The Diary of a CEOThe Speaking Expert: How To Speak So Everyone Hears You! Julian Treasure
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 4:20
Why Being Heard Matters: Julian’s Path To TED Fame
Steven introduces Julian Treasure and frames the importance of speaking well. Julian recounts how his fifth TED Talk on ‘how to speak so that people want to listen’ exploded, shifted his career from audio branding to global speaking and writing, and why the topic resonated so widely.
- •Julian’s background in sound and his early confidence that ‘all will be well’.
- •Five sequential TED Talks let him refine the TED format and delivery discipline.
- •His ‘How to speak so that people want to listen’ talk rapidly became one of TED’s most viewed.
- •The success moved him into a career as a professional speaker and author.
- •Massive view count reveals many people feel unheard and crave tools to be listened to.
- 4:20 – 13:00
Why We Crave Being Heard More Than We Crave Listening
Julian explores the psychological drivers behind wanting to be heard—validation, significance, belonging, and ego gratification. He contrasts the popularity of his speaking versus listening talks and explains how ego and the desire to be right distort public discourse.
- •Speaking TED talk vastly outperforms listening TED talk—evidence of cultural bias.
- •Being heard gives us tribal belonging, a sense of mattering, and ego affirmation.
- •Eckhart Tolle’s ideas on ego and the need to be right underpin many conflicts.
- •Making a difference can be altruistic, but is often entangled with ego needs.
- •Modern silos and outrage are fueled by people seeking confirmation that they’re right.
- 13:00 – 23:40
The Vocal Toolbox: Transforming A ‘Boring’ Voice
The conversation turns deeply practical as Julian defines the ‘vocal toolbox’ and why delivery matters alongside content. He shares Chris Anderson’s view on content vs delivery, and offers concrete ways anyone can improve vocal impact.
- •Content edges delivery in importance, but poor delivery wastes great content.
- •Most CEOs speak constantly yet almost none have vocal training.
- •Key tools: breathing, posture, prosody (intonation, rhythm), timbre, and comfort with silence.
- •Monotone delivery severely limits engagement, especially for long-form content like podcasts.
- •Recording yourself and/or hiring a coach are effective ways to diagnose and improve.
- 23:40 – 33:40
Breath, Nerves, And Variety: Foundations Of Vocal Power
Julian dives into breathing practices and vocal variety as practical levers for better speaking. He explains resonant breathing, nervous system regulation, and how cultural differences affect accepted prosody.
- •Resonant breathing (in through nose, out audibly through mouth) deepens breath and calms nerves.
- •Diaphragmatic breathing (stomach, not chest) powers voice and supports long phrases.
- •Deep breaths on stage instantly stabilize pitch and presence.
- •Variety in pitch, pace, and rhythm prevents boredom and carries emotion.
- •Prosody norms differ across cultures (e.g., restrained Scandinavia vs more expressive Latin cultures).
- 33:40 – 44:40
Prosody, Silence, And The Art Of Self-Coaching
The pair unpack prosody further and discuss habits like fillers and over-talking. Julian outlines how to self-coach by reviewing recordings and intentionally practicing silence and expressive reading.
- •Prosody = intonation + rhythm + emphasis; it’s ‘root one’ for emotional resonance.
- •Some actors can’t actually read aloud engagingly; it’s a distinct skill.
- •Silence is a powerful tool; filling gaps with ‘um’ and ‘you know’ erodes authority.
- •Self-coaching: record, review, and deliberately adjust speed, tone, and filler usage.
- •Professional help can target specific issues like squeaky or scratchy timbre.
- 44:40 – 55:30
Confidence, Introversion, And Growing Through Public Speaking
Julian reflects on confidence as a byproduct of repetition, not personality, and shares his own introversion and boarding school conditioning. They discuss nerves, over-rehearsal, and authenticity versus performance.
- •Many top TED speakers are introverts; public speaking can be learned.
- •Repetition (like driving a car) reduces fear; nerves remain, but become performance fuel.
- •Overconfident, over-rehearsed talks can feel inauthentic and manipulative (e.g., ‘scripted tears’).
- •It’s acceptable—and often bonding—to admit forgetting lines; audiences are on your side.
- •Authenticity (the A in HAIL) is easier and more powerful than playing a persona.
- 55:30 – 1:07:00
Authenticity, Virtue Signaling, And The Cost Of Inauthentic Lives
They explore authenticity in modern media culture, including staged vulnerability and virtue signaling. Steven shares stories of guests who burned out from living inauthentic public identities, while Julian emphasizes that real authenticity requires knowing your values.
- •People are better at detecting inauthenticity than we assume (e.g., ‘crying CEO’ selfie).
- •Virtue signaling and social posturing are often quickly sniffed out.
- •Long-term inauthenticity in public roles often leads to breakdown or crisis.
- •Knowing your values is prerequisite to being authentic; otherwise you’re improvising a self.
- •Julian argues that our ‘need to be right’ fuels polarization and cancel culture.
- 1:07:00 – 1:26:40
FLAG: Defining Values As Your Moral Compass
Julian introduces his personal values acronym FLAG—Faith, Love, Acceptance, Gratitude—and explains how explicit values guide choices and communication. Steven wrestles with how to distinguish conditioned values from genuine ones.
- •Values are North Stars: beliefs you’ll sacrifice for and use to navigate life.
- •Faith: a deep conviction that ‘all will be well,’ enabling risk-taking and optimism.
- •Love: wishing others well (e.g., silently saying ‘bless you’ to strangers changes your inner state).
- •Acceptance: going with the flow of opportunities and accepting people as they are.
- •Gratitude: deliberately focusing on what’s good, especially when feeling low, as an attention practice.
- 1:26:40 – 1:41:40
Validation, Active Listening, And Repairing Relationships
The focus returns to listening in relationships and work. Julian outlines his three-step model for active listening—reflection, validation, contribution—and explains how invalidation fuels endless arguments and even selective deafness.
- •Active listening stages: reflect (repeat/confirm), validate (it makes sense you feel that), then contribute.
- •You can fully disagree yet still validate the logic of how someone reached their view.
- •Chronic invalidation in couples leads to repeated looping arguments.
- •Stress-Induced Audio Dysfunction: people can literally ‘tune out’ nagging, including a spouse’s frequency.
- •Negative language habits (‘no, not, can’t’) correlate with habitual invalidation.
- 1:41:40 – 1:54:00
RASA: A Practical Formula For Everyday Listening
Julian teaches RASA—Receive, Appreciate, Summarize, Ask—as a memorable framework to improve moment-to-moment listening. They connect it to conflict resolution, sales, and the rarity of undivided attention in a distracted world.
- •Receive: face the person, give full attention, don’t multitask (no texting while ‘listening’).
- •Appreciate: small verbal and non-verbal cues (‘oh’, ‘really?’, nods) oil the interaction.
- •Summarize: use ‘so…’ properly to close loops and check you understood.
- •Ask: curious questions deepen understanding and help link to your own knowledge.
- •True listening precludes doing anything else and is the #1 deficit cited in relationships.
- 1:54:00 – 2:05:00
Speaking With Authority And Setting Attention ‘Contracts’
They tackle how less powerful people can speak with authority in rooms full of senior figures. Julian recommends explicit mini-contracts for attention and shares a story of a child Coke seller who unconsciously mastered authentic salesmanship.
- •Authority is partly created by explicitly asking for and securing time and attention.
- •Phrasing like ‘Do you have five minutes?’ creates a mutual obligation.
- •If someone breaks the attentional contract, you can politely renegotiate timing.
- •In meetings, asking for a moment (‘Can I share something that might help?’) opens a listening channel.
- •The Indian beach vendor story illustrates honesty, persistence, and time-based agreements in sales.
- 2:05:00 – 2:16:20
HAIL In Practice: When Not To Be ‘Brutally Honest’
Julian revisits HAIL—Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, Love—focusing on honesty’s limits. He distinguishes facts from opinions and warns against weaponizing truth under the banner of ‘brutal honesty,’ especially when it’s really just unfiltered judgment.
- •Always-on ruthless honesty can be socially destructive and unnecessary.
- •Most of what we call ‘truth’ in conversation is actually opinion or judgment.
- •Ethical speech filters honesty through love and respect for the listener.
- •Growing up with a domineering, always-right parent conditioned Julian to fear conflict and over-argued opinions.
- •Asking before offering opinions (‘Would you like my opinion?’) would radically improve many interactions.
- 2:16:20 – 2:26:40
Fixing, Grief, And The Power Of Telling Hard Stories
They examine ‘fixing’—refusing to let others be upset—as one of four ‘leeches’ that damage communication. Julian shares a family story about a hidden stillbirth and his own child’s death to illustrate the harm of concealment and the healing of involving children honestly.
- •Fixing = trying to stop others feeling negative emotions around you (‘don’t cry, don’t be upset’).
- •Julian’s aunt learned lifelong mistrust when her parents hid her stillborn sibling to ‘protect’ her.
- •He and his partner chose radical openness with their daughter about her stillborn sister, Lilly.
- •Grief and upset are natural and often necessary; suppressing them damages trust and processing.
- •Deep, vulnerable stories hold listeners’ attention more strongly than abstract advice.
- 2:26:40 – 2:36:40
Storytelling And ‘The Listening You’re Speaking Into’
The pair dissect why stories are so gripping and how speakers can use them strategically. Julian stresses tailoring content to the audience’s ‘listening’—their context, expectations, and state—and Steven reflects on how story-first talks fueled his own business success.
- •Stories compress complex ideas into memorable, emotional packages (e.g., Ken Robinson’s ‘God drawing’ story).
- •Classic elements—protagonist, antagonist, journey, obstacles, resolution—can be delivered in seconds.
- •Starting a story and deferring the ending sustains curiosity throughout a talk.
- •Steven’s social media agency grew largely through storytelling on stage, not outbound sales.
- •Great communicators constantly ask, ‘What’s the listening here?’ and adjust tone, pacing, and content.
- 2:36:40 – 2:49:40
Sound’s Four Effects And The Case For Audio Branding
Julian explains how sound alters our bodies, feelings, cognition, and behavior, using research and examples. He then pivots to audio branding, arguing that every business already has a sound identity—usually unmanaged and often harmful.
- •Physiological: sound affects heart rate, breathing, hormones (e.g., startle sounds trigger cortisol).
- •Emotional: sounds like rain on leaves, surf, or birdsong calm or reassure us.
- •Cognitive: speech noise severely impairs thinking; open-plan offices cut knowledge work productivity by ~⅔.
- •Behavioral: background music subtly steers choices (e.g., French vs German wine sales).
- •Companies unintentionally brand through hold music, call systems, reception TVs, machine beeps, etc.
- •Good audio branding: consistent, non-irritating, emotionally aligned sonic elements (e.g., Intel’s 4-note logo).
- 2:49:40 – 3:05:40
Social Media, Outrage, And Listening As Democratic Glue
They connect listening to politics and social media dynamics: outrage, shaming, and echo chambers. Julian argues that listening—even to uncomfortable or extreme views—is vital for democracy and personal growth.
- •Social platforms can turn minor missteps into life-destroying mob shaming.
- •Labels like ‘racist’ or ‘homophobe’ stick easily and are hard to disprove once viral.
- •Outrage addiction and cancel culture are expressions of the egoic need to be right.
- •Steven intentionally follows people who make him uncomfortable to counter echo chambers.
- •Listening to opposing views helps distinguish core values from mere social conditioning.
- •Without listening across differences, politics devolves into entrenched, hostile bunkers.
- 3:05:40
One More Thing: Growth, Health, And A Life Of Small Steps
In the closing tradition, Julian answers a question from the previous guest about the ‘one more thing’ he’d love to do. He shares his desire to take on Scotland’s Munros as a long-term walking challenge and reflects on small daily growth and his ongoing struggle with food and health habits.
- •Julian aspires to climb at least one Munro (Scottish peak) a year as a lifelong challenge.
- •He emphasizes life as a spiral staircase: grow a little every day, even by learning ‘how not to do it.’
- •Despite strong fitness habits, he wrestles with long-ingrained emotional ties to food.
- •Steven suggests many health issues are fundamentally psychological and might benefit from therapy.
- •They close by acknowledging the privilege of revisiting conversations and the transformative potential of conscious speaking and listening.
