Nobody Prepared Me for This Part of New Parenthood | Hannah Bronfman & Brendan Fallis

Hannah Bronfman thought getting pregnant would be easy. She'd spent a decade in wellness, she was healthy, she was young. Then came two and a half years of trying, a miscarriage, failed cycles, and eventually IVF. Ten days after finally giving birth to their son Preston — in the middle of a pandemic — she virtually interviewed Barack Obama. She was wearing an adult diaper. Hannah and her husband Brendan Fallis join Dr. Becky to talk about the parts of new parenthood that don't make the highlights reel: what fertility struggles actually feel like from the inside, the maternal health fears that don't go away even when you have the best care, and the specific kind of panic that hits the moment you leave the hospital with a baby and realize no one is coming with you. They also talk about a parenting philosophy they both arrived at early: their kids were going to live their life, not the other way around. Why that's not selfish. And why it might be one of the best things you can do for a child. Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible: - Pipette: Get 15% off Pipette’s line of SPF products with the code GOODINSIDESPF at pipettebaby.com - LMNT: Get a free 8-count sample pack with your purchase at drinkLMNT.com/goodinside - Airbnb: Host your home or book your next stay on Airbnb

Hannah BronfmanguestDr. Becky KennedyhostBrendan Fallisguest

Jun 11, 202634mWatch on YouTube ↗

CHAPTERS

0:00 – 1:54
Postpartum curveball: Interviewing Barack Obama in an adult diaper
Hannah opens with a jaw-dropping early-postpartum story: receiving an offer to interview President Barack Obama just days after giving birth. Dr. Becky frames the series’ purpose—capturing the moments of new parenthood that “rattle” us—and tees up the episode’s theme of integrating a baby into an already-built life.
- •Hannah gets a major work opportunity three days postpartum
- •Reality of postpartum recovery (adult diaper) collides with professional demands
- •Dr. Becky introduces the podcast and the guests
- •Episode focus: bringing baby into parents’ life, not losing the parents’ life
1:54 – 4:18
Who they were before kids: personality, identity, and former-life nostalgia
Dr. Becky asks Hannah and Brendan to describe who they were before Preston arrived. Hannah describes herself as fun, adventurous, outgoing, and previously a people-pleaser; Brendan describes himself as hardworking, entrepreneurial, and less outwardly social.
- •Hannah: novelty-seeking, adventurous, present, outgoing, loyal
- •Motherhood shifting Hannah away from people-pleasing
- •Brendan: focused, entrepreneurial, enjoys travel/athletics
- •Both note it feels distant to recall their pre-kid identities
4:18 – 6:19
The long road to pregnancy: infertility, treatments, miscarriage, and IVF
Hannah and Brendan recount a longer-than-expected journey to pregnancy that challenged assumptions Hannah held as a wellness figure. They detail the progression from trying naturally to specialists, medicated cycles, IUIs, miscarriage, and ultimately IVF.
- •2.5-year timeline to pregnancy despite expectations of ease
- •Escalation of interventions: specialist, planned cycles, Clomid, IUIs
- •Miscarriage as part of the process
- •IVF success after multiple attempts; language around “failed” implantation
6:19 – 9:00
Why they went public: sharing loss, breaking stigma, and helping others
They explain the decision to document their fertility struggles online, noting how silence fuels shame and isolation. Brendan shares how their openness unexpectedly became deeply meaningful to others, creating community and hope.
- •Decision to vlog/share because the topic felt taboo and “dark”
- •Being early in their friend group to try made it lonelier
- •Sharing stories reduces shame and the sense of being “broken”
- •Audience impact: messages about hope and “rainbow babies”
9:00 – 9:47
Dr. Becky on stories and shame: ‘perfectly predictable’ surprises in motherhood
Dr. Becky connects their openness to a broader point: generations of women are caught off-guard by common experiences because people don’t talk about them. She emphasizes that stories are a primary tool for learning and reducing shame, especially around miscarriage.
- •Lack of sharing leads to avoidable shock in parenthood
- •Stories are how people learn and normalize hard experiences
- •Miscarriage is statistically common yet often hidden
- •Sharing can’t remove pain but can reduce isolation
9:47 – 12:04
Early postpartum + career pressure: saying yes to Obama during the pandemic
Hannah zooms into the first days after Preston’s birth, when a major opportunity arrived amid postpartum brain fog and COVID-era uncertainty. She describes feeling honored and overwhelmed, pushing through preparation and execution shortly after delivery.
- •Email arrives three days postpartum; interview scheduled within a week
- •Pandemic context amplifies stress and alters work realities
- •Self-employed challenges: hard to take real maternity leave
- •She completes the interview 10 days postpartum, feeling surreal/out-of-body
12:04 – 14:54
The ‘maternity leave’ slippery slope and the surrealness of postpartum reality
They reflect on the momentum that followed—how one ‘yes’ can shorten rest and reset expectations. The conversation underscores the mismatch between public-facing moments and private postpartum realities like leaking, recovery routines, and adult diapers.
- •Brendan notes the “slippery slope” of opportunity momentum
- •Obama moment: he inadvertently announces baby’s name before they did
- •Postpartum logistics: diapers, sitz baths, managing physical recovery
- •Theme: resilience and ‘getting it done’ while body is still healing
14:54 – 18:49
Birth mindset and maternal health fears: ‘Don’t let me become a statistic’
Hannah explains her approach to birth: flexible on the method, firm on the goal of health and survival. She shares candid fears shaped by the U.S. maternal health crisis for Black women, and describes advocating for herself during labor while feeling supported by her care team.
- •Mindset: adaptable to outcomes (induction, vaginal, C-section) if baby is healthy
- •Maternal health crisis for Black women drives heightened vigilance
- •Balancing protective positivity with hearing hard stories
- •Felt listened to; partner support and strong medical team mattered
18:49 – 19:50
Ad break: the mid-afternoon ‘everything is harder’ moment and hydration reset
Dr. Becky pivots briefly to an ad about recognizing the daily parenting dip when decisions feel unusually taxing. She positions electrolyte drinks as a small, practical support for caretakers during long, demanding days.
- •Common afternoon parenting slump framed as predictable and manageable
- •Hydration as a lever for regulation and stamina
- •Product: LMNT sparkling electrolyte drinks (grab-and-go, no sugar)
- •Call to action with link and free gift offer
19:50 – 22:03
A dad’s first days: leaving the hospital and realizing you’re ‘untrained’
Brendan describes the shock of hospital-to-home transition—going from constant support to total responsibility. He recounts the anxiety of the first car ride, fear of harm, and the hypervigilance of checking whether the baby is breathing.
- •Hospital feels safe; departure feels abrupt and surreal
- •Car ride home: heightened fear and fragility mindset
- •New-parent hypervigilance around sleep and breathing
- •Perspective shift by second child: less panic, more confidence
22:03 – 25:29
Their philosophy: kids join the parents’ life (and why that can help everyone)
Brendan outlines the approach he and Hannah agreed on: their children would come into their existing lifestyle rather than the parents disappearing into child-centered scheduling. Dr. Becky expands the idea into a long-term developmental framework around flexibility and family foundations.
- •Two ‘camps’ idea: live your kid’s life vs. kid lives your life (with nuance)
- •They travel often, bring kids along, prioritize adaptability
- •Kids gain confidence reading new environments
- •Dr. Becky: early patterns build the ‘foundation’ for flexibility later
25:29 – 28:35
What parenthood changed in them: patience, play, and unexpected skill sets
Hannah reflects on becoming more patient—especially compared to her self-criticism during the fertility journey—while Brendan shares surprise at his ability to play creatively at a child’s level. They illustrate how new identities and competencies emerge through parenting.
- •Hannah: increased patience, tries alternatives before raising her voice
- •Energy matching: kids respond to her calm approach
- •Brendan: discovers imaginative play/storytelling ability
- •Example bedtime story becomes a shared family narrative
28:35 – 34:16
Legacy hopes: what they want their kids to say—and Dr. Becky’s closing lesson on schedules
They answer what they hope their kids will remember: presence, love, confidence-building, authenticity, and purpose—alongside working and having a nontraditional lifestyle. Dr. Becky closes with a personal story about missing a chance to see friends due to nap-schedule rigidity, reinforcing the episode’s central message: your baby can come into your life, and it matters for your wellbeing too.
- •Hannah: wants to be remembered as present, fun, safe, confidence-building
- •Brendan: wants kids to feel he was consistently ‘there’ and true to himself
- •Hannah: hopes kids see purpose and work coexisting with presence
- •Dr. Becky: regrets letting schedules isolate her; one nap won’t ‘ruin everything’