Why We're Getting More Depressed, Anxious and Lonely | E55

Bartlett’s yearly ‘get shredded for summer’ cycle kept collapsing because his goals were about looking good for others, within a fixed summer deadline. When summer (and the Instagram praise) ended, so did his motivation. He broke the pattern by reframing exercise around how it makes him feel year‑round—better sleep, energy, self‑discipline, sex life—none of which have a finish line or depend on external approval.

He emphasizes that until you consciously examine why you want something—why that timing, why that metric—you’re being controlled by insecurity, ego, or old trauma. Practically, this means asking successive ‘why’ questions about your goals (e.g., why summer, why that car, why that job) and having enough humility to accept uncomfortable answers instead of defending your ego.

Contrasting hunter‑gatherer life with today, he notes that most modern ‘wellbeing hacks’ (therapy, nature, digital detoxes, simple routines) are just crude attempts to recreate how humans lived for millennia. Actionably, he suggests cultivating close relationships, simplifying your schedule, spending deliberate time in nature, walking instead of driving when possible, moving daily, and eating in a way that resembles whole, minimally processed food rather than delivery‑app convenience.

Using his friend’s burnout and his own experience as a highly paid but miserable freelancer, Bartlett argues that when work is driven mainly by extrinsic rewards (money, status, things) and stripped of intrinsic rewards (belonging, joy, meaning, shared mission), fatigue and ‘burnout’ are almost inevitable. The remedy is to seek or design work where you like the people, believe in the mission, and enjoy the process—so effort feels like investment, not pure sacrifice.

Post‑exit, he’s bombarded with attractive offers but points out that every ‘yes’ costs finite time and dilutes his ability to pursue great opportunities aligned with his long‑term identity. His method: define clearly who you want to become; ask whether a given opportunity brings you closer; assume that better versions of most opportunities will recur if you stay on your path; and assign a high notional hourly rate (e.g., $1,000+), using it to filter out anything that doesn’t meet that bar.