The Diary of a CEO

The Surprising & Unbelievable Dark Side Of Open Relationships: Aubrey Marcus | E242

Aubrey founded Onnit in 2010. The company was built upon the philosophy of providing its customers with the supplements and equipment necessary to achieve 'Total Human Optimization'. It was the release of the nootropic Alpha BRAIN in 2011 and the partnership with Joe Rogan that Onnit began to achieve rapid success. Aubrey stepped down as Onnit's CEO in 2020 and since then founded the coaching platform 'Fit For Service', as well as hosting the 'Aubrey Marcus Podcast'. Topics: 0:00 Intro 02:03 Your mission & early context 17:14 The influence of your parents 29:34 How to become self-aware 32:15 Your vision quest 36:03 Meeting Joe Rogan & building a company with him 46:37 Advice for businesses that think they're "too late" 01:01:13 Love & the truth about polyamory 01:21:21 How to make any relationship work 01:38:17 The thing you're doing wrong that you need to fix 01:45:06 Fit for Service 01:49:55 The last guest's question Aubrey: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3L8pI1P Youtube: https://bit.ly/41VUTEm Aubrey is the author of ‘Own the Day, Own Your Life’, which you can purchase here: https://bit.ly/41QJXYw Our question cards waiting list: https://bit.ly/3ZzQfKz Join this channel to get access to perks: https://bit.ly/3Dpmgx5 Follow:  Instagram: http://bit.ly/3nIkGAZ Twitter: http://bit.ly/3ztHuHm Linkedin: https://bit.ly/41Fl95Q Telegram: http://bit.ly/3nJYxST Sponsors:  Whoop: http://bit.ly/3MbapaY Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb Bluejeans: https://g2ul0.app.link/NCgpGjVNKsb

AMAubrey MarcusguestSBSteven Bartletthost

Apr 27, 2023·1h 47m·Watch on YouTube ↗

📖 CHAPTERS

1. 1
   3:30 – 12:20

   Origins: Four Parents, Psychedelics, and the Birth of a Mission

   Marcus describes his unusual family constellation and how it seeded his drive for greatness and inner exploration. A formative psychedelic experience at 18 turned his quest for knowledge inward and eventually led to his concept of psychonautics.

2. 2
   12:20 – 19:40

   From ‘I Want To Be Big’ To ‘How Can I Serve?’

   Marcus reflects on how his early ambitions were driven by a desire to be ‘big’ like his parents. Over time, entrepreneurial success allowed him to relax the egoic need for significance and reorient his mission toward serving the world.

3. 3
   19:40 – 35:00

   Inherited Rage, Approval Addiction, and Turning Pain into Superpowers

   He unpacks the psychological inheritance from his father: brilliance, worry, and explosive anger. A shame-filled outburst at an employee becomes the catalyst for ending that generational pattern and for developing his communication gift.

4. 4
   35:00 – 42:00

   Awareness Through Psychonautics: Medicines, Breathwork, and Inner Cosmos

   Marcus explains how psychedelics and other altered-state practices became his primary tool for self-awareness. He stresses that while his path isn’t prescriptive, these technologies allowed him to see hidden ‘puppet masters’ in his psyche.

5. 5
   42:00 – 54:30

   Failure, Fate, and the Coffee That Built Onnit

   The conversation traces Marcus’s decade of failed ventures and how a carefully engineered coffee with Joe Rogan unlocked the formula for Onnit. He details the early Alpha Brain launch, scrappy financing, and the rocket-like growth that followed.

6. 6
   54:30 – 1:18:00

   Onnit’s Rocket Ship: Numbers, Crashes, and Values in Action

   Marcus quantifies Onnit’s growth and shares key crises that tested his ethics and leadership. He shows how clear vision, all-in commitment, and radical transparency turned existential threats into deeper trust and eventual acquisition by Unilever.

7. 7
   1:18:00 – 1:27:00

   Shifting Roles: From CEO Operator to Visionary Founder

   Having exited Onnit, Marcus explains why he no longer wants to be a traditional CEO. He prefers to play a Branson-like role—vision, relationships, and narrative—while competent operators handle execution.

8. 8
   1:27:00 – 1:57:00

   The Dark-Side Education of Polyamory

   Marcus recounts his eight-year polyamorous chapter with partner Whitney, driven by both ethics (refusal to cheat) and a philosophical belief in non-possessive love. The reality is far more painful than he expected, teaching him hard truths about ego, jealousy, and identity.

9. 9
   1:57:00 – 2:11:00

   Choosing Monogamy and Loving Without Compromise

   After polyamory, Marcus meets and marries Vylana, describing a love that feels uncompromising and deeply aligned. He emphasizes that this ‘no compromise’ monogamy is maintained through robust tools for conflict, constant emotional work, and shared spiritual practice.

10. 10
    2:11:00 – 2:34:00

    Conflict, Ego, and Eliminating the Monster That Eats Love

    The pair explore how everyday conflicts reveal ego and how quickly owning your part shortens suffering. Marcus shares specific practices he and Vylana use and aligns them with research on contempt and relationship breakdown.

11. 11
    2:34:00 – 2:48:00

    Vulnerability, Addictions to Up and Down, and Being Held Accountable

    Using a question-card exercise, Marcus candidly admits his ongoing struggle with reliance on stimulants and sleep meds. He connects this to his broader ethos of awareness, accountability, and letting plant medicines keep his stories honest.

12. 12
    2:48:00 – 3:09:00

    Fit For Service: Healing and Initiation Through Community

    Marcus outlines his Fit For Service community as a modern ‘Jedi school’ for collective healing and growth. He describes the modalities used and the kinds of lifelong bonds participants form through intense shared experiences.

13. 13
    3:09:00

    Forgiving Empire and Closing Reflections on Mission

    In a final reflective exercise, Marcus is asked whom he still needs to forgive and lands on ‘empire’—the web of political, corporate, and media power. He ties this to his overarching narrative of fellowship against dystopian control and the role of conversations like this in building that fellowship.