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The Calum Johnson Show

How A 25 Year Old DAD Built A $3.2M Business After A TOXIC Breakup! | Dontez Akram

Timestamps 2:20: How your environment can KILL your dreams. About the episode. 3 years ago, @_therealtez was in a toxic relationship. He was comfortable and his life was stagnating. Coming out of that breakup, he changed everything.

Dontez AkramguestCalum Johnsonhost

Mar 4, 20241h 30mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

The Tweet and Leaving a Toxic Relationship
Calum reads Dontez's August 2021 tweet about the changes that followed leaving a toxic relationship. Dontez explains that he didn't see the relationship as toxic until he was out of it, and that he cut out alcohol, weed and going out to be alone and focus.
- •The tweet lists a first apartment, a new car, over $300K made and 30,000 new followers within seven months
- •Dontez says he didn't realize he had an anchor on his ankle while in the relationship
- •His partner couldn't fathom the dreams and goals he had set
- •He felt a soul tie and had to learn to be alone
- •He quit alcohol and weed, started the gym and healthier eating, and found he could get a lot done without a focus on pleasure
Environment, Natural Talent and Catching Up
Calum reflects on how the people around us shape our outcomes and how hard it is to detect a wrong environment. He ties it to Jay-Z's Grammys speech and a Kobe story about catching up to naturally talented people through work.
- •Circle and environment strongly guide whether a vision is achieved
- •A wrong situation can be hard to detect or feel
- •Calum cites Jay-Z's message to keep showing up
- •Calum recounts Kobe saying he was fast but not the fastest, tall but not the tallest
- •Work ethic lets you close the distance on naturally talented people
Comfort, Illusions and Rock Bottom
Dontez describes how comfort in the relationship made the dream fade into an illusion. He recalls sleeping on the floor, working at a factory and catching mice, which pushed him to go into sales.
- •Comfort in a relationship can make you forget your original dream
- •He slept on the floor with his partner and a six-month-old baby after being kicked out of his mom's house
- •He woke at 6 AM for factory work and played Call of Duty to drown out his hatred of it
- •He decided to get a sales job, wear suits and change how he talked
- •He questioned why he worried about $19.55 when he should have $100,000 in the bank
Extreme Honesty and Taking Accountability
Calum brings up Feynman's idea that you're the easiest person to fool and asks what drove Dontez to radical honesty. Dontez says everything in his life has been his fault, that he chooses the hard route because it pays off, and that fear keeps people comfortable.
- •Calum cites Feynman: the key is not to be a fool, and you're the easiest person to fool
- •Dontez blames himself for everything he has achieved or lost
- •People tend to choose the easiest option, while the hard route has paid off for him
- •Fear and the need for certainty stop people taking risks
- •Delaying the first step delays the life you want
Day One: Grief, Forgiveness and Letting the Vision Die
Asked about the first step after the breakup, Dontez says he had to forgive himself and cried for the first week. He talks about his grandfather's long marriage as the ideal he wanted, and Calum describes letting that vision die so your own story can be written.
- •Dontez had to relearn himself because the relationship was part of his identity
- •He cried in the first week and describes it as the pain of love
- •He wanted a marriage like his grandparents' 60-plus-year marriage
- •He felt he owed it to himself, his children and his last name to chase his dreams
- •Calum says you may have to let an ideal vision die for your own story to be written
Wavering, Cutting Ties and Building True Confidence
Dontez says that after reaching his first $100K he considered rekindling the relationship but realized money can't fix a person or make them compatible. The conversation turns to making wrong decisions and building true confidence through proof, with Calum quoting Alex Hormozi.
- •After his first $100K liquid he thought about rekindling, but money can't fix a person
- •He asks whether his future self will be okay with the decision made today
- •He tells a mentee that you make wrong decisions so you learn what right ones look like
- •Calum distinguishes true confidence from bravado
- •Calum quotes Hormozi on building a stack of undeniable proof
Cashflow vs Lifestyle: The $200K Spending Spree
Dontez recounts spending almost $200K on jewelry and a car at the end of 2022 and rarely wearing the chain since. He says he now focuses on cashflow, arguing you don't need to be a millionaire to fund your lifestyle.
- •He paid a car off in cash and bought a chain, a watch and luggage
- •The jewelry were 'hood trophies' and the satisfaction faded quickly
- •He has worn the chain maybe 15 times
- •His focus now is bringing in 100K every month profitably
- •A certain level of cashflow can fund the lifestyle without being a millionaire
Daily Habits, Reading and Just Starting
Asked about inflection points and what he does day to day, Dontez says he built a vehicle that fits him. He describes daily gym, deep work and reading, avoiding analysis paralysis, and breaking through the door of fear, while Calum uses an elevator analogy for momentum.
- •Dontez says you must know yourself first so you can build a vehicle that fits you
- •The gym is mandatory because his mental strength is needed for business
- •Reading and gathering information helps avoid costly mistakes
- •Avoid analysis paralysis and just start
- •Calum says you can't skip floors in the elevator and may have to spend time on floor one
75 Hard: Discipline and the 0.001%
Calum explains the five daily tasks of 75 Hard and asks why it has been transformational for Dontez. Dontez describes his added rules, gamifying challenges to join the 0.001%, and doing it the first time with his girlfriend after a spit-in-hand handshake.
- •The five tasks are no alcohol or cheat meals, two 45-minute workouts, a gallon of water, 10 pages of reading, and a daily progress picture
- •Dontez adds a 6 AM wake-up and no social media for the first and last hour of the day
- •He says 85% of people who start fail in the first five days
- •Progress pictures show physical and mental change
- •He started the second round after mid-January rather than waiting for the new year
Perspective, Taxes and Shifting Concerns
Dontez reflects on how problems evolve, from not eating lunch to paying six figures in taxes. He says to keep breathing and not rush, and Calum notes how our circle of concerns changes as we grow.
- •Every solved problem is replaced by a bigger one
- •Dontez says he'd rather have the tax problem than have no money
- •At 25 he hasn't reached the success he wants but is still breathing and keeps going
- •Likes and comments matter less than family and a roof
- •Calum says our circle of concerns evolves with our position
Finding Your Unique Skill in Ads and Marketing
Calum asks how Dontez honed his skill in ads and marketing. Dontez says running ads is easier than making content that makes sense, that your unique voice is the asset, and that his first viral post, an ad with his daughter that generated money, gave him clarity.
- •Dontez says the hard part is the content, not running the ads
- •Your unique voice and way of articulating can't be copied
- •Calum notes that what comes easy to you is hard to recognize as a skill
- •His viral post with his daughter that made money was the first flicker of light
- •He poured more money into what worked and learned from what lost money
Case Study: Running Ads for His Girlfriend's Lash Business
Calum reads a tweet about his girlfriend spending $700 on ads, closing eight people and making $5,700. Dontez walks through shooting organic creatives, DM ads, qualifying and book calls, and working backward from a revenue goal, while both stress that you needn't be a master to teach.
- •She spent $700 on ads, closed eight people and made $5,700 for an in-person lash class
- •They shot seven to 10 unscripted creatives
- •People message a word, get qualified and book a call, then she closes them at $799, later $999
- •Goals are worked backward from close rate and number of book calls
- •You only need to be one step ahead of someone to teach them
From 'Love Is a Distraction' to Partner as Asset
Calum contrasts Dontez's old tweet that girls and love are a distraction with his recent tweet praising his girlfriend. Dontez says environment changed his view, and describes her praying over him when he was crying from business stress.
- •Moving to Atlanta and being around married friends shifted his view
- •His girlfriend prayed over him when he was crying about business stress
- •He calls a good woman the best investment you can make
- •He says he used to be 'dealing with women' amid drama
- •Calum notes the culture's addiction to toxicity
Attracting a Partner Who Supports Your Vision
Calum asks how to put yourself in position for a supportive partner. Dontez says to focus on attracting rather than searching, to show up through effort, small gestures and fitness, and to learn to communicate your feelings.
- •Attract rather than chase, as with money
- •Going to the gym and small gestures make you more attractive than playing 2K all day
- •Dontez says a relationship is a waste if you can't communicate how you feel
- •Dontez argues that a woman follows a man's lead only if his vision is desirable
- •Calum clarifies that attracting doesn't mean doing nothing
Filtering Options and Knowing When to Commit
Calum asks how Dontez sorted through increased attention after his success. Dontez says communication, character, energy and peace set his girlfriend apart, and that he's tired of relearning people. He says he knew when he met her that he was ready to let the old mindset go, and wants marriage and no more children out of wedlock.
- •Success brings attention from both toxic and great women
- •Her ability to communicate what she wanted and her weaknesses stood out
- •Dontez says he is tired of relearning people and shallow conversations
- •He asks whether a partner brings him peace
- •He wants to marry and says having children outside marriage was his biggest mistake
Accountability, Music and Closing Gratitude
Calum praises Dontez's self-accountability and asks about a song that sums up meeting his girlfriend. Dontez mentions a Drake album, says he's grateful to have found peace, and both thank the audience and reflect on the first episode's success.
- •Calum says many people are accountable to others rather than themselves
- •Calum says your own voice has to be the loudest
- •Dontez can't recall a specific song but a new Drake album came out at that time
- •Dontez is grateful that his girlfriend is his peace
- •Both say the first episode resonated because it was authentic

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