Nobody Prepared Me for This Part of New Parenthood | Hannah Bronfman & Brendan Fallis

Hannah Bronfman 0:00 About three days after giving birth, I got a email saying that there was a really amazing opportunity to interview Barack Obama in seven days.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 0:15 [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 0:16 I literally just had a baby. I was in an adult diaper.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 0:19 You interviewed President Obama while wearing a diaper.

Hannah Bronfman 0:22 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 0:22 Like, I don't think you thought that was your postpartum plan. [gentle music] Hi, you're listening to Rattled, a podcast from Good Inside about the moments of new parenthood that shake you, and I'm Dr. Becky. I'm really glad you're here. I'm really excited about our episode today. Today I'm talking with Hannah Bronfman and Brendan Fallis. Hannah is the founder of HB Fit, and she's one of the most public voices in wellness. She's spoken openly about her path to motherhood, including the parts no Pinterest board prepared her for. And Brendan is her husband, and he's a DJ, an entrepreneur, and the person who was standing next to her through all of it. And we talk about a part of new parenthood that I don't often hear addressed: the power of bringing your baby into your life. Obviously, when you have a baby, so much about your life changes, and of course you have to prioritize your baby's needs. And no one tells us, "Wait, you've been living a life for a while, and not only prioritizing your needs, but bringing your baby into the world you've already created, that's actually a win-win for everyone." And I'm really excited for you to hear how two parents do that and are unashamed about it. [gentle music] All right, Hannah, I'm gonna start with you. Who were you before Preston arrived?

Hannah Bronfman 1:54 Oh, wow. [laughs] I was, um... and I still feel like I am, like very fun, full of life, like easygoing, always kind of trying to keep, like, the peace. Um, and I'm very much a people pleaser or was a people pleaser.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:18 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 2:18 I think I'm less actually of a people pleaser now-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:21 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 2:21 ... after being a mom.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:22 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 2:23 Um, yeah, that's... those are some things I guess I would say.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:28 Fun-seeking. Were you novelty-seeking? Do you like new things?

Hannah Bronfman 2:31 I do like new things.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:32 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 2:33 I am adventurous.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:34 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 2:35 I, um, try to be really present.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:39 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 2:41 And I like to, like, really just enjoy life.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:45 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 2:45 Honestly, I try not to get too caught up in the minutiae of it all.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:48 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 2:49 And I'm always kind of... I would say that I'm the outgoing one of my friend group.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:54 Yep.

Hannah Bronfman 2:54 I make new friends easily.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:56 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 2:57 But I also keep old relationships.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:00 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 3:00 Very loyal.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:01 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 3:01 Um, yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:03 Great. Brendan, what about you?

Brendan Fallis 3:04 What about the crippling anxiety that hits you every now and then?

Hannah Bronfman 3:07 [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:07 Oh.

Brendan Fallis 3:07 Do you wanna talk about that or...? [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 3:09 I didn't have that before Preston.

Brendan Fallis 3:11 Okay. Well.

Hannah Bronfman 3:12 I didn't.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:14 Your memory of it's different?

Brendan Fallis 3:15 No, it's probably true.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:16 Mm. Okay. Well, we'll get-

Brendan Fallis 3:18 It all seems so long ago.

Hannah Bronfman 3:18 I know.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:19 [laughs] Our former lives.

Hannah Bronfman 3:21 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:21 Um, well, we'll get to all the changes. What, but what about you? Like, who were you before?

Brendan Fallis 3:27 I was... I like to think I'm the same person now too, just operating with a different new skill set that I didn't know I would have or need.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:35 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Fallis 3:35 But, uh, you know, similar. I find we're very similar people, which is why we work.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:41 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Fallis 3:41 Um, but yeah, just I'm... actually, I'm much less outgoing in my friend group, so you can take that torch and carry it. [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:49 [laughs]

Brendan Fallis 3:49 But, uh, no, just, you know, passionate, hardworking, focused, entrepreneurial-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:57 Mm-hmm

Brendan Fallis 3:57 ... um, you know, enjoy travel, athletics. I don't know. The-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:02 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 4:03 ... thing. I don't-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:04 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 4:04 ... yeah, I don't know. It's a broad question.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:06 It's a what?

Brendan Fallis 4:07 Broad question, and strange to, like, put your dating profile out there. Like, [laughs] here's what I am.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:12 Uh-huh.

Hannah Bronfman 4:12 Yeah. Well, I also haven't even thought about who I was before kids in a long time, you know?

Brendan Fallis 4:17 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:18 Yeah. And tell me a little bit about your, your path to becoming a parent, what that journey was like.

Hannah Bronfman 4:23 Um, our path to becoming parents was definitely, um-

Brendan Fallis 4:29 More complicated than anticipated.

Hannah Bronfman 4:31 Yes.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:32 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 4:32 And a story and narrative that I did not anticipate being my own.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:37 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 4:38 I, you know, have been in the wellness world for over a decade-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:41 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 4:41 ... and thought I was, like, this very healthy, you know, young 20-something. I should have no problem getting pregnant. Um, and it took us about two and a half years to get pregnant. We went down the IVF route after, um, almost a year and a half of... Well, I guess we really started trying, and then six months into that we started to see a specialist, and then we spent about a year doing, um, everything you can do before going to IVF.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:11 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 5:11 So all of the planned cycles and Clomid and-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:14 Mm-hmm

Hannah Bronfman 5:14 ... IUIs and all the things. None of that worked, um, until about two years later.

Brendan Fallis 5:22 We had a miscarriage in there too.

Hannah Bronfman 5:24 We had a miscarriage as well, yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:25 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 5:25 So, you know, all, all of the ups and downs of trying to become parents, and then, um, ended up going through IVF and had a very successful-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:35 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 5:36 ... um, outcome-

Brendan Fallis 5:37 Which was-

Hannah Bronfman 5:37 ... yeah, retrieval.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:38 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 5:39 And, um, and then from there we were able to have our babies. I... It took us two embryos for each kid.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:49 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 5:50 Um, whether that was miscarriages or just failed implantation-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:55 Mm-hmm

Hannah Bronfman 5:55 ... um, which I hate even using, like, the wor- the word failed.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:59 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 6:00 Like, it just, it didn't stick, and I think that that's also timing-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:03 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 6:03 ... and the universe, and, you know, if it had stick, I don't know if it would be the same Preston. You know?

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:08 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 6:08 All the things.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:09 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 6:09 So, um, so our, our journey was definitely, um, an unexpected struggle for us. And

Brendan Fallis 6:19 But one which we decided to share. I was vlogging and doing YouTube, and I thought, "We should sit down and actually, like, share this," because I feel we would talk about it in our friend groups and it's such a, like, dark area no one wants-

Hannah Bronfman 6:32 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 6:32 ... to bring up.

Hannah Bronfman 6:33 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 6:33 But so many people go through the miscarriage side of it, and the, the struggles of the journey.

Hannah Bronfman 6:38 We were also one of the first couples in our friend group to try and get pregnant.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:43 Mm.

Brendan Fallis 6:43 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 6:43 So it also felt like our community didn't really understand.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:48 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 6:49 But then when you talk to other comm- you know, like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:51 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 6:51 ... even parents, mothers that you've known forever of your friends would, you know, would be like, "Oh, I had a miscarriage," but even their chi- their kids didn't know, you know? Their children didn't know.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:00 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 7:00 So just, like, kind of this, you know, there's a stigma around... Like, we don't... It's you just brush it under the rug, and it's like no, we should all just talk about it so we can move on, 'cause if, you know. Like in our relationship, we try and get everything off our chest so you can, you know, process it and digest it and, and move forward.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:16 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Fallis 7:17 So that ended up being, like, a monumental piece in our-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:21 Mm

Brendan Fallis 7:21 ... career. Like, I would be DJ-ing after, and some girl would come up and, like, leave a note on my turntables-

Hannah Bronfman 7:28 Oh

Brendan Fallis 7:28 ... and then walk away, and I'd be like, "Hi. W- was this a request?" You know? Like, "Uh-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:31 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 7:31 ... here we go." And I open it and it's like, "We had a child 'cause of you. Like, you gave us hope. We never stopped trying. Now we have our rainbow baby," and I'd just be, like, crying, [laughs] you know, while I'm working.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:40 Wow.

Brendan Fallis 7:40 Just, like, really touching stuff. And still-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:42 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 7:42 ... people still write us all the time saying like, "I came across that video and it's just given us so much hope." So it's been, um-

Hannah Bronfman 7:48 I've heard so many stories of other women who, you know, were going through IVF or miscarriages or trying to, uh, or failed cycles, or it just... The, the conversation online really f- it really wasn't there in-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:04 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 8:04 ... 2018.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:05 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 8:06 Um, and, you know, I still... I, like you said, I still have people come up to me-

Brendan Fallis 8:11 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 8:11 ... and say, "I'm, I'm going th- my friend's going through this right now, and she said-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:14 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 8:15 ... your videos on YouTube are just, they're helping so much." And I think, you know, it, it's... Part of what our society does is make women suffer in silence. And so it just felt really unfair to do that, especially when we were very used to, you know, living our lives alongside, you know, our online [laughs] like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:33 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 8:34 ... friends or whatever. So, um-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:36 Why hold, why hold-

Brendan Fallis 8:37 Communities

Hannah Bronfman 8:37 ... yeah, it felt really natural.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:39 Like, why hold that back then?

Hannah Bronfman 8:39 Yeah, exactly.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:41 Like, yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 8:41 It felt really natural to tell.

Brendan Fallis 8:41 But also such a tough thing to-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:42 It is.

Brendan Fallis 8:43 I, I mean, I literally set the camera down and I was like, "Let's do this," and-

Hannah Bronfman 8:46 Oh, and start crying

Brendan Fallis 8:47 ... it was just tears.

Hannah Bronfman 8:47 Yeah, just start crying immediately.

Brendan Fallis 8:48 You know? So, and then I'm like, "Should we be doing..." You know, like, I'm questioning, like, um, like, drama's good, but, like, is this necessary, you know? And it ended up being-

Hannah Bronfman 8:57 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 8:57 ... such a good way for us to process all the emotions.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:00 You know, Hannah, you just said something that's so in line. You know, around this, like, launch we're doing around Good Inside Baby, something I said, it's like we, we can't keep letting generation after generation of w- women be surprised by perfectly predictable moments.

Hannah Bronfman 9:13 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:13 Right? And-

Brendan Fallis 9:14 So true

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:15 ... I think the reason that happens is that we don't share stories.

Hannah Bronfman 9:18 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:18 Like, stories are how we learn. Stories, stories are the only thing that remove shame, right?

Hannah Bronfman 9:22 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:22 And yeah, a huge percentage of women and men, right, have miscarriages, and no one talks about it. So this idea that I'm the only one, we know statistically that's not true. Logically that's not true, but the feeling is so true.

Hannah Bronfman 9:32 Right.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:32 And the story we tend to tell ourselves when we think we're the only one is something's broken. And so, n- uh, we can't change all the... A miscarriage will always be hard, but you can kind of r- remove the aloneness when you share stories.

Hannah Bronfman 9:45 100%.

Brendan Fallis 9:47 [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:47 And-

Brendan Fallis 9:47 In November 2020, we became parents for the first time.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:50 Okay. Hannah, you first. Just take me to a moment in a day in any of those first couple days. Like, whatever feels most visually powerful or relevant in your mind right now, just to zoom in on what that was like.

Hannah Bronfman 10:05 Um, so about three days after h- giving birth to Preston, I got a email from my manager-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 10:20 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 10:20 ... saying that there was a really amazing opportunity to interview Barack Obama on his virtual book tour in seven days.

Brendan Fallis 10:35 [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 10:36 Wow.

Hannah Bronfman 10:36 And, you know, that is an incredible... I felt incredibly honored. I, I mean, overwhelmed. I, I felt like I could not say no to that type of opportunity. Um-

Brendan Fallis 10:49 But at the same time-

Hannah Bronfman 10:50 But at the same time, I literally just had a baby, and-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 10:54 Were you still in the hospital at that point, or-

Brendan Fallis 10:55 No

Hannah Bronfman 10:55 ... I had just gotten home.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 10:57 Had just gotten home.

Hannah Bronfman 10:58 Um, I could, you know, my brain was, like, barely functioning. And-

Brendan Fallis 11:03 It was also a full pandemic.

Hannah Bronfman 11:04 Yes, it was a full pandemic. And so there were a lot of things going on, and it felt totally overwhelming, but also, like, something I couldn't say no to.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:15 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 11:15 So I said yes, and 10 days after giving birth to Preston, I virtually interviewed Barack Obama.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:25 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 11:25 Um, and it was one of the coolest experiences, but also so surreal. I didn't even f- I felt very outside my body at the time. Um, and I was even, you know, you have to be very prepped for that. I mean, thank goodness, like, the questions were pre-vetted and I kind of... There was no, there was really no room to go off script.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:48 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 11:48 And thank God, because the brain was barely working. But I just... All of that to say is that I really, when you work for yourself, it's hard to give yourself a maternity leave, and I really did not give myself any-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:03 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 12:03 ... time or space.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:04 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Fallis 12:04 Also that slippery slope, 'cause then it's like, oh, you did that. The, the momentum coming off that was like, "Oh, here's this opportunity," and th- and then now, like, that was your-

Hannah Bronfman 12:15 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 12:15 ... your mat leave was, like, 10 days.

Hannah Bronfman 12:17 Yeah. Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:19 Wow.

Brendan Fallis 12:19 Quite literally.

Hannah Bronfman 12:20 Yeah, exactly. And also because it was the pandemic, so much of our business before the pandemic was DJing in-person events.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:28 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 12:29 And obviously there was a huge shift of what our business looked like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:32 Yes

Hannah Bronfman 12:33 ... really focusing on content in the pan- pandemic. So, you know, any opportunity-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:39 Yes

Hannah Bronfman 12:40 ... you know, felt like I had to engage.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:43 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 12:44 Um-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:45 Is there, is there anything about how, you know, day three through 10 went, that time period after you got that email, you look back and like, "Oh, I wish I did that differently," or, "I didn't know I needed something different," or like, "No, I just kinda got it through it however I could get through it."

Hannah Bronfman 12:59 You know, I felt very supported.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:01 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 13:01 And I, I feel like I kinda just got through it.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:03 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 13:04 And it was such a rewarding moment. And actually, Mr. Obama, like, he said our son's name for the first time.

Brendan Fallis 13:17 Announced it.

Hannah Bronfman 13:17 He, like, announced his-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:19 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 13:19 ... like, birth, 'cause I hadn't even announced that we had had the baby yet.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:23 Oh.

Hannah Bronfman 13:23 Um, and so that was really cool.

Brendan Fallis 13:26 [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 13:26 I mean, that is, like, so ser- it's like-

Brendan Fallis 13:28 We're like, "What happens when we have our next baby?"

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:30 Right. [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 13:30 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 13:30 This is a tough one to follow.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:32 Poor baby.

Hannah Bronfman 13:32 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 13:33 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 13:33 So that was really, really incredible.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:35 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 13:36 So it was just one of those things where, like, I was like, I just, I just-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:39 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 13:39 ... pushed through and was hoping I wasn't, like, leaking through my shirt at the time.

Brendan Fallis 13:45 [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 13:45 I was, like, making sure I, like, you know, there wasn't too much showing.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:48 Yep.

Hannah Bronfman 13:48 Like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:49 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 13:50 It was-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 13:50 Did you have any moments in those first number of days that, like, really rattled you?

Hannah Bronfman 13:55 Um, I mean, I think I was probably a little surprised, like, how... Like, I definitely, like, gave that interview, like, while wearing diapers.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:04 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 14:04 You know? Like, I think I was probably in a diaper for two, three weeks.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:09 And I wanna pause on that for a second, 'cause it's, that's something also still people are gonna hear and be like, "What? Did she say diaper?"

Hannah Bronfman 14:15 I was in an adult diaper.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:16 Yes.

Hannah Bronfman 14:17 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:17 Yes.

Hannah Bronfman 14:17 I mean, that's, that's, like, a very real thing.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:20 Uh, uh, I'm not saying it again 'cause you're an N of 1. I'm saying-

Hannah Bronfman 14:22 Yeah

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:22 ... 'cause you're an N of-

Hannah Bronfman 14:22 Yeah, no, I get it

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:23 ... so many. [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 14:24 Yeah. And, like, you know, I think I'd only just started being able to do, like, sitz baths or whatever.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:30 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 14:31 So that was kind of a-

Brendan Fallis 14:33 [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 14:34 ... ma- like, a mind [censored] a little bit.

Brendan Fallis 14:36 Yes.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:36 Yes.

Hannah Bronfman 14:36 Like, um, and, and yeah, that was like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:39 I interviewed President Obama while wearing a diaper.

Brendan Fallis 14:41 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:41 Like, I don't think you thought that was your postpartum plan.

Hannah Bronfman 14:43 No.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:43 It wasn't on the plan.

Hannah Bronfman 14:44 No, it was not-

Brendan Fallis 14:45 That's, like, a great-

Hannah Bronfman 14:45 ... on the plan

Brendan Fallis 14:45 ... bio line for you.

Hannah Bronfman 14:46 Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:46 Seriously.

Brendan Fallis 14:48 [laughs] On the resume.

Hannah Bronfman 14:49 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:49 What have you done?

Brendan Fallis 14:50 Yeah. [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 14:50 Yeah, yeah, exactly. [laughs]

Brendan Fallis 14:51 Have you been uncomfortable before-

Hannah Bronfman 14:52 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 14:52 ... in a big situation? Good.

Hannah Bronfman 14:53 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:53 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 14:54 But you know what? I think when you asked me before, like, who was I before Preston-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:58 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 14:58 ... like, I feel like I'm a very resilient person, and I always am solut- solution, solution oriented.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:06 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 15:06 And that's kind of how-

Brendan Fallis 15:09 And you show up and you get it done.

Hannah Bronfman 15:11 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:11 Mm.

Brendan Fallis 15:11 All the time.

Hannah Bronfman 15:11 And that's, that's kind of how... That's actually what I was thinking about for our delivery with Preston, is that in my career I always show up and I get it done, and I was like, "That's how I'm thinking about birthing this child."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:26 Mm.

Hannah Bronfman 15:26 "I'm gonna show up, we're gonna get it done. Whether it happens one way or another-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:31 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 15:31 ... I'm gonna be open to whatever course it happens. But, like, this baby is coming out healthy, and that, that is the goal."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:38 But wait, that, I wanna just pause on that for a second, 'cause it's so different from so many people's birth plans. You, your narrative, "I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna get it done," but it wasn't, you weren't wed to one path.

Hannah Bronfman 15:51 No.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:51 You were wed to, "I'm gonna get it done. My baby's gonna be healthy. That's the most important thing, and there's probably a lot of different routes to get there. Doesn't matter as much as-

Brendan Fallis 15:59 And it's kinda like whatever-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:59 ... the destination."

Hannah Bronfman 16:00 Totally

Brendan Fallis 16:00 ... pain or pleasure comes along the way, like, you're ready.

Hannah Bronfman 16:03 100%. I think because my journey to getting pregnant-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 16:06 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 16:07 ... was so far from what I had originally-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 16:10 Yep

Hannah Bronfman 16:10 ... thought my story would've been, that it was almost like, well, expectation is out the door, and the goal is to have a healthy baby, whether that happens, you know, being induced, vaginally, C-sec- like, w- whatever may arise, I just kept, I did, the only thing I kept screaming to my, um, OB was, "Do not let me become a statistic, and make sure I'm also alive after this baby."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 16:39 Tell me about that.

Hannah Bronfman 16:40 Well, it's just really, you know, there's obviously a crazy maternal health crisis for, you know, Black women in the United States, and regardless if you're Serena Williams, right-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 16:49 Mm-hmm

Hannah Bronfman 16:49 ... who's shared her story so openly, or Allyson Felix, you know, these world-renowned top athletes who have access to the best care, it doesn't matter. Like, the system doesn't, doesn't c- doesn't care who you are, and the system is so flawed. And, um, I was really s- it's, we were also talking about this before. It's like you, when you don't wanna hear the stories, right? You're trying to-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:15 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 17:15 ... so and while I was pregnant I was really trying to only listen to positive birth stories. But of course it's important to listen to other birth stories that are not so positive, because this is the reality of what we're dealing with. And obviously you need to protect your peace and all the things, so, you know, uh, limit the, limit the stories how you can.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:35 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 17:36 But, um, you know, I had definitely felt anxious about, you know, my outcome-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:45 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 17:45 ... because I fall into this category.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:48 Yes.

Hannah Bronfman 17:48 And while I have the best care, doesn't matter. So I, you know, I really trust m- I really trusted my OB, and we spoke at length about that before, um, my labor and delivery.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:03 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 18:03 And, um, I reiterated-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:06 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 18:06 ... everything we had talked about while, like, probably in a screaming voice-

Brendan Fallis 18:09 [laughs]

Hannah Bronfman 18:10 ... uh, while being in labor. Um-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:12 Did you feel listened to or believed during it?

Hannah Bronfman 18:15 I did. I did. I did. And I had Brendan there the whole time, and the team of doctors were amazing. I felt very cared for by my nurses. I mean, the team was really awesome.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:27 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 18:27 Um- But still, you just have, like, fear and doubt, and, you know, one, one wrong heartbeat or one missed breath can, you know, turn into an emergency in half a second, so...

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:44 [gentle music]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:49 There's a very specific moment in the day a lot of parents hit, usually in the afternoon, where you're still going, but everything feels harder than it should. You're answering questions, making decisions, trying to stay patient, and suddenly simple things feel complicated. Like, why does choosing a snack suddenly feel like a high-stakes decision? And most of us, me included, have the tendency to just push through it, power through. But I've started to pay more attention to those in-between moments and how something as basic as hydration can actually help, and that's what I like about LMNT's sparkling electrolyte drinks. They're designed for those exact moments, not just workouts, but real life: school drop-off, the transition between soccer and coming home, that mid-afternoon dip around 4:07 PM. And it's a simple grab-and-go can. No mixing, no prep. Something I can just reach for when I need a small reset for me. No sugar, no artificial ingredients, just a way to support

Dr. Becky Kennedy 19:50 yourself a little better in the middle of a long day. If you wanna try it, LMNT is offering a free gift with any purchase. Just go to drinkLMNT.com/goodinside. That's drink L-M-N-T.com/goodinside. [gentle music] Brendan, tell me about, uh, your, your first couple days. Like, what, what stands out to you?

Brendan Fallis 20:19 I mean, I still... The thing that stands out to me most is how untrained you are to be parents. [laughs] And the... Like, I, I will never forget, and I t- tell everyone who's having their first baby, like, when the hospital doors open, 'cause you feel so taken care of in there. Everyone's like, "Oh," and, like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:37 Yes

Brendan Fallis 20:37 ... you need something, and someone's always there. And, and then they're just like, "All right. Sign this paper, and it's just you guys now." And you're like, "Oh, yeah, totally. Cool, like, we got this." And you push your new little stroller and, like, smile at this little baby, and you go down... We went down the elevator, and, like, the doors open, and, like, something about, [laughs] like, hitting the fresh air with this kid, and it's li- I'm like, "Are they coming with us?"

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:59 [laughs]

Brendan Fallis 20:59 Like, is this... And then you're just like, we put the baby in the car, and, like, Hannah's, like, everything's like a delicate egg, right?

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:06 Yes.

Brendan Fallis 21:06 Like, you're... I'm driving, and I'm like, "Someone's gonna T-bone me."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:09 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Fallis 21:09 Like, we're gonna... Uh, but we had, like, s- the sunroof open, so it was like a-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:13 Beautiful day

Brendan Fallis 21:13 ... a beautiful day.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:14 Mm-hmm.

Brendan Fallis 21:14 And you're in the back, and you're, like, driving 10 and 2, and you're just like, [laughs] you know, trying to... And then you get home, and you're like, "What are we doing?"

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:23 What do we do now?

Brendan Fallis 21:23 This is insane. And, like, e- every time you put the kid to bed, you think they're dying.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:27 Yes.

Brendan Fallis 21:27 We're like them... Like, you think their sleep is so sensitive, like they can hear a pin drop. Really, you could just yell in the room. They wouldn't even know it. We're, like, army crawling in and, like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:35 Mm

Brendan Fallis 21:36 ... is he alive? Is he breathing?

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:38 Is he breathing, right?

Brendan Fallis 21:38 Like, yeah, you're freaking out.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:39 Yeah. Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 21:40 And so it's just the funniest first exercise of, like... Again, if you only knew. Like, our second child, we're just like, "Uh, you know."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:46 Right.

Brendan Fallis 21:46 [laughs] She's alive. You know, keep it moving. But-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:49 Uh

Brendan Fallis 21:50 ... No, I know, but you know what I'm saying. Like, in comparison.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:52 Yeah, yeah.

Brendan Fallis 21:52 Like, in the minutia of these details, and you're stressing yourself out so much and, like, trying to celebrate its beauty, and, oh, like, this is the greatest day, but really, like, you have no idea what's going on.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:02 There's panic then.

Brendan Fallis 22:03 But I have to say, even during Preston era of first year, and it's still today, but it was new for us. You know, a lot of our other friends who haven't had babies yet were like, "When we have babies, we're gonna be like you. You guys are so fun. Like, you're still kinda everywhere, or you bring the kid."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:23 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 22:23 You know? Like, like, we just bring him and bring a pack and play and set him up, be like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:27 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 22:27 ... who cares? You know, like, learn the environment.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:29 Yep.

Brendan Fallis 22:30 But we kind of agreed pre having a kid that I kinda think there's two schools of mentality-ish-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:37 Mm-hmm

Brendan Fallis 22:37 ... when you're having a baby. It's either your kid is gonna live your life, or you're gonna live your kid's life, and we both agreed, like, our kids are going to live our lives.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:44 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Brendan Fallis 22:45 'Cause, A, they're gonna outlive us, and, B, we waited so long to have kids in general that, like, we already were kinda selfish with this act just by way of time.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:55 You, you guys liked your life.

Brendan Fallis 22:56 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 22:56 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:56 Yeah. [laughs]

Brendan Fallis 22:57 And, and I would... And I like to say, I'd be personally kinda pissed at my parents at this. Like, my parents very much lived their lives, and we were just part of it. Like, it's your life.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:07 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 23:07 You know? Like, and but no harm, no foul to people who just go all in on kids. But we know them. You know, we have friends who can't do anything, 'cause got this, and we can't take-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:15 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 23:15 ... the kid. Well, the bedtime or, you know. That might just be an excuse, 'cause they've always wanted to just st- uh, you know-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:20 Right

Brendan Fallis 23:20 ... whatever. I don't know how it works, 'cause we're not of that camp.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:23 [laughs]

Brendan Fallis 23:23 But we have a lot of assumptions. [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:26 Yeah. [laughs]

Brendan Fallis 23:26 But for us, you know, we just took-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:28 Yeah

Brendan Fallis 23:28 ... it was just become, come with us.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:31 Yeah. Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 23:31 You know, and our kids move around really confidently with us. We travel a ton with them.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:35 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Brendan Fallis 23:35 And it's so fun, and they're, like, great on the airplane and great in new environments, and but that's, like, what's really important to us.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:40 Yeah.

Hannah Bronfman 23:41 I was just gonna say, yeah, I feel like part of what I learned at a really young age was, I think also because my parents divorced at a really young age, I had to really adapt and read a room.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:53 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 23:54 Um, and kind of knew, like, what type of, like, what version of myself was showing up where. And while I don't wish that for my kids of, like, having to compartmentalize themselves, I will say because we take them everywhere, they do adapt really well and know how to, like-

Brendan Fallis 24:11 Yeah, it's just a level of confidence

Hannah Bronfman 24:12 ... read a room. Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 24:13 They're, they move around confidently.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:14 Yeah. And look, I think probably, I'm just thinking for parents listening, like, there's probably definitely more than two camps I need, right? There, there's a balance.

Brendan Fallis 24:22 100%.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:22 100%. And so-

Brendan Fallis 24:23 I just, there, that was a-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:24 And I-

Brendan Fallis 24:24 ... more process strategy

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:24 ... but no, but I think what you're putting words to, which is so important, I tell parents this all the time. You know, we forget that when we become a parent, like, the first year or so, we're also setting a foundation. We can always change it, but if every year is like a I don't know, a floor in a building-

Brendan Fallis 24:39 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:39 ... it's hard to change a building.

Brendan Fallis 24:41 Totally.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:41 At like floor eight, you know? Yeah. And so-

Brendan Fallis 24:43 It's a really good way to put it

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:44 ... if you know, first of all, there's things I love about my life, and if you know the irony for your kid, I don't wanna raise the kind of kid who says, "Ugh, I have to go with you to this errand."

Brendan Fallis 24:54 Totally.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:54 "I just want..." Right? None of us want that kid. But if a kid's entire life, I'm not talk- just entire life is about optimizing their schedule and their enjoyment all the time, we shouldn't be shocked at age eight that they can't be flexible.

Brendan Fallis 25:09 No, no.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:09 Right. And so if you think longterm like that, it's definitely not selfish. Part of it should be a little selfish anyway. We're still people. It's a good thing for a kid to come into a parent's world. Yeah. That's my long-winded way of saying it. Everyone wins. Yeah. And the exact balance, only you know what you want, but it is a win-win situation.

Brendan Fallis 25:26 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:26 Right? Totally. Totally.

Brendan Fallis 25:27 Well, it works for us.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:28 Yeah. Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 25:29 You know, I think.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:29 Yeah. Tell me something you've learned about yourself, I don't know, just through this journey. Maybe through trying to get pregnant process, the birth process, the after process. It's funny because I actually, I, I feel like I have become such a patient person, but I wasn't always so patient. Huh. And I certainly wasn't patient with myself during my pregnancy journey. I was very hard on myself, I think. And now as a mom, I, I surprise myself every day- Mm ... with how patient I am. I like, I, I'm-

Brendan Fallis 26:02 Surprise me every day.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 26:03 Yeah. It's... I, I'm like, wow, okay. And I d- I really try not to raise my voice. I mean, I do when I need to. Mm-hmm. But, like- Yeah ... I will try every alternative before getting there. Mm-hmm. And it usually works. Mm-hmm. And I feel like my kids kind of almost match my energy in that way. Um, and that surprised me because I certainly have, like, never considered myself a patient person- Yeah ... before. I'm a New Yorker. I don't- Yeah. [laughs] ... like wait on lines. I don't... You know what I mean? [laughs] I'm like... So- Mm ... yeah. What about you?

Brendan Fallis 26:37 I'm not as patient.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 26:38 [laughs]

Brendan Fallis 26:39 Definitely. But I am mildly patient. Um, what surprised me?

Dr. Becky Kennedy 26:45 Or w- yeah. What, what do you notice developed in you-

Brendan Fallis 26:47 I just-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 26:47 ... or what, what have you learned along the way?

Brendan Fallis 26:48 I think I'm like... I don't... I consider myself more of a serious person, not in like a being serious, but I'm not, like, really fun and creative and young. And I'm able to... I feel like I'm really able to... You know?

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:02 What?

Brendan Fallis 27:02 I'm... Just, like, on a children's level. You know what I'm saying?

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:05 Okay. Okay.

Brendan Fallis 27:05 Like, I'm-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:06 I understand what you're saying. Yeah

Brendan Fallis 27:07 ... fun and creative and whatever in my social setting in life with you.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:10 Like, in terms of play on the floor?

Brendan Fallis 27:11 Yeah. Like, I didn't... I never-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:14 Hmm

Brendan Fallis 27:14 ... like, I love building. Like, I love Lego with my son because I like building, and I liked it as a child. But I'd... Just coming up with creative stories and activities and fun and getting on their level and building obs- just stuff I didn't ever assume-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:31 But you're good at it

Brendan Fallis 27:32 ... yeah, like I would be-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:33 Yeah. Yeah

Brendan Fallis 27:33 ... doing. Like, I knew I'd be doing these things, but I didn't understand how or why or when and what it would entail, and I think that's kinda surprising me. Something'll just come out, and I'll be really proud of my little-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:47 Hmm

Brendan Fallis 27:47 ... story I came up with.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:48 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 27:49 And it just-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:50 Like last night

Brendan Fallis 27:50 ... inspiring them. Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:51 What was the story last night?

Brendan Fallis 27:52 It's a princess with a marshmallow castle who had to go through a candy cane forest and then a chocolate river and a cookie desert-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:58 [laughs]

Brendan Fallis 27:59 [laughs] To get the frog with the marshmallows to create the lemonade stream back to the towns they could all survive together.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:04 Hmm.

Brendan Fallis 28:04 Just making up... And my daughter was obsessed-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:06 It was great

Brendan Fallis 28:06 ... and then she came to the room this morning and recited the whole thing.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:09 Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 28:09 Um, "What was your dream last night?" And she just recited the story I told her before bed, which was-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:13 Oh, [laughs] that's so cute

Brendan Fallis 28:14 ... hmm. But I don't... Just, you know, finding deep pockets in your brain of different skillsets that you might have had at some point. Like, I never found I had a wild imagination to be, like, on a live kids television show, which feels like we're on all day.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:32 [laughs] Yeah.

Brendan Fallis 28:33 So that's kind of surprising to me.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:35 All right. Last question, um, for each of you. So picture your kids being a lot older- Yeah. [laughs] ... and someone says-

Brendan Fallis 28:41 It's fine. [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:42 I can't. Well, don't picture it-

Brendan Fallis 28:44 Yeah

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:44 ... but it's gonna happen. Okay. Okay. And someone, I don't know, says to one of them, "What was your mom like, like back in the day when you were growing up?" What do you want, what do you want your kids to say? Oh, my gosh. I want them to say that I was present and fun and their safe space and super loving and, you know, always made them feel good about themselves and instilled, like, great confidence and, you know, helped shape them to be really good humans and, um, you know, trust their gut. Like, all, all of the things that I feel like my mom did for me- Hmm ... which I would say about my mom, um, I hope that they say about me. Yeah. Yeah. Brendan, what about you?

Brendan Fallis 29:39 I think they will.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 29:40 Aw. Thanks, babe.

Brendan Fallis 29:43 Um, I guess in short I would, uh-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 29:49 My dad. I would they go, "Oh, my dad. Let me tell you about my dad."

Brendan Fallis 29:52 Yeah. My dad was there being himself, helping us become who we are today, and I'm proud of it.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 29:59 Hmm.

Brendan Fallis 29:59 That's what I'd want them to say. Nothing too deep, just an understanding. Like, uh, we, the very crazy, weird lives that take us in and out, but we are, we are there. Whether we're there or not, we are... Like, I will always be there, and I think they feel that at their core, and I feel that too.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 30:20 Yeah. I also want my kids to know that, like, we or that I worked, you know? I think, you know, my mom growing up kind of to the opposite of what we've been saying really put her life on hold to have us. Hmm. And-

Brendan Fallis 30:39 But that was of that generation. A lot of people-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 30:42 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 30:42 Not a lot, but it was like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 30:43 I don't hear saying with criticism, just-

Hannah Bronfman 30:45 Yeah

Dr. Becky Kennedy 30:45 ... you hear it's different.

Hannah Bronfman 30:46 It's just different. Exactly.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 30:48 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 30:48 And I want my kids to know that-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 30:50 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 30:51 ... I was present while I also was running a business, and, um, I think that that's... And that my business looks different than maybe their friends' parents.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:01 Mm-hmm.

Hannah Bronfman 31:01 And there are so many ways to, um... Or, or rather that I was living my life with purpose, and I hope-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:12 Yeah

Hannah Bronfman 31:12 ... that I will h- help them find their purpose as well.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:14 Yeah, why does that matter, w- that, that they see that?

Hannah Bronfman 31:16 I, I, I think, I think if you can find your purpose in your life, you are, are, are really truly living. I think it's a really... It's a shame for, for folks who haven't found their pur-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:28 Mm

Hannah Bronfman 31:28 ... their purpose. And I, I know a, a, a few people, um, and while they are happy seemingly, I think that there is something missing. And it's hard. It's hard to figure it out. Um, it doesn't always just present itself. Sometimes you have to dig, dig, dig, or go through, you know, years of working in an industry you don't like to figure out-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:54 Mm-hmm

Hannah Bronfman 31:54 ... what the purpose is. [gentle music]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 32:03 So here's what I wanna end with today. You know, you might be thinking, "I don't have a life where I'm bringing my kids to set. What does it mean to bring my kid into my life?" Well, I'll tell you a story about my early parenthood days, where I could have really used someone whispering in my ear, telling me to bring my baby into my life, rather than the opposite. I was kind of obsessed with schedules for a while. It gave me control, it gave me peace, and it led to a number of weeks in a row where I really didn't see another adult, let alone a friend. And there was a beautiful afternoon where some of my friends were having lunch actually in my neighborhood, and I remember saying, "Today's the day. I'm gonna put my baby in the stroller. If my baby's a little cranky, that's fine. My baby can sleep in the stroller. I'm gonna go meet them." And then I just didn't. And I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna mess up the nap. And if I mess up this nap, I'm gonna mess up the next nap, and then that's gonna mess up at night, and then the next week is gonna be off." This is the story I told myself, and so I stayed in my house. And I remember the following days, feeling more down, living more in my head, and I think about that moment where, number one, I just wish I trusted myself. I can have any one moment, any one nap, any one feeding go one way, and it's not the forever truth. But also, I wish I had said to myself, "Becky, you seeing your friends matters, and your baby can come into your life. That's not being selfish. That's not messing it all up. That's really important." All right. Let's end the way we always do. Put your feet on the ground, and put a hand on your heart, and let's remind ourselves, even as we struggle on the outside, we remain good inside. I'll see you soon. [gentle music]