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The Diary of a CEOThe Diary of a CEO

Why We're Getting More Depressed, Anxious and Lonely | E55

In this episode of The Diary Of A CEO titled "Fitting In Is A Curse" I discuss: 0:00 Intro 02:01 How I've FINALLY fixed / figured out why we lose motivation 11:31 Why people are more depressed and anxious (and a cure) 23:13 Humans have no idea what they want 39:51 Key to success: Avoiding good opportunities so you have time to devote to great opportunities. 43:16 Why I don't think marriage is the right answer. 49:15 Why you should NOT "Fit in". Listen on: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/episode/0hduJfz497WZ5fMQSBdKbg?si=mHN1qmBJR-Kwi2ySNWDeNA Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/e55-why-were-getting-more-depressed-anxious-and-lonely/id1291423644?i=1000496904768 My book pre-order: (UK, US, AUS, NZ Link) - http://hyperurl.co/xenkw2 (EU & Rest of the World Link) https://www.bookdepository.com/Happy-Sexy-Millionaire-Steven-Bartlett/9781529301496?ref=grid-view&qid=1610300058833&sr=1-2 FOLLOW ► Facebook: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettFacebook Twitter: http://bit.ly/SteveSCTwitter Instagram: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettInstagram Linkedin: http://bit.ly/StevenBartlettLinkedIn

Steven Bartletthost
Nov 2, 202053mWatch on YouTube ↗

CHAPTERS

  1. 0:00 – 3:50

    Introduction: From Life-Changing Guest To Personal Diary

    Bartlett opens by reflecting on the previous week’s guest episode and how deeply it affected him, especially around depression, anxiety and burnout. He explains that audience feedback has pushed him toward more raw, anecdotal episodes, framing this one as a direct dive into his diary from the past week.

  2. 3:50 – 10:40

    Breaking The ‘Summer Body’ Cycle: Extrinsic vs Intrinsic Motivation

    He dissects his annual pattern of getting in shape for summer, then losing motivation and regaining weight by winter. Through self-analysis and research for his book, he realizes his goals were extrinsically and time-bound, and shows how reframing to intrinsic, lifelong motives finally stabilized his habits.

  3. 10:40 – 18:20

    Consistency Over Intensity: Understanding What Actually Drives You

    Building on his fitness story, Bartlett explores why intensity surges (crash diets, all‑nighters) often signal past inconsistency. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the true forces behind your behavior, arguing that most people are driven largely by unconscious, extrinsic motives.

  4. 18:20 – 35:50

    Journey Back To Human: Tribe, Simplicity, Nature and Movement

    Bartlett contrasts modern life with how humans lived tens of thousands of years ago, arguing that many mental health problems are calls to return to more ‘human’ ways of living. He highlights lost connections, simplicity, time in nature, and physical activity as core missing elements in contemporary lifestyles.

  5. 35:50 – 46:40

    Burnout, Luck and The Trap of Extrinsic ‘Success’

    He recounts a conversation with a successful friend who admits feeling burnt out despite being ‘lucky’. Bartlett unpacks how defining success purely in terms of money, house and car—and a pandemic that strips work of its intrinsic rewards—creates widespread burnout and misdiagnosed motivation problems.

  6. 46:40 – 58:20

    Insecurity, Validation and The Cost of Extrinsic North Stars

    Bartlett digs into how childhood insecurity shapes adult definitions of success, using both himself and his friend as examples. He explains how chasing external validation through material displays leads to emptiness, and shares how selling his dream Range Rover was more meaningful than buying it.

  7. 58:20 – 1:09:10

    Freelancer Depression and The Centrality of Purpose

    Using his friend’s solo business and his own stint as a highly paid consultant, Bartlett coins the idea of ‘freelancer depression’. He argues that working alone on others’ projects for purely financial reasons, especially during a pandemic, strips away intrinsic meaning and turns life into a purpose vacuum.

  8. 1:09:10 – 1:16:10

    Saying No To Good To Make Space For Great

    Newly ‘unemployed’ after leaving Social Chain, Bartlett describes being inundated with lucrative offers and the difficulty of declining them. He shares a decision framework centered on long‑term identity, opportunity recurrence, and assigning a high monetary value to his time to focus only on the highest‑impact pursuits.

  9. 1:16:10 – 1:25:00

    Questioning Marriage and Monogamy: Contracts, Love and Human Nature

    Bartlett tentatively shares his evolving skepticism about marriage and the assumption of lifelong monogamy. Influenced by his parents’ toxic marriage and broader first‑principles thinking, he questions legal and religious contracts in love, and speculates that strict monogamy may be more a social construct than a natural impulse.

  10. 1:25:00 – 1:33:00

    The Curse of Fitting In and The Meaning of Being Yourself

    In his final reflection, Bartlett argues that conforming to social expectations is a subtle prison that undermines happiness and authenticity. He describes how shedding the need to fit in and being fully ‘Steve’ has driven both his success and fulfillment, and suggests that life’s deeper project may be becoming more human and more truly oneself.

  11. 1:33:00

    Closing Call-To-Action and Community Invitation

    Bartlett wraps up by asking listeners and viewers to support the show through reviews, likes, subscriptions and comments. He offers a chance to join him backstage at a live Diary of a CEO show as an incentive to engage, reinforcing the sense of community around the podcast.

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