 Tiimo advert 38:48 Mask #3 41:39 What If You're So Good At Reading People... You Forget Who You Are? 43:34 Mask #4 46:43 How People Can Think You're Fine While You're Falling Apart 48:28 The Loneliness Nobody Talks About In Autism 51:07 The Warning Signs Your Mask Is About To Break 57:49 How To Start Taking The Mask Off (Without Losing Yourself) 01:01:19 Why Letting Go Of The Mask Feels So Terrifying 01:08:37 How To Know What's Really You... And What's Just Survival 01:11:47 The Lie Neurodivergent People Blame Themselves For 01:16:27 "I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore." 01:18:50 A Letter To My Younger Self Visit Carly’s website 👉 https://drcarlyjonesmbe.uk Find Carly on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/drcarlyjonesmbe/ Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter Buy Alex's Sunday Times Best-selling book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817 Buy Alex's No.1 Sunday Times Best-selling book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e Producer: Timon Woodward Recorded by: Hamlin Studios Trailer editor: Ryan Faber DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Alex PartridgehostDr. Carly Jonesguest

Jul 27, 20261h 20mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: July 27, 2026
Duration: 1h 20m
Channel: ADHD Chatter Podcast
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Do you want to know what autistic masking actually feels like from the inside? Dr Carly Jones MBE is one of the world’s leading autistic advocates. Diagnosed as autistic in adulthood after both of her daughters were diagnosed, she has spent nearly two decades improving the lives of autistic people through policy, education and lived experience. In this episode, Carly explains what masking actually feels like from the inside, why so many autistic people learn to hide who they are from childhood, and the emotional cost of spending years pretending to be someone else. Together, we explore people pleasing, self-abandonment, loneliness, burnout, and the difficult journey of discovering who you really are after decades of masking. Chapters: 00:00 Trailer 01:56 The Mask You Didn't Know You Were Wearing 09:31 Is Your Brain Protecting You Without You Knowing? 11:42 The Childhood Moment You Learn It's Safer Not To Be Yourself 14:50 What Rejection Does To The Autistic Brain 18:23 Mask #1 22:25 The Day You Stopped Showing What You Loved 27:01 Mask #2 30:19 When People Pleasing Stops Being Kindness And Becomes Survival 34:25 The Moment You Start Abandoning Yourself 37:29 Tiimo advert 38:48 Mask #3 41:39 What If You're So Good At Reading People... You Forget Who You Are? 43:34 Mask #4 46:43 How People Can Think You're Fine While You're Falling Apart 48:28 The Loneliness Nobody Talks About In Autism 51:07 The Warning Signs Your Mask Is About To Break 57:49 How To Start Taking The Mask Off (Without Losing Yourself) 01:01:19 Why Letting Go Of The Mask Feels So Terrifying 01:08:37 How To Know What's Really You... And What's Just Survival 01:11:47 The Lie Neurodivergent People Blame Themselves For 01:16:27 "I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore." 01:18:50 A Letter To My Younger Self Visit Carly’s website 👉 https://drcarlyjonesmbe.uk Find Carly on Instagram 👉 https://www.instagram.com/drcarlyjonesmbe/ Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter Buy Alex's Sunday Times Best-selling book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817 Buy Alex's No.1 Sunday Times Best-selling book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e Producer: Timon Woodward Recorded by: Hamlin Studios Trailer editor: Ryan Faber DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

SPEAKERS

Alex Partridge
host
Host of the podcast/channel ADHD Chatter with Alex Partridge.
Dr. Carly Jones
guest
Clinician and autism/ADHD specialist who discusses autistic masking, unmasking, and related mental health impacts.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of ADHD Chatter Podcast, featuring Alex Partridge and Dr. Carly Jones, The 4 Types Of Autistic Masking (97% of People Only Know The 1st Type) explores four masking modes explain burnout, loneliness, and rediscovering identity safely Masking is framed as a survival strategy (not deception) that often starts in early childhood through repeated social corrections and misunderstandings.

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