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BigDeal by Codie Sanchez

How to Speak with the Richest 1%

My new book Own Or Be Owned is out now! I wrote Own or Be Owned to answer one question: how do you make more money, less miserably?

Codie Sanchezhost

Jul 6, 202619mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Why the 1% get ahead by being “the dumbest first”
Codie Sanchez argues that people don’t reach the top by being the smartest in the room, but by getting around more successful people and learning from them. She previews a framework for breaking into wealthy circles and spotting whether you’re truly progressing or staying stuck.
- •Claims the fastest way to level up is getting around richer, more successful people and learning from them
- •Frames this as “stealing their 10,000 hours” by proximity and observation
- •Sets up the episode’s goals: how people break into the 1%, why many stay stuck, and a fast diagnostic question
Respect their time: why “broke networking” stops working with successful people
Codie explains that common networking advice works when you have no leverage, but backfires with high-achievers who are constantly approached for favors. She positions respect for time as the first requirement for getting invited into higher-level rooms.
- •Says early-stage networking works by meeting everyone and showing up because showing up is the leverage
- •Argues that once someone has status or resources, constant asks become relationship-ending
- •Explains successful people avoid requests because “everybody wants a slice”
- •Suggests standing out by not behaving like someone trying to extract value
Relationship capital math: deposits minus withdrawals
Codie introduces a simple mental model for relationships: the value you deposit minus the favors you withdraw equals your relationship balance. She emphasizes that many people go negative immediately and then wonder why follow-ups don’t get answered.
- •Defines relationship balance as deposits (value given) minus withdrawals (favors asked)
- •Frames “pick your brain,” “quick ask,” and intro requests as withdrawals
- •Warns that asking without having deposited value puts you “overdrawn”
- •Links a negative balance to people not responding the second time
Double opt-in or die: never introduce people without permission
Codie shares a story about learning that unrequested introductions can damage trust because they spend someone else’s time and reputation. She lays out a hard rule: always get permission from both sides before connecting people, especially as stakes rise.
- •Explains how a blind intro puts the recipient “on the hook” for expectations they didn’t agree to
- •Says unasked intros can be perceived as spending someone’s reputation to look generous
- •States a strict principle: never make an introduction without permission
- •Notes intros feel “free” early but become expensive later because time is scarce
How “respect” gets you re-invited into big rooms
Codie describes observing high-status environments where people try to grab attention and favors, and contrasts that with a more effective posture. She argues that demonstrating respect—especially restraint—helps you get invited back.
- •Describes seeing people crowd and grasp for favors and attention in elite settings
- •Says she deliberately “sat back” because respect earns long-term access
- •Frames respect as the core behavior that keeps doors open
- •Connects respect to being welcomed into rooms you “shouldn’t be in”
Earn trust on the worst day, not the best day
Codie argues that trust and loyalty are forged during crises, not during wins when everyone shows up. She recommends showing support during hard moments without quickly turning it into a transaction.
- •Contrasts attention during wins with silence during lawsuits, press cycles, or public deal blowups
- •Says powerful people remember who showed up when things were “on fire”
- •Recommends offering support during someone’s hard time and then disappearing—no immediate ask
- •Frames loyalty as showing up during loss and not cashing in right after
Small gestures that create permanent trust
Codie shares two personal examples where simple messages during difficult times created lasting bonds. She highlights that sincerity without an angle stands out when most people go quiet or become transactional.
- •Describes reaching out to Jay Shetty during a difficult week and offering public support
- •Says that message became a basis for their friendship over time
- •Shares a moment when she was publicly criticized and someone sent “I got you” with no follow-up ask
- •Says she will pick up immediately for that person because trust was earned without leverage
Ask for truth: success breeds agreement and sycophancy
Codie explains that as people gain power and wealth, it becomes harder to receive honest feedback. She describes how agreement can replace truth, and how leaders can unintentionally create rooms full of mirrors.
- •Cites research she describes about feeling powerful reducing understanding of others
- •Says wealth and status reduce the willingness of others to say no
- •Describes laughter, faster agreement, and less critique as power increases
- •Explains her tactic: ask “Tell me why this is wrong” and reward real pushback
The Emperor Maximilian example: secrecy, flattery, and reversals
Codie recounts Machiavelli’s critique of Emperor Maximilian as a leader who became unreliable due to paranoia, secrecy, and craving approval. She uses the story to show how truth gets squeezed out and decisions lose credibility.
- •Describes Maximilian keeping plans secret until execution, preventing advisors from helping in time
- •Says pushback led him to cave and reverse decisions quickly
- •Notes Machiavelli’s verdict: people couldn’t rely on decisions lasting to tomorrow
- •Argues courts fill with flatterers because truth feels dangerous to deliver
Engineer truth channels: a few trusted voices and a consistent decision process
Codie outlines a practical fix: explicitly authorize a small group of wise people to tell you the truth on key topics, listen carefully, then commit once a decision is made. She also explains how to spot leaders trapped by sycophants—and how to become the rare counterpoint they need.
- •Recommends selecting a small set of people with explicit permission to be candid
- •Says truth shouldn’t come from everyone, but from designed channels where honesty is safe
- •Describes signs of leaders surrounded by yes-people: no pushback, distorted sense of normal costs/time, treating disagreement as disloyalty
- •Suggests staying connected to normal life and keeping friends who will call out bad behavior
Live in reality: the ‘stack of compounding lies’ inside organizations
Codie argues that as companies grow, truth gets diluted as information passes through layers. She explains the “Mum Effect” and why leaders must ask sharper questions to uncover what’s missing in seemingly accurate reports.
- •Defines a CEO’s job as uncovering a “stack of compounding lies” created by human smoothing, not villainy
- •Explains the Mum Effect: people soften, delay, or omit bad news
- •Shows how each layer reduces reality, leading to distorted executive-level understanding
- •Gives an example: celebrating higher attendance without acknowledging increased spend that changes the real story
Questions that surface the real story (and how her team learns to report truth)
Codie explains how she changed her own questions to make it safer and more likely for teams to share uncomfortable facts. She emphasizes that leaders shouldn’t hunt for liars, but should create conditions where the unpolished truth can be delivered early.
- •Suggests replacing “How’d you do?” with “What’s missing?” and “What did this cost us to get this result?”
- •Encourages asking directly what people aren’t telling you because they think you won’t like it
- •Shares an example of correcting a producer’s focus from making her happy to evaluating whether the work is actually good or great
- •Describes how flattering, technically-true reports can paint a company picture that doesn’t exist
Sponsor and tool mention: Pulse for real-time numbers vs projections
Codie briefly describes a product she built called Pulse, positioned as a way for business owners to see numbers in real time against projections and peers, with access to advisors through her boardroom. This appears inside a sponsor segment and is presented as an option for those who want tighter visibility.
- •Mentions building Pulse so business owners can see real-time numbers vs projections
- •Says it compares actual performance and peer group benchmarks
- •Notes the boardroom includes advisors who give advice based on progress
- •References a link below for those who want to learn more
Eyes on the ground: Sun Tzu’s ‘foreknowledge’ and the ‘eyes to eyes’ practice
Codie uses Sun Tzu’s chapter on spies to argue that real knowledge comes from people who’ve seen reality firsthand, not filtered reports. She translates that into modern leadership: go directly to customers and frontline teams because written updates get ignored and polished.
- •Quotes the idea that winning comes from foreknowledge—knowing what’s happening before you move
- •Says knowledge doesn’t come from reasoning in isolation; it comes from people who saw the ground
- •Argues reports are smoothed as they move upward, turning failure into euphemisms
- •Pushes “eyes to eyes”: call customers, talk to coworkers, sit with support, walk the floor, create an unfiltered channel
Become hard to replace + the REAL recap (Respect, Earn, Ask, Live)
Codie explains how employees can stand out by bringing problems early alongside proposed fixes, rather than hiding issues to keep things smooth. She closes by recapping the REAL framework and tying it back to gaining access to top performers and staying invited.
- •Says promotable employees bring issues early and bring an idea for the fix, not just the alarm
- •Argues success doesn’t make people worse; it makes truth harder to access
- •Encourages building systems that keep leaders honest
- •Recaps REAL: respect time, earn trust, ask for truth, live in reality—and says this increases re-invites and reduces CEO misery

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