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Jay Shetty PodcastAlia Bhatt's Hidden Struggles: ADHD, Anxiety & Finding Peace as a New Mother
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Chapter summaries
Meeting Before the Met Gala and Missing Conversation
After a cold open, Jay Shetty thanks Alia Bhatt for being on the show and recalls how they met a few hours before the Met Gala. Alia explains why she said yes: she had grown comfortable only talking to people she knows and wanted a new experience. Jay shares Brian Grazer's "curious conversations" idea.
- •Alia agreed to the pre-Met Gala breakfast as a new experience despite the stress
- •She says she has become comfortable talking mainly with people she already knows
- •Jay describes Brian Grazer's habit of inviting interesting strangers over for agenda-free conversation
- •Alia says she is not good at small talk but used to be good at real conversation
- •She learns more from conversations than from books
Why Alia Has Avoided Interviews for Two Years
Jay asks why this is her first in-depth conversation in over two years. Alia says 2022 was a full year of marriage, a baby and film promotions, and that she overspoke. In 2023 she had nothing new to say professionally and no one asked her to talk about life.
- •2022 included her marriage, having a baby, and promoting Gangubai and Darlings
- •She felt she had overspoken about films that year
- •She stayed away from interviews in 2023 because she had nothing new to say
- •No one approached her to talk about life beyond movies
A Dreamy Childhood in Front of the Television
Alia describes little Alia as a dreamer fascinated by the television, imagining life behind the screen. She talks about her popcorn-style relationship with movies, her filmmaker father and actor mother, and childhood memories of Govinda and Karisma Kapoor songs. Jay shares his own childhood movie obsession.
- •She loved dreaming and getting lost in her thoughts, in front of the TV and at school
- •Her cinematic knowledge isn't encyclopedic; she's "popcorn-like" with entertainment
- •She was curious about what was happening behind the screen when watching song sequences
- •Her father is a filmmaker and her mother an actor, so film talk filled the house
- •Jay recalls watching Maine Pyar Kiya over and over as a child
Resting Frown, Second-Child Independence and Being Alone
Jay asks whether Alia was always confident. She says she was happy on her own, that her resting face is a frown, and that being the second child made her more laid-back than her sister. She explains that being comfortable alone and silent isn't a lack of wanting to engage.
- •She says she was pretty confident and happy walking alone in school
- •Friends teased her about walking alone with a frown, since her resting face is a frown
- •She links her easygoing nature to being a second child
- •People may read her comfort with solitude and silence as distance, which she says it isn't
- •Her dreamer personality gives her space to float
Her Nine Best Friends and the Patience They Give
Alia talks about her group of nine girls, most outside the industry and spread across the world. She credits their patience for the friendships surviving her career that began at 17. Jay shares how his best friend makes time for him, and Alia describes her intimate home wedding.
- •Her group of nine girlfriends live in different cities across the world
- •She credits their patience for the friendships lasting despite her work
- •People told her early on that actors don't really have friends
- •Her daughter is now the "new girlfriend" the friends want to talk to
- •Her wedding was a 40-person event at home, with nine of her girlfriends there
Motherhood: Love, Worry and Presence with Raha
Jay asks about motherhood. Alia says you can't prepare for the feeling, describes her toddler's full days, and says the new-mother worry never goes away but changes form. She tries to be present with Raha and describes worrying both about physical safety and about whether she is parenting well.
- •She says she has forgotten much of life before motherhood and her days are now a treadmill
- •The worry doesn't go away; it changes form, a mix of extreme love and extreme worry
- •A woman dropping her son at college told her to enjoy this time, and she takes that seriously
- •She worries about physical safety and about giving her daughter the tools to handle emotions
- •She aims to be good enough, not a perfect parent
Ranbir as a Dad and the Monthly Emails to Raha
Jay asks what it's been like to see Ranbir become a girl dad. Alia describes their friendship-like bond and the fullness she sees in him. She also explains her monthly emails to Raha, a digital memory book she hopes to give her one day.
- •Ranbir and Raha have a special bond, like two friends
- •Alia sees a fullness in Ranbir as a father that she wasn't aware of before
- •She secretly videos their moments together
- •She sends Raha an email every month with photos, videos and notes
- •She plans to give them to Raha when she is maybe 15
No Perfect Parenting, Empathy and Perspective from the Balcony
Jay reflects on self-judgment in parenting and asks how anyone wins. Alia says you don't, because parents are also giant babies figuring it out. She says motherhood multiplied her empathy and gratitude, and describes standing on her small balcony watching other people's lives to regain perspective.
- •Jay notes people criticize parents whether they were present, absent, or strict
- •Alia says parents are also giant babies and she doesn't have all the answers
- •Her empathy multiplied after becoming a mum because she pictures her child in every situation
- •A small back balcony gives her a wide view of other people's lives and calms her worries
- •She prefers to do good rather than talk about it
Staying a Child: Tears, Curiosity and Raha's Songs
Asked which parts of herself are still babyish, Alia mentions watching movies like a child, crying when tired, and a lasting curiosity. They chat about people-watching and Raha's love of songs. Alia says she wants to find a kid-friendly film since few of hers suit Raha.
- •She chats through movies and asks "and then what?" while watching
- •When she's exhausted she can suddenly cry over something random
- •Her curiosity is still alive, including imagining strangers' conversations
- •Raha has watched songs but no full movies and thinks every song is her parents'
- •She is now on the hunt for a kid-friendly film
Gangubai as an Alter Ego and Wanting Silliness Back
Jay asks which role feels most like Alia. Her friends say she is Gangubai, her alter ego in spirit. She says she wants to borrow the silliness of her Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania character, Kavya, though she also gets it from Raha.
- •Friends say Alia is Gangubai, though she says it isn't how she is in real life
- •She enjoyed depicting Gangubai the most
- •She wants playful, silly energy like her Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania character, Kavya
- •She gets silliness from Raha but wants to be more open to silly jokes herself
- •She feels she has become a bit too grown-up
Energy Sensitivity and Social Drain
Jay asks whether Alia is energized alone or around people. She says she's mostly energized alone and is drained by promotional tours. She absorbs other people's energy quickly and sometimes behaves strangely in new settings, relying on a familiar team.
- •Certain people energize her, but she is mostly energized on her own
- •Promotional tours leave her drained
- •She is very receptive to others' energies and can't block them off
- •She can behave strangely at parties because of confusion over multiple energies
- •A team that knows her well is important to her
ADHD and Anxiety Diagnosis, and Her Sister's Influence
Alia says her sister Shaheen's honesty about depression inspired her to speak openly about mental health. She shares that she was recently clinically diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety after physical symptoms in social settings and trouble focusing. The diagnosis gave her relief and information, and she chose not to take medication. They also discuss multitasking.
- •Her sister Shaheen's book and honesty about depression inspired her openness
- •Her body heated up in social gatherings and her focus went in and out
- •A three-day professional test diagnosed ADHD and anxiety
- •The diagnosis brought comfort and made dealing with it simpler; she isn't on medication
- •She realized she can micromanage multiple things but cannot truly multitask
No Daily Habits, No Resolutions and Conversation with Yourself
Asked about non-negotiable habits, Alia admits she hasn't stuck with journaling, meditating or painting, and skipped the 75 Hard challenge on her sister's advice. She makes no resolutions, relies on a daily workout, and calls conversation with herself her ongoing practice. She also enjoys watching others' routines on reels.
- •She has dropped writing things down, meditating and coloring
- •Her sister told her not to take on the 75 Hard challenge
- •She set a goal of finishing five books in 2024 and finished none, so made no resolutions this year
- •Habits that come naturally, like her six-day workouts, are the ones that stick
- •Conversation with herself is her non-negotiable, and she enjoys Sunday-reset reels and ASMR
Final Five: Advice, Raha's Name and a Growth Chapter
In the closing rapid-fire round, Alia shares her father's advice to be stupid rather than pretend to be intelligent, and the worst advice, being told she couldn't do something because she's a girl. She explains Raha's name, calls this chapter of her life "growth," and says she wants people to accept their wonderfully weird sides.
- •Best advice from her father: better to be stupid than pretend to be intelligent
- •Worst advice: being told she couldn't do something because she's a girl
- •Ranbir's mother suggested the name Raha, which means peace, joy and bliss
- •She describes this chapter as inward growth as a parent, partner, friend and professional
- •She wants people to accept their "wonderfully weird" parts, a line from Friends
Dreams, Numerology and Planning Passion, and Closing
Alia shares her current dreams: a renewed drive after a film that didn't do well, family time, and a solo beach trip. The conversation turns to astrology and numerology and her love of planning, including a hidden wish to be a wedding planner. She ends with her one law, to be kind.
- •A film last year that didn't do well gave her new vigor for a professional dream
- •She and Ranbir want to each take four days alone, and she imagines a beach with books
- •She loves star signs and numbers, and is a number six like Raha
- •She loves planning and dreams of being a wedding planner, having planned her own wedding and a 20-person Phuket trip
- •Her one law for everyone would be to just be kind
