Jay Shetty Podcast

#1 Communication Expert: If You Get Anxious Around Other People WATCH THIS!

Do you feel like people often cut you off when you're talking? When was the last time someone really listened to you? Today, Jay sits down with international keynote speaker and communication coach Vinh Giang for an inspiring conversation about building real confidence and finding your voice. Together, they dive into how the way we speak, and how we feel about speaking, isn’t something we’re born with, but a skill you build through experience, self-awareness, and practice. Vinh breaks down the myth that confident speakers are just born that way. Through his simple “four stages of competence” framework, he explains how with the right tools and consistent practice—anyone can become a powerful communicator, even if you’re naturally shy or introverted. It’s not about changing your personality; it’s about learning to manage your energy and use your voice with intention. Throughout the episode, Vinh shares easy, practical tips, like how to stop people from interrupting you in meetings, how to sound more confident, and how to use your voice to its full potential. One of the most touching parts of the conversation is when Vinh opens up about his father, a refugee who didn’t understand his career choice at first, but later became his biggest supporter. It’s a reminder that communication isn’t just about being heard, it’s also about understanding, connecting, and growing in every part of life. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Move from Shy to Confident with Communication How to Master the Four Stages of Speaking Competence How to Build Self-Awareness with the Record & Review Method How to Boost Vocal Presence and Authority Instantly How to Communicate Effectively as an Introvert How to Reframe “Fake” as “Unfamiliar” When Practicing New Skills Whether you’re a seasoned speaker, a reluctant communicator, or someone simply yearning to be heard, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, equipped, and encouraged to use your voice, not just to speak, but to be seen. Unlock your exclusive gift from Vinh Giang, crafted just for the On Purpose community. Visit https://gifts.vinhgiang.com/jayshetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:29 Are You Struggling to Communicate Clearly? 02:13 The Path to Becoming a Confident Speaker 04:27 Do you have “Unconscious Incompetence?” 06:07 Change Your Habits, Change Your Confidence 08:40 A Simple Way to Build Self-Awareness 12:30 Why You Keep Getting Interrupted (and How to Stop It) 15:57 Why Communication Skills Are More Important Than Ever 19:01 Protecting Your Energy as an Introvert or Extrovert 23:21 How to Create a Routine That Helps You Perform at Your Best 26:25 Why You Cringe at the Sound of Your Own Voice 31:00 What Failure Teaches Us About Growth 35:31 How to Become a Natural Communicator 39:43 Why Mastering Communication Gives You True Freedom 44:49 Vinh’s Most Embarrassing Public Speaking Moment 47:53 Do Accents Hold You Back from Being Understood? 52:57 The Pen-in-Mouth Trick to Sharpen Your Speech 56:20 Don’t Just Learn the Tools, Own Them 59:36 How to Slow Down Your Speech Without Sounding Boring 01:04:45 It’s Not Just What You Say, It’s How People Hear It 01:07:40 Matching Energy: How to Meet People Where They Are 01:13:25 How to Show Up as the Bigger, Bolder Version of Yourself 01:16:02 Why Public Speaking Is Still the #1 Fear 01:18:00 How Filming Yourself Can Instantly Improve Your Speaking 01:25:07 What Makes Steve Jobs’ Speech So Powerful 01:28:35 Why We Sense When Someone Feels Inauthentic 01:34:06 Vinh on Final Five Episode Resources: https://www.vinhgiang.com/ https://www.instagram.com/askvinh https://x.com/askvinh https://www.youtube.com/@askvinh https://au.linkedin.com/in/vinhgiang https://www.facebook.com/askvinh Episode Resources: https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty https://www.facebook.com/jayshetty/ https://x.com/jayshetty https://www.linkedin.com/in/shettyjay/ https://www.youtube.com/@JayShettyPodcast http://jayshetty.me

VGVinh GiangguestJSJay Shettyhost

May 19, 2025·1h 44m·Watch on YouTube ↗

📖 CHAPTERS

1. 1

   From isolated kid to communication coach: Vinh’s origin story

   Vinh shares how English being his third language made him feel isolated and socially awkward, and how learning communication changed his life. He explains why teaching the skill became more fulfilling than performing magic.

2. 2

   Confidence is practiced behavior (and your current voice is mostly habit)

   The episode reframes “I’m shy” as repeated shy behaviors rather than a fixed identity. Vinh explains how we copy speech patterns early in life and eventually mistake subconscious habits for a “natural” voice.

3. 3

   The 4 stages of communication competence—and why it feels ‘fake’ before it feels natural

   Jay and Vinh walk through unconscious incompetence → conscious incompetence → conscious competence → unconscious competence. They emphasize that the awkward ‘phony’ stage is necessary before skills become automatic.

4. 4

   Expanding your range: stop calling ‘unfamiliar’ communication ‘inauthentic’

   Vinh uses the ‘home is the familiar’ and ‘88-key piano’ metaphors to show how limited most people’s expressive range is. He argues that what people label as fake is often just exploration beyond their default settings.

5. 5

   Build self-awareness fast: the Record–Review–Transcribe method

   Vinh outlines a concrete process for spotting what you’re doing on camera and in audio—without self-criticism taking over. He explains how muting video first and delaying review reduces harsh judgment and reveals actionable patterns.

6. 6

   Why people interrupt you—and the ‘stand up’ authority fix

   Vinh explains that interruptions often come from low vocal and physical presence, not from others being rude. He offers practical adjustments—especially standing, increasing volume, and widening gestures—to make you harder to talk over.

7. 7

   Communication matters more than ever: influence, promotions, and being heard

   They connect communication skill to real-world outcomes—promotions, leadership perception, dating confidence, and team influence. Vinh argues organizations perceive you at the level you can communicate, regardless of technical skill.

8. 8

   Protecting energy before high-stakes moments (introverts & extroverts)

   Vinh reframes introversion/extroversion as an energy management difference, not a talent limit. He shares routines to conserve and quickly restore energy before meetings, podcasts, Zoom calls, or performances.

9. 9

   Your performance routine: discipline, recovery, and finding what works for you

   Jay shares how touring required strict vocal rest, meal timing, and lifestyle trade-offs to perform nightly. Together they emphasize that strong communication isn’t ‘natural energy’—it’s crafted through routines and boundaries.

10. 10

    Why you cringe at your own voice (and how to desensitize it)

    Vinh explains the physics of hearing your voice through bone conduction versus recordings, and why video looks ‘off’ due to mirrored self-image. The solution is repeated exposure until your brain recalibrates.

11. 11

    Discomfort, failure, and the ‘one thing at a time’ approach to improvement

    They discuss why adults struggle more to change—habits are deeply ingrained and failure feels costly. Vinh argues progress accelerates when you embrace failure as feedback and focus on one behavior for weeks at a time.

12. 12

    Slow down without sounding boring: anxiety, adrenaline, and the power of pauses

    Vinh gives a practical system to slow speech by addressing root causes: anxiety and adrenaline. He reframes pausing as a service to the listener—processing time—and a tool for clarity, authority, and calm.

13. 13

    Accents aren’t the problem: articulation, pronunciation, and the pen-in-mouth drill

    They tackle accent insecurity by separating accent from intelligibility. Vinh shows how articulation and mouth movement—especially in English—drive clarity, then demonstrates the pen-in-mouth exercise to force stronger enunciation.

14. 14

    Owning the tools: rapport through vocal mirroring, ‘be as big as the room,’ and freedom through mastery

    Vinh teaches how to ‘match and mirror’ not just body language but vocal foundations (pace, volume, pitch/melody, tone, pauses). They explore dynamic range—adjusting to the room—plus how mastery creates freedom and spontaneity without losing authenticity.

15. 15

    Iconic communicators, authenticity signals, and the Final Five (plus Vinh’s family story)

    They analyze why certain communicators work (Derren Brown’s stagecraft; Steve Jobs’ potency of content). Vinh explains we sense ‘misalignment’ or early-stage awkwardness as inauthentic, then closes with rapid-fire questions that expand into a powerful story about freedom, fear, and parental support.