Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be | E113

ℹ️ EPISODE INFO

Released

January 3, 2022

Duration

1h 4m

Channel

The Diary of a CEO

Watch on YouTube

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📝 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

This weeks episode entitled 'Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be' topics: 0:00 Intro 02:22 Speaking my truth - the consequences of acting 08:06 How do you become who you want to be? 14:44 How do you build self-awareness? 22:04 Whats the importance of struggle? 25:30 Remote working 38:14 What do we learn from change? 48:56 How do I encourage someone out of despair? 56:37 How are you doing? 01:02:34 Our last guest question Jordan: https://www.instagram.com/jordan.b.peterson/ https://twitter.com/jordanbpeterson @JordanBPeterson Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveBartlettSC Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsors: Huel - https://uk.huel.com/ Myenergi - https://bit.ly/3oeWGnl

💡 KEY INSIGHTS

1. The 10‑second bedtime question that can break your denial

   Peterson describes a nightly exercise he calls “proper prayer”: sit on your bed and say, *“What’s one thing I’m doing wrong that I know I’m doing wrong, that I could fix, that I would fix?”* He says if you meditate on that sincerely, you will get an answer—and *“it won’t be one you want, but it’ll be the necessary one.”* Often, he says, the “answer” is embarrassingly small, like realizing your room is disgusting and that you’re “too proud” to clean it. He argues that getting on your knees to scrub the toilet and make real micro‑improvements is how you begin rapid, tectonic self-development.

   — Jordan Peterson

2. How ‘telling the truth’ saved a dying relationship

   Steven admits that in past relationships he wore a mask, trying to be who he thought his partner wanted. He says that as he was actually leaving a relationship, he finally “let down the mask” and started speaking his truth about how he felt and what he wanted. Paradoxically, *“the relationship got stronger than ever before. It was like we were never actually connected until I was being true with her.”* That experience, informed by Peterson’s work, became the foundation for what he now calls the strongest romantic connection he’s ever had.

   — Steven Bartlett

3. Stuck in a dead-end job? Peterson’s ruthless 6‑month plan

   Drawing on years of clinical work with everyone from the unemployed to top performers, Peterson walks through how he’d handle someone who feels trapped and undervalued at work. First, he has them drag out their neglected CV, confront the “holes” they’re ashamed of, and either realize they’re judging themselves too harshly or map a concrete plan—like taking online courses to finish a degree over the next six months. Only then, after applying for ~10 jobs and even getting offers, do they go to their boss and say, in essence: *“Here’s the extra value I bring, here’s what I could do with a 40% raise and a progression plan—and by the way, I have other opportunities.”* If the boss still shows contempt, that’s the signal it’s time to leave.

   — Jordan Peterson

4. ‘Nine-figure exit’ offer made him feel empty, not free

   Steven recalls the day someone offered to buy his company for a nine‑figure sum. Instead of euphoria, it “filled me with this emptiness and this dread,” and forced him to confront the role that struggle and chaos play in feeling alive. Peterson tells him this is exactly what he’d expect: *“We’re built to walk uphill… you reach the pinnacle of the hill… but the next thing you want is a higher hill in the distance.”* The problem, Peterson says, is staking your soul on an instrumental goal, then discovering that “Mai Tais on the beach” is just drugged unconsciousness and aimlessness.

   — Steven Bartlett & Jordan Peterson

5. University might be ‘90%’ about your friends, not lectures

   When asked about moving everything online, Peterson says we don’t even know what a university really is. Beyond cheap online lectures and tests, he argues, university is a *“credible excuse”* for young people to leave home, adopt an identity of upward striving, and reform their peer group. He says that for him, the most important part of college may have been remaking his friendship circle and learning reciprocal living with roommates—like the ex‑cowboy friend who intuitively alternated buying groceries and cooking without explicit bargaining. When he looks back, he suspects that the formal classes might have only been *“10% of it.”*

   — Jordan Peterson

6. Comedians run 200 ‘experiments’ to write one killer hour

   Peterson shares something he learned from comedian Jimmy Carr: before a big tour, comedians perform about 200 small shows, testing a corpus of new jokes. The audience either laughs or doesn’t. If you’re really listening, you ruthlessly keep only the lines that consistently get laughs; after 200 iterations, you have an hour that’s “nothing but hilarious material.” Peterson uses this as a model for helping others: not by forcing advice on them, but by asking real questions, listening carefully, and letting their responses shape what comes next.

   — Jordan Peterson (relaying Jimmy Carr)

7. ‘Brilliantly and terribly’: fame as a daily avalanche of pain

   When Steven asks, *“How are you doing?”* Peterson pauses, then answers: *“Brilliantly and terribly.”* He explains that wherever he goes, strangers approach him in tears with stories of being suicidal, nihilistic, homicidal, or trapped—and then tell him they’ve largely overcome it and thank him. He calls that *“really something”* and “better than happiness,” yet also “an awful thing,” because *“you see, even in the revelation of their triumph, the initial depth of their despair.”* He says he wouldn’t change it, but emphasizes that it’s “almost unbearable.”

   — Jordan Peterson

🎤 SPEAKERS

• Jordan Peterson

  guest

• Steven Bartlett

  host

🧾 EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of The Diary of a CEO, featuring Jordan Peterson and Steven Bartlett, Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be | E113 explores this conversation keeps circling one theme: meaning and transformation come from radical honesty—first with yourself, then with others. Whether it's a relationship, a dead-end job, a pandemic, or unexpected success, the people who grow are the ones willing to face their inadequacy, update their plans, and walk uphill toward a harder, more meaningful life. The stories show what that honesty looks like in the room: in a messy bedroom, a terrified salary negotiation, a collapsed founder, or a stranger crying in an airport. Jordan Peterson and Steven Bartlett explore how radical honesty, self-awareness, and personal responsibility form the basis of a meaningful life. Peterson explains the dangers of living through a persona, the power of setting courageous goals, and practical ways to escape dead-end careers and emotional ruts. They discuss privilege, struggle, technology, the pandemic response, and why aiming at 'happiness' is a shallow life strategy compared to pursuing goodness and meaning. The conversation is emotionally intense, culminating in Peterson describing the almost unbearable weight and beauty of hearing how his work has pulled people back from despair.

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