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The Diary of a CEOThe Diary of a CEO

No.1 Neuroscientist: NEW RESEARCH Your Life, Your Work & Your Sex Life Will Get Boring! (THE FIX)

If you enjoyed this episode, I recommend you check out my first conversation with Dr. Tali Sharot, which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DZK1nawEXQ 00:00 Intro 02:13 Who Are You? 03:13 How to Become the Person You Want to Be 05:14 Why Making Progress Has a Huge Motivational Impact on Us 06:54 The Importance of Variety in Our Workplace 08:27 What Is Habituation & How It Impacts Our Happiness 19:09 The Problem of Habituation with Our Partners and Sex Life 24:02 How to Keep Your Relationship Exciting 29:16 Midlife Crisis: Is It a Real Thing? 34:46 What Is Our Best Life & How to Find Happiness 36:53 The Surprising Link Between Habituation and Mental Health 42:40 The Science of How to Keep Teams Motivated & Creative 48:29 The Power of Taking Breaks and Small Changes 49:53 Here's How the Brain Tricks You to Believe Things That Aren't True 55:36 Checklist to Dehabituate Your Life 59:57 The Problem of Social Media and High Expectations 01:06:17 How to Achieve Your Goals 01:12:41 Why Incentives Work 01:16:02 Why Gen Z Wants to Change the World 01:19:32 How to Take Risks: Benefits & Disadvantages 01:24:34 Your Life & Work Are Better Than You Think; You Just Don't See It 01:27:26 The Impact of Quitting Social Media 01:29:17 Last Guest Question You can pre-order Dr. Sharot’s new book, ‘Look Again: The Power of Noticing What was Always There’, here: https://amzn.to/3QSU77i My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now: https://smarturl.it/DOACbook Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGq-a57w-aPwyi3pW7XLiHw/join FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://x.com/StevenBartlett?s=20 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Brand Sponsors: Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb ZOE: http://joinzoe.com with an exclusive code CEO10 for 10% off WHOOP: https://join.whoop.com/en-uk/CEO

Steven BartletthostDr. Tali Sharotguest
Nov 16, 20231h 31mWatch on YouTube ↗

CHAPTERS

  1. 0:00 – 4:20

    Intro, Guest Setup, and Tali Sharot’s Mission

    Steven introduces Dr. Tali Sharot and frames the conversation around keeping life, work, and relationships from becoming boring. Tali outlines her background integrating neuroscience, psychology, and economics to understand why people do what they do and how to change behavior for the better.

  2. 4:20 – 12:00

    Goals, Identity Change, and the Power of Visible Progress

    The discussion turns to personal change: how people move from who they are to who they want to be. Tali emphasizes building on existing strengths, creating vivid specific plans, and tracking progress as core tools for motivation.

  3. 12:00 – 24:00

    Habituation: Why the Brain Stops Responding to the Same Life

    Tali introduces habituation—the brain’s decreasing response to unchanging stimuli—as a fundamental principle that affects perception, relationships, and work. Visual illusions and everyday examples make the concept tangible.

  4. 24:00 – 38:00

    Variety, Holidays, and Why Shorter Breaks Beat Long Stretches

    Using research on music, massages, and vacations, Tali shows that breaking up pleasant experiences and creating repeated ‘firsts’ increases total enjoyment. This section builds a case for structuring life to avoid adaptation.

  5. 38:00 – 48:00

    Habituation in Relationships and Sex: Distance and Novelty

    The conversation applies habituation to romantic relationships and sex. Time apart and new shared experiences emerge as key tools to revive desire and appreciation without resorting to drastic measures.

  6. 48:00 – 58:00

    Choice, Variety, and The Explore–Exploit Balance in Couples

    Tali and Steven discuss how humans need some choice but not too much, and how couples often pair an explorer with an exploiter. This natural pairing may help dyads and teams strike an optimal life balance.

  7. 58:00 – 1:14:00

    Midlife Crisis, Plateaued Progress, and Redefining the ‘Best Life’

    The discussion moves into midlife unhappiness and the hedonic treadmill. Even objectively successful lives can feel stale when growth and novelty fade, prompting a re-think of what ‘best life’ really means.

  8. 1:14:00 – 1:26:00

    Depression, Slower Habituation, and Our Need for Meaning

    Tali explains how habituation speed relates to mental health, and why meaning, control, and social connection matter more for happiness than income. They also address why marriage boosts happiness only temporarily.

  9. 1:26:00 – 1:33:00

    New Jobs, Early Discomfort, and Why We Quit Too Soon

    The episode tackles why up to 40% of employees quit within six months, despite novelty being potentially joyful. The tension between adaptation, initial stress, and misprediction of feelings is unpacked.

  10. 1:33:00 – 1:44:00

    Designing Motivating Work: Variety, Challenge, and Learning for Teams

    Steven shares his own framework for what people need to love their jobs, and Tali connects it to research on learning, boredom, and creativity. They explore how managers can practically keep teams engaged.

  11. 1:44:00 – 1:56:00

    Habituation, Creativity, and Changing Environments for Insight

    Tali describes how slower habituation can support creativity and how small environmental changes—like working elsewhere or going for a walk—can trigger breakthroughs. She shares personal examples from her own research life.

  12. 1:56:00 – 2:08:00

    Belief Formation, Illusory Truth, and Message Design

    The focus shifts to how we form beliefs and how easily our sense of ‘truth’ is biased by repetition and cognitive ease. This has implications for media, marketing, and persuasion.

  13. 2:08:00 – 2:18:00

    A Checklist for De-Habituating Life: Where to Add and Where to Remove Variety

    Steven asks for a practical ‘checklist’ to de-habituate life. Tali clarifies when we should add novelty and when sameness is actually beneficial, especially for unpleasant tasks, and they translate this into work and daily life choices.

  14. 2:18:00 – 2:30:00

    Social Media, Expectations, and the Hidden Cost to Mental Health

    They examine how social media reshapes expectations and perceived quality of life, likening it to prisoners anticipating release. Tali shares experimental and correlational data linking platforms like Facebook to reduced wellbeing.

  15. 2:30:00 – 2:40:00

    Behavior Change, Discipline, and Incentives

    The final major section explores how to motivate behavior change, bridge the gap between present costs and future rewards, and use incentives—social, emotional, and financial—to build discipline.

  16. 2:40:00

    Meaning, Generational Aspirations, Risk, and Final Advice

    The episode closes by probing meaning, generational differences in aspirations, habituation to risk, and what Tali wants listeners to actually do. She urges small life experiments rather than drastic overhauls.

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