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Jaackmaate: The Untold Story Of My Battle With Health Anxiety & OCD | E127

This weeks episode entitled 'Jaackmaate: The Untold Story Of My Battle With Health Anxiety & OCD' topics: 0:00 Intro 01:35 Your early years 21:48 Your fake Youtube persona 28;36 Your YouTube journey and losing motivation 34:23 Does money buy happiness 40:26 Imposter syndrome 44:37 Why stopped posting on Youtube 48:57 Have you ever thought about the person on the other side of the criticism? 58:21 Happy Hour Podcast 01:06:52 Health Anxiety 01:20:23 Your partner 01:26:20 Whats the reason you’re sitting here today? 01:30:46 The last guests question Jack: https://twitter.com/Jaack?s=20&t=vmSg7Y60pTpQcFOWvrd8mg https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0BjnjltT8FEZyN3Iw5mN0Q The rapper NF that Jack Refers to https://www.youtube.com/c/NFrealmusicvideos/videos Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveBartlettSC Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsors: Huel - https://my.huel.com/Steven Myenergi - https://bit.ly/3oeWGnl

Steven BartletthostJaackMaate (Jack Dean)guest
Mar 21, 20221h 32mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 1:35

    Intro

    1. SB

      Could you do me a quick favor if you're listening to this? Please hit the follow or subscribe button. It helps more than you know, and we invite subscribers in every month to watch the show in person.

    2. JD

      People know Jack Mate for being the guy to slag stuff off, and that's funny. And then when the content dried up, well, I've now got to go and look for someone who's doing something wrong. You can only do that for so long before you just hate yourself. Didn't really get on w- with my mum. She would do and say things that I don't think any mum should really do. Things would happen at home and I'd have, like, a mark on my face, like, from someone that shouldn't have given me that mark. I made a video reacting to Zoella's advent calendar. That changed the game for me. The, the upload before that, I was gonna quit. I struggle with, um, health anxiety and OCD. There's probably 15 to 20 times a day where I actually convince myself that I have cancer.

    3. SB

      So you're too fearful to go and get a health check done?

    4. JD

      If I go there and the doctor's like, "Yeah, you're ill," then that's the end for me.

    5. SB

      What do you mean that's the end for you? Jack, give me the, uh, give me the context on your life. You know, I, I sat here yesterday with Israel Ad- Adesanya and he told me about his childhood. Um, and there was hints of that that really kind of felt similar to the experience that I read you've had as, as a young man as well. And then also, I think, the other one where I could see real distinct similarities, and I think you might have listened to this podcast, is Jimmy Carr.

    6. JD

      Yeah. Yeah, what a man.

    7. SB

      Yeah, what a man, right?

    8. JD

      Yeah.

    9. SB

      He's like a... I didn't realize he was s- he was gonna be such a philosopher.

  2. 1:35 – 21:48

    Your early years

    1. SB

      One of the things he said to me was, you know, when someone t- becomes a comedic figure, which I consider you to be in many respects, I think you are.

    2. JD

      Mm-hmm. I'll take that.

    3. SB

      Yeah, good. Okay.

    4. JD

      I'll take that.

    5. SB

      Um, he, he says that instead of asking... 'Cause there's, you know, there's this kinda stereotype that the person themselves is struggling with something and they're trying to make other people laugh. He said to me, as you might have heard, he said, "You've actually got to ask them which one of their parents they were trying to please or to, to make happy." Does that resonate with you at all?

    6. JD

      Um, yeah. I mean, upbringing, didn't really get on w- with my mum. I don't think she truly understood the potential in YouTube, whereas my dad always did. So when I was sort of like, like, we're... I guess, how old are you, Steve?

    7. SB

      29.

    8. JD

      29. Okay, so I'm 29 in like two weeks time.

    9. SB

      Yeah.

    10. JD

      So like, we ki- we were kinda like the first kind of content creators in a way. Like we, we kind of like paved the way, if you will.

    11. SB

      You did.

    12. JD

      Some people did.

    13. SB

      But yeah, I was later to the party as well.

    14. JD

      Well, people like Charlie and So Cool liked it-

    15. SB

      Yeah.

    16. JD

      ... and I just followed them, I guess. But, um, yeah. My mum didn't really get... She might, she might argue this point, I don't know, but I don't think she really saw the, um, the potential in what I was doing, so I was just some kid in my bedroom just talking to a camera, just waffling, not getting a real job, sort of thing. And, um, she has, she has her issues and stuff with alcohol and whatnot, ended up kicking me out. Long story short, um, I was kind of at a crossroads at some point, quite early on, maybe like 18, 19, where I was living in my uncle's box room at his, at his, um, flat, which isn't the nicest environment in the world, I, I think you wouldn't mind me saying. And then I kind of thought, "Okay, I have to try and take this YouTube shit serious." And at that time, I didn't know what the YouTube shit was. So ever since that moment... I think the pivotal moment for me was I bought a whiteboard. I bought a whiteboard and that changed-

    17. SB

      (laughs) Smiths plan.

    18. JD

      That... Yeah. That, that changed everything and... 'Cause I never took YouTube serious, like a job, like a nine to five. It was always something that I would just, just do.

    19. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    20. JD

      Just, just moan about something or take a, uh, do a funny take on something or whatever. So I bought a whiteboard, chopped it up into a month and wrote my plan, and then I think it was in like 2012, I had this thing where I was like, "I'm just gonna say yes to anything that comes in my inbox."

    21. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    22. JD

      And I just, for 365 days, just did. And then ever since then, it's just felt like I'm on this weird kind of j- Like, I've still not worked it out. Like, you've got your shit together, Steve. (laughs)

    23. SB

      No, I haven't. No, I haven't.

    24. JD

      Look how many cameras there are here. (laughs)

    25. SB

      (laughs) It doesn't... I think c- cameras isn't, uh, yeah, an indication of having my shit together. But I... Okay, I take-

    26. JD

      You're a dragon.

    27. SB

      It's mad, isn't it?

    28. JD

      Yeah.

    29. SB

      Yeah.

    30. JD

      Just the word dragon. Like, that's mental.

  3. 21:48 – 34:23

    Your fake Youtube persona

    1. SB

      You say you've mellowed out and matured now and you, and you even spot that you were doing them from, like, a, not an authentic place, right? Do you regret them?

    2. JD

      Uh, there's some I definitely do regret, yeah. The m- the majority I'd say no. Um, obviously, we, we, we both know that I'm a big fan of Ricky Gervais.

    3. SB

      Yeah.

    4. JD

      And he always... One of his mantras is there needs to be a why in comedy. Why are you doing something? If you're targeting someone, why are you doing it? Like... Um, and a lot of my early main channel content, like, for anyone who doesn't know, like, I made a video reacting to, um, Zoella's advent calendar. She-

    5. SB

      Everybody knows. (laughs)

    6. JD

      (laughs)

    7. SB

      It's got, like, six million views, isn't it?

    8. JD

      Yeah. (laughs)

    9. SB

      Yeah. Crazy.

    10. JD

      It did all right. That changed the game for me in terms of YouTube. I was, I was going to quit. The, the, the upload before that, I was gonna quit. And then I uploaded that video and it changed the game. But the... Like, when I look back on videos like that, I, I have no regrets because it was funny. It... The comedy almost, like, it wrote itself. Like, there was a reason why I was doing it. It was, it was a sketch. That's all it was.

    11. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    12. JD

      But there would be times when I fell into the trap of like, "Okay, people know JackMate for being the guy to slag stuff off and that's funny," whatever, and then I'd find a few things that naturally did piss me off and I could draw humor from it. And then when the content dried up, it was kind of like, "Well, I've now got to go and look for someone who's doing something wrong and become this kind of, like, sort of white knight of, of the internet sort of thing."

    13. SB

      Hmm.

    14. JD

      And it was like, "That's never who I was." So I did, I, I did my first ever video with Ricky Gervais and, and, and that was the biggest moment ever for me. And then I remember uploading the video and the interview was brilliant and the top comment was, "This is good, Jack, but Oli White's released some new T-shirts that you haven't spoken about." And I thought, "Fuck me. So I've got to now... That's what you want from me, is that..."

    15. SB

      Hmm.

    16. JD

      So then I'd go, I'd then go out of my way to go, "Okay, Zoella in the title, bangs views. What is she up to? Oh, she's released a book." Now, that book, there was nothing wrong with that book. But I'm trying, I'm tr- actively trying to pick flaws in it that I can dissect on my channel.

    17. SB

      Hmm.

    18. JD

      And it's like, there, that's kind of like the stuff I, I, I regret. I remember KSI and Joe Weller, they did their... When I was trying to be edgy boy, edgy boy JackMate, they did their first press conference for their fight and that was in, in Manchester I think it was. And I... And, and 'cause I was the black sheep of YouTube, I would never get invited to them.

    19. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    20. JD

      So therefore, by default, the jealousy would take over and I'd be like, "This is shit. I want nothing to do with it." Where deep down, I knew that I wanted something to do with that. That whole YouTube boxing scene, in fact, I'm a boxing fan, I'm a YouTube fan-

    21. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    22. JD

      ... so why would that not appeal to me? Um, and they did a, they did a press conference-And JJ, he, um, he said something about Joe Weller's medication, which I don't agree with, but in the context of a press conference, you say anything you can to get the upper hand.

    23. SB

      Hmm.

    24. JD

      And I remember just turning on my camera straight away. I was like, "KSI needs to be canceled, blah, blah, blah." 'Cause I knew it would bang views. But JJ's a hero of mine, as I'm sure he is to-

    25. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    26. JD

      ... any YouTuber, any content creator now.

    27. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    28. JD

      Joe Weller, I was a, uh, I, I used to watch every single one of his videos. I, I love Joe Weller, so they're the ones I regret when I wasn't be o- being authentic and not even really being funny, just actually trying to go in on someone 'cause I wanted that check at the end of the e- the ad revenue to be higher that month.

    29. SB

      When you were doing this, when you s- J- JJ mentioned the medication thing, you hit record.

    30. JD

      Mm-hmm.

  4. 34:23 – 40:26

    Does money buy happiness

    1. JD

      Like, I, I, I wouldn't change it for the world, it's everything I've, I've always, always wanted. But, like... 'Cause, 'cause I, I think, I think money does, money does buy happiness. And I think if people say otherwise, I think they're t- talking shit. Like, uh, in, in a way, like... Well, I, well, maybe I should rephrase that to, to money buys freedom.

    2. SB

      Yeah.

    3. JD

      And freedom is, is-

    4. SB

      Happiness, yeah.

    5. JD

      ... is, is happiness. And that's what, what I have now. I have... I can do what I want when I want. The best feeling I, I h- I get now as a 28-year-old, soon to be 29-year-old, is when I sort my family out.

    6. SB

      Hmm.

    7. JD

      And... Like, my granddaddy's still working. He's 20... Uh, he's 70, um, 77. 20, imagine that? He wishes.

    8. SB

      (laughs) 20 (laughs) .

    9. JD

      (laughs) Yeah. He's 70, he's 77, and he's a big fat lump from Norfolk, and he still does building and demolition and walks on roofs and stuff, and he's not got a penny. And then, like, I went to see his parents' grave with him in February, um, last year. And, uh, he goes there every week, puts new flowers on, he's been doing it for like 50 years. And it's like... And I could see how... He was e- he was wearing these beat-up boots and this disgusting, tattered jacket. And I just went home, and I just got his bank card without him knowing from his side of his car where his, w- k- k- handbrake is. And I got his bank, and I just transferred him 5,000 pounds. And for me, that was like, that was just everything. That was like, that was, uh... Everything I'd worked for, was justified in that moment. And I got more out of that than I did when I bought my house. And, like, just, uh, little things. Like my sister's type one diabetic, so she has like a thing in her arm that constantly pricks her and finds her, her levels, and-

    10. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    11. JD

      ... I can, I can pay for that shit. And yet last night, my dog died, and... The dog that I'd had for 18 years. Um, and, uh, lit- literally, like, found out just before I went to sleep last night. And it's little things like this that might not seem like a lot, but it was the first time I'd spoke to my mum in ages, and she was like, "Oh yeah, we're gonna get Diddy's ashes, cost 200 pound." There's the 200 pounds. So it's like, that kind of shit is, like, why I owe everything to this online world, and people that have given up their time to watch me and brands that have trusted me and stuff. And yeah, that's the best feeling.

    12. SB

      I think you nailed it when you said that. Um, sorry about your dog, by the way. I have a dog-

    13. JD

      Yeah (laughs) .

    14. SB

      ... and I really, that really... I can't imagine-

    15. JD

      It's shit, yeah.

    16. SB

      It's really shit. Even the thought of it is just-

    17. JD

      Yeah.

    18. SB

      ... terrifying.

    19. JD

      She was 18 years and four months, so she's quite old.

    20. SB

      Mm.

    21. JD

      But when they get to that age, you just assume that they're always gonna crack on. (laughs)

    22. SB

      Yeah, yeah.

    23. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    24. SB

      Um, no, you, I think you nailed it when you said that freedom is the thing that ultimately does make you happier. Because I remember not having, I remember getting the bailiff letters and then not being, not knowing how I was gonna eat, or knowing that the, the landlord was gonna come and ask me why I hadn't paid the rent in four months and the pressure that of con- that, like weighing on me. And the freedom of just like not looking at how much things cost when you go into Topman, "I wanna buy one of those T-shirts."

    25. JD

      Yeah.

    26. SB

      That kind of thing or where you wanna go somewhere. So freedom definitely makes you happier. But obviously, at this point, I've come to realize that if you gave me more money, the, the fundamental happiness levers of my life won't change. Like, you're right, like my sister's been a little bit sick recently.

    27. JD

      Mm.

    28. SB

      She, she, um, um, and being able to help her, I said to my team this week, I was like, "That's the moment where I see the point of this." Just being able to like pay the hospital or like get her checked, get ha- get her proper healthcare, those kind of things.

    29. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    30. SB

      Um, my parents got broken into. Being able to buy them, like new locks for their doors so that they wouldn't get broken into again is, is one of those things where you go, "That's what this is for."

  5. 40:26 – 44:37

    Imposter syndrome

    1. SB

    2. JD

      Is it? (sighs)

    3. SB

      I, I, I, I think so because, um, because I've never struggled with the idea that I didn't deserve what I created. And I think, so I'm asking myself why you would really struggle with that. Why you might struggle with the thought that you are making money and other people are potentially having to... 'Cause I, I mean, it's a reality of the world. Even if you go back to where I was born in Africa, people in the fields for 18 hours a day picking tea leaves in the baking sun get paid nothing. And in the Western world, some people can just play around on their computer and make billions-

    4. JD

      Yeah.

    5. SB

      ... from the s- from the stock market or the markets or something.

    6. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    7. SB

      But for some reason you struggle, you struggle with this and other symptoms of imposter syndrome from what I've read in-

    8. JD

      May- maybe it's, (sighs) 'cause I think I spoke positively about YouTubers and my peers and stuff, but there's still a lot of them that are pricks. Like, and, and, and, and, and, and, and growing up and seeing, like I've used to go to YouTube events and see my YouTube heroes and they'd come over, "How many subscribers you got?" It's the first thing they'd say, "How many subscribers you got? My name's Jack. Nice to meet you, dickhead." (laughs)

    9. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    10. JD

      Like so, so I guess, I guess maybe it's connecting that. I'm now a YouTuber. I'm now, I, I now make my money in the same way that Alfie Deyes made, made his money, Oli White makes his money. I'm that guy. And because I've seen a lot of YouTubers take it for granted and just assume that that's their right to have these things, it m- that's maybe where I get my guilt from. I never wanna lose, lose touch of that. And-

    11. SB

      And you've really come from a working class like household-

    12. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    13. SB

      ... where you've watched your dad work really, really hard and everyone around you it sounds like work really, really hard wherever you've looked.

    14. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    15. SB

      And it's almost like you found a bit of a cheat code or y- you know.

    16. JD

      Yeah.

    17. SB

      You might feel like life has given you, I don't know, but you've, you earned it. I mean, you bought the whiteboard.

    18. JD

      Yeah.

    19. SB

      Right?

    20. JD

      Yeah.

    21. SB

      This was intentional.

    22. JD

      Yeah. Yeah.

    23. SB

      The whiteboard shows that you b- you know, you planned it out.

    24. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    25. SB

      Obviously, moments of luck for all of us appear when we, we start, we carry on carrying on. But you've realized that you've earned it, right?

    26. JD

      Yeah.

    27. SB

      You do... You hesitated.

    28. JD

      (laughs)

    29. SB

      You don't, do you?

    30. JD

      I, I, (sighs) I do and I, uh, but not to the level...... in which I've got to now, not to, like, yeah, I get, I, I guess, I guess, I, I, I have, I have, I have a talent. I can do... I'm a personable person. I can-

  6. 44:37 – 48:57

    Why stopped posting on Youtube

    1. SB

      it feels like everybody that's not a YouTuber, and I say everybody, uh, 'cause there's gonna be people listening that are driving up and down the country right now as they're listening to this or, you know, doing the dishes or whatever and perfectly happy with whatever they're doing. But a lot of young people want to be YouTubers.

    2. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    3. SB

      And the thought that you had this, like, big main channel-

    4. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    5. SB

      ... with like... How many subs has your main channel got now? Is it like 1.4 or something?

    6. JD

      Yeah, 1.4 mil, yeah.

    7. SB

      Yeah. Um, (clears throat) th- that you would like lose motivation to do it-

    8. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    9. SB

      ... is quite a difficult concept to understand for a lot of people. You have 1.4 million people that have subscribed to get videos from you and you're like, "Can't be arsed."

    10. JD

      Yeah. It's not so much can't be arsed, it's just, it's not me. It's just, it's just not me anymore. It's people... I, I'd open up my inbox and people would be emailing me about some YouTuber from France who has sold a pen for a bit too much money and I need to be the guy that calls them out, and it was just like, I was never, I was never really this guy. So yeah, I, I guess, I guess I just transferred all that energy that I was putting into the main channel into the podcast, and that's where my passion is now. And doing stuff like this-

    11. SB

      Hmm.

    12. JD

      ... getting to sit here, chat to you and... Yeah, that's... I, I, I get what you mean. Like, if you'd have asked me two years ago, "Right, am I just gonna leave a channel with 1.4 million subscribers stagnant?" I would, I'd call you all the names under the sun.

    13. SB

      Hmm.

    14. JD

      I'd be like, "You're an, you're an idiot. Of course I'm not gonna do that." But it seems that I have done it. I'll use it every now and then. Like in January, I uploaded a video about Boris Johnson.

    15. SB

      Hmm.

    16. JD

      And-

    17. SB

      I saw a dope video.

    18. JD

      Thank you.

    19. SB

      I saw it all over the newspapers. Really, really cool video.

    20. JD

      Thank you.

    21. SB

      Like creatively, culturally relevant. It really like hit, it was fast.

    22. JD

      Hmm.

    23. SB

      You were very quick to act on that moment, so it was, uh... That, I guess, I guess for you probably, is that how you- you're seeing the use of your YouTube, your main channel now? Like, when you genuinely feel you want to do something-

    24. JD

      Yeah.

    25. SB

      ... yeah.

    26. JD

      Yeah. When, like, wha- when the, the why is there, when there's a clear and obvious why-

    27. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    28. JD

      ... I'll, I'll, I'll do it. Um, and not just for a quick buck now. I'm very thankful I don't need to do them anymore.

    29. SB

      It's hard to sustain something when it's not in line with who you truly are, isn't it?

    30. JD

      Yeah.

  7. 48:57 – 58:21

    Have you ever thought about the person on the other side of the criticism?

    1. SB

      ... Because that video did really well.

    2. JD

      Yeah.

    3. SB

      And I think if a video about me had gotten six million views, um, I think I'd have a pretty shitty month. I was gonna say week, but I think it'd last longer, 'cause that video did really, really well.

    4. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    5. SB

      I remember like sometimes someone would write like an article about me and I'd try and be this tough guy. I'm like, "I don't give a fuck. Whatever, whatever."

    6. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    7. SB

      But I'm still, at like 1:00 AM in the morning, it'll like ... It, it's hard to get it out of my mind.

    8. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    9. SB

      So I think if a video got six million views about me criticizing something I'd done-

    10. JD

      Yeah.

    11. SB

      ... it'd probably been quite hard to take mentally.

    12. JD

      Yeah.

    13. SB

      Do you ever ... Does ... Has that ever, like, crossed your mind? Like ever? How-

    14. JD

      Yeah. Y-

    15. SB

      I'm not saying what you did was wrong, because th- I watched the video and I actually thought it was really funny. So it's like, was there comedic merit in someone that super successful selling a advent calendar of that n- nature for that price? Yes, I understand it, like when you talk about the wine (techno music plays) and the Gervais, like, philosophy, I get it. But does, d- Has that crossed your mind as well?

    16. JD

      Yeah, yeah.

    17. SB

      Hm.

    18. JD

      Um, I ... That's just another reason why I stopped doing it. Um, i- i- i- it's hard to f- f- ... Um, I'm not articulate enough to describe how I feel about it. But yeah, the, the calendar video was funny. There was a clear error on her behalf and I just ... Ultimately, I, I ... I wasn't really saying anything nasty about her, it was just this product. Whereas when you do a follow-up video and a third video, where's the, where's the line? Where do you draw the line? Is it becoming bullying now? Like, that's not who I wanna be. I wanna be a comedian. So, so th- I definitely ... As I've gotten older, and I guess maybe I was immature for a long time. I should have realized this at a way earlier age than I did, but y- you do start to consider others (laughs) .

    19. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    20. JD

      Um, and, and I'm the same as you mate. I'll read a comment about me on Twitter and I will clap back, and I still go back to them now and Fi's there going, "What are you doing?" And I'm like, "Fuck 'em." Like, I just ... Like, that's a bit of my dad as well, like ... And I'll just, I'll sp- I'll spend hours arguing with football Twitter. (laughs)

    21. SB

      That's all the worst.

    22. JD

      Yeah. (laughs) Yeah.

    23. SB

      And they've all got, like, a football player as their display picture.

    24. JD

      Yeah, yeah.

    25. SB

      (laughs)

    26. JD

      They're called like Fantastic Four Nows or something. (laughs)

    27. SB

      (laughs)

    28. JD

      He doesn't know who you are. (laughs)

    29. SB

      Fucking hell.

    30. JD

      Yeah. But I, I, I get a bit of a rush from it, really. (laughs)

  8. 58:21 – 1:06:52

    Happy Hour Podcast

    1. SB

      that start? Why did you decide to start doing long, long form podcasts instead of the, the other types of videos you were making before?

    2. JD

      I've, I, I've always wanted to interview people. At college, 10 years ago, I, I studied interview techniques. My-

    3. SB

      Really?

    4. JD

      My granddad was the first person I interviewed. He came in and I interviewed him about the war and all that kind of stuff. And I always wanted to do it. And then in 2017 I had a podcast with my friend Tom Norris. Um, done all, done all right, uh, but it was just too much, too, too much, um... We were doing it at the YouTube space and we'd rock up sometimes and they didn't have the cameras in and that, so it fell by the wayside. But then, uh, 2018 I wanted to do another podcast. I said to Fi, I said, "Who shall I do it with?" 'Cause I always knew I wanted to do it with your everyman, so not a YouTuber, 'cause that's not... I'm not a YouTuber that's been friends with YouTubers. I'm a YouTuber that's friends with my mates in Norwich. I'll do the best video ever with the big celebrity, come back to Norwich and they'll just go, "Yeah, we didn't watch it, mate. Not bothered." (laughs) And I'll just be in the pub and that will be everything I need to keep me grounded.

    5. SB

      Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

    6. JD

      So I, so she, she suggested Stevie White who's, um, just a, just a mate that lived in Bristol. And, uh, I called him up and said, "Do you want to do a podcast?" And he said, "Why?" (laughs) I said, "Good point." (laughs)

    7. SB

      Why? (laughs)

    8. JD

      Good, good point. And then, and we ended up giving it a go. I started doing it with a guy called ImAllexx who's a, who's a YouTuber that was very, um, a comment... He was a co- commentary YouTuber, so he was calling out people.

    9. SB

      Mm-hmm.

    10. JD

      He would do the cookie cutter templates of like, "X, Y and Z needs to be canceled. X, Y and Z needs to be can-" And he was doing that all the time. So originally my show was a YouTube drama show to call people out, to be an extension of what I was doing on the main channel. And then after about five or six episodes I thought, "This is just poisonous and I don't, it's not me. Why am I trying to do it in a different format?" So we dropped that and started getting guests on and interviewing people, and I found the love of YouTube again, which I'd, which I'd lost for a few years.

    11. SB

      Was there, like, a pivotal moment in Happy Hour where you thought, "Fuck, this is gonna be..." Was it, it wasn't the Spotify, dude, it must have come sooner than that, right? Where you thought, "This is... We've got something here."

    12. JD

      Yeah. Um, again, it was probably getting Gervais on.

    13. SB

      Oh, God. I do remember that day.

    14. JD

      'Cause he was, he, he was in our first, like, three guests.

    15. SB

      Nice.

    16. JD

      And, and I'm so grateful that he gave me a chance years ago, 'cause I would, I, I genuinely believe I would have none of this if it wasn't for him giving me a shot. And I built up a connection with him years ago. So he then, when I needed someone big to come on the podcast, he would step in. And you know what it's like, you get one through the door, other people almost then don't judge the show based on me. They'll judge it based on who, who else has sat in that seat.

    17. SB

      Yeah.

    18. JD

      So, so I owe a, I, I owe a lot to him. So that was probably a defining moment. And testament to Stevie as well, because I've been doing this for 10, 12 years.... I've been around people like Gervais. I've been very lucky, very fortunate. And I remember how nervous I was the first time I sat on a sofa with him. The first time I filmed with him was the most nervous I've ever been for anything in my life. And then Stevie White is come literally seemingly out of boots the day before, and then he sat there with Ricky, and he's just, he just gets it. He's just on, and he's just the glue. And I was like, "I've chosen the right person here, like, to do this, this journey with."

    19. SB

      And then the money side of things. So eventually, y- you get approached by Spotify-

    20. JD

      Mm-hmm.

    21. SB

      ... and they, they offer you, um, a contract or a deal, ex- exclusive deal to do. And I remember watching your video announcing that.

    22. JD

      Yeah.

    23. SB

      And you were very, very honest.

    24. JD

      (laughs)

    25. SB

      A lot of people-

    26. JD

      Was it too honest?

    27. SB

      No. Like, I think that's probably why people like you so much because you're, I can trust you because you're going to tell me the way you go. "Listen, we're..." You know, the money is a fucking-

    28. JD

      (laughs)

    29. SB

      ... very important thing here and you're being very, um-

    30. JD

      Yeah.

Episode duration: 1:32:41

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