Jay Shetty Podcast

#1 Communication Expert: If You Get Anxious Around Other People WATCH THIS!

Do you feel like people often cut you off when you're talking? When was the last time someone really listened to you? Today, Jay sits down with international keynote speaker and communication coach Vinh Giang for an inspiring conversation about building real confidence and finding your voice. Together, they dive into how the way we speak, and how we feel about speaking, isn’t something we’re born with, but a skill you build through experience, self-awareness, and practice. Vinh breaks down the myth that confident speakers are just born that way. Through his simple “four stages of competence” framework, he explains how with the right tools and consistent practice—anyone can become a powerful communicator, even if you’re naturally shy or introverted. It’s not about changing your personality; it’s about learning to manage your energy and use your voice with intention. Throughout the episode, Vinh shares easy, practical tips, like how to stop people from interrupting you in meetings, how to sound more confident, and how to use your voice to its full potential. One of the most touching parts of the conversation is when Vinh opens up about his father, a refugee who didn’t understand his career choice at first, but later became his biggest supporter. It’s a reminder that communication isn’t just about being heard, it’s also about understanding, connecting, and growing in every part of life. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Move from Shy to Confident with Communication How to Master the Four Stages of Speaking Competence How to Build Self-Awareness with the Record & Review Method How to Boost Vocal Presence and Authority Instantly How to Communicate Effectively as an Introvert How to Reframe “Fake” as “Unfamiliar” When Practicing New Skills Whether you’re a seasoned speaker, a reluctant communicator, or someone simply yearning to be heard, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, equipped, and encouraged to use your voice, not just to speak, but to be seen. Unlock your exclusive gift from Vinh Giang, crafted just for the On Purpose community. Visit https://gifts.vinhgiang.com/jayshetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:29 Are You Struggling to Communicate Clearly? 02:13 The Path to Becoming a Confident Speaker 04:27 Do you have “Unconscious Incompetence?” 06:07 Change Your Habits, Change Your Confidence 08:40 A Simple Way to Build Self-Awareness 12:30 Why You Keep Getting Interrupted (and How to Stop It) 15:57 Why Communication Skills Are More Important Than Ever 19:01 Protecting Your Energy as an Introvert or Extrovert 23:21 How to Create a Routine That Helps You Perform at Your Best 26:25 Why You Cringe at the Sound of Your Own Voice 31:00 What Failure Teaches Us About Growth 35:31 How to Become a Natural Communicator 39:43 Why Mastering Communication Gives You True Freedom 44:49 Vinh’s Most Embarrassing Public Speaking Moment 47:53 Do Accents Hold You Back from Being Understood? 52:57 The Pen-in-Mouth Trick to Sharpen Your Speech 56:20 Don’t Just Learn the Tools, Own Them 59:36 How to Slow Down Your Speech Without Sounding Boring 01:04:45 It’s Not Just What You Say, It’s How People Hear It 01:07:40 Matching Energy: How to Meet People Where They Are 01:13:25 How to Show Up as the Bigger, Bolder Version of Yourself 01:16:02 Why Public Speaking Is Still the #1 Fear 01:18:00 How Filming Yourself Can Instantly Improve Your Speaking 01:25:07 What Makes Steve Jobs’ Speech So Powerful 01:28:35 Why We Sense When Someone Feels Inauthentic 01:34:06 Vinh on Final Five Episode Resources: https://www.vinhgiang.com/ https://www.instagram.com/askvinh https://x.com/askvinh https://www.youtube.com/@askvinh https://au.linkedin.com/in/vinhgiang https://www.facebook.com/askvinh Episode Resources: https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty https://www.facebook.com/jayshetty/ https://x.com/jayshetty https://www.linkedin.com/in/shettyjay/ https://www.youtube.com/@JayShettyPodcast http://jayshetty.me

Vinh GiangguestJay Shettyhost

May 18, 20251h 44mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Communication confidence is trainable through awareness, practice, and presence habits

Communication confidence is framed as a set of practiced behaviors rather than a fixed personality trait, meaning “shy” patterns can be replaced with confident ones through repetition.
The core pathway to improvement follows the four learning stages (unconscious incompetence → conscious incompetence → conscious competence → unconscious competence), with “feeling fake” reframed as normal unfamiliarity during skill acquisition.
Self-awareness is positioned as the first major unlock, with a practical “record and review” method (mute video, then audio-only, then transcript) to identify tics, filler words, pace, clarity, and structure.
Many daily-life problems—being interrupted, overlooked for promotion, speaking too fast, or feeling drained as an introvert—are linked to vocal/physical presence, energy management routines, and the strategic use of pauses and breath.
Accents are presented as rarely the true barrier; articulation and pronunciation are, and can be trained using daily over-articulation drills and the “pen-in-mouth” technique to improve clarity.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Confidence comes from practicing different communication behaviors, not “becoming someone else.”

Giang argues your current voice is a habitual voice learned from early mimicry; changing mouth movement, airflow, volume, and gestures changes outcomes without changing your core values.

If new techniques feel fake, label them “unfamiliar,” not “inauthentic.”

Stage three (conscious competence) often feels performative because you must think about the mechanics; pushing through is what converts skills into natural, automatic expression.

Record-and-review is the fastest way to build self-awareness and stop blind spots.

Watch first on mute for body language and visual tics, then listen without video for vocal qualities and filler words, then review a transcript to spot repetition and lack of structure.

People interrupt you more when you’re “easy to interrupt,” so create authority friction.

Low volume, small body language, and tentative posture invite interruption; standing up (even on Zoom), increasing volume, and expanding gestures raises perceived authority and reduces talk-overs.

Introverts can communicate powerfully, but must schedule and replenish energy strategically.

The difference isn’t quality but recovery; Giang recommends conserving energy before key moments and using quick “menu items” (breathwork, snack, playlist, music) to reset between meetings.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Being a confident communicator, that's just another series of behaviors that you can practice. So when people say, "Oh, I'm shy," I always say to them, "Oh, well, that's because you've been practicing the shy behaviors for the last 15, 20, 30, 40 years."

— Vinh Giang

Don't be so attached to who you are in the present you don't give the future version of you a chance.

— Vinh Giang

The reason people interrupt you is because you're easy to interrupt. Create a bit of that friction.

— Vinh Giang

You are only as good as you can communicate.

— Vinh Giang

Your voice is an instrument. Play all of the songs that are trapped within you. Don't die with all your music trapped inside.

— Vinh Giang

Voice as an instrument; behavior-based identity changeFour stages of competence and the “messy middle”Record-and-review self-awareness practiceInterruptions: vocal presence and physical presenceEnergy protection and performance routines (menu items)Pauses, pacing, and anxiety regulationAccents vs articulation; over-articulation and pen drill

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