How to Make a Gameplan for Unsafe Situations — Brought To You by Life360

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   Intro

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      [upbeat music]

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   Reframing: “I have a good kid” and unsafe situations happen

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      Let's talk about making a gameplan with your kid for unsafe situations. First things first, you have a good kid. Remind yourself of that. "I have a good kid." And good kids often do face unsafe situations. It's not often their fault they're there, and we want your kid to know exactly what to do to get out of that situation, and that's where you come in. I always tell parents that they need

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   Two truths to communicate: rules for safety + unconditional help

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      to explain to their kid two things that are both true: "Look, part of my job as your parent is to set some guidelines that really help keep you safe, and the other part of my job is if you're in a situation that's not safe, my job is to be there for you. You're never going to get in trouble for contacting me when you need help." So how do you do this? Tell your kid that you should come up with some type of code,

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   Create a discreet code text your child can use

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      something they can text you so you can help them out. Often it's something like this: "Hey, do I have soccer in the morning?" And then when you get that message, you write back, "Yes, you do. In fact, I need to pick you up right now." See, a lot of kids are worried, "Ooh, someone's gonna see me text my parent. They're gonna think I'm a loser. I can't just write, 'I need your help.'" And so giving your kid a kind

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   Why coded language works: reducing peer pressure and increasing follow-through

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      of secret language that feels almost nebulous, like it doesn't mean anything, but the two of you know it's a special code, first of all, they're going to feel connected to you just by the very fact that you're suggesting this, and then two, they're going to be a lot more likely to actually use it because they're not as worried about peer pressure. And then if your kid actually uses this, I know it's tempting when you pick your kid up to lecture them,

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   What to say after pickup: validate first, lecture later

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      to talk about how not to be in that situation again. That's something that can wait. When you pick up your kid or see them after they've reached out to you, just lead with this: "I'm so glad you reached out to me. That's exactly what you're supposed to do."

Episode duration: 2:27