How A 25 Year Old DAD Built A $3.2M Business After A TOXIC Breakup! | Dontez Akram

Dontez Akram 0:00 Can I bring 100K every single month without missing a month profitably, without driving myself crazy? You can buy whatever toy you want. I think people think that they have to become millionaires to live the lifestyle that you want. No, you just need a certain level of cashflow that can fund the lifestyle that you want. I am a big believer in your ability to attract the things that you want in life. I don't chase money. Money comes to me. And I think that when it comes to women, I think that a part of you has to be realistic as a man. Do you really think this girl that you are probably in love with wants to sit here and watch you play 2K all day? Probably not. She would probably be more attracted to you if you were going to the gym.

Calum Johnson 0:43 Okay, we just finished recording with Dontez Akram. It was the part two, the sequel to what we did in New York obviously a few months ago. And just one thing I wanted to share with you all, which is the episode actually starts, it starts with this transformative moment, which is three years ago when Tez left this toxic relationship. And I was even saying to him in the episode is that he was kind of going like this, and then it just, it just went crazy, and he achieved all of these things after leaving the relationship. And I think what it shows is that tough moments create tough people. They create resilient people. And so really what you're gonna learn in this episode is how to take dark moments, how to take moments where you didn't even believe that it would happen in the way that it did, and how to turn them into your greatest life successes. And we take it into so much detail, and Tez even talks about one moment, that moment of seeing $100,000 liquid in his account for the first time. So without further ado, let's get into the episode. Before we do, though, just one huge favor, which is to subscribe to this channel. We've been on this crazy trajectory, this crazy journey, and here's the agreement that I'm gonna make with you. If you subscribe to this channel, I'm gonna take this to a whole different level. Scale the guests, scale the production, scale everything that we're doing. And without further ado, let's get into the episode. August

Calum Johnson 2:20 11th, 2021, you put out this tweet. I'm gonna read it to you, and I want your reaction.

Dontez Akram 2:25 All right.

Calum Johnson 2:25 Okay, you said, "Seven months ago, I left a very toxic relationship. In my seven months of healing, I got my first apartment, got a new car, made over $300,000, tripled my net worth, gained 34 pounds, gained over 30,000 new followers, traveled over seven times just this year. Grateful." So here's where I want to start because I always like to get the context.

Dontez Akram 2:52 Mm.

Calum Johnson 2:53 And so I just want you to take me back to that time. Take me back, and coming out of that relationship, and even the context of that relationship, why was that such a transformational period for you?

Dontez Akram 3:07 That's a great question. Um, let me be honest, right? I, I didn't notice that I was in a very toxic relationship until there was times where I was out of it. So what I mean by that is throughout the entirety of that relationship, I didn't realize that I had an anchor on my ankle, and the problem is, is that the dreams and the goals that I had set, my significant other couldn't fathom that. And that's why I feel like there's a big difference between hanging around people who understand your vision and under-- and, and just being around people for the time being. And what I realized is throughout that time period, bro, leaving that relationship allowed me to see that it is possible for me to go out there and achieve the things that I want despite what you think about what you want for yourself. And I think that was a transformational thing for me because before it was always these limiting beliefs on myself. "Oh, I can't do this," or, "I can't do that," or even just reaching 10,000 people on a video or something like that is out and insane or unheard of, or $100,000 in the bank is unheard of, and it's because I was hanging around people who thought like that. So I think with leaving that relationship, I think one of the biggest things for me was I had to upgrade. I always think of myself as a person, if I leave any situation, I have to come out on top at the end, and that's the only thing I thought about. So once I left out of that relationship, I felt like I had a soul tie. Like, I feel like I had got so used to being around somebody or somebody being around me all the time that I didn't know how to be alone anymore.

Calum Johnson 4:40 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 4:40 And that's when I realized I need to be alone. I didn't want to be alone. I needed to be alone. So I put down the alcohol. I put down the weed. I, I stopped going out and kicking it every single week, and I just stopped. I cold turkeyed everything, and I said, "You know what? Over the next six months, I'm gonna just challenge myself." Like, do you really wanna become this version of yourself that you always tell people you wanna be? Do you wanna just keep tweeting it, or do you want to be the person and then tweet different things because the next version of yourself is even better?

Calum Johnson 5:06 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 5:06 And I was like, "You know what? That's what I'm gonna do." So I started going to the gym. I started eating healthier. No more weed, no more alcohol. I didn't feel like I was under a soul tie or anything like that. And you can get a lot of stuff done when your focus isn't on pleasure and desires and lust. You can get a lot of stuff done.

Calum Johnson 5:21 Mm. You know one of the things, and it's almost like... It's almost scary to think about because our circle, the people that are around us-

Dontez Akram 5:31 Mm

Calum Johnson 5:31 ... have such an incredible impact on how we live our life.

Dontez Akram 5:34 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 5:35 And even when, you know, we put out a vision or we put out that we want to achieve a certain thing-

Dontez Akram 5:41 Mm

Calum Johnson 5:41 ... so much of us achieving that outcome is gonna be guided by who's around us.

Dontez Akram 5:45 Yes.

Calum Johnson 5:45 What's the environment around us? No matter how special or how talented you are-

Dontez Akram 5:50 Mm

Calum Johnson 5:50 ... it's just the case. And I think when you're in the wrong situation, sometimes it's so hard to even detect it-

Dontez Akram 5:58 Yeah

Calum Johnson 5:58 ... to even feel it, to even have any awareness of the fact that you're in the wrong situation-

Dontez Akram 6:02 Mm

Calum Johnson 6:02 ... the wrong environment

Dontez Akram 6:05 2indu 朋 разве 牧 eed vegansjuangбуюjóಾಯ

Dontez Akram 12:04 vegetal I'm not that good at it as, as everybody else and things, but that's perfectly fine because I'm the best me. I'm the only me.

Calum Johnson 12:12 Mm.

Dontez Akram 12:13 And I just take that on.

Calum Johnson 12:14 Yeah, 100%. No, that's cool as well, 'cause I remember, um [lips smack] and it's relevant because I just heard, uh, Jay-Z's speech at the Grammys.

Dontez Akram 12:21 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 12:22 And he was talking about just keep showing up, just keep showing up, keep showing up. And it, even the story that yous- told me, it reminds me of something I heard from Kobe.

Dontez Akram 12:30 Mm.

Calum Johnson 12:31 Um, and he was talking about playing basketball in Italy and, like, growing up, and he was, like, kind of a small, like, weedy kid at the time.

Dontez Akram 12:37 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 12:38 And he even said, he was like, "I was fast, but I wasn't the fastest."

Dontez Akram 12:42 Mm.

Calum Johnson 12:42 "I was agile, but I wasn't the most agile. I was kinda tall, but I wasn't the tallest." But he just saw that gradually as he kept putting in the work, like, summer after summer. And I think that was, that was, like, his time, like, the summers-

Dontez Akram 12:56 Yeah

Calum Johnson 12:56 ... like, after school, was, like, when he really just practiced his craft.

Dontez Akram 13:00 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 13:00 And it's actually a beautiful thing, and I've seen it in my own life, where, like, it's like you can just feel yourself catching up.

Dontez Akram 13:06 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 13:06 Like, the people that have the natural talent, they're just ahead of you.

Dontez Akram 13:10 Mm.

Calum Johnson 13:10 But they don't, they don't have the... Their work ethic isn't tested yet.

Dontez Akram 13:13 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 13:14 And so-

Dontez Akram 13:15 Mm-hmm

Calum Johnson 13:15 ... you've got the work ethic and then slowly you're just catching up, just closing distance, closing distance. And it's actually a really exciting, it's an exciting process to be a part of, just to feel that.

Dontez Akram 13:25 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 13:25 Like, I'm getting closer. You know what? I wanna bring it back to, I wanna bring it back to the relationship because I think so often, and I think this is the reason why it's hard to, it's hard to detect when you're in the wrong situation.

Dontez Akram 13:40 Mm.

Calum Johnson 13:40 That it's not, a lot of the times, one big thing that happens.

Dontez Akram 13:44 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 13:45 It's like you're getting slowly, like, paper cutted almost.

Dontez Akram 13:47 [laughs] Yeah.

Calum Johnson 13:48 Like, just paper cutted to death.

Dontez Akram 13:50 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 13:50 Um, and you even alluded to it, like, drinking, smoking. Um, talk about, like, what your life even looked like during that relationship. [page flips] Okay, quick break. One of the stories that I see time and time again in the comments section of every video are people that want to start an online business, but don't know where to start. And so I wanted to correct that with the sponsor of today's show, the Ecom Degree University. This is an online digital platform that gives you all of the information, the game, and the community that you need to start an online drop shipping business on Amazon starting with just a few hundred dollars. The thing that stood out to me is how deep the research and the information on there goes. And here's the thing that really stood out as well. The sheer volume of positive testimonials of people that have gotten started, and even sometimes within 30 days. And here is the best part. When you go to the link in the description, you will get access to a free live webinar where Will Rivera, the founder of Ecom Degree University, an entrepreneur that has made millions and millions of dollars, will be breaking down all of the game that you need to get started. So go to the link in the description, sign up to the webinar, and without further ado, onto the show. [page flips]

Dontez Akram 15:17 Very comfortable.

Calum Johnson 15:19 Mm.

Dontez Akram 15:20 And not comfortable in a positive way. You see, I think that what happens is, is when you're comfortable in a relationship, you forget what you were dreaming of in the first place. So now everything becomes an illusion around you, and the dream is gone. So now you're just letting days just go by, every single day the same stuff over and over. And when I was in that relationship, this was right around the prime time of me getting kicked out of my mom's house. So this is when I was sleeping on the floor and, you know, I had to take out the couch cushions and slam them on the floor, and then grab a sheet and then put it over, and then grab my, my girlfriend's, uh, sister's twin size bed and lay it next to it, and, "Now this is our bed." And this is, you know, a six-month-old baby who doesn't understand anything, and then there's her, and then there's me, us sleeping on the floor. And I'm playing Call of Duty every morning, uh, when I get back, or every afternoon when I get back from work. And I'm working, I'm waking up at 6:00 AM just to go to the factory. I'm getting off at 3:00 PM every single day, and I would try to drown out the fact that I just worked all these hours. I would get off and I would take off all my stuff. I would wash up and it would be a ring of dirt in the s- inside of the tub, and then I would have to clean it out and scrub, and I'm just sitting there scrubbing like, "I fucking hate this shit."

Calum Johnson 16:32 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 16:32 But I would go play the game because it would distract me from the hate that I was feeling inside. And it didn't start affecting me too much until, like, when we talked about on the last podcast, like, catching mice. Like, that'll, depending on who you are and what type of environment you're used to growing up in, like, I didn't have to do that when I was growing up as a kid. But turning 18, 19, going, like, you normally think people go up and up and up throughout, through life.

Calum Johnson 16:56 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 16:57 Like, that was a moment where I was, like, going up and then I took a huge step back to a level I've never been at.

Calum Johnson 17:02 Mm.

Dontez Akram 17:03 So I had to relearn how to even live my life because the lens that I'm living it through now is not something I'm accustomed to.

Calum Johnson 17:10 Mm.

Dontez Akram 17:10 So I think for me, that's when things kind of, like, start, I started realizing like, "Whoa," like, "This is not for me. I gotta switch up everything." Like, I can't keep working the same job. I gotta go get a sales job. I gotta start wearing suits. I gotta start switching up how I talk. I gotta make sure I'm smelling good 'cause I don't wanna be the person, the only person inside of the sales, you know, position or sales room-

Calum Johnson 17:30 Mm

Dontez Akram 17:30 ... who doesn't look the part.

Calum Johnson 17:32 Mm.

Dontez Akram 17:32 And I just slowly started changing my mindset from there, but I think that was the key moment of, like, I was comfortable, and I was comfortable eating the canned foods. I was comfortable not eating the stuff that I want or having to penny pinch and buy Subway, or not being able to buy the medicine. I was comfortable with that.

Calum Johnson 17:50 Mm.

Dontez Akram 17:50 And it only until I started questioning what I truly wanted for myself and for my future is when I said, "You know what? I shouldn't have to worry about paying for Subway." Like, why is that even a thing? Why am I tripping about $19.55 when I should have $100,000 in my bank account right now?

Calum Johnson 18:06 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 18:06 Well, what does it look like to get that? Gotta work

Calum Johnson 18:10 Mm-hmm

Dontez Akram 18:10 That's, that's all I knew. I was like, "You know what? I'm gonna go try every sales job position," 'cause I know that my work ethic is crazy. And if it's one thing you can give me that I'll take advantage of is an opportunity.

Calum Johnson 18:21 Mm.

Dontez Akram 18:21 That's all I needed, and that's what I did.

Calum Johnson 18:23 Yeah. You know, one of the things I just, um, and I just love it every time that we speak, is just like you're just honest with yourself.

Dontez Akram 18:32 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 18:32 And there's this, there's this quote that I've always held true, and I even have it in my phone, uh, by this scientist, this physicist, I believe, called Feynman.

Dontez Akram 18:40 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 18:40 And he says, um, "The key, the key is not to f- the key is not to be a fool, and you're the easiest person to fool."

Dontez Akram 18:50 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 18:50 Which is basically what you're saying is, is that we fool ourselves all the time.

Dontez Akram 18:55 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 18:55 We ca- we have a narrative over our own lives.

Dontez Akram 18:58 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 18:58 And so you can be eating food out of the can, but there's an excuse, "Oh, it's 'cause this happened," or, "This person did this," or... There's a rationalization which makes you comfortable in that reality.

Dontez Akram 19:08 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 19:09 And whether it was the, the basketball team when you were in high school,

Calum Johnson 19:15 whether it was that moment when you're sleeping in a mattress on the floor, there was a moment of extreme honesty-

Dontez Akram 19:22 Yeah

Calum Johnson 19:22 ... where it was like, fuck all of the rationalizations, excuses, whatever it is. Like this is just the truth-

Dontez Akram 19:29 Mm

Calum Johnson 19:29 ... and it's on me to do something about it. And so I'm just curious of like, there's a lot of people that just haven't had that moment.

Dontez Akram 19:39 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 19:39 They just haven't had that moment yet. And I'm just curious for you to even just go deeper into what, what drove you to that moment of just extreme honesty, like nothing else, just me?

Dontez Akram 19:55 Hmm. I think it's just an accountability thing, bro. Like I think I've always blamed myself. [laughs] Like at the root of everything in my life, everything I've achieved, everything I've lost, it was always my fault. And I think that I can't credit something that didn't put me in that mindset, because that mindset is the sole mindset of why I am where I am. It was always my fault, 100%. If I'm sleeping on the floor, it's my fault. If I'm not making the money I want, it's my fault. If I'm not as fit as I want, it's my fault. If I'm not in a healthy relationship, it's my fault. Because most of these things come down to your ability to choose things, and I think that when people are presented options, they choose the one that is the easiest for them rather than going with the hard shit. And I just kind of realized throughout the last five, six years of my life, every time I took the h- the hard route, the thing that was the most challenging, it always had the best payoff. So I was like, you know what? Like I'm gonna go do everything that's difficult. Even now, most people wouldn't do 75 Hard again after I completed it. Why wouldn't I, right?

Calum Johnson 21:00 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 21:00 It's like it's, it's difficult, but it's based off of my ability to think about what I want for myself, and I think a lot of people have not had that realization yet because fear is keeping them comfortable. They don't know how to think past the fact that if I risk a dollar today, there's a potential four dollars coming back tomorrow. So without me having the surety or 100% knowing and the confidence of knowing that this is going to be a return, people don't take the risk.

Calum Johnson 21:31 Mm.

Dontez Akram 21:31 And what I f- what I found is that you can let every day go by, and the longer you delay taking that first step, the longer you could've been living the life that you always wanted to live.

Calum Johnson 21:46 Powerful. Powerful. And you know what? And I even read the tweet in the beginning. There's a ... And, and it, it's just, it's beautiful to see this process of like that moment of transformation.

Dontez Akram 21:57 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 21:58 Like it's almost like things are going this way and then it changes, and it seems like that coincided with the, with the ending of that relationship. And you know what? When I even listen to you just now and you say that, I think the first step is actually the most important.

Dontez Akram 22:14 Mm.

Calum Johnson 22:14 It's the most difficult. I remember even Alex Hormozi said this recently, which is that first step in starting that new business or that new relationship or even approaching that girl, I don't know, signing a mortgage on that new house, the first step, that's the one which feels the most scary.

Dontez Akram 22:32 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 22:32 Feels like you're almost like crossing a chasm, like you're jumping off a l- a ledge.

Dontez Akram 22:36 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 22:37 Right? That tweet that I said in the beginning, and all of those changes that came after you left that relationship, do you remember kind of what day one looked like? What was the first step?

Dontez Akram 22:51 Bro, I had to learn how to just forgive myself. That was really hard for me. Um, I think that I was so used to f- uh, use ... I was so used to that relationship being a part of my identity that I forgot what I looked like without it, and relearning yourself throughout that process is a very difficult process. And I think if I'm being honest with y'all, like camera's off and everything like that, like and I don't care if it goes up 'cause this is me being honest and I don't care what anybody else thinks, but I had to cry that first week. Like I had to understand pain because it was pain of love and I, I want you, but you don't want what's best for you, so I can't want you anymore. And it's hard to let go of something that you want because at the time that was the person I had my kid with, and it's like I've always wanted, you know, to be just like my grandfather. My grandfather and my grandmother were married for 60 plus years before he passed, and he had all six of his kids with the same woman, and all of them stayed in the same household. And he went to work every single day, and during the times where he was raising me, 'cause I lived with him a lot of my life too, he would bring home my grandmother Snickers, and that was her favorite thing, just the little small gestures, and I wanted that so bad that I was willing to put myself through pain. I was willing to sit there and know that I'm not gonna re- reach this potential because she doesn't think this far out, and maybe, you know, whatever she thinks now is completely up to her, but at that particular time I knew that I wasn't gonna reach the destination I wanted to with her So it's either you be okay with where you're at or you let go and you go, you know, chase your dreams.

Calum Johnson 24:23 Mm.

Dontez Akram 24:23 And I feel like I have to chase my dreams. Like what I didn't-- I owe it to myself, I owe it to my children, I owe it to my last name. There's nothing that's gonna stop me from getting from what I, what I need to get. I don't care how long it'll take. I'm the type of person to go every single day until I die. I bet you on my deathbed I won't regret anything.

Calum Johnson 24:41 Mm. You know, you know what I think is, uh, difficult and, and it arises in, like, every scenario in life, which is, like, a lot of the time we have this ideal or, like, perfect picture-

Dontez Akram 24:52 Mm

Calum Johnson 24:52 ... of what our life should be, and you spoke about your grandfather.

Dontez Akram 24:56 Mm.

Calum Johnson 24:56 And it's like this is the vision. Like, this is, to me almost, and maybe I'm putting words in your mouth, but you, you let me know. It's like this is, like, the ideal of what a man should be.

Dontez Akram 25:06 Exactly.

Calum Johnson 25:07 Like, he's with one woman, he's committed to this, and it was only this.

Dontez Akram 25:12 Mm.

Calum Johnson 25:12 He had children with this woman. Like, this is perfect, and sometimes it's like it's so hard to accept, and I, and I've had it personally where that's not your story, though.

Dontez Akram 25:23 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 25:23 And it's almost like you have to let that vision die so that your story can be written.

Dontez Akram 25:28 Mm.

Calum Johnson 25:29 And even when you talk about just being incredibly emotional in that first week, that was that process of, like, almost grieving that.

Dontez Akram 25:36 Mm.

Calum Johnson 25:37 That that, that vision of what, what it was meant to be had to die so that you could be what you are now.

Dontez Akram 25:44 Mm.

Calum Johnson 25:45 And, like, even past that, and it's difficult. Like, it's so difficult to do that. And, and so here's what I wanna ask you. Was there a moment of, like, wavering, right? Like, where you, you've made this decision, you've been pulled by what you could be, by your potential, and you've started to go out and do it and do the things. Was there a moment of wavering? And I, and I, and I don't know how that wavering shows up. I don't know if it's, like, a text to your ex-girlfriend. I don't know what it is.

Dontez Akram 26:14 Mm.

Calum Johnson 26:14 But was there a moment of wavering of, like, "I just wanna go back to that comfortable, comfortable life"? [page flips] Quick break. We're really in the era of personal brands. Everyone is kind of a content creator-

Dontez Akram 26:26 Mm

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Dontez Akram 27:43 Um, yeah. I think that I started seeing success quickly, right? In that seven months you can get a lot done, like I said, when you're focused on you and learning yourself. And I think for me personally, I started, you know, when I started accumulating more wealth, I realized how much easier it was for money to come to me when I was by myself. So I thought, "Hey," you know, at this point in time I had my first $100,000 liquid in the account. Couple months later after leaving that relationship, I'm like, "Maybe this can work. I have the money now. Let's try to rekindle and fix everything now." But here's the thing that I've, I've, I've, I've learned. Money cannot fix a person at all. It can't fix a person and, and make th- and help them think that, "Hey, this dream can come true," or, "Hey, I do need to start doing this about myself." That's something that they have ... Like, that journey they have to take on their own. And even with money, it still didn't solve the root of who you are. We just aren't compatible. What I dream and what I see and, and the way I imagine, the way I envision stuff, and the way I can close my eyes and, and vividly see something and then feel that it's tangible and then go fucking get it, that is something that is, that, that you just didn't have at that point in time, and I cannot jeopardize what I'm building because my last name is on a, on the line here.

Calum Johnson 29:07 Mm.

Dontez Akram 29:07 My kids are on the line here. I cannot jeopardize this to, to sit here and try to figure out your life. I can't. And that's where I feel like you gotta learn how to cut a lot of ties sometimes, and it's a difficult thing to do. But, you know, like I said before, it's who do I truly wanna become, and will my future version be okay with the decision that I'm making today? If not, then you shouldn't make that decision. Same thing when it comes to friend group, same thing when it comes to friendships and, and, and relationships. Would my future self be okay with the decision that I'm making today? And, you know, I had a mentee reach out to me and he's like, "Man, you know, I, I, I messed up." I gave him some advice. He, he didn't take the right, you know, route, and I said, "Bro, this is, this is a part of the process. You're supposed to make the wrong decisions so you know what the right decisions look like."

Calum Johnson 29:53 Mm.

Dontez Akram 29:54 You don't know the right decisions until you start going through the wrong.

Calum Johnson 29:56 Mm.

Dontez Akram 29:57 So you embrace the wrong, and you look forward to making the right ones.

Calum Johnson 30:00 Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I actually, um, [lip smacks] one of the things I think that I've, I've seen, and I've experienced this, 'cause I think you're, you're 24, right?

Dontez Akram 30:10 25 now.

Calum Johnson 30:11 25. Okay.

Dontez Akram 30:12 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 30:12 I'm 25. I'm about to turn 26.

Dontez Akram 30:14 Mm.

Calum Johnson 30:14 And it's just interesting, like, growing up as a, as a man because you have to go through- You have to go through these experiences to actually build true confidence.

Dontez Akram 30:25 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 30:25 And there's a reason I say true confidence, 'cause I think a lot of people mistake true confidence with bravado-

Dontez Akram 30:31 Yeah

Calum Johnson 30:31 ... with, like, flexing.

Dontez Akram 30:33 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 30:33 It's not that. I think confidence is being able to, to do what you said, to be able to s- to sustain making the wrong decision, to make a mistake, but then know that you're gonna come back.

Dontez Akram 30:45 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 30:45 It's having a certain level of poise, and it reminds me, um, there's this quote by Alex Hormozi, which I just absolutely love, and he says, he goes, "You don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are. Give yourself so much goddamn proof that you're the version of yourself you want to be, and you'll become it. Outwork your self-doubt." And it's true. It's like-

Dontez Akram 31:18 Mm-hmm

Calum Johnson 31:18 ... you have to be tried and tested. Um, it's the only way. The only way is to be tried and tested, and to go through those failures and bounce back, and make the mistake-

Dontez Akram 31:27 Yeah

Calum Johnson 31:28 ... and then figure it out, and you can't short-circuit that process, and I think I'm curious f- f- for you to reflect on your

Calum Johnson 31:35 own, on your own life because I think a lot of people try and short-circuit it-

Dontez Akram 31:40 Yeah

Calum Johnson 31:41 ... and try and be like, "Oh, but if I get the car, though [laughs] I don't need all of the, the undeniable stack of proof. I got the whip. The whip is nice."

Dontez Akram 31:49 Right.

Calum Johnson 31:51 I'm, I'm curious if you had, if you had scenarios, situations like that where it was like, "In hindsight, I was almost trying to short-circuit the, the process."

Dontez Akram 32:01 Yeah, man. Um, I've, I've done a lot of things now because my inner kid wanted me to do it, and I realize, like, that's the inner kid way of thinking, and I became more of an adult after I made those decisions. So I think that I, I have mixed emotions about it, right? So I think that you can go out there and buy the car, and buy the jewelry, and buy those things, and it can motivate you more to go get the higher level because you've, you've kinda, like, checked one thing off your box. That's one way of thinking. The other way of thinking is trying to, uh, live a certain persona that isn't truly you. So for example, right? I had a great year, I think this was 2022, and I was like, "You know what?" I had, like, a whole bunch of money in the bank account, right? Mm, nothing crazy to a lot of people, right, who are super millionaires, but to me it was a crazy amount of money, right? And I was like, "You know what? I'm gonna go buy the jewelry, I'm gonna go buy the car." So that week, I think it was, like, two weeks before we went into 2023, I spent, I think, almost 200, $200,000 on jewelry and a car. I paid a car off in cash, I bought the chain, I bought the watch. I was like, "What else do I need?" I bought Louis Vuitton luggage and everything.

Calum Johnson 33:08 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 33:08 And I was like, "I got it."

Calum Johnson 33:10 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 33:11 And let me tell you something that I just recently realized. I've probably worn my chain probably maximum 15 times, because that's not who I am. I, I got something because ... I got those things because those were hood trophies. I would look back as a kid and I would see those people. Only people wearing it were, were drug dealers, or rappers, or athletes. So I wanted it so bad, and to get it as an entrepreneur felt even better. And then there was this short period of time where the satisfaction is there, and then right afterwards it's what's next? And that's when I just started realizing, like, I don't think all of these things are a necessity. Like yeah, it's cool to have, but only get what you truly like. 'Cause for me, I could care less about the chain. I just bought it 'cause I thought it would be cool, and I wanted to get it 'cause I was a kid, and all this other stuff. But now it's like, like you said, there's people out there buying cars and buying all the things. You don't actually need those things. For me now at 25, the only thing I think about right now is cashflow.

Calum Johnson 34:11 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 34:13 I don't care if, if I want a chain, if I want all that stuff, cool, but am I bringing in profitably 100K every single month? And that might be a small number to some people, and it might be huge to others, but if I'm looking at it like can I bring 100K every single month without missing a month profitably without driving myself crazy? You can buy whatever toy you want. I think people think that they have to become millionaires to live the lifestyle that you want. No, you just need a certain level of cashflow that can fund the lifestyle that you want.

Calum Johnson 34:41 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 34:41 And I didn't realize that until, like, 23, 24, where it's like all this stuff that I'm buying could be spent on assets that could cashflow, that could pay for it in the future a thousand times over again without me stressing.

Calum Johnson 34:53 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 34:54 And when you build, you know, companies and things like that, you start thinking from that perspective, especially when you're, when you're trying to use money from your business to fund your lifestyle, or you're paying yourself as an employee. You gotta start thinking about stuff like that.

Calum Johnson 35:05 Mm-hmm. You know what's interesting? Right before we, we turn the cameras on and we start recording, um, we're talking about the l- the last recording we did in New York, and we're even just talking about, like, just being locked in.

Dontez Akram 35:16 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 35:16 Just being dialed in, and there's someone that's listening to this right now that they're in that moment.

Dontez Akram 35:21 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 35:22 And when I say in that moment, I think there's certain times in your life, I think about them as almost like inflection points.

Dontez Akram 35:29 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 35:29 Like turning points.

Dontez Akram 35:30 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 35:30 Like it could either go way down or it's gonna go way up.

Dontez Akram 35:33 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 35:33 And it's really that binary. Like, it's those two, those two pathways, and it feels like coming out of that breakup and coming out of 2021, you were able to make sure that it went this way and not that way.

Dontez Akram 35:49 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 35:50 And for the person that wants to create that outcome for them-

Dontez Akram 35:55 Mm-hmm

Calum Johnson 35:55 ... whatever that looks like for them, and you mentioned cashflow, like cashflow is king. I'm curious, like, when you, when you give all of those things about getting an apartment, making $300,000, 30,000 new followers, what is it that you're doing on the day-to-day that is creating that outcome?

Dontez Akram 36:19 That's a great question. Um, I think what it looks like is a lot of inner work that- ... starts accumulating and snowballing, right? So what I would say is like, like I said, I had to figure out who I was first so that I could build a vehicle that best fits me. I think people try to build a vehicle and then try to fit inside and then realize that the door's too small or that the engine isn't good enough or it won't last or the tires are about to go out. I build a vehicle that's best for me, that's perfect for me. And I think that throughout that time period, it looked like every single day going to the gym because there's no way that my mental is going to be able to take on the battles that I deal with in business. It's not possible with me not working out. So I said, "All right, cool. I need to go to the gym. It needs to be a mandatory thing every single day." Now, after going to the gym, I had to start doing deep work. I had to start reading. Like, I think that when people don't open books, they truly leave a lot of gems and a lot of m- they could, they could deter certain mistakes if they just read the certain books. But nobody wants to put the time in, so you're basically saying, "Okay, I'm not gonna put the time in to read the book to find the information. I'd rather lose my money by not knowing the information and then have to learn off of losing my money." You don't always have to learn off of losing money. You could also learn by, you know, reading that book, watching the podcast, reading that article, uh, attending a, a master class or some type of webinar or whatever it is. It doesn't matter. You have to accumulate the information. And then once you accumulate the information, don't get analysis paralysis. Don't sit there and consume every single article and every single YouTube video and every single course to the point where you're like, "All right, but what do I do?" Or, or, "Ah, this is a little scary." You watched all these pros videos and now you're watching all the cons videos and now you're super motivated at one point and now you don't wanna do it because the cons are saying this and now it's ... Just do it. Stop thinking so much. Do it. Whatever it looks like, whatever skill set you're trying to attain or whatever, uh, business you're trying to start, just do it.

Calum Johnson 38:24 Mm.

Dontez Akram 38:24 You'll figure it out along the way, I'm telling you. But I think if there was one thing that I can tell any individuals who's watching this, it's just start. The fear, right? I made a post on Instagram recently where I was on the 35th floor of a hotel in Miami, and on the opposite side of the door, which is fear, right? So that entrance door is fear. On the other side of that is the life that you always wanted. Now it's just like, am I gonna break through this door or I'm gonna gently open the door or I'm gonna just look at it?

Calum Johnson 38:53 Mm.

Dontez Akram 38:54 I'm breaking through every time.

Calum Johnson 38:55 Mm.

Dontez Akram 38:56 That's how you obtain the life you want.

Calum Johnson 38:57 Yeah. And it's like the ... And you can feel it. It's like the confidence. And I think it's also just understanding momentum.

Dontez Akram 39:03 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 39:04 And even as you were speaking about the, the 35, uh, floors of a building in Miami, I think what a lot of people try and do, if you think about an elevator, right?

Dontez Akram 39:14 Mm.

Calum Johnson 39:14 When you're in an elevator, it's going through each floor.

Dontez Akram 39:17 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 39:17 So you might get in on the, in the lobby and put floor 35, but it's gonna go floor one, floor ... Like, it's gonna go past all of those floors. I think the way that a l- a lot of people try and do it, and it's what I tried to do early on, uh, with business, was you wanna go right to thir- floor 35.

Dontez Akram 39:35 Facts. [laughs]

Calum Johnson 39:36 Off jump. You ain't trying to go floor one, floor two. You're trying to get right there, perfect-

Dontez Akram 39:40 Mm

Calum Johnson 39:40 ... first time. And to your point, it's just about starting.

Dontez Akram 39:44 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 39:44 And if you have to be on floor one and you're spending hella time at floor one, cool. Like, that's where you're meant to be.

Dontez Akram 39:49 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 39:50 You know what, one of the things that, um, I- you said, and I, and I love it, is you said your mentality, and your mentality is kind of bulletproof. Like, it's, it's tried and tested.

Dontez Akram 40:00 Mm.

Calum Johnson 40:01 And you spoke about going to the gym, and I think to a lot of people, especially people that don't work out that often, it doesn't make sense why you would draw the link between having $100,000 liquid in your bank account and turning up to go to the gym every day.

Dontez Akram 40:18 Mm.

Calum Johnson 40:18 It doesn't make sense why that would be linked.

Dontez Akram 40:20 Mm.

Calum Johnson 40:21 And I wanted to go to one of the things that you mentioned earlier, which was 75 Hard.

Dontez Akram 40:25 Mm.

Calum Johnson 40:25 And I'll give the context to it and then I'm gonna ask you something about it, which is ... So 75 Hard, it's a program that will 100x your confidence, self-esteem, self-worth.

Dontez Akram 40:35 Mm.

Calum Johnson 40:36 And it focuses on five daily critical tasks. So the first one is zero alcohol or cheat meals. The second one is complete two 45-minute workouts every day, one of which must be outside. The third is drink a gallon of water every day. The fourth is read 10 pages of education or self-improvement every day. And the number five is take a progress picture every day.

Dontez Akram 41:00 Mm.

Calum Johnson 41:00 And it's funny because I've been seeing on your Instagram, I've been seeing you do this-

Dontez Akram 41:03 [laughs]

Calum Johnson 41:03 ... for like the last two months or so. Can you just talk about why is that experience ... Like, why has it been so transformational?

Dontez Akram 41:13 A couple other things before I even go into that.

Calum Johnson 41:16 Okay.

Dontez Akram 41:16 I get up at 6:00 AM every day as a part of that challenge. And on top of that, no social media the first hour and the last hour of the day.

Calum Johnson 41:23 That's some discipline right there.

Dontez Akram 41:25 Yeah. So I'm, I'm clearing out ... What I've noticed is that when you consume all of the stuff on social media, you wonder why you're just foggy throughout the day. And I don't like to feel foggy, especially in the beginning of the day. So to kind of lead to your question now is like, you know, why do I even do that, right? I think for me, I get a certain level of satisfaction out of knowing that I'm doing something that 99% of people won't do, ever. And I, I'm doing something that I know that 85% of people who start fail in the first five days. So I just, I always gamify things. How do I put myself in the 0.001% tile? Like, how do I do it? And it's always the most challenging things. So I've just learned how to become excited about the challenging things. Like, most people would steer away from doing all the challenge- challenging stuff or the things that'll test their mental health or the thing that'll test their physical health. I'm doing all of it because I know that the person in the 0.001% will be proud of the decisions that I'm making today. And it's like, man, like Even when I completed 75 Hard the first time, that day one picture and that day 75 picture, there's such a huge difference, not just in your physical, 'cause it's huge, but in your mental. Looking back through the, through the whole entire month and you scroll picture after picture, you start seeing where your body is getting lean. You start f- seeing where you're getting a little bit more confident, where your poses start changing up.

Calum Johnson 42:58 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 42:58 You start feeling better, and there's nothing better than knowing that you look good, you feel good, and you're reading and you're consistently consuming knowledge. There's nothing on this planet, to me, that feels better than knowing that I'm progressing every single day. And I knew that doing 75 Hard, just because it's 75 days, right? I know for a fact that 95% of people aren't gonna complete what I did in 75 days in this year.

Calum Johnson 43:26 Mm.

Dontez Akram 43:26 So I'm already up one.

Calum Johnson 43:28 Mm.

Dontez Akram 43:28 Now do, how do I get up 10?

Calum Johnson 43:30 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 43:30 Do it again. [laughs]

Calum Johnson 43:31 Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's actually a really cool process where, like, it changes your entire mindset of doing difficult things.

Dontez Akram 43:37 Mm.

Calum Johnson 43:38 Because you realize if this was really fucking difficult for me-

Dontez Akram 43:41 Mm

Calum Johnson 43:42 ... it's gonna be just as difficult for everyone else.

Dontez Akram 43:44 Facts.

Calum Johnson 43:45 So that, like, it's instantly putting you in a certain, uh, in a certain percentile of people-

Dontez Akram 43:51 Mm

Calum Johnson 43:51 ... 'cause they have to overcome this step, and I know firsthand how difficult it was. You know what? Take, give me some of the context on the first time doing 75 Hard, 'cause h-

Dontez Akram 44:00 Yeah

Calum Johnson 44:00 ... here's one of the things, um, and you see it every single year around New Year's, right?

Dontez Akram 44:06 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 44:06 People go in, um, and they have, like, the resolution of, "Oh, I'm gonna go in the gym this year."

Dontez Akram 44:12 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 44:12 "I'm gonna eat the healthiest I've ever done. I'm gonna get my money up," and they watch the videos. They go through the inspiration cycle, right?

Dontez Akram 44:19 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 44:19 They read the books. They watch the videos on maybe some Eric Thomas or something. Like-

Dontez Akram 44:23 Yeah

Calum Johnson 44:23 ... there's some inspiration that's happening, and then maybe the first week they, they're s- on such a high-

Dontez Akram 44:30 Mm-hmm

Calum Johnson 44:30 ... of that inspiration that they can get through the first week.

Dontez Akram 44:33 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 44:34 Then it gets to day eight, day nine, maybe day 12, day 15, and it's like, "Oh, I'm not really feeling it-

Dontez Akram 44:40 Yeah

Calum Johnson 44:40 ... going to the gym now." And so I'm curious, just give me the context of that first time doing 75 Hard. What was that like?

Dontez Akram 44:48 So with 75 Hard, um, I didn't do it by myself. Me and my girl, we were like, "You know what? Let's make this agreement." So, you know, I had seen the TikTok video. I was like, "Oh my God," like, this person had lost, like, 120 pounds doing it, and I'm like, "Yo, what the hell?" Like-

Calum Johnson 45:01 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 45:02 ... "I want my six-pack back. All right-"

Calum Johnson 45:03 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 45:03 "... so let's do this." So I started showing my girl the video, and we're just laying up in bed, and I'm just like, "I think we should do it." And she's like, "If you down, I'm down." She's like, "But you just gotta know, once you start, ain't no folding." I'm like, "You know I'm not gonna fold." Like, come on.

Calum Johnson 45:15 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 45:15 So I literally, I kid you not, I swear to God, she probably gonna hate me when she goes back and see this. I made her spit in her hand, and I spit in my hand, and we shook on it.

Calum Johnson 45:23 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 45:24 I swear to God.

Calum Johnson 45:24 That's old school. [laughs]

Dontez Akram 45:26 Old school. And, uh, from that moment on, that next morning we woke up at 8:00 AM, and the crazy part is, like, it wasn't the beginning of the year. It wasn't the end of the year going into the beginning of the year. It was, "Hey, tomorrow's not guaranteed, so I might as well do everything that I can when I do wake up tomorrow to make sure that the next day is even better." And I think that when we took on that mindset, it was easy because I had somebody else doing it with me. But again, I, I, I have to credit it to, like, my mindset. I am not the type of person to fold. Like, I don't care how many times I lose. That's the thing that I have over everyone else. I will lose over and over and over and over without any sight of stopping. That's just who I am. Because I knew that, I kn- I know for a fact that me losing over and over, even though it's uncomfortable, even though it sucks, and you're gonna have emotions as a human, I'm not saying I don't feel those things. But I am saying that if I were to rewind and go look at my life before, losing at this stage in life with money in my account, with the stuff that I always wanted, I'd rather lose here than lose there, where if I lose something, I could be potentially not eating lunch or not getting in, getting to work that day.

Calum Johnson 46:34 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 46:34 So it's like, pick your poison. You can-- and you know, there's a lot of people who say, "Would you rather be crying in a Lambo or crying under a bridge," right?

Calum Johnson 46:41 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 46:41 And it's like, for me, even though both of them are pretty terrible, right?

Calum Johnson 46:45 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 46:46 I would rather be the person who loses when I have a lot of stuff than the person who lost and doesn't have anything, right?

Calum Johnson 46:53 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 46:53 And I think that there's just a certain mindset there. So I think every single day of 75 Hard, the first time was just exciting. It was exhilarating. It was like, and then by day 30 it's like, "Oh my God, I made it to a point where 90% of people don't make it to." You-- once you get to day 30, you're like, "There's no way I'm going to, like, miss a day from here."

Calum Johnson 47:11 Mm.

Dontez Akram 47:11 And you know, I think towards the end of the challenge, 73, 74, the days, after like day 30, it's all, um, second nature.

Calum Johnson 47:19 Mm.

Dontez Akram 47:20 By day 45, you're so locked into a zone, especially with the reading and the deep work and three to five hours a day. You're so locked into a zone. There's like, you can't see anything. You can't see the noise. You can't hear any of the noise, and I think that I got so locked in by like day 50. Once I got to day 74, 75, I was like, "Yo, fuck it, we're just gonna keep going." Like-

Calum Johnson 47:40 Mm

Dontez Akram 47:40 ... and I was like, "I'm gonna do this again." And the really unique part about this challenge that I'm doing it a second time is that I waited until after the second week of January because I knew that I didn't wanna tell myself January 1st was gonna be different. I think that's just a, a way of thinking that people have to give them this dopamine or this, this exhilar- like exhilaration of like, "Oh, I'm gonna go do and change everything." No, I'm gonna start it after that so people can see the fact that I'm still going on and on and on. I just don't fold. I just don't bend. You just, you just gotta keep going, man, and you just gotta know that if you feel blessed, you probably are blessed.

Calum Johnson 48:18 Mm.

Dontez Akram 48:18 If you tell yourself you're blessed, you're very blessed. So you just gotta keep it pushing.

Calum Johnson 48:21 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 48:21 Don't fold.

Calum Johnson 48:22 Yeah. You know what? I lo- I love that you said as well that you don't, you don't wait for January 1st.

Dontez Akram 48:26 Mm.

Calum Johnson 48:27 And it's something that I even have it in my phone. I tell myself, "If you're serious, don't wait."

Dontez Akram 48:31 Mm.

Calum Johnson 48:32 People that are serious don't wait.

Dontez Akram 48:33 Mm.

Calum Johnson 48:34 So sometimes, um, and I'll hear people say this, it'll be like November or October. They're like, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna start that in January 1st." I'm like, "Anyone that's truly serious, they're not waiting for January 1st."

Dontez Akram 48:44 Mm-mm.

Calum Johnson 48:44 "It's right now."

Dontez Akram 48:46 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 48:46 Like, that's the intention. That's the conviction, and that just puts the right, it sets up the right foundation that when you're going through those difficult moments, it's like, "Nah I'm not stopping. Like-

Dontez Akram 48:56 Okay

Calum Johnson 48:57 ... and it, and it's this beautiful point, and you, you feel it in any journey, and I'm starting even to feel it with this podcast, right?

Dontez Akram 49:03 Mm.

Calum Johnson 49:03 Which is when you start, everything feels unsure.

Dontez Akram 49:07 Mm.

Calum Johnson 49:07 And I'm sure people have even had this in the gym, like that very first day when you walk into the gym-

Dontez Akram 49:12 [laughs]

Calum Johnson 49:12 ... if you've never worked out before, you're kind of a bit uncertain. You don't even know how to like check in correctly.

Dontez Akram 49:17 Mm.

Calum Johnson 49:18 You're looking at the machines. You're like, "I don't even know how to use this shit," right?

Dontez Akram 49:21 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 49:21 But it's the same with anything. When I started this podcast, I was unsure of everything.

Dontez Akram 49:25 Mm.

Calum Johnson 49:26 Like, "Oh, should the mic be here? Am I looking at the right camera?" Like, everything was unsure, and there's a certain turning point where you just feel the confidence.

Dontez Akram 49:34 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 49:34 You're like, "This is my shit now." Like, I-

Dontez Akram 49:36 Yeah

Calum Johnson 49:36 ... and, and it's, uh, it's cool that it's 75 days-

Dontez Akram 49:40 Mm

Calum Johnson 49:40 ... 'cause I think a lot of stuff is like 30 days.

Dontez Akram 49:42 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 49:43 But 75 days, it allows you to feel that of like, "Oh, no, this is me."

Dontez Akram 49:47 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 49:47 Like that identity level change, which is just incredibly powerful.

Dontez Akram 49:52 I highly recommend it to anyone who truly wants to see the be- the better version of themself immediately because there's ... You're gonna make a lot of decisions that you wouldn't normally make, and that's how I look at life is life is a sum of decisions. Every problem you get over, there's a whole nother huge problem. Like we were just talking about it before the cameras turned on. Man, one point in time, taxes weren't even an issue.

Calum Johnson 50:20 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 50:20 Now, hey, here we are, six figures to IRS who hasn't done anything for me. But it's a problem I'm r- I'd rather take rather than not having any money at all.

Calum Johnson 50:29 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 50:29 So it's like you gotta kinda pick your poisons and know that, you know, you gonna, you gonna make it. As long as you wake up breathing, it's okay. Just breathe. Don't, don't rush stuff, man. Like, I'm 25, and I still don't have the level of success that I want. Cool. I'm still breathing though.

Calum Johnson 50:43 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 50:43 Doesn't mean I'ma stop.

Calum Johnson 50:44 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 50:45 I get to enjoy time with my friends. I get to do what I want when I want. Holy fuck.

Calum Johnson 50:50 Huge.

Dontez Akram 50:51 Couldn't ... Like, 19 working at a factory, if you told me at 25 I'd be doing these things right now, I'd be like, "Shit, I probably am, so what do I need to do," right? [laughs]

Calum Johnson 51:00 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 51:01 So it's just this level of like, like stop giving a fuck, you know?

Calum Johnson 51:05 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 51:05 Who gives a fuck, bro? Who, who cares about the likes? Who cares about the comments? Joe Schmoe who comments under a post, who really cares, like-

Calum Johnson 51:11 Yeah

Dontez Akram 51:11 ... is your family good? Are they breathing? Is everything smooth? Do you have a roof over your head? Cool.

Calum Johnson 51:18 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 51:18 That's all you really need.

Calum Johnson 51:19 It does just show, it's actually a really good example of how your circle of concerns, they just evolve and change, right?

Dontez Akram 51:26 Mm.

Calum Johnson 51:26 Because when you're, when you're sleeping on that mattress with your daughter and there's mice crawling across your feet, you're not even thinking about taxes.

Dontez Akram 51:37 At all.

Calum Johnson 51:38 And then now in the position that you're in, you're like, "Man, I'm paying six figures in taxes." That is-

Dontez Akram 51:42 Yes

Calum Johnson 51:42 ... but that just shows the, it shows the transformation. It shows the development-

Dontez Akram 51:45 Mm

Calum Johnson 51:46 ... which is special. You know, I have to, I have to ask about this. Earlier on, you spoke about, and I, and I, and I think it's cool and it's interesting that you started here. You said, um, "In order to make that transformation, first I had to know myself."

Dontez Akram 52:00 Mm.

Calum Johnson 52:00 "Had to understand myself, and then once I understood myself, I could c- start to see, okay, what's my lane? How can I really capitalize on this?" So let's

Calum Johnson 52:09 assume that first step. Let's assume that someone knows themselves.

Dontez Akram 52:13 Mm.

Calum Johnson 52:14 And I even think about, um, there's so much confidence that comes with having a skill set-

Dontez Akram 52:20 Yeah

Calum Johnson 52:21 ... of just having one thing that you know I'm really good at this.

Dontez Akram 52:24 Mm.

Calum Johnson 52:24 And when it, when I think about you, I think about, um, the ads and the marketing.

Dontez Akram 52:30 Mm.

Calum Johnson 52:31 And I even saw, um, a tweet that you posted where you were talking about how you've helped your girlfriend-

Dontez Akram 52:36 Mm

Calum Johnson 52:36 ... uh, on the ad side, and it was generating a lot of, a lot of momentum for her business. Can you just talk to me ... 'Cause I think that's actually a special process is just honing that craft, the skill, the skill set of understanding ads, of marketing, and that's just an example.

Dontez Akram 52:52 Mm.

Calum Johnson 52:53 But can you just talk to me through that? Like, what was the journey of realizing like, oh, the ads, the marketing side of things, first of all, that's something for me, and then what was the process of actually becoming phenomenal at that?

Dontez Akram 53:05 Yeah, I, I think I'm still, uh, getting better at it as I go. Um, it, it, it really like ... It depends on what type of ads you're making, right? So a lot of what I do is personal brand stuff. So if I'm running an ad, it might be to get somebody to get this case study or something like that, right? But I also know when it comes to marketing, getting eyes on something, I have to be very unique at it, and this is kind of, you know, branching off of what I said in the last podcast as well is like, you know, what I wear, how I say certain things, what is the thing that I need to talk about, what are the biggest benefits that I need to talk about? And I personally believe running ads is not as difficult as most people make it seem. It's making the content to make the ads make sense. Not just cents, but sense, right? And I think that most people don't know how to make really good ads. So like when it comes to marketing yourself, when it comes to doing these things, you have to find your unique, like, your unique point that only you have. And I know for me, like, there's probably other people who can do what I do, right? But I know that my voice, how I articulate things, how I pause, what I wear, how I articulate the, the benefits and the problems, those are only for me. And I think that I kind of fell in love with the fact that only I can say things the way that I say them, and I think that there is a level of confidence that comes with it. But there's a level of surety of knowing that if I just keep practicing with me being who I am, without me having to practice like I'm Alex Hormozi or to, to talk like this person or dress like this person, what's truly meant for you is going to come to you. And I think when it comes to ads and when it comes to marketing, I think that people have to find themselves first, right? And then understand their product enough to know that using this thing that I'm really good at, which is being me, and then attaching this thing that I know a lot about, which is my product, if I mesh them good enough, I might be able to resonate with the people who resonate with me. Or resonate with the brand. Bring both of them together, create flowers. You create money.

Calum Johnson 55:09 Mm.

Dontez Akram 55:09 So.

Calum Johnson 55:10 You know what's interesting, and, and I've experienced this, and it's also, uh, been the case with guests that we've spoken to, it actually ... The thing that's for them, it actually feels easy to them.

Dontez Akram 55:20 Mm.

Calum Johnson 55:21 And the fact that it feels easy, uniquely easy for you, means it's so difficult to detect.

Dontez Akram 55:28 Yeah. [laughs]

Calum Johnson 55:28 Because you think like, "Oh, doesn't everyone just get on camera and it's like perfect delivery and they're just charismatic and articulate and, like, it just works?" Like, isn't that just something ... Like, everyone can talk, right?

Dontez Akram 55:40 Mm.

Calum Johnson 55:41 But it- it's ... No, it's like that's your thing. And it was even for me with this, um, podcast. Like, asking questions, listening, that's something that I've been doing since I was, like, a child.

Dontez Akram 55:53 Right.

Calum Johnson 55:53 So it, it's so natural to me, which made it so difficult for me to think that this was actually even a skill.

Dontez Akram 55:59 Mm.

Calum Johnson 55:59 I thought everyone just ... Isn't that just what it is for everyone?

Dontez Akram 56:01 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 56:02 Um, I think I'm curious about this. When was that moment when you gained the clarity of like, "Oh, I'm a bit different."

Dontez Akram 56:13 Mm.

Calum Johnson 56:13 Like, "When it comes to this, I'm a bit different. Like, this is the thing that comes easy to me." Was there an experience where it just crystallized it for you?

Dontez Akram 56:22 I, I would have to go back to that time where I made that ad with my daughter. Um, man, just like I think when you have your first viral post ... And I think it's different, 'cause a lot of people may go viral for dumb stuff. But I made a post that went viral and actually generated money. So when you first have that first realization, that's where all the clarity comes from. Because, like you said, you're, you're really just, like, walking in a forest with no light at all when you're starting a business. The moment you see just a flicker of a light or the moon just pops out of nowhere, now you can finally see just enough to where you can, you can like, "Ah, I think I'ma go this way instead," right?

Calum Johnson 57:01 Mm.

Dontez Akram 57:02 There's just, like, this level of, like, relief that gets, like ... That you can just, "My gosh," like, "I finally know that this thing works. Perfect." So now this is the thing that allowed me to see that this works. How do I duplicate this as many times as humanly possible? And then how do I study it and then find out, well, was it what I was wearing, or was it what I was saying, or is it because my daughter was falling this way, or is it 'cause the bonnet, the two colors, that ... There were so many different variations. But throughout that first organic creation-

Calum Johnson 57:34 Mm

Dontez Akram 57:34 ... the seed of an idea came. And that idea, if you take the idea and you keep watering it over and over and over and over and over, and you just create more seeds and more ideas, you keep watering all of them, they just start growing. And I feel like that's what it was for me with marketing, a- and just ads. It's like I tried something with my daughter that ended up working accidentally. I was just trying to promote my brand. It took the fuck off. I took it as an ad. I ran the ad. I didn't think it was that difficult to run the ads. In the beginning, we were losing a little bit of money. I learned from the, the things that I was losing money on, and then the things that were making me crazy amounts of money, I just poured more money into that. And once you keep doing that process over and over and over and over and over again, it's like you start finding a rhythm. Don't give me a chance to find a rhythm. You gotta be that type of person. Like-

Calum Johnson 58:23 Mm

Dontez Akram 58:23 ... don't give me a confirmation that the possibility is possible.

Calum Johnson 58:27 Mm.

Dontez Akram 58:27 You give me just a little slither, a little bit of room, I'm running.

Calum Johnson 58:32 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 58:32 And that's how you gotta look at it.

Calum Johnson 58:33 Yeah. And you know, it, it, it brings back what you said earlier, which is, like, it's so important to get started.

Dontez Akram 58:38 Mm.

Calum Johnson 58:39 And it's ... What I've seen is the mindset which is you're, you're almost ... In the beginning, you're just looking for any sort of signal.

Dontez Akram 58:45 Yes.

Calum Johnson 58:45 Just give me a little bit of encouragement.

Dontez Akram 58:47 Mm.

Calum Johnson 58:47 Like, a little bit of signal, and I'm gonna just hone in. And it's why it's important to get started, because you start throwing out shots. You start getting the reps in. You're gonna get something.

Dontez Akram 58:56 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 58:57 The second that you get something, there's a certain person that will ... They just take that to the moon.

Dontez Akram 59:02 Mm.

Calum Johnson 59:03 And you know what? I wanna read, I wanna read this tweet, because there's something that I believe, which is, like, anyone can get lucky once, right?

Dontez Akram 59:10 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 59:11 You can, I don't know, just be searching around and just happen to find gold once. I think someone who's a true craftsman, who understands the craft of what they're doing and has really gotten almost to, like, a level of mastery with it, is able to do it for themselves. They're able to do it for others. Like, they truly understand the skillset. And so I wanted to read this, this tweet that you did, which is, "As you guys know, my girlfriend started running ads maybe eight days ago. Here's an update. We ran DM ads, and she took calls to close people for an in-person, in-depth lash class. She spent $700 on ads, closed eight people, and has made $5,700."

Dontez Akram 59:52 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 59:53 And so can you just talk about ... And, and I wanna really get into, like, the tactics of it, is when you're helping your girlfriend with her lashes business and you're running these ads and what is the ... That's an eightfold-

Dontez Akram 1:00:09 Yeah

Calum Johnson 1:00:09 ... return. Like, what, what is it that you're doing? Like, what's the way that you're thinking about it, where you're like, "Okay, this is..." And you even spoke about it earlier, which is the content that you're running the ads to is actually really important.

Dontez Akram 1:00:23 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:00:24 What, what is ... Just take me through your whole mindset around that. How do you create, like, an eight- 8X return, basically?

Dontez Akram 1:00:30 Absolutely. S- first off, shout out to my girl. I can't take full credit for that. Yeah, I ran her ads, but she closed the deals.

Calum Johnson 1:00:38 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:00:39 And one thing about me is that I'm, I'm big on giving people, you know, the credit where it's due. So shout out to her. You're fucking goated. Just want you to know that, right?

Calum Johnson 1:00:46 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:00:47 Um, but as far as, like, the process of us doing it, right, I think when I'm looking at making an ad, I either have to have a really crazy fire hook or a really crazy guarantee in the beginning, right? So, like, if I came onto an ad and I said, "Hey, I'll help you make $12,000 in sales, and if I don't, then you don't have to pay me anything," that's a, a crazy guarantee. But for her instance, it was like- She opened the door, like we, we shot ... So this is how I, I would basically do it, right? So we shoot seven to 10 different creatives.

Dontez Akram 1:01:15 The creatives are what you are making, the content, right? So we shot seven to 10 different, uh, pieces of content. Now I used the same type of camera that ... Nah, these are a little too high def, right?

Calum Johnson 1:01:25 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:01:26 But I, I use a, a, a camera that's probably like $1,500, $2,000, right?

Calum Johnson 1:01:30 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:01:30 And I just came in there, I made sure she was mic'd up, and I said, "All right. Cool. I'm not gonna tell you what to say." Any time you go into an ad with a script, I just feel like it's not organic. The same way where you do a podcast and you know the questions behind it, it's not gonna be as organic, which is why ours work so ve- so well-

Calum Johnson 1:01:46 Yeah

Dontez Akram 1:01:46 ... 'cause I don't know what's coming up. It's just organic. This was my answer. So I told her, I said, "Look, your key things that you need to talk about are these three things. I get this many lash," uh, the ... Oh, for her instance, right? "I get this many appointments a day, I get this many ap- appointments a month, this is how much money I generated, this is my students who have generated. These are all four, five things that you can talk about because this is your skillset." You don't have to make an ad lying about something that you've never done. The, the thing is you have to realize, I read it in a book, the person who is reading page one who has to take a test on chapter one is still gonna go learn from person who has already taken, uh, the test for chapter one and is on chapter two.

Calum Johnson 1:02:22 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:02:22 You don't have to have finished the book just to teach somebody on something. You just have to be knowledgeable in the thing that they're learning. So I told her, I said, "Look, it's perfectly fine for you to have the thing that you're really good at and it not be as crazy as what social media, you know, would want you to be," right? And I think when she took that and she made the ads, I think one of them was like she opened up a lash door and it's like, "Hey, welcome to, you know, my salon. Uh, currently we've done around $80,000 this year in, in lash," and blah, blah, blah, "and I have this many people working for me," something like that. "And if you wanna learn how to build your own lash business, I have an in-person class coming up. Click the link down below. Sign up." And when they did that, the content is what they consumed. The next thing that they did was they ended up messaging her a word. Um, and then with that word she was able to reply back to each person. She could see if they're qualified. And then if they were qualified she would set them up on a, on a calendar on a book call, and then she would jump on a 30-minute, 45-minute call and then close them.

Calum Johnson 1:03:17 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:03:17 And then she was closing them for, at that time, $799. Um, since then she's closing people at, uh, 999 now. Um, so once you find something that works you can kind of make the numbers make more sense at a higher price point since you're not selling on the front end, you're selling on the back end after they book a call. And from that, I mean, I just told her like, "Look," you know, 'cause like she's doing like 20K a month from, you know, her digital products and her lash business from her doing her craft.

Calum Johnson 1:03:45 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:03:46 So I said, "Okay." She's like, you know, "I, I really wanna clear like, you know, 30, 40 a month." I said, "Okay, cool. Like what does that number look like?" "Okay. Well, I need this many book calls." "So if we know that your close rate is at 30%, right, and I wanna make let's say $30,000 this month, that probably means I need about like I would say like anywhere from like 40 to 50 book calls. You need to close 30% of them. There goes majority of the other money that you need to reach that 30K goal."

Calum Johnson 1:04:10 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:04:10 And now it's like how do we do it? We run the ads. We know our costs. We know how much we're selling it for. We know the type of people we need to be on the phone with. How do we just get more people? And that's something that we're doing to this day, is like right now I average 500 leads a day from ads.

Calum Johnson 1:04:25 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:04:25 So it's like you can only imagine how many book calls from that, you know? It's, it's, it's all a numbers game, but it took a long time to learn these things. So I think if you're really starting a business and you're doing any type of service-based business, jumping on a call with a person and closing them is probably one of the best things you can do.

Calum Johnson 1:04:39 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:04:40 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:04:40 Yeah. And you know, like one of the, one of the things I actually love that you mentioned is I think Instagram and TikTok and Twitter and LinkedIn has you convinced ... And I know 'cause I've been in this position, it convinces people that you need to be a master to get started, right? You need to be jumping on the ad talking about, "Oh, I run a $20 million ad-

Dontez Akram 1:05:02 Yes

Calum Johnson 1:05:02 ... like lashes business." Um, in order to teach someone something you only have to be one step ahead of them.

Dontez Akram 1:05:09 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:05:10 If you're one ... And to be honest actually, it's kind of better if you're only one step ahead because you, you can, you can frame the knowledge in a way that is incredibly relatable.

Dontez Akram 1:05:20 Yes.

Calum Johnson 1:05:20 And you know, we spoke about getting started earlier on. I think so much of what s- prevents, prevents people from getting started is the feeling oh, I need to be a master before I can get started. Before I can put an ad out I need to have already had all of the accolades.

Dontez Akram 1:05:37 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:05:38 And it makes sense because it's what we see on Instagram as we're scrolling. You see the guy who has like an incredible mansion or whatever-

Dontez Akram 1:05:45 Yeah

Calum Johnson 1:05:45 ... and they're touring you around and you're like, "Oh, I need to be at that point before I can start showing these things and teaching people." Um, it's not the case.

Dontez Akram 1:05:53 It's not.

Calum Johnson 1:05:53 Like you can get started. And if anything, the fact that you're closer to the beginning makes you more relatable, means that you can frame the information in a way that someone can digest it.

Dontez Akram 1:06:03 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:06:04 Um, you know what? Here's where, here's where I wanna go, because you even ... You mentioned

Calum Johnson 1:06:11 your girlfriend, and it's just, it's interesting, it's interesting just looking through the timeline of tweets-

Dontez Akram 1:06:16 Mm

Calum Johnson 1:06:16 ... of-

Dontez Akram 1:06:18 [laughs]

Calum Johnson 1:06:18 ... how like your perspective has like just really evolved. And, um, I wanna, I wanna ac- you know what? Let me read out this tweet that you posted recently.

Dontez Akram 1:06:27 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:06:28 You said, "My girlfriend has been one of the best things to happen to me in a while. She's the first person I confide or share my wins with. She celebrates everything, even the small wins. She tells me when I'm not going hard enough or when I can be more creative."

Dontez Akram 1:06:44 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:06:45 And it's interesting because if I, if I scroll back a bit there's a-

Dontez Akram 1:06:51 [laughs]

Calum Johnson 1:06:52 ... there's a tweet where you were saying, um, basically like, "Girls and love is a distraction."

Dontez Akram 1:06:59 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:07:00 And there's been like this evolution from ... And I think so many men, and I know this because this is something that like if I'm being honest, it's something that I'm going through-

Dontez Akram 1:07:10 Mm

Calum Johnson 1:07:10 ... right now, which is you're so locked in and dialed in on a certain objective and you feel like ... relationships or love or girls can only be like a liability to that

Dontez Akram 1:07:24 [laughs] Right

Calum Johnson 1:07:25 It can only be a distraction

Dontez Akram 1:07:27 Mm

Calum Johnson 1:07:27 Like, it can only distract from my focus that I have. And so to be honest, as much for me as for the audience, I wanted you just to share, like, what has that kind of evolution in your mindset been, and what has motivated it, where you've basically gone from being like, "Relationships, love, it's a liability"

Dontez Akram 1:07:47 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:07:48 To, "It's actually an asset"?

Dontez Akram 1:07:50 Man, [sighs] it's kinda crazy you brought that up 'cause I haven't even thought about it in that, in that way yet, just like, like you said, the evolution of where I was thinking then and now-

Calum Johnson 1:07:58 Yeah

Dontez Akram 1:07:58 ... where I'm thinking. I would definitely say that the thing that changed most is environment. At that point in time, I was still in an environment where I wasn't able to grow. So in my hometown, I just got out of a toxic relationship. I'm in the mindset of like, "Fuck everybody, fuck everything. I don't care about you. I don't care about your feelings, anything." And I moved to Atlanta, and majority of my friends are married. And I think that when you start hanging around a lot of married people, and you see that they're doing right by their partner, I think you naturally just want that. And I wasn't out searching. That's the thing. Like, she just fell into my lap, and then just so happened to be the person that resonates with me the most, the person I can confide in, the person that I've ... Like, bro, I, I, I truly people ... I, I truly think people do not understand. Like, I have cried, not in front of women. I've cried on my own. There was a moment where I knew she was, like, different. I was so stressed out about business, bro. I was like, tax bills coming in, and then I got expenses for the business, and then I got everything hitting me all in the same day, and I was just like, "Bro," like, "I can't." And as a man, you don't want anybody to see you cry, right? So I went in the bathroom, it's like 10:00 at night, close the door, lock the door, and I'm just crying, just letting it all out, 'cause you don't cry often as a man. And she comes inside. She unlocks the- She knocks on the door. I unlock it. She comes in, and before she asks what's wrong or anything like that, she gets on her knees and she prays over me. And I said there's no woman who's done anything like that for me outside of my wife, and I will 1,000% take that over 100 women. Pleasure and desire, lust, those things will never go. It's just be okay with knowing that it's there. But knowing why you're in the relationship you're in is the most powerful thing you can know. So I truly believe having a good woman is the best investment you can make because what she can help you bel- uh, believe in or what she can help you achieve or how she can help you reach your vision or your end goal is better than anything else. And I truly think at that point in time where I was thinking about relationships in that manner was from a standpoint of I was dealing with women. And when you're just dealing with women, what comes with that is more drama, balancing different women, all that stuff, and it's like now that I've been in a relationship for over a year now and I'm really dialed in, it's true love. It's not transactional love or because I have a kid with you, now I, I need to be with you. It's more so like this is something that I want, and it's the first- one of the first times I've been in a relationship where I truly want this and I'm truly willing to sacrifice to keep you. There's just something that comes with that, bro, and I think if a woman is willing to pray over you, cook for you, bro, you, you're, you're ... The chances of you going out into the dating world right now and finding that right now is very slim.

Calum Johnson 1:11:00 Mm. You know, I, I, um, I think it's such a good conversation because I think so

Calum Johnson 1:11:08 much of the conversation now and so much of the culture is this, like, this addiction to toxicity-

Dontez Akram 1:11:17 Yeah

Calum Johnson 1:11:17 ... and, like, toxic relationships, and there's almost, like, an attraction. It- it's strange. Like, there's an attraction to it, and even the way that you worded it, you said that, "Before I was, like, dealing with women."

Dontez Akram 1:11:30 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:11:31 Just dealing with women. Even that word, dealing with women, it's like a toxicity even to that.

Dontez Akram 1:11:35 Yes.

Calum Johnson 1:11:36 And I, and I get you 'cause I've, I've been there, where it's just like your, your attention is almost fleeting. You're, like, thinking about grass is greener or something else-

Dontez Akram 1:11:45 Yes

Calum Johnson 1:11:45 ... like what's next or ... And the thing that's, that's interesting, and you even said it, it almost, like, fell in your lap.

Dontez Akram 1:11:54 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:11:55 It fell in your lap. And, and where, where my mind goes is a lot of the times, a lot of life is actually preparation-

Dontez Akram 1:12:03 Mm

Calum Johnson 1:12:03 ... is what I've learned this year. Is doing the things on a consistent daily basis that are gonna put you in position for a much bigger win in the future, and you're showing up day after day after day, loss after loss, rejection after rejection because you're just trying to put yourself in position.

Dontez Akram 1:12:20 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:12:22 And it feels like when you met your girlfriend, you had put yourself in position, and so I'm just curious, like, what, what does that even mean within the context of a relationship? 'Cause I think there's so many people out there that are looking for that, that girlfriend, that supporter, that confidant in the way that you described. How can they put themselves in position for that?

Dontez Akram 1:12:47 I think the best way you can put yourself in that type of position is by focusing on not searching, but attracting. I'm a big believer in your ability to attract the things that you want in life. As you know from my ability to articulate dreaming and visions and things like that, I am big on attracting these things. I don't chase money. Money comes to me, and I think that when it comes to women, I think that a part of you has to be realistic as a man. Like, do you really think this girl that you are probably in love with wants to sit here and watch you play 2K all day? Probably not. She would probably more attracted to you if you were going to the gym. She would probably be more attracted to you or more willing to stay down with you if you bought her flowers every other week. I'm, I'm pretty sure she'd be more down for you if in a time of need you were there to help her, even if it's taking out the trash, moving her car, taking her car to get gas. And even if you don't have a lot of money, small gestures, giving her a kiss on the forehead, telling her how beautiful she looks. These are all things that as men we don't want to do because of what we see, the agenda. The agenda is we don't want y'all to be in successful relationships because you are better apart than you are together, for us. And I'm looking at the government, I'm looking at everything. You are better apart. Think about it, right? S- h- why is it that when somebody goes to get their taxes done, the woman who is single, right, gets paid a crazy amount of money for being a single mother, right? Now, obviously they need it, but w- like, at the end of the day, you're kind of like pushing for that to be the thing. "Oh, I'm gonna get a lot of money so I'm not even gonna, you know, attempt to be with him because I know I can get this child support, uh, taxes and all these different things." And mind you, people need those things, right? But I think it would be better if you incentivize people who are in relationships to get more together. That's just from my perspective on how I think about things. But I think personally, man, like a relationship is just something that you, you have to prepare yourself by being fit, but also by like up here. Do you understand how you feel in certain moments? 'Cause if you don't know how to communicate, a relationship is a waste of time for you. Like all honesty, if you do not know how to communicate how you feel to a person, or it takes you a week just to get past how you feel, which is a problem I've had and I still have, is like it takes me like a day or two to really articulate myself, but she knows me so well that she's able to like keep asking me until it just comes out, right? And that sometimes as a man, that's might be what you need depending on who you are. But I think that in, in order to find that type of person, you have to be doing the right things. Like why would a woman want to submit to you if you are not going about life in a way where she would find that desirable? Like, "I want to live my life in this vision that he has." 'Cause that's what they're doing. They're willing to put down everything that they're doing to submit to you, to your vision for the most part, you know, for some women, right? But if you don't have the right vision, if you're not doing the right things, why would she, why would she keep letting you lead?

Calum Johnson 1:16:00 Mm. You know, I'm, I'm glad you, I'm glad you elaborated 'cause I think sometimes people hear like the, the manifestation or having the vision-

Dontez Akram 1:16:09 Mm-hmm

Calum Johnson 1:16:09 ... or, uh, letting things come to you, and the way they interpret that is like, "Just don't do anything."

Dontez Akram 1:16:16 Right. [laughs]

Calum Johnson 1:16:16 Like they just do nothing. [laughs] And so I'm glad that you, that you elaborated. You know, one thing that I wanna ask you before we, before we get out of here is there's an interesting thing that happens, and this is kind of what I'm starting to experience,

Calum Johnson 1:16:31 is you go on this journey of improving your life-

Dontez Akram 1:16:34 Mm-hmm

Calum Johnson 1:16:34 ... of creating a life, and this is what you're really speaking about, creating a life that someone else would want to be a part of. I think so often, and like so much of the conversation now, it's almost like trying to trick someone to want to be with you.

Dontez Akram 1:16:48 Yes.

Calum Johnson 1:16:49 What about if you were just actually that person?

Dontez Akram 1:16:51 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:16:51 You were just genuinely that person, you were genuinely him, and that's what you, that's what you mention and speak to. And so you go on this journey, right, and you acquire the confidence, the skills, I think income is part of it, the health, you're going to the gym, all of these things, and then all of a sudden you're getting so much, there's attention-

Dontez Akram 1:17:14 Mm

Calum Johnson 1:17:14 ... that comes from that, and I'm speaking specifically about women. There's attention that comes from that. Not all of that attention is the attention that you would want.

Dontez Akram 1:17:22 Hell no. [laughs]

Calum Johnson 1:17:22 There's a, there's, there's-- Within that attention, there's toxic women, there's great women, there's... It's-- You, you now have to kinda sort through and find the right person. And so I'm curious for you to talk about that period of your life, because I'm sure that there was a section of it where you had gotten some of this success and some of the results, some of the fruits of your labor were there-

Dontez Akram 1:17:47 Mm

Calum Johnson 1:17:47 ... and now you're getting more attention 'cause you're driving a nicer car, and you can do nicer things, and you can go on certain dates, and you can do the flowers. But some of those people just weren't right. And so I'm just curious about that process of like you making the decision of like, "Oh no, this is the right person."

Dontez Akram 1:18:05 [sighs] Man, um, I've, I've, I think to be realistic, like I've been on a lot of dates. I've dealt with a lot of women, right? And I think any man has. Like, but I do know when you reach a certain level of status, whether it be social media following, income, cars, houses, all that good stuff, right, you start reaching a different level of s- like clout in a, in a sense to where you're just attracting any and everything, right? And I think for me, bro, I think it's... What really made me stick with like her other than all the other girls was just her ability to communicate herself and what she wanted. Like there was very, it was very rare for me to find a woman who could s- like say the things that they weren't comfortable with about themselves, and that to me was like powerful because you're open-minded enough to know that there's things that you could improve on. And not only that, but just character, bro. Like there's just certain things like through conversations and people's responses to questions, you can kinda just f- feel like throughout them communicating, there's this certain level of energy that you receive from this person, and I feel like the frequency that me and her were on for our first three to four dates was at such a high level that I knew that based off of my recent experiences, I was not gonna find that And I am okay with putting down all the other women that may be in my DMs, that commenting heart eyes under my posts, all of that. I am willing to put and leave all of that stuff alone because I know that the frequency and the energy that she has, I can't find that nowhere as far as compatibility with me. And it may be out there in the world, but I'm not willing to go jeopardize spending all that time to go find the right person and relearn somebody because at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to. When you're dating a lot of women, when you're doing a lot of stuff with different women, you're constantly learning somebody else.

Calum Johnson 1:20:10 Mm-hmm.

Dontez Akram 1:20:10 I am tired of relearning people. I am tired of the same what you doing text.

Calum Johnson 1:20:15 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:20:15 I'm tired of that shit. There's no, there's no depth in, in those conversations. There's no getting to know people, and that's why like I truly wish that I was born in like the '60s and the '70s because a lot of men have lost their ability to go out there and walk up to a girl and say, "Hey, you look beautiful," and, and ask for her number or ask to take her out on a date, right? Or hey, you have to meet her dad on the first or second date because she's coming outside and you're driving. She doesn't have a car, and that's the first person you meet. You know, like that's not a thing anymore. Everything is... I, like I've literally, I was on a plane coming from Miami, and there was this, this, this... He probably wasn't a kid. He was probably like 19, 20 in front of me, and I didn't mean to be all up in his business, but his phone was just right there.

Calum Johnson 1:21:02 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:21:03 And he was just shooting heart eyes, just shooting. Like, like literally went in the gym and just start shooting.

Calum Johnson 1:21:08 Steph Curry.

Dontez Akram 1:21:09 And was just like... And I'm just like, it's so easy right now.

Calum Johnson 1:21:13 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:21:13 Like for it to be that easy, you have to understand that what comes with that is not easy, which is dealing with all these different people. So I just was like, man, like even though there's a lot of women who reach out to me, I feel like there's always gonna be a woman with a crazier body or may look 100 times better and all those different things. It, cool, right? That's just the, that's just what it is. But I think that when you start looking at like marriage and when you start looking at long-term relationships, you're looking at the energy level, the frequency, the peace. That's the biggest part. Do you bring me peace? In all of this shit that I deal with in my world, can you step in and for just an hour, a day, a month, can I just be like, "Wow, things are just a lot simpler with you"?

Calum Johnson 1:22:01 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:22:02 And that's how I feel.

Calum Johnson 1:22:03 Yeah. You know what? I think, um, and I, I hear a lot of this. Uh, I know it, this is what it was for me. Um, and I didn't even h- I even... I had to go to like therapy actually to realize this, which was like the biggest

Calum Johnson 1:22:19 reservation that I had with getting into a relationship was the risk.

Dontez Akram 1:22:24 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:22:25 Was you're letting someone in so close to you, and if it doesn't go the way that you want, then it could jeopardize everything.

Dontez Akram 1:22:33 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:22:34 Because they know you, and it's like what you said with your, with the relationship that we mentioned in the beginning. You're used to this person being around.

Dontez Akram 1:22:42 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:22:43 So when they're not around anymore, what impact does that have on everything that you're doing, on your mindset, on how you feel about things? And so I'm curious for you because I think that final, the step, the final step of commitment is like a, it's an important one, and I'm just curious o- out- coming out of that relationship, the one that we mentioned in 2021-

Dontez Akram 1:23:08 Mm

Calum Johnson 1:23:08 ... and the toxicity of it and everything that happened there, was there any... And even just the tweet of like, "Love is a distraction." Like, you can almost feel the mindset that you were in-

Dontez Akram 1:23:21 Yeah

Calum Johnson 1:23:21 ... when you said that. When was the moment, when was the experience where you think like you truly let that go?

Dontez Akram 1:23:34 Hmm. I, I would have to say when I met her, my girlfriend now. Like... And I hate referring to her as girlfriend. I cannot wait till I marry this woman. You don't even understand, bro. Like I, I really hate... I can't wait to say fiancée, you know what I mean?

Calum Johnson 1:23:52 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:23:52 Um, or wife, you know? That's just like a goal of mine, you know? But I would have to say like when I met her because I think even through the midst of my single period, which was like a four-year period, it was just a lot of different women, and there was a lot of good traits. There were a lot of bad traits. There was a lot of toxic things. There was a lot of great things. But none of them were the type of woman I wanted to commit to, and I think that's what I've noticed, especially nowadays, is like you're dealing with women because you like the way things feel for now.

Calum Johnson 1:24:26 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:24:27 I had to start looking at it like, "I gotta feel good for the rest of my life with you." [laughs]

Calum Johnson 1:24:32 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:24:33 "So if I'm not feeling that way with you-

Calum Johnson 1:24:35 Yeah

Dontez Akram 1:24:35 ... in next five years, the next three years, the next year, it's probably best that we don't do this." And I think it's just a, a long-term way of thinking because when you have huge goals, when you have huge dreams, yeah, you can go do it on your own, but the experience that you get from sharing the, the results with someone else is just unmatchable 'cause the stories and the, and the, the memories and, and everything that you build along that process and around that journey is just... There's a certain emotion that comes to it. So th- there's a reason why a certain song might come up that you know, and there's certain emotion that's attached to it. So you can listen to the same song 20 times after a heartbreak, and then every time you hear it, you feel depressed and you feel sad.

Calum Johnson 1:25:19 In that moment, yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:25:19 And then there's songs where, you know, a huge win, you may have had your first 100K day and this is the song you just turned on. You played it 500 times-

Calum Johnson 1:25:26 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:25:26 ... 'cause you just did your first 100K day, right? And I can, I can say that. That's how I was in both t- in both realms. And I think that, um, you know, there's just a level of like energy, bro, that comes with it, and I know people might be like, "Oh, he's crazy," and all those things, but I'm like, I, I just really wanna be even more aligned spiritually, you know what I mean? And just understand ... people and their intentions, you don't really know. So it's just best to just stick back, do your thing, build your own business. I'm telling you, when you get some cashflow, some assets, some investments under your belt, you'll start attracting more women, or you'll attract more men, right? And once you start doing that, you gotta understand that you're gonna have to start filtering through, depending on what your goals are. And for me, I just, I, I know I wanna be married, bro. I want- I don't wanna have any more kids out of wedlock. That is the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. And I don't regret my children, but I know for a fact me not being able to have my children live under the same roof as me is still something that affects me to this day. And I just promised myself no more. I can't. I don't give a fuck what society wants or what it... I'm not them.

Calum Johnson 1:26:28 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:26:28 Just gotta make the better decisions, so.

Calum Johnson 1:26:30 Yeah. You know, I think the, the biggest thing I respect about you is, like, you have, like, an accountability to yourself.

Dontez Akram 1:26:36 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:26:37 And, um, I don't know. I think, and I've definitely gone through these stages in my life, uh, I've seen it a lot with other people. A lot of the people are accountable to other people.

Dontez Akram 1:26:46 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:26:47 Maybe it's your boss at work. You show up on time because you have to, because otherwise my boss is gonna get mad at me.

Dontez Akram 1:26:53 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 1:26:53 But then what about when you tell yourself that I'm gonna go to the gym at 7:00 AM?

Dontez Akram 1:26:57 Right.

Calum Johnson 1:26:58 And then you're showing up at 7:30. Like, a lot of people, they, they take the words more seriously coming from someone else than when they make the decision. And I think if you really wanna perform at a certain level, it's like, nah, your voice has to be the loudest.

Dontez Akram 1:27:13 Has to.

Calum Johnson 1:27:14 Like, when you commit to something, that's more meaningful than someone else telling you you gotta be there at this time.

Dontez Akram 1:27:19 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:27:20 You know what? Just before, before we finish, and I had to ask this because, uh, you mentioned, and I, and I think you're right, music is so powerful where, like, you'll, you'll remember songs from certain periods in your life and just, you could hear it five years, 10 years later, takes you right back to that moment.

Dontez Akram 1:27:38 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 1:27:39 You spoke about, like, kinda that first time meeting your girlfriend, and maybe not even just specifically that first time, but that whole period. Is there a song that comes to mind that you're like, "That's the..." Like, that's the one that kinda just sums up that whole-

Dontez Akram 1:27:54 Mm.

Calum Johnson 1:27:55 That whole time?

Dontez Akram 1:27:58 Man, I feel like a new Drake album had just came out [laughs] around that time.

Calum Johnson 1:28:03 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:28:04 So I think there's a, there's a couple of them.

Calum Johnson 1:28:06 It's always Drake, man. [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:28:06 Yeah. It, it... There was a couple of them, and it was just, I think he was in love at that point in time.

Calum Johnson 1:28:10 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:28:10 So I think... I, I can't remember the specific name, but there's like... It may not even always be the song that you, like, remember the name, but you know, it could just be on random or shuffle, and it comes up-

Calum Johnson 1:28:20 Yeah

Dontez Akram 1:28:20 ... and then it's like, "Oh," like, "Oh, shit, my heart."

Calum Johnson 1:28:22 Yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:28:23 You know? It's like, it feels soft or it feels hard. Like I, I'm, I'm depressed or something, right? Um, but I think, man, like I, I can't remember the exact song, but I just, I have to say I'm grateful, bro. You know what I mean?

Calum Johnson 1:28:34 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:28:34 Like, I found peace. And it may not be every single day, but in my life with how much stuff I deal with and on a business level, on a family level, as a father, with all the stuff that I deal with, for her to be the peace, I'm grateful for her.

Calum Johnson 1:28:49 Mm.

Dontez Akram 1:28:49 I wouldn't ask for anything else other than, you know, the ability to keep leading the way that I'm leading, so.

Calum Johnson 1:28:55 Yeah. No, that's a special way to end.

Dontez Akram 1:28:57 Yeah.

Calum Johnson 1:28:57 I'm so happy we got you back home, man.

Dontez Akram 1:28:59 Man, bro, it's a huge honor again, and you've fucking exploded, bro. Y'all, y'all don't understand.

Calum Johnson 1:29:03 [laughs]

Dontez Akram 1:29:03 He's exploded, man. So I'm, I'm very proud of you, bro, and the podcast is truly something special.

Calum Johnson 1:29:07 Thank you. Thank you. And you know what? It's, it's, uh, I think it's just amazing in the, in the story and the arc of the whole podcast and the show that the explosion started with you as well.

Dontez Akram 1:29:17 Yeah, man, it's crazy.

Calum Johnson 1:29:18 Just makes sense. Yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:29:19 So if y'all are watching, y'all have been with us the whole ride, man.

Calum Johnson 1:29:22 Yeah.

Dontez Akram 1:29:22 That's crazy. So, uh, we definitely gotta say thank you to the people though, because-

Calum Johnson 1:29:26 100%

Dontez Akram 1:29:26 ... the love y'all had on that first video, I can only, like, I can only just say I'm, I'm, I'm truly grateful and, and appreciative, so.

Calum Johnson 1:29:33 Yeah. And you know, you know what's interesting? Like, people always, they ask me all the time, they say, "What's different? What was different about that episode? What was different about that video?" And it's such a tough answer 'cause it's hard to quantify.

Dontez Akram 1:29:46 Mm-hmm.

Calum Johnson 1:29:46 But it was just, it just resonated, and it resonated 'cause it was authentic and it was real.

Dontez Akram 1:29:52 That's it.

Calum Johnson 1:29:52 And, uh, that's what it was.

Dontez Akram 1:29:54 It's the real Tez now. Come on, man. [laughs]

Calum Johnson 1:29:57 [laughs] Sweet. That's a wrap, man. That's a wrap.

Dontez Akram 1:29:59 Yes, sir. Let's get it.

Calum Johnson 1:30:00 I appreciate you, boy.

Dontez Akram 1:30:01 My guy. Appreciate you again, bro.