The Diary of a CEODavina McCall: How To Overcome ANY Trauma & Live The Life You Deserve | E210
CHAPTERS
- 9:00 – 28:30
Abandonment, Two Childhood Worlds and Learning to Read People
Davina recalls the defining moment of realising her mother wasn’t coming back, being left with her grandmother, and growing up across two starkly different worlds: safe, modest England and chaotic, glamorous, drug‑fuelled Paris. She explains how this created a lifelong fear of abandonment, extreme people‑reading skills and a ‘half‑nun, half‑wild‑child’ identity.
- •Mother leaves her with paternal grandmother ‘for a holiday’ that never ends; no one explains the custody decision.
- •Davina feels like a long‑term ‘guest’, over‑staying her welcome, internalising guilt and fear of being unwanted.
- •Visits to her French mother mean exposure to nudity, sexual boundary‑breaking and drugs from age 12.
- •She and her older sister Caroline become each other’s anchor in their mother’s chaos.
- •Constantly reading her mother’s footsteps and moods teaches Davina to read people instantly—an eventual strength as a presenter.
- 28:30 – 40:30
Teenage Wildness, People‑Pleasing and the Seeds of Addiction
As a teen, Davina escapes to London nightlife, partying hard and using drugs with little thought for the future. She links her show‑off persona and hunger for attention directly to her abandonment trauma, describing how drugs temporarily mimicked the maternal warmth she’d missed.
- •At 14 she moves to London, discovers clubs and drugs while living with her strict but stable father and stepmother.
- •By 16–19 she’s focused entirely on ‘the weekend’ and partying, not education or career.
- •Drugs feel like a hug, filling an internal ‘hole’ of loneliness and insecurity.
- •She identifies as a ‘needy people‑pleaser’, performing ‘look at me, don’t leave me’ behaviours.
- •Travel to Australia briefly reveals a sober, disciplined side of herself she actually likes—the ‘nun’—but she slips back into wildness in Europe.
- 40:30 – 57:00
From Waitressing to MTV: Relentless Asking and a Double Life with Drugs
Davina charts her early work life—waitressing, retail and then booking male models at a top agency—while still heavily using drugs. Through club promotion and sheer persistence, she manoeuvres herself into an audition at MTV, contrasting her car‑crash using years with the moment she finally arrives six months clean.
- •Learns people skills and the joy of service in waitressing and retail roles.
- •Gets a job at Models 1 as a male model booker; the glamour quickly normalises.
- •Runs a club night, is asked to bring ‘beautiful people’, catching MTV Europe’s attention.
- •On an MTV launch trip, she decides, ‘I’m going to work there,’ and secures a contact.
- •Relentlessly sends showreels and phones MTV execs for years, cheerfully asking for new contacts when rejected.
- •Finally, at 24 and six months clean, she’s screen‑tested by MTV—sober, early, composed—and ready.
- 57:00 – 1:12:30
Rock Bottom, NA and Rebuilding a Life
Davina describes her descent into heroin and cocaine addiction, the intervention by a friend, and the moment she chooses to ask for help. Daily NA meetings, the 12‑step programme and immersion in a community of honest addicts teach her how to live differently and indirectly unlock her career at MTV.
- •Heroin addiction emerges in the last months of her using; she realises ‘all drugs’ are the problem.
- •After a friend confronts her in a car, she storms off, then breaks down alone and calls a woman in recovery.
- •Attends her first NA meeting, then goes daily for 90 days, ‘sobbing in surrender’ and committing to doing anything to change.
- •NA meetings normalise her experiences and reveal the power of radical honesty.
- •Sobriety allows her to show up professionally: on time, reliable, and emotionally present for the MTV audition.
- •She credits NA with literally saving her life and giving her the internal stability to sustain a media career.
- 1:12:30 – 1:27:00
Healing the Abandonment Wound and Rethinking Fame
Already sober, Davina undergoes hypnotherapy for a work fear and unexpectedly heals her core abandonment trauma. She then confronts the emptiness of fame: achieving her dream MTV show does not ‘fix the hole’ or win her mother’s love, pushing her to source validation internally instead.
- •Hypnotherapy for submarine claustrophobia leads to regression to her 4‑year‑old self in her grandmother’s kitchen.
- •Guided to comfort ‘little Davina’ as if she were her own child, she realises, ‘Look at you now—you’re great,’ and truly believes ‘you are going to be okay.’
- •Post‑session, she starts setting boundaries without terror of rejection, tolerating not being liked in order to self‑respect.
- •Her longstanding drive for fame stems from an unconscious message to her mother: ‘You made a mistake leaving me.’
- •After landing her own MTV show, she sobs because it doesn’t fill the void; her mother’s response is criticism, not praise.
- •This moment reframes fame as a poor substitute for inner work, beginning a new phase of seeking wholeness from within.
- 1:27:00 – 1:42:00
Happiness at 55, Persistence, Manifestation and Career Evolution
Davina reflects on feeling genuinely content and grounded in midlife—something her younger self never imagined. She explains how she keeps her career alive by constantly ‘walking forward’: pitching ideas, being willing to be a ‘mosquito’ and accepting that some paths aren’t meant to happen while others, like Long Lost Family, arrive unexpectedly.
- •She is now ‘100% filled’ and describes a calm, non‑euphoric happiness that makes her emotional with gratitude.
- •Contrary to her 30‑year‑old fears, life at 55 is not sad or empty; it’s rich with work, love and purpose.
- •After Big Brother she worries, ‘Who am I now?’ and experiments with digital/tech projects that don’t land.
- •Letting go of forced ideas opens space for Long Lost Family, a 13‑year project she finds deeply meaningful.
- •She unapologetically emails commissioners with ideas or to ask for roles (e.g., campaigning to host ‘Mid‑Life Love Island’).
- •She frames manifestation as knowing your destination so well that you naturally keep taking aligned actions, like persistent follow‑up emails.
- 1:42:00 – 2:09:00
Losing Caroline: Love, Care, Bucket Lists and Living Now
Davina recounts discovering her sister Caroline’s advanced lung and brain cancer, caring for her through hospital and home, and being with her as she died. The experience is excruciating but also brings unprecedented intimacy between them and teaches Davina urgent lessons about presence, boundaries and not deferring life or love.
- •Subtle signs—clumsiness, left hand weakness, ‘flu’ and back pain—precede an ER visit where doctors reveal widespread cancer.
- •Both sisters initially struggle to process the news; Davina steps into organisational and emotional leadership.
- •She notices a neglected sore/blackhead on Caroline’s back as a symbol of how unseen and defended she’s been all her life.
- •Davina commits, ‘I’m climbing over the fence and I’m going to get in,’ refusing to be kept at emotional arm’s length.
- •They co‑create a bucket list (France, time with friends), but Caroline declines faster than expected; some items remain undone.
- •Davina adapts Caroline’s cottage, arranges care and seizes a transformative moment when Caroline finally allows her to bathe and moisturise her entire body.
- •Her central message: do not wait for a terminal diagnosis to say ‘I love you,’ cut toxic ties, or live the way you’d choose if you had six months left.
- 2:09:00 – 2:26:00
Grief, Feeling Like an Island and Attachment in Relationships
Discussing grief, Davina explores the sensation of being an emotional ‘island’ after losing her mother, father and sister. In conversation with Steven about attachment styles, she reflects on how healing her abandonment fear allowed her to become more securely attached and build stable adult relationships.
- •Despite a loving step‑mum and extended family, she often feels like an island loosely connected to an archipelago.
- •Her children feel like part of her ‘island’ in a way others do not—rooted in DNA and daily life.
- •Steven shares his own avoidant attachment patterns and journey toward stability with his girlfriend; they compare notes.
- •Davina now identifies as ‘stable’ in attachment, but acknowledges she wasn’t before addressing abandonment.
- •They reconnect this to grief: when many close relatives die, the ‘island’ feeling can intensify, but deep partnership can build secure bridges.
- 2:26:00 – 2:52:00
Menopause, Misconceptions, HRT and How Partners Can Really Help
Davina explains why she risked her career to speak openly about menopause and co‑write ‘Menopausing’. She runs through common symptoms, the range of severity, her own near‑career‑ending brain fog, and why educated partners—especially men—are critical allies. She offers specific, non‑patronising ways men can approach the topic.
- •She felt menopause was shrouded in ignorance and shame despite affecting every woman and some trans men.
- •Initial documentary work felt risky (‘am I committing professional hara‑kiri?’) but public response was overwhelmingly grateful.
- •Symptoms span night sweats, brain fog, mood swings, body changes, weight redistribution, and can devastate mental health and careers.
- •Approximately 25% of women sail through, 50% struggle moderately, and 25% are severely affected (including suicidal thoughts).
- •Her own GP wrongly told her she was ‘too young’; a private specialist finally diagnosed perimenopause, explained her hyperthyroidism risk factor and put her on HRT.
- •She emphasises evidence‑based information on HRT’s benefits and risks, and that staying on it long‑term is often safe and beneficial.
- •Davina shares a story of a husband who jokingly ‘threw’ the book at his wife; she DM’d him, coached him to show vulnerability instead, and it transformed their conversation.
- •Clear advice to men: read up yourself, speak honestly about your feelings, avoid ‘diagnosing’ or banter, and ask ‘What can I do to help?’ rather than accuse.
- 2:52:00 – 3:13:00
Purpose, Self‑Care, Legacy and the Power of Platform
Turning to purpose, Davina says she’s no longer chasing followers or money but focusing on how to help people with her platform. She talks about lingerie as self‑respecting armour, imagines a TV show called ‘Legacy’ giving the dying a living wake, and connects this to her sister’s funeral and her wish that people feel loved before they go.
- •Her mission now: ‘If I can help in any way, that’s what I want to do.’
- •She uses her platform to spread useful knowledge (e.g., menopause) and bolster self‑worth rather than fuel ego.
- •Lingerie becomes an example of self‑care: wearing beautiful underwear just for yourself as an ‘act of love’ and confidence.
- •She observes how little her sister understood her own impact until a huge, love‑filled funeral she never saw.
- •Pitches a show, ‘Legacy’, where life‑limited people experience a ‘This Is Your Life’‑style celebration while still alive.
- •Frames even commercial projects through a lens of: does this make people feel better about themselves?
- 3:13:00 – 3:40:00
Her Mother, Forgiveness, Boundaries and Relief After Death
Davina revisits her complex relationship with her mother: confronting her alcoholism, briefly reconnecting when she got sober, then feeling utterly betrayed when her mother sold a recovery story to the press. She ultimately chooses distance, continues quietly paying for her mother’s medication, and practices a personal ritual of forgiveness when she learns she is dying.
- •As a sober adult, Davina tells her mother directly she is an alcoholic; their relationship ruptures.
- •Her mother gets sober in South Africa; they reunite at Davina’s wedding and even attend an NA meeting together.
- •Six months later, her mother sells a tabloid story revealing Davina’s NA membership and honeymoon photos, with no mention of sister Caroline.
- •Davina feels ‘like someone ripped out my heart’ and slams emotional ‘shutters’ down, while still sending money for her mother’s medication.
- •Upon learning her mother is dying of cancer, Davina visualises beams of forgiveness flowing from her hands to her mother’s heart: ‘I totally fucking forgive you. Go in peace.’
- •When news of her death comes, both she and Caroline feel relief; they privately vow never to live in a way that others might be relieved by their passing.
- •Her mother’s death frees Davina to remember funny, human moments, not only pain.
- 3:40:00
Cancel Culture, Fear of Speaking and the Cost to Progress
In response to a closing question, Davina names cancel culture as what angers her most about society. She recounts being piled‑on for a tweet about the Sarah Everard case and reflects on how online shaming discourages learning, apology and honest debate—ironically undermining the very progress many campaigners say they want.
- •She tweeted that stranger‑abduction‑murders are rare and cautioned against demonising all men, thinking about her son’s distress.
- •The tweet got ~200k likes but she only ‘saw’ the 10k abusive replies calling for her to be hurt or killed.
- •She stands by the core point but acknowledges her biggest mistake was timing—posting too soon after the murder.
- •The experience left her ashamed and afraid to go to the supermarket, and more cautious about expressing views publicly.
- •She argues that ‘canceling’ people prevents them from learning publicly and robs society of growth through contrition and nuance.
- •Both she and Steven note that fear of clipping and virality now stops many from asking necessary, difficult questions, slowing social progress.
