“It’s An Emergency!” The Number Of Men Having No Sex Increased 180%! - The Relationships Professor

Men are vastly overrepresented in suicide, addiction, and incarceration (e.g., 76% of UK suicides are male; men are four times more likely to be addicted and 12 times more likely to be incarcerated). Galloway argues we frame women’s suffering as a societal issue but men’s as a failure of accountability. He insists compassion for struggling men is not anti‑woman and that young men should not be blamed for the sins of prior generations.

Galloway repeatedly stresses that if you had to identify one ‘point of failure’ for a derailing young man, it is when he no longer has a male role model. With high male incarceration, abandonment, and very few male primary‑school teachers, many boys grow up without any positive male presence. His own life was changed by Pell Grants, accessible public education, and several unrelated men (coach, neighbor, stockbroker) who stepped in. He argues that ‘the number one solution for what ails young men is other men.’

Online dating severely disadvantages average men: an average‑attractiveness man needs around 1,000 right swipes to get one actual coffee. Many then retreat into porn, games, and low‑risk digital “relationships,” which feel like connection but undermine motivation to engage in messy, risky real life. Galloway calls porn ‘the largest unsupervised experiment on young men’ and urges moderating it to keep ‘mojo’ for going outside, pursuing people, and enduring rejection. He predicts a booming sex‑bot and AI‑companion industry, leading many men to choose relationships with machines over humans, deepening depression.

Women are now better educated and often outearn men, especially under 30 in urban centers. Because women tend to date across or up socioeconomically while men date across and down, the ‘pool’ of men who are taller metaphorically (and often literally) is shrinking. This fuels a ‘high heels effect’: women are getting ‘taller,’ men ‘shorter,’ so many high‑achieving women in their 30s+ can’t find men they want to date, while large numbers of men get no attention. Online, the top 10% of men attract the majority of female interest (‘Porsche polygamy’), leaving most men lonely and most women frustrated.

Galloway proposes three immediate reallocations of a young man’s time and energy: (1) start making any money—gig work, delivery, ride‑share—to build skills and hunger; (2) deliberately join activities that put you in the path of random strangers for friendships, mentors, and dating; (3) invest 4–6 hours weekly in physical fitness, which boosts mood, attractiveness, and kindness, and rivals medication and therapy for mental health. Financially, he advises: pick a field with >90% employment, get very good at it (10,000 hours), live below your means like a stoic, funnel savings into low‑cost index funds/ETFs (preferably tax‑advantaged), and let time and compound interest work.