The Diary of a CEOCole Sprouse: My Narcissistic Mum Sacrificed My Childhood For Fame! | E229
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 5:30
Intro, Intentions, And Cole’s Earliest Years In The Industry
Steven explains the purpose of the podcast—exploring the unseen, human side of high-achievers—before inviting Cole Sprouse to reflect on the formative forces in his life. Cole describes starting work at eight months old, the financial pressures of a single mother with twin boys, and how early work built a deep connection between self-worth and labor.
- •Podcast aims to go beyond public personas and explore why people do what they do.
- •Cole has been reflecting for the last 18 months on what still compels him in his career.
- •He distinguishes between child actors working to support their families versus those pursuing art for its own sake.
- •Work became his primary way of feeling valued, leading to a workaholic identity.
- •He wrestles with whether he could ever walk away from performance and simply enjoy a quiet life.
- 5:30 – 13:00
Being Put Into Acting And The Double-Edged Gift Of Childhood Fame
Cole recounts being placed in commercials as a baby and never having a real choice about acting. He reflects on trading a carefree childhood for financial stability, the advantages of failing anonymously pre-social media, and the fear he has for young actors now forced to evolve under global scrutiny.
- •Acting began as diaper commercials and sitcom work long before he was conscious of it.
- •He feels both grateful for financial security and aware of what he lost in childhood presence.
- •He’s glad he built his ‘10,000 hours’ before the era of social media permanence.
- •Modern young actors must develop their craft in front of a global audience, which he finds terrifying.
- •Having a twin created an economic advantage via labor-law loopholes, doubling allowable work hours.
- 13:00 – 22:00
A Narcissistic Mother, Custody Battles, And Rejecting Victimhood
Cole dives into his family history: a tortured, narcissistic mother who monetized her twins’ identities and a grounded father who eventually gained custody. He describes how the legal system deemed his mother unfit, why extreme selfishness is incompatible with parenthood, and his refusal to let his painful origin story define him as a victim.
- •Parents split early; he has only one memory of them together.
- •Mother sought artistic validation through her children’s careers and exploited the twin loophole.
- •He characterizes her issues as mental illness, drug abuse, and ‘wicked narcissism.’
- •The courts intervened, transferring custody to his father due to her unfitness.
- •He avoids dwelling on scars publicly to resist media sensationalizing victimhood.
- •He argues media over-focuses on pain, not on the strength people build in response.
- 22:00 – 30:00
Lessons From Pain, Child Services, And The Role Of Trauma
Responding to questions about when he realized his upbringing was not normal, Cole mentions social services involvement and contrasts life with his indulgent mother versus structured father. He articulates a philosophy that experiences, especially painful ones, are lessons meant to sharpen character, and suggests trauma shouldn’t be ‘therapied away’ but integrated as practical wisdom.
- •Primary custody initially went to his mother due to systemic bias toward mothers.
- •He noticed he felt better and more present under his father’s structured care.
- •He avoids sharing specific social services details to prevent becoming a ‘mommy issues’ cliché.
- •He views all encounters—even with flawed parents—as lessons shaping who you become.
- •He believes persisting in love and care despite deep wounds is a sign of strength.
- •He questions whether trauma should ever fully ‘go away,’ likening it to not unlearning that fire burns.
- 30:00 – 40:00
Validation, Narcissism, And The Emotional Economy Of An Artist
Cole unpacks his internal world: swinging between narcissism and self-loathing, craving validation, and spiraling when criticized. He critiques LA’s aversion to vulnerability and authenticity, and champions long-form conversations like podcasts as an antidote to superficial, status-obsessed media.
- •He identifies as a product of alternating ‘incredible narcissism’ and ‘severe self-loathing.’
- •His best work comes from a middle ground between the two extremes.
- •Negative feedback can trigger fantasies of escaping to an off-grid life.
- •He finds LA culture steeped in imposter syndrome and hostile to vulnerability.
- •Short, shallow interviews feel ‘safe’ but uninteresting; podcasts allow nuance and context.
- •He values being asked meaningful questions over being treated as a spectacle.
- 40:00 – 51:00
Balancing Art And Commerce: Acting, Twins, Disney, And Photography
Tracing his career from Big Daddy to Friends and The Suite Life, Cole explains how twin labor economics intertwined with his early work and how acting became less fun once it stole time from being a kid. He later turns to photography to reclaim creative control and express a personal vision independent of commercial acting constraints.
- •Child labor laws limit hours; identical twins effectively double permissible work time.
- •Early acting became ‘the grilled chicken’ of life, with fame obligations as unwanted side dishes.
- •Disney success came with homeschooling and emotional distance from normal high school life.
- •He discovered photography at 18, initially documenting travels with his brother.
- •Post-college heartbreak reignited his commitment to photography as therapeutic ‘hobbyism.’
- •Photography lets him show what he can do with full creative freedom, unlike being a ‘commercial employee actor.’
- •He explains that financially secure actors can choose low-paying, high-art projects others can’t afford to take.
- 51:00 – 59:00
Rediscovering Love For Performance And Navigating Social Media Fame
After college, Cole returns to acting and rediscovers the joy of performance itself while disliking the surrounding celebrity machinery. He discusses how social media has blurred lines between the work and the persona, and shares his controversial Instagram account documenting people secretly photographing him, using it to critique performative culture.
- •He loves the present, trance-like state of a good performance and performing for the crew.
- •Publicity and social media have grown to overshadow the core craft of acting.
- •He laments that celebrity profile and online ‘salad’ can matter more than the grilled-chicken work.
- •His ‘camera duels’ Instagram of people secretly snapping him both amuses and disturbs him.
- •He understands why people want proof they saw him but values deeper conversations far more.
- •Meaningful fan interactions, like with cystic fibrosis patients moved by his film Five Feet Apart, are what stay with him.
- 59:00 – 1:07:00
Social Anxiety, Therapy Tools, And Grounding In The Present
Cole describes social anxiety as an enveloping, overheated sensation and shares practical techniques he’s learned in therapy to manage it. He’s wary of non-experts dispensing mental health advice online but still offers his own coping strategies: pausing heated interactions, using sensory grounding, and recognizing that problems usually feel bigger to you than to others.
- •Social anxiety feels like being in a sauna that’s just too hot—a suffocating blanket.
- •He grounds himself by systematically engaging all five senses to re-anchor in the present.
- •In heightened emotional states, he steps away from arguments and resumes them 20 minutes later.
- •He prefers a logical, solution-focused approach, which can frustrate partners who just want to vent.
- •He warns against armchair diagnoses and emphasizes the importance of trained professionals in mental health discussions.
- •He reminds himself he’s not uniquely burdened—others have faced similar anxiety and survived.
- 1:07:00 – 1:21:00
Boundaries, People-Pleasing, And How Love Exposes Old Wounds
Cole admits that in his 20s he didn’t love himself enough, leading to porous boundaries and intense people-pleasing in work and romance. Reflecting on three major relationships, including one with a Riverdale co-star and his current healthier partnership, he connects his care-taking tendencies to his relationship with his mother and his childhood responsibility to ‘fix’ adults.
- •He used to sacrifice his boundaries to keep others happy, especially in romantic relationships.
- •Fear of being seen as imperfect made him suppress his true feelings and needs.
- •He links his compulsion to fix and caretake to his first relationship with a chaotic mother.
- •Even now, he feels a drive to fulfill her original dream of who he and his brother could be.
- •His current relationship with an emotionally understanding partner reinforces healthier boundary-setting.
- •He’s become more comfortable with the inevitability of awkward interactions and polarization—he no longer needs everyone to like him.
- 1:21:00 – 1:31:00
Labels, Identity, Authenticity, And Fighting Gatekeepers
Cole challenges the notion that people must live inside rigid labels like ‘child star’ or ‘actor,’ arguing it’s limiting and often enforced by gatekeepers. He and Steven discuss manifestation, personal responsibility, and the courage to pursue multiple identities. Cole advocates for trying new pursuits boldly, expecting resistance, and finding people who see your humanity beyond your job title.
- •He recognizes he’s often labeled a ‘child star’ but sees labels as largely useless.
- •People who can’t see beyond labels are, in his view, ‘pretty useless’ to talk to.
- •He encourages experimenting widely in life—blacksmithing, silversmithing, anything that expands experience.
- •They critique pop-culture ‘manifestation’ as overhyped and often used to dodge hard work and nuance.
- •Cole notes that people love to gatekeep fields and tell newcomers ‘not that guy.’
- •He insists there’s always a ‘side entrance’ if the front door is guarded; you must fight for yourself.
- 1:31:00 – 1:40:00
Therapy, Connection, Soul, And Reclaiming Humanity
In a meta-conversation about therapy, Steven reveals he finally sought private help from a psychiatrist, while Cole frames good therapy as deeply human connection rather than clinical detachment. Cole argues that humans are searching for ‘soul’ in others to validate their own, and that many modern problems stem from disconnection—from people, nature, and purpose.
- •Steven confesses he’d long interviewed therapists but only recently sought therapy for himself.
- •Cole likens a good therapist to a first house—it arrives when you’re ready for it.
- •He sees many forms of therapy: formal sessions, wilderness, deep conversations.
- •Disconnection—from nature, community, or meaning—often drives people to seek therapy.
- •He criticizes therapy models that feel transactional (the ‘your-hour-is-up’ alarm) and favor hands-on, empathetic engagement.
- •He believes we all seek confirmation of our own soul through recognizing it in others.
- 1:40:00 – 1:49:00
Questions From The Diary: Dark Sides, Regrets, And Authenticity
Using question cards from previous guests, Cole and Steven explore their darker sides, regrets, apologies, and authenticity. Cole names his dark side as the narcissistic, validation-seeking self that forgets his privilege; Steven talks about wanting to apologize to his mother for under-celebrating her sacrifices. They both reflect on moments they’d redo and how to be more authentically themselves.
- •Cole’s ‘dark side’ emerges when he feels proud and chases external decadence and validation.
- •Steven would apologize to his mother for not more openly honoring her brilliance and sacrifice.
- •Cole’s one-day redo involves being fully transparent about an apology meeting that upset others.
- •Steven reveals the first time he privately saw a therapist despite talking about therapy publicly for years.
- •Cole says being more authentic means standing his ground, setting boundaries, and caring less about shock or disapproval.
- •They discuss the personal and practical costs of inauthenticity—including exposure as a fraud or overpromising on skills.
- 1:49:00 – 1:58:00
Speaking To His Younger Self, Twin Bond, And Future Fatherhood
Presented with photos of his father and of himself and his twin Dylan as kids, Cole articulates what he’d say to these earlier versions. He expresses gratitude and reassurance to his young father, refuses to burden his child-self with adult concerns, and emphasizes how having a twin protected them from loneliness and helped them survive their unusual upbringing.
- •To his young father, he’d say: you were exactly where you needed to be when you needed to be there.
- •He shares a humorous anecdote about his dad immediately getting a vasectomy after learning they were having twins.
- •He would avoid imposing adult anxieties on his child-self, talking instead about simple joys like animals or Pokémon.
- •He believes adults’ duty is to protect children’s presence and ‘lantern consciousness’ as long as possible.
- •He credits his twin for making their path survivable; they always had a shared frame of reference.
- •He jokes he’d probably smile at his child-self and then ‘kick Dylan’s ass,’ underscoring their playful bond.
- 1:58:00
Legacy, Last Work, And The Treasure Hunt Grandfather
In the final segment, Cole answers a question from the previous guest about the last piece of work he’d do. He immediately thinks of children and grandchildren, imagining one last act that eases their lives or sends them on a whimsical treasure hunt, before closing by noting that he hopes not to see his passions as ‘work’ at all.
- •If he had one last piece of work, it would be to help his children be okay—to ease their path.
- •As a grandfather, he fantasizes converting wealth into buried gold and designing a grand treasure hunt.
- •He wants to leave his descendants with a wild, meaningful story rather than just money.
- •He hopes that by the end of his life he won’t experience his passions as ‘work’ but as play and purpose.
- •He and Steven end by reflecting on empathy, shared birth year, and the mutual value of honest conversation.
