Good Inside with Dr. BeckyHow to Make a Gameplan for Unsafe Situations — Brought To You by Life360
At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
A parent-child safety plan: code texts, no-judgment pickup support always
- Parents should start by reminding themselves their child is “a good kid,” because good kids can still end up in unsafe situations that may not be their fault.
- Kids need to hear two truths at once: parents set safety guidelines, and parents will always help if something becomes unsafe—without the child getting in trouble for reaching out.
- Creating a discreet code text (e.g., an ordinary question) helps kids ask for help without peers noticing, reducing fear of judgment and increasing follow-through.
- When a child uses the plan, parents should prioritize emotional safety by responding with gratitude and immediate help, saving any lectures or debriefs for later.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasStart with a non-blaming mindset: “I have a good kid.”
This framing helps parents approach safety planning with steadiness and empathy rather than suspicion, and it communicates that unsafe situations can happen even to responsible kids.
Tell kids they won’t get in trouble for asking for help.
Explicitly promising support reduces the fear that calling you will lead to punishment, making it more likely they’ll contact you quickly when safety is at risk.
Teach the two-part message: guidelines exist, and rescue is always available.
Kids can accept boundaries more easily when they also know the parent’s job includes showing up for them the moment things feel unsafe.
Use a “normal-sounding” code text to bypass peer pressure.
A bland message like “Do I have soccer in the morning?” lets a child signal distress without exposing themselves socially, while still clearly cueing the parent to act.
Respond as if it’s routine—then initiate pickup immediately.
Replying in the same ordinary tone (“Yes—also I need to pick you up right now”) protects the child’s privacy and provides a clear, actionable exit.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesFirst things first, you have a good kid. Remind yourself of that. "I have a good kid."
— Dr. Becky
"Look, part of my job as your parent is to set some guidelines that really help keep you safe, and the other part of my job is if you're in a situation that's not safe, my job is to be there for you. You're never going to get in trouble for contacting me when you need help."
— Dr. Becky
"Ooh, someone's gonna see me text my parent. They're gonna think I'm a loser. I can't just write, 'I need your help.'"
— Dr. Becky
"Hey, do I have soccer in the morning?"
— Dr. Becky
"I'm so glad you reached out to me. That's exactly what you're supposed to do."
— Dr. Becky
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