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ADHD Chatter PodcastThe Man Who Drank A Litre Of Vodka Every Day: "How I Stopped Drinking!" - Sober Dave
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Early Years: Parental Split and the First Drink
Alex asks whether there were early clues to Dave's later drinking. Dave describes a closeted childhood, his mum leaving when he was around 13, bullying at a new school, and a first proper drink at 14 that gave him confidence and a place in a group.
- •Parents did not drink heavily; no learned behaviour at home
- •Moved area, felt isolated, and was bullied at a new school
- •Mum left by letter and his dad soon met someone else
- •First proper drink at about 14 gave confidence and acceptance
- •Alcohol quickly became a way to block out emotions
Rejection, Acceptance and Alcohol as a Coping Tool
Alex asks about reaction to rejection. Dave explains the money worries and lack of affection at home, how being accepted by the lads made him grow up fast, and how alcohol stunted his emotional growth and lured him in.
- •Family had little money, and his parents never voiced affection or pride
- •Felt rejected by both his mum leaving and his dad's new partner
- •Alcohol stunted his emotional growth for four decades
- •Dave describes alcohol as crafty and devious, with a voice that lures you back
From the Pub to Drinking Alone: The Road to a Litre of Vodka
Dave describes his teens and 20s, the pub nickname Glugs at 28, and the comment that worried people. He then moved to drinking indoors, isolated himself at 40, and switched to vodka for the calories, reaching a litre a night.
- •Nicknamed Glugs for drinking beer quickly out of nerves
- •A comment about his drinking led him to drink at home instead
- •Moved from cans of Diamond White to wine, then vodka
- •Chose vodka after googling the lowest-calorie alcohol
- •Held down his own business while drinking a litre a night
What Was He Escaping? Self-Loathing and Hopelessness
Alex asks what Dave was trying to escape. Dave cites low self-esteem, failed relationships and poor business decisions, and describes a hamster wheel where stopping felt too miserable to consider.
- •Dysfunctional relationship with alcohol from the beginning
- •Lost money by skipping quotes and work to drink
- •Hated who he had become, going from a footballer to an overweight man at home
- •Sometimes did not care whether a drink might be the last
Functioning Alcoholic: Hangovers, Shakes and the Quiet Radio
Alex asks about waking up after sessions and whether the shakes drove his drinking. Dave describes working through a day while drunk, never really coming down, and drinking mainly to turn down an overthinking mind. He also admits part of him did not want to give up.
- •Never really got hangovers because alcohol was constantly in his system
- •Never drank to stop the shakes; the drive was emotional
- •Likened his head to a loud radio that vodka turned down to zero
- •Part of him did not want to give up because it did its job
Rock Bottoms: Eastbourne and Suicidal Moments
Alex asks about rock bottom. Dave recounts four days drinking and sleeping rough in Eastbourne, plus a night when he searched for paracetamol, and says he had many rock bottoms before he was ready to stop. He explains why he goes back to those places to stay grounded.
- •Eastbourne: drove there, drank for 10 hours, and slept on the beach
- •Was on four medications and weighed 20 stone
- •Estimates 10 to 20 rock bottoms and a night searching for paracetamol
- •Alex shares a similar experience in his hometown of Eastbourne
- •Dave revisits those places to stay grounded and help others
The Catalyst: A Friend's Text on 7 January 2019
Alex asks what started Dave's sobriety. Dave describes a bad Christmas photo, a friend's text inviting him to take a three-month break, and the moment he decided to do it. He explains the idea of spontaneous sobriety and why it was not as simple as it looked.
- •A friend predicted he was on the cusp of something
- •A photo of himself over Christmas 2018 shocked him
- •Friend's text framed it as a three-month experiment, not an order to stop
- •Visualising himself sober for three months planted a seed
- •He had been telling himself he had to do something, which prepared him
Finding Community: AA, Sober Events, Podcast and Book
Dave explains that AA did not suit him, then describes attending a sober event in Dalston. He tells how this led to a growing Instagram account, cycling events, a chart-topping podcast, a book and training as a gray area drinking coach.
- •Tried AA but disliked the repeated 'I'm an alcoholic' label
- •Called his approach recovery as discovery
- •Attending a sober event in Dalston made him feel accepted
- •Cycling events and community events built momentum
- •Started a podcast that reached number two in the Apple charts, then wrote a book and became a gray area drinking coach
Coaching Insights: Gray Area Drinking, Romanticizing and Moderation Myths
Alex asks what questions clients bring. Dave covers relationships, socialising and holidays, the advice to try a 30-day break, how people romanticize alcohol, and his claim that most people with a drinking issue cannot moderate.
- •Common questions concern partners, socialising and holidays
- •Suggests a 30-day break to explore these questions
- •Romanticizing alcohol appears after a few days off
- •Claims 95% of people with a drinking issue cannot moderate
- •Education, community and finding what works for you matter
Impact on Others, Regret and Rebuilding Health
Alex asks whether harm to loved ones can motivate stopping. Dave shares a woman's story of losing her husband to liver failure and advises being the example of who you are now. He criticises alcohol marketing and describes coming off four medications.
- •Dave once felt he was a burden to others
- •A widow he met lost her husband at 41 to liver failure
- •Regret can be handled by apologising, repairing or moving on
- •Alcohol advertising is everywhere and he calls it the only drug you must justify not taking
- •Now off antidepressants and other medications, with improved health
Happiness, Freedom and Life After Drinking
Alex asks whether Dave is happier than ever. Dave describes inner contentment, therapy and self-development, likens alcohol to poison ivy, and says his life has grown from small to adventurous, with mountain climbs and a Nepal trip planned.
- •Happiness means inner contentment, not external trappings
- •Therapy and sitting with his feelings helped him
- •Alcohol compared to poison ivy wrapping around you
- •Climbed Mount Toubkal and is planning the Annapurna Circuit
- •Describes drinking as his prison and 7 January 2019 as finding the key
ADHD, Dopamine and the Link With Drinking
Alex asks if Dave might have ADHD. Dave says he has not been tested but had a genetic test showing a faulty dopamine receptor and other deficiencies. They discuss impulsivity, overthinking, binge drinking and the apparent link between ADHD and problematic drinking.
- •Dave has not been tested for ADHD but several friends with alcohol issues have
- •Genetic test showed a faulty dopamine receptor and low serotonin
- •Impulsivity and all-or-nothing behaviour linked to his drinking
- •Overthinking can ramp up after stopping, so he uses mindfulness and supplements
- •Both see a trend between ADHD and problematic drinking
Reading, Focus and Closing Thoughts
Dave and Alex compare struggles with reading and focus, with Alex preferring audio while running and Dave mentioning Stolen Focus. Dave closes by saying it is about how drinking makes you feel, not how much you drink, and points listeners to his Instagram.
- •Both struggle to read more than a few paragraphs
- •Alex consumes audio content while running
- •Dave plans an audiobook and mentions Stolen Focus
- •Dave says the issue is how drinking makes you feel, not how much
- •Find Dave on Instagram @soberdave
