Alia Bhatt's Hidden Struggles: ADHD, Anxiety & Finding Peace as a New Mother

Alia Bhatt 0:00 [upbeat music]

Alia Bhatt 0:00 Difficult to understand an actor's life because it's so random and haphazard, but now everything's changed because now I've, I have a daughter.

Jay Shetty 0:07 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 0:08 So now it's like there's a new girlfriend in the family.

Jay Shetty 0:11 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 0:11 An actor, a producer, an entrepreneur, an environmentalist, Alia Bhatt.

Jay Shetty 0:17 You were saying this is the first in-depth conversation you've done in over two years. Why is that, and why now? What did little Alia want to be when she grew up?

Alia Bhatt 0:26 I was fascinated by the television. I loved dreaming, whether it was in my classroom, whether it was in front of the television. When I started acting and, well, you know, your friends are your life. I started working at the age of 17, and when you're newly, you know, pursuing your career, sometimes you start taking your friends for granted.

Jay Shetty 0:44 As humans, we judge ourselves so much, but there's probably no role that we judge ourselves in as much as being a parent. How do you win?

Alia Bhatt 0:52 You don't. We're actually all giant babies through our lives, at least for our parents.

Jay Shetty 0:58 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 0:58 Like, no matter how old we become, we're still babies. Um-

Jay Shetty 1:00 That's what they see.

Alia Bhatt 1:01 I see that now when every time I would travel, my mom would say, "Okay, be careful before you cross the road."

Jay Shetty 1:06 [laughs] What's a role that you played that you see yourself in, that most felt like you? [upbeat music]

Alia Bhatt 1:15 The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty.

Speaker 1:18 Jay Shetty.

Alia Bhatt 1:19 The one, the only Jay Shetty.

Jay Shetty 1:21 [laughs] Alia Bhatt, it is such an honor. I'm so grateful that I get to do this with you. Genuinely so thankful to you. You are an icon. You are phenomenal talent and unbelievable actress. I feel the roles you choose are out of this world. I'm a huge, huge, huge fan, and I can't wait to dive in to learn more about the person behind all these amazing roles. So thank you for being here on On Purpose.

Alia Bhatt 1:49 Thank you for having me. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:50 Yeah, I... We first met, I think it was, we met a couple of hours before the Met Gala-

Alia Bhatt 1:55 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:55 ... which I can't imagine how-

Alia Bhatt 1:56 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:57 ... kind that was of you, but how stressful it was for you. Can you just walk me through-

Alia Bhatt 2:00 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 2:01 ... what that was like?

Alia Bhatt 2:02 I think we'd been in touch on Instagram for a while, and you very kindly said, "If you're in town, I'd love to meet," et cetera. And I said, "Okay, let me try and work it out," 'cause I was literally in town for two days. Um, but I also realized one thing in that moment is I've become very comfortable with just, like, going about [smacks lips] moments and, like, special, like, events or shoots and without really having much conversation with people who I don't know. You know, essentially, we don't really know each other. So I've become a bit comfortable just talking to people that I'm comfortable with, that I know, my team, you know, my family, my friends, my loved ones. So I literally took it as a, oh, it'll be fun, you know, a new experience.

Jay Shetty 2:45 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 2:46 I was not on mommy duty at that time.

Jay Shetty 2:48 [laughs] Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 2:48 Uh, so I had the time.

Jay Shetty 2:49 You were missing her.

Alia Bhatt 2:49 Yeah, I was missing her a lot, of course, all the time. So I had the time, um, and I just thought it would be fun to have breakfast with somebody and just get to know them a little bit, you know?

Jay Shetty 2:59 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 2:59 Apart from the fact that both of us are somehow in the media industry, right, um, talking to people and getting to know each other is something that just humans do-

Jay Shetty 3:10 Mm-hmm

Alia Bhatt 3:11 ... which I've not been doing much of-

Jay Shetty 3:12 Yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 3:13 ... very frankly. So I, I... That's the reason I was like, okay, even though it's a bit stressful right now-

Jay Shetty 3:18 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 3:18 ... and I have to get into hair and makeup right now for the next four hours, um, I will still go ahead and do this because it'll be a new experience.

Jay Shetty 3:26 I love that mentality. I think it's such a great mindset, and I remember when I first moved to LA, Brian Grazer, who's a legendary-

Alia Bhatt 3:33 Yeah

Jay Shetty 3:33 ... Hollywood producer and creator, he does this thing that he calls curious conversations.

Alia Bhatt 3:38 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 3:38 And so once a month or whatever it is, he randomly picks someone that he finds interesting, and he invites them over to his home to just hang out with.

Alia Bhatt 3:45 Wow.

Jay Shetty 3:46 And it's his a- ability to just be able to have a random conversation-

Alia Bhatt 3:50 Yeah

Jay Shetty 3:50 ... have a random interaction that may or may not lead to something professional. Sometimes it doesn't go anywhere.

Alia Bhatt 3:56 Exactly.

Jay Shetty 3:56 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 3:56 Like, there's no agenda behind it.

Jay Shetty 3:58 Correct.

Alia Bhatt 3:58 It's just a conversation-

Jay Shetty 3:59 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 4:00 ... which you'd land up... That's so interesting, actually. I don't really go for any parties or as such, and even if I go, it's usually just to, like, show face and, like, you know, be there for a couple of minutes and leave. I, I like to hang out with my, like, my close friends, and we sit and we talk, and that also doesn't happen very often. So literally, I was saying this to, I think, a friend of mine the other day, is I've forgotten what it is to have a conversation and just ask people questions-

Jay Shetty 4:29 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 4:29 ... and have them ask me questions and just exchange and share.

Jay Shetty 4:33 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 4:33 I've always said this before, I'm not good with small talk, and the reason I'm not good with small talk is because I know it's just small, and it's specifically for that moment, so I can't really indulge in small talk very well. But conversation I actually can do, and I used to do very well.

Jay Shetty 4:48 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 4:49 But something's happened in the last couple of years. I'm not sure. I don't know it, whether it was COVID also in the middle that just sort of isolated all of us into our own cocoons. And then life takes over. I, you know, became a mum. All my energy's kind of focused there. I felt like I was retracting a lot-

Jay Shetty 5:08 Mm

Alia Bhatt 5:08 ... generally, even, like, you know, conversation-wise. I also have this thing where I take trips within a, you know, a conversation. Like, I have... I, I take a flight-

Jay Shetty 5:19 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 5:19 ... and I come back. But just getting to know people is always such a, it's a different, you know, um, facet to life-

Jay Shetty 5:28 Yes, yes, yes

Alia Bhatt 5:28 ... and to your day.

Jay Shetty 5:29 Yeah. It almost requires, like, a different skill set-

Alia Bhatt 5:32 It does

Jay Shetty 5:32 ... different part of your brain, a different part of your mind, and if you get out of practice, it can feel really hard to do that. How will I know if you... Oh, sorry, go on.

Alia Bhatt 5:39 How do, how do you know if I've taken a flight?

Jay Shetty 5:40 I was gonna say, how will I know that you've [laughs] taken a flight?

Alia Bhatt 5:42 I think you'd know.

Jay Shetty 5:43 Okay, okay.

Alia Bhatt 5:43 You'd know. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 5:44 Okay. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 5:45 You'll just see it on my face.

Jay Shetty 5:47 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 5:47 Yeah, you know, I also feel like a lot of what I've learned in life is through conversation, you know? Um, oh, I, one person said this to me, or I, you know, the other guy was saying this to that guy, and I picked this up. I'll pick up more from what I hear through people and our conversations than I do from- Of course, from a book and stuff, but I think conversation sticks for me-

Jay Shetty 6:09 Mm

Alia Bhatt 6:09 ... more than, than the other things.

Jay Shetty 6:12 Yeah, right.

Alia Bhatt 6:12 So, I want to have more con- [laughs]

Jay Shetty 6:14 Yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 6:14 ... more conversations so more things can stick.

Jay Shetty 6:16 Yeah. Well, you were saying this is the first in-depth conversation you've done in over two years.

Alia Bhatt 6:22 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 6:23 Why is that, and why now?

Alia Bhatt 6:24 2022, I remember I had a very, uh, fulfilling year, as in it was very, um, beautifully chaotic. There was a lot going on. [laughs] Many film releases. Professionally one thing, but personally I got married, I had a baby. Um, it was a full year. I think that was the last time I promoted two films, I remember, in 2022, uh, Gangubai, and then-

Jay Shetty 6:50 One of my favorites.

Alia Bhatt 6:51 Oh, [laughs] thank you.

Jay Shetty 6:52 Amazing.

Alia Bhatt 6:52 And then Darlings after that.

Jay Shetty 6:54 Amazing also.

Alia Bhatt 6:55 But those conversations were very, very kind of, you know, specific to film conversation. I think I overspoke that year. I just felt like I just have spoken so much, I don't have anything more to say professionally. There never came an opportunity where I wanted to, or there was, like, somebody approached me to just sit down and have a conversation about life, nothing to do with movies or whatever. So it just didn't happen. But I did stay away from doing interviews in 2023, only because I genuinely didn't have anything new to say professionally. Like, okay, a film is coming out, watch it, there's nothing, nothing to say. In fact, a lot of people even said, "You know, what's... Why have you, like, shut us out?" And I said, "I've not shut anybody out. I just don't have [laughs] anything new to say." Once I feel like I have some- something more to say vis-à-vis movies or films, I'll, you know, maybe I'll take up an interview or something. Actually, just talking about life-

Jay Shetty 7:50 Mm

Alia Bhatt 7:50 ... it's not come my way.

Jay Shetty 7:51 Yeah. Well, tha- thank you for trusting us-

Alia Bhatt 7:53 [laughs] Yeah

Jay Shetty 7:53 ... and thanks for doing this. I wanna rewind back, 'cause I love learning about how who we were in childhood affects who we are today, I think. And now that you're a mother, too, I'm sure you can see it-

Alia Bhatt 8:03 Yeah

Jay Shetty 8:03 ... even though it's very early days, just how our early experiences create such impressions on who we become, what we're attracted to. And I wonder, what did little Alia want to be, or who did she want to be when she grew up?

Alia Bhatt 8:16 I was fascinated by the television. That's something that I remember very clearly when I was growing up. In fact, my mom and I speak about it right now, because she said, "My God, was I a horrible mother? Because right now I'm so conscious of my daughter's-"

Jay Shetty 8:31 Screen time

Alia Bhatt 8:31 ... screen time." Not like she has any major screen time at all. She's not even, you know, looked at the iPad. But, like, even if she's watching a song on the television and stuff, I'm like, "Oh, you know, we should limit the time." And my mother's like, "Was I a horrible mother? 'Cause we just let you be in front of the TV because I, you know, I [laughs] ... Like, that's, that's what seemed normal at that time." So I've said, "No, you weren't horrible. It was a new phenomenon at that time, perhaps." So, but I'm grateful that she didn't stop me from being in [laughs] front of the television, because a lot of my dreaming and imagining and sort of getting lost in the world started from there. So I loved dreaming, you know? And that's my most fondest memory growing up, whether it was in my classroom, whether it was in front of the television, uh, whether it was, like, on my way to school, on my way to something, just getting lost in my own thoughts, imagining being in front of the camera one day. Not like I really knew the intricacies of being an actor or, you know, the layers behind cinema and the shaping of cinema. In fact, one thing I say very candidly is that my cinematic knowledge is not as strong. You know, I don't, I've not seen every movie in the book. I don't know every director. I don't know all tech... I, I'm very popcorn-like with my entertainment. Like, "Oh, good movie, let's watch it. Let's enjoy it," you know?

Jay Shetty 10:01 [laughs] Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 10:02 I do have specific actors that I'm very fond of, but I, I don't have all the answers if you talk about, like, yesteryear actors and, you know, or filmmakers or musicians or anything like that. I, I don't have all the answers. And growing up also, it's not like I was bookish about it. I didn't study it. I just experienced it through my imagination, and, like-

Jay Shetty 10:23 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 10:24 ... just enthusiasm to be entertained.

Jay Shetty 10:26 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 10:27 So that was a lot of my childhood, and of course, memories with my friends, and that's a very big part of who I am.

Jay Shetty 10:36 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 10:37 Endlessly laughing with my friends.

Jay Shetty 10:39 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 10:39 Um, doing random things. Till now, we laugh about the same things- [laughs]

Jay Shetty 10:44 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 10:44 ... that we laughed about, you know, 15 years ago. So that's really basically what my childhood was all about. You can't change a person's grain, you know?

Jay Shetty 10:54 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 10:54 So my grain is to just, like-

Jay Shetty 10:55 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 10:56 ... enjoy, what I call, like, maza. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 10:58 Yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 10:58 I just wanna have fun. I grew up watching Govinda and Karisma Kapoor dance.

Jay Shetty 11:03 Yes.

Alia Bhatt 11:03 So the, I remember that as a very strong memory in my brain, is that they kept dancing in different spots, sometimes in a garden, sometimes on the road, sometimes on, you know, in the Swiss Alps, and sometimes-

Jay Shetty 11:13 Yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 11:13 ... and they kept changing their clothes. So I was like, "Why isn't any- anybody stopping them from changing their clothes?"

Jay Shetty 11:18 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 11:18 Like, you know? And, or, "Why isn't anybody stopping them from stopping the traffic and dancing on the road?" I didn't really put two and two together and understand that this is a film, it's being shot, there's a crew. I was also really little. I think I was, like, three or four. But I remember this question mark, like, what's happening behind that screen?

Jay Shetty 11:36 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 11:36 What's happening there? It's fascinating. And that's what really got me very attracted to that being my career in life.

Jay Shetty 11:46 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 11:47 And then when I think about it, I'm pretty sure subconsciously, you know, my father's a filmmaker and my mother is a actor, um, done theater. I'm pretty sure I just s- was hearing a lot of that conversation in the house, and that must have gotten into my conscience somehow, and that must have become a focus, like, interest point-

Jay Shetty 12:06 Mm

Alia Bhatt 12:06 ... naturally.

Jay Shetty 12:07 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 12:09 ... this connection that I formed with the television, [laughs] just me and the television, happened very, like one-on-one

Jay Shetty 12:14 Yeah, I love that. Yeah, my, my mom told me that when I was a kid, all I'd do was watch Maine Pyar Kiya over and over again.

Alia Bhatt 12:20 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:20 Like, that was the movie for some reason. I have no idea why.

Alia Bhatt 12:23 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:24 But, like, that was the movie that I grew up on.

Alia Bhatt 12:26 I watched Judai. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:27 Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, I know that movie.

Alia Bhatt 12:29 Again-

Jay Shetty 12:29 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 12:29 ... and again-

Jay Shetty 12:29 Anything

Alia Bhatt 12:30 ... and again.

Jay Shetty 12:31 Yeah, and it's so weird, right? My mom's always like, to me, like, "That's what you used to watch." And now, I, I, I probably watched the movie when I was a bit older, and I was like, "It's good, but-"

Alia Bhatt 12:38 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:39 "... I don't know why I watched it that many times." [laughs] And I was probably that, that young age as well.

Alia Bhatt 12:43 Yeah

Jay Shetty 12:43 And it's, it's amazing how there's lasting impressions from that.

Alia Bhatt 12:46 The most important moments in my life, you just want these people around you. You don't want many people around you. You just want your really close friends around you and your family around you. It's definitely ever-evolving, the feeling of motherhood. When you speak about surprises, there are multiple surprises on a daily basis.

Jay Shetty 13:07 Would you say that you were always a confident kid and teenager, or did that take time to build?

Alia Bhatt 13:13 I was pretty confident. I don't think I had confidence issues. I was very happy on my own. Y- you know, when you're in school, sometimes you find the need to be, like, hang out in groups, although I had a very healthy group. My friends would always make fun of me and say, "Why are you always walking alone? You always end up walking alone with a frown on your face," because my resting face is a frown.

Jay Shetty 13:34 Right.

Alia Bhatt 13:35 So, a lot of the times, people think I'm upset about life. Actually, I'm not upset about life, I'm just living life, because my resting face is a frown. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 13:43 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 13:45 So, I'm on my phone doing something, and they're like, "What happened? Did something happen?" I'm saying, "No, everything's fine," but my face is like this.

Jay Shetty 13:50 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 13:51 Um, so that's my resting face. So, I was very comfortable being on my own, doing my own thing, as I am now, and I think that's also a second child thing, is what, from what I understand, is because you're obsessive about the first child, and-

Jay Shetty 14:07 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 14:08 ... the second child just grows up.

Jay Shetty 14:09 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 14:10 You know, because you're like, "Ugh, I can't do it all over again the same way."

Jay Shetty 14:13 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 14:13 At least the parent is like that. I don't know, but that's what I've understood and I've heard, and I think a lot of that rubbed off on me, because I know my sister and I respond to situations very differently, and I'm always way more, "Tsk, let it be. Who cares?" You know?

Jay Shetty 14:27 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 14:27 "Yeah, so," about things.

Jay Shetty 14:29 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 14:29 And she's, "But no, but why? But," you know, and all of that.

Jay Shetty 14:33 Yeah. It's a, it's a, it's an interesting one, how people can see being alone as being distant when, like you're saying, it's actually-

Alia Bhatt 14:43 I mean, that does happen sometimes, that people do f- m- might feel that because I'm a bit of, like, I'm happy being on my own, that there is some, like, distance or there's a feeling of, um, not wanting to engage. I don't think I not, don't want to engage, it's just, like, I'm very comfortable, uh, like, staying silent as well.

Jay Shetty 15:04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 15:05 You know?

Jay Shetty 15:05 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 15:06 And that's what I would happen in school. It's not like I would not want to hang out with my friends, but I was okay also just walking by myself. I didn't need to hold somebody's hand and walk. A- and I think that said a lot about just my dreamer personality, what I was talking-

Jay Shetty 15:17 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 15:17 ... about earlier.

Jay Shetty 15:18 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 15:18 It gives me the space to sort of float a bit.

Jay Shetty 15:21 And you were talking about friendship, uh, which I think is such an important part of our lives, and it seems to be such an important part of yours. How have your... Are those friends that you had then-

Alia Bhatt 15:29 Yeah

Jay Shetty 15:30 ... I assume they're the same friends you have now. They're people that you've kind of grown up with.

Alia Bhatt 15:34 Yeah-

Jay Shetty 15:34 Have-

Alia Bhatt 15:34 ... the exact same friends

Jay Shetty 15:35 ... what's their life look like? Like, are they all in the industry, too? Are they doing different things? Like-

Alia Bhatt 15:39 So, um, most of them aren't. Just my best friend, um, Kanchi, Akansha, she's also an actor. We all have, like, live in different parts of the world. M- like, four of us live in Mumbai. One of my best friends, she lives in New York. The other lives in Toronto. One lives in London. One lives in Singapore. We're a group of nine girls.

Jay Shetty 16:00 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 16:01 And honestly, the reason, I have to give them a lot of credit, because the reason we're s- I can still say they're my best friends and we're so close is because of the patience that they've given me, you know? My journey, uh, as an actor started very early. I, I started working at the age of 17, and when you're newly, you know, pursuing your career, your focus becomes your career. And even though I always made it a point to hang out with my friends, sometimes you start taking your friends for granted. Um, and I, that naturally did happen. And of course, the great thing is the same things that we used to fight about 10 years ago is the same thing that we-

Jay Shetty 16:38 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 16:38 ... possibly fight about today. So, what, what's lovely is nothing's changed. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:43 [laughs] Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 16:43 Um, but what's also lovely is that there's still something to fight for, you know? Um, and it, I do give them a lot of credit for that, for just being patient with me, you know? Showing up even though m- many times I can't show up because I'm work or I'm, I'm working or I'm here or I'm there, you know? Um, making excuses for me when, when I'm unable to be at a particular, you know, getaway or a party or a dinner. But I do my bit to, you know, reconcile and-

Jay Shetty 17:15 [laughs] Make up for it

Alia Bhatt 17:16 ... you know, make up for it. Um, but yeah, j- they're really like my family, and I, and that's something that's very clear, that when you make friends that stay with you for so long, they, they're, they're your family, and a lot of people told me that, "Tsk, you know, actors don't really have friends." I don't know.

Jay Shetty 17:33 People said that to you?

Alia Bhatt 17:33 Just, yeah. So I said, "But why?" [laughs] This is in the, in the beginning when I started acting, and, well, you know, your friends are your life. Um, but they're like, usually doesn't happen because you land up leading such isolated lives, and you're so busy. It's very difficult to hold on to the earlier friendships. Also, difficult to understand an actor's life or somebody who's in the industry, their life, because it's so random and haphazard. So, props to them-

Jay Shetty 17:59 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 17:59 ... for really, like, yeah.

Jay Shetty 18:00 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 18:00 They, they've really, and they've made an effort to even understand my work. But now everything's changed, because now I've, I have a daughter.

Jay Shetty 18:09 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 18:09 You know? So now it's like there's a new girlfriend in the family.

Jay Shetty 18:13 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 18:14 And now it's all about, like- They don't even wanna talk to me.

Jay Shetty 18:16 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 18:17 They just wanna talk to her. [laughs] I was, like, FaceTiming my friend yesterday who is in New York, and we were FaceTiming, and Raha was there, my daughter, and her foot was in my face. And I was trying to talk about something very serious, and she's like, "I'm sorry, I just can't focus because I'm only looking at Raha's foot-

Jay Shetty 18:30 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 18:31 ... [laughs] which is in your face. Yeah.

Jay Shetty 18:33 I love that. I love that. I wanna, I wanna jump, uh, I wanna talk about Raha in a second, but when you were talking about your friends, I don't have an actor's life, but my life is also on a plane, traveling, moving around. And I speak to my best friend, who was my best man at my wedding, probably three times a week. And I completely agree with you. It's all because of him. Because when I pick- call him, he'll make time.

Alia Bhatt 18:56 Mm, yeah.

Jay Shetty 18:56 He'll shift his schedule. He'll be a-

Alia Bhatt 18:58 Yeah

Jay Shetty 18:58 ... available to figure out a way, and because of that, it allows me and us to maintain this friendship when, you know, I left living in London eight years ago, and we've been able to, with all our time zone issues and everything else-

Alia Bhatt 19:12 Yeah

Jay Shetty 19:12 ... maintain this friendship that we've had for 20 years now.

Alia Bhatt 19:15 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 19:16 And I'm so grateful to him, because you're so right that if individuals like that... And again, we do our own part and make up for it, and now I'm flying to Dubai to go and see him because he now moved to Dubai. And so I'm making sure that I go and take out a few days to just catch up with him.

Alia Bhatt 19:32 Yeah. Like, when, when I met you in New York for breakfast, the day before that, I was, spent the whole day with my friend Meghna who live, who's my New York friend. Um, so the two days that I was there, I made sure that I met her on the one whole day that I was there. And it's, it's like I do, you do your best, but I know in my heart that they're doing better, and I'm very grateful to them for that. Um, and whenever it feels like, you know, because it's a, it's life's give and take, right? Whenever it feels like one's taking too much and the other's giving too much, you know, we find a way to balance it out.

Jay Shetty 20:07 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 20:08 It is some- something that really grounds me, and I remember, like, at the most important moments in my life, I, you just want these people around you. You don't want many people around you. You just want your really close friends around you and your family around you.

Jay Shetty 20:23 Mm. Yeah, you're so right. What, what was it like with your wedding with having them there? Was that, like, a special experience?

Alia Bhatt 20:30 Yeah. We got married at home, at, at our house where we've been, we were living together and are still living currently. And, uh, yeah, it was, like, 40 people, and my girlfriends were, like, 9 out of the 40 [laughs] people and their plus ones. And, and it was amazing, and it, and it's, it's one of the fondest memories that I've had. But, like, I remember even when I was, you know, in hospital, like, just I'd give, after I'd given birth and everything, like, I asked my sister, you know, [lips smack] "Have you told the girls?" You know, "Have you informed them?" It, it's the first, it, it comes to my mind, like, these things, they're sort of embedded in me, in my body. And, um, even though it's not every day, even though it's not every week that we hang out and meet or speak as often, they're a part of my life-

Jay Shetty 21:18 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 21:18 ... in, in a very deep way.

Jay Shetty 21:20 Now, now I'm not surprised that any of your friends wanna ignore you and talk to Raha, 'cause she's so adorable.

Alia Bhatt 21:25 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:26 I was, I was just telling you, I saw this video of you. I think you and Ranbir and her were traveling, and the paps were, like, waving at her and said hi.

Alia Bhatt 21:33 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:33 And then she waved back and said hi, and it was, it was the most adorable thing. I sent it to my wife straight away. I was like, "Look how cute she is." Like, she's adorable, and

Jay Shetty 21:41 how has motherhood been for you so far? I remember, like you said, in New York, you were missing her.

Alia Bhatt 21:45 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 21:46 Like, I remember you talked about her so much. Like, how has it been for you? What has been a surprise, and what has been something that you expected it to be that way?

Alia Bhatt 21:55 I don't think you can prepare yourself for what you're about to feel. To be very honest, my mother said this to me earlier. Before I gave birth she said, you know... I said, "Do you remember something, something?" And she's like, "No, I don't remember." I said, "Why don't you remember anything?" She said, "Because you'll be surprised you forget."

Jay Shetty 22:12 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 22:12 "You forget what happens before." I've forgotten a lot of what it was pre-motherhood in terms of my feeling or my way of life or the way my brain functioned at that time. My days are so full now. In fact, I wonder what I was doing with my time earlier. Even if I was not work, like, if I was not working, what was I doing in the day? Because now it's a full day. I wake up at 7 o'clock in the morning, and, you know, she's asleep, asleep by 8:30, 9, and I'm asleep soon after by 10:30. From 7 to 10:30 it's like on a, you're on a treadmill, you know? It's just like you're running.

Jay Shetty 22:49 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 22:50 When you speak about surprises, there are multiple surprises on a daily basis currently because she's a toddler. She's a two-year-old ri- like, now. She's just turned 2. So now she's really bubbling.

Jay Shetty 23:02 Yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 23:02 Uh, a lot of surprises every day. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 23:04 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 23:05 It's definitely ever-evolving, the feeling of motherhood, but I think one thing I can say for sure, and it's a, it, it is a good thing, but sometimes it can also be a bad thing. Bad is the wrong word, but, like, it can albe- also be something that people have to put up with, is that I think I've just, of course, become very incessantly protective-

Jay Shetty 23:26 Mm

Alia Bhatt 23:26 ... ever since she was born. So I remember the months, earlier months, um, after she was born, it was bliss for me. I really enjoyed the instant sort of survival, you know, like, this, this being needs m- me to survive at this moment, you know? So that very survival sort of nurturing feeling, even though it, there were sleepless nights, et cetera. And of course, I have to acknowledge the fact that I have, I'm hugely privileged in that aspect, that I have help and I have a great support system and all of that. But that instant sort of bonding period, I deeply enjoyed it, but I was also filled with so much worry. And that's something that I have to talk about very openly, and that's- A very normal feeling is what I understand for mothers to feel, especially new mothers to feel. But what I also learnt with time is that the worry doesn't go away, it just changes form, and it depending on your personality a- as to how anxious your mind is or whether, you know, you're able to deal with certain situations better, it might, um, move forward differently. But it's a beautiful combination of feeling extreme love with extreme worry. There's a lot of worry. And by worry and, I mean, I don't feel like I'm stressed out or that I'm, like, stressing her out. I think I become pretty childlike when I'm with her. One thing I'm pretty mindful about is, um, to really enjoy her childhood, you know? A lot of parents who are, like, who have kids 18 year old, 20 year olds, keep telling me, "Enjoy this time. Enjoy this time." In fact, in New York, I met a woman in an elevator who was there to drop her son off to college, and she... I was holding Raha in my hand, who was, um... Not when I was there for the Met, right after. I was holding Raha in my hand and, you know, Raha was fidgeting with her, and she said to me, she said, "Just enjoy this time. I'm, I'm dropping my son off to college, and time just flies." And I could see the pain in her eyes. So I really take that advice very seriously about enjoying the time. So I really try and be very present with Raha, which is something that I don't do very often in my other, you know, moments in life. I'm always, like... People are always telling me, "You've left the building. You've reached home." I'm always, like, 10 steps ahead, but with her, I'm, I try to be a lot, like, in the present and in the moment, and it happens more naturally because I want to enjoy every second. But there is a sense of, like, you know, I'm always... Like, my heart is just way wide open, and I'm just, like, always worried about something or the other vis-à-vis her. But I'm, I'm guessing that's something that I'm just gonna have to, like, live with for the rest of my life.

Jay Shetty 26:17 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 26:18 What we don't realize is our parents are also just, what we were discussing, giant babies. You're so used to, like, thinking about your life like this.

Jay Shetty 26:25 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 26:25 Like, "This is my moment and my this," and then when you just cut, you think about it at a la- on a larger scale, all the worry just disappears. So when I look at the struggle and the suffering that there is in the world, it really makes me count my blessings and be so grateful for everything that we have in our lives, because it's hard for people in the world.

Jay Shetty 26:51 What's it been like to see Ranbir become a dad, and a girl dad especially, like?

Alia Bhatt 26:55 He's amazing. He's very creative when it comes to entertaining her. She entertains him as well. Like, they both have a very special, um, friendship, I would say. Their bond is not... Like, you'd feel like they're two friends. Like, either two adults or two toddlers.

Jay Shetty 27:17 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 27:18 You know, different, at different moments in life. And he's, like, literally for, when he looks at Raha, it's like stars in his eyes. There's that... And of course, for any parent, but I, I... When I see it, because I've known Ranbir pre, and I know him now, I see the difference. I see the difference in the way he is with people, you know, as a, as a father. He's just so sort of full, you know? It's not like he was ever edgy or ever... He always had a very calm demeanor or anything.

Jay Shetty 27:54 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 27:54 But there's a fullness which I've experienced firsthand, and that I see on a daily basis.

Jay Shetty 28:01 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 28:02 And it's actually really sweet and special to, you know, watch their conversations, and very often I'm just, like, sneakily, you know, videotaping a lot of their random moments, and they don't even know I'm doing it. Eventually, I guess one of them looks at the camera, and then I put it off.

Jay Shetty 28:19 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 28:19 But it's just the beginning.

Jay Shetty 28:21 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 28:21 But the beginning is just so unique and special, at least from where I'm sitting and from what I've seen. And just to watch your partner also manifest love [laughs] in that way is very interesting.

Jay Shetty 28:32 Go on. What do you mean?

Alia Bhatt 28:34 I mean, we have love for each other, right? I have love for Ranbir, Ranbir has love for me. I have love for Raha, Raha has love for me, and, and Ranbir, and Ranbir has love for Raha. So it's, you see different moments of love transpire differently in one house, in one, under one roof, and it wasn't always like this, right? Like, Raha's come into our life now, so you know the before and the after. Although, I don't remember much of it, like as I mentioned earlier. But you know moments and you know feelings, and you know how every... Like, we've watched sunsets together, but now when we're watching the sunset with her, it's, it's a different feeling.

Jay Shetty 29:09 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 29:10 You know? It's a very beautiful feeling.

Jay Shetty 29:12 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 29:13 It's very fulfilling.

Jay Shetty 29:14 Yeah. So sweet. You're making me feel like I've got so much to look forward to.

Alia Bhatt 29:17 Mm.

Jay Shetty 29:17 So I'm like... Yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 29:19 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 29:19 No, I'm like, I, I, I always tell Radhi, I'm like, "I wanna be a girl dad so bad," like-

Alia Bhatt 29:23 Oh, yeah

Jay Shetty 29:23 ... but yeah.

Alia Bhatt 29:24 And he really wanted to be a girl dad.

Jay Shetty 29:26 He did?

Alia Bhatt 29:26 Yeah, he really did. I'm doing this thing where I send Raha emails. Um, I've been doing it since she's born, every month.

Jay Shetty 29:33 Oh.

Alia Bhatt 29:34 And, um, like, just, like, an amalgamation of, like, photos and videos and what happened, and just thoughts and feelings and-

Jay Shetty 29:41 Wow, that's so cool

Alia Bhatt 29:41 ... it's like... Yeah, it's, somebody, somebody said that somebody, this was somebody. So I was like, "This is a great idea," because it's like a live memory book, you know? I don't have the discipline and the energy to actually fill out an, a physical memory book, so I thought this is like a digital way of doing it.

Jay Shetty 29:57 It's easier to search as well.

Alia Bhatt 29:57 It's easier, yeah.

Jay Shetty 29:58 Yeah, yeah, for instance, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 29:59 And, um, and it's nice. Like, when maybe she's 15, you know, I'd give this to her and say, "Listen, this is all the memories that we collected for you over the years, and go ahead and have some fun."

Jay Shetty 30:11 What a special gift. What kind of things have you put in there right now?

Alia Bhatt 30:14 Just, like, photos, um, you know- ... videos, thoughts. Mainly just visuals of her with either, like, us, with, with either one of us or her grandparents or, you know, her aunt or uncles and stuff like that, and just m- random moments, you know? And like a little note that you did this today and, you know, we had such a lovely trip here and something happened, and just sharing.

Jay Shetty 30:38 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 30:39 Whatever I can. It's like within the moments, whatever comes out at that time. But yeah, so when I'm sneakily recording the two of them, it's... Uh, and I sometimes when I review it and it's, uh, it's, it's really very heartwarming to watch because you know that this is, like, something very special is just cooking. Like, I remember in New York we were speaking about this, and I remember my mom sent me a photo of, like, a baby walking down the street with, like, many bags. Like, it was like a random, like, a Pinterest image or something. And I discussed this with you and, and we said, we actually both agreed that we're actually all giant babies through, through our lives, at least for our parents.

Jay Shetty 31:21 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 31:21 Like, no matter how old we become, we're still babies.

Jay Shetty 31:24 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 31:25 You know? Um-

Jay Shetty 31:25 That's what they see.

Alia Bhatt 31:26 That's what they see, and I, I see that now, you know? I see that now when every time I would travel my mom would say, "Okay, be careful before you cross the road."

Jay Shetty 31:34 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 31:35 You know, "Take care of your arms and legs."

Jay Shetty 31:36 And you get so frustrated.

Alia Bhatt 31:37 Yeah, I'm like, "What are you saying? What do you mean take care of your arms and legs?"

Jay Shetty 31:40 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 31:41 But I understand that now.

Jay Shetty 31:43 Yeah, yeah. I, I, I mean, I'm not, I'm not a parent, but everything you're saying to me, even when I think about it for a second, I think I'd be exactly the same. I'm like that with my friends' kids. Like, if my friends' children are over... And I remember my f- friends, I can't remember what they were doing, something called adventure parenting or something, I can't remember-

Alia Bhatt 31:59 Mm

Jay Shetty 31:59 ... it was one of these parenting techniques. So we're sitting at one end of a living room, the kid is at the other end of the living room, and she's, like, just learned to walk, but she's, like, putting her hands through candles like this. And so I'm about to run over and, like, take their kid [laughs] away from the candle, and they're like, "No, no, no, she'll learn." And they, that was their parenting technique.

Alia Bhatt 32:18 Okay.

Jay Shetty 32:18 And I, my heart was like... I was, and it's not even my child, but I'm feeling so much.

Alia Bhatt 32:23 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 32:23 Like, and, you know, I'm constantly, like, whenever I see kids running around, again, friends' kids in my home or whatever, I'm, like, looking for their heads to not bump-

Alia Bhatt 32:30 Yeah

Jay Shetty 32:30 ... against the table. Like, I find myself even being that way now, so I can't imagine-

Alia Bhatt 32:34 Yeah

Jay Shetty 32:34 ... when it's your own child, like.

Alia Bhatt 32:35 You know, one thing is worry for the physical-

Jay Shetty 32:38 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 32:38 ... physical danger or within the moment, but the other worry is also worry whether you're doing your parenting bit right.

Jay Shetty 32:47 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 32:48 Worry whether you're giving them, you know, the right tools to go with. And, like, and she's so small right now. She's two, so it, there's no need for me to be thinking about all of this. But every moment is a learning, right? If I'm trying to impart some sort of life knowledge to her in a specific moment, say she's having, dealing with an emotion and I need to help her deal with it. Because basically what, what, from what I've underst- understood is that this is where they really start, like, pushing their boundaries and understanding the world. And instead of confining them to specific emotions that this is the way you're supposed to be and this is the way you're not supposed to be, you help them deal with every emotion, you know, specific... 'Cause happiness is easy to deal with, but the other ones are not, right?

Jay Shetty 33:34 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 33:34 Um, and it starts, it starts now. It starts very early. So giving her the tools to deal with these emotions, I need to have those tools myself as well, number one.

Jay Shetty 33:45 Yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 33:46 Number two, I think this is where my, you know, cutting, fast-forwarding to the future happens, is that I, I know I can't be a perfect parent, and from what I understand is I can just be good enough, but I have to be able to be so present and one with her feeling what she's feeling, asserting certain, um, values and behaviors, but also just letting her be.

Jay Shetty 34:11 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 34:12 You know? So there's so many of these permutation combinations that I'm just, like, constantly toying with. So that's one other worry, about, like, just future and life, and then of course there's this physical thing. And then is she eating well and is she sleeping well and, you know, uh, what's gonna happen tomorrow and what's gonna happen day after, and I'm also a working mom. Again, I have to acknowledge my privilege. I do have a great support system around her, but the worry's not gonna leave. You know, like, oh, if I'm away, is somebody gonna say something? Is she gonna pick up on something that I would not want her to pick up on? All those things. But, you know, you just take each day as it comes-

Jay Shetty 34:48 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 34:48 ... and just move forward. So I guess the reason I'm speaking about it is because it's, it's a very real feeling, and it's not something that-

Jay Shetty 34:57 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 34:57 ... I've just got figured out since day one. I, I, I'm constantly sort of wrapping my head around it on a daily basis. But apart from that, it's joyous. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 35:07 [laughs] No,

Jay Shetty 35:09 I appreciate you being so honest about it, because I think the worry point, and especially what you raised, this idea that as humans we judge ourselves so much, but there's probably no role that we judge ourselves in as much as being a parent. Because you can almost really see how this innocent, beautiful being is taking on so much of your energy, your words, your behavior, the environment, and I think that almost makes us so mindful and thoughtful because with our partners, with our parents, we, we can c- you know, we can kind of be a bit lax and-

Alia Bhatt 35:44 Of course

Jay Shetty 35:44 ... sometimes we can say things we don't mean or whatever. But when you're with a child, it's almost like you realize how precious-

Alia Bhatt 35:50 Yeah

Jay Shetty 35:50 ... they are and, and how those exchanges are. And it's so interesting what you're saying, this idea of self-judgment. And, and it's fascinating because I've met people who've said, "My parents were always around, and gosh, it was really, really hard." And then I meet other people who say, "My parents were never around, and it was really, really hard." And then you hear, "My parents-

Alia Bhatt 36:11 Yeah

Jay Shetty 36:11 ... forced me to study this, and I don't like them for it." And then someone says, "My parents forced me to study this, and I love them for it." And it's, it's almost like you kind of look at that and you go, "Well, how do you win?"

Alia Bhatt 36:21 You don't, though.

Jay Shetty 36:22 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 36:22 That's the thing, because human beings are hard, and what we don't realize is our parents are also just- What we were discussing, giant babies.

Jay Shetty 36:30 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 36:30 You know? So we're all figuring ... I know I'm a mother right now, and it's not like I've got it all figured out, and I have ... By, by all figured out, I mean, it's not like, oh, I have all the answers to life-

Jay Shetty 36:41 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 36:41 ... you know, for every particular issue. Most definitely do not.

Jay Shetty 36:45 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 36:46 I'm very grateful for the life that we have and the comfort that we enjoy, and I literally am so much more grateful after becoming a mum. It's, it's so surprising how you're ... I think what we were talking about what's surprising, I always found myself to be somebody who had, you know, a decent amount of empathy. But I think the empathetic quotient just truly multiplies once you're a mum, because you, you picture your child in every situation. So when I look at the struggle and the suffering that there is in the world, it really makes me count my blessings and be so grateful for everything that we have in our lives, because it's hard for people in the world. And it's not ... I'm always somebody who likes to believe in the good and the positivity, and I'm always trying to put out, oh, the, there's light at the end of the tunnel, and, you know, it's going to rain because the sun can shine. That's my belief. And you only is- appreciate the sunshine when there ... These are all great quotes for Instagram, but when it's real life, um, and you see the suffering and, and, and the struggle that some people have to go through, it's ... You really have to be, just take a second and be like, "Wow, everything's good." You know? Just cut to a wide shot and everything is great. In fact, very often what I do, especially when I'm having a bad day, I have this little balcony at the back of my, my bedroom, and it's, like, really small. It's more like, like an, like a fire exit or something, and I just go and stand there. And I can see a lot of ... Because in Bombay, a lot of the buildings, especially where I live, are, like, very close together. So this might sound a little creepy, but when, when, um, [laughs] I go and stand there, like, like, I look ... I just have, like, a wide view of activity in different people's homes. Somebody's walking with some clothes. Somebody's watching television. I'm not looking into their bedrooms. But it just gives me a sense of life existing whilst yours is, and it just puts a lot of things into perspective.

Jay Shetty 38:55 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 38:55 Because you're so used to, like, thinking about your life like this.

Jay Shetty 38:58 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 38:58 Like, "This is my moment and my this and that." And when you just cut and you, you think about it at a la- on a larger scale, all the worry just disappears.

Jay Shetty 39:07 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 39:07 You know?

Jay Shetty 39:07 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 39:07 And you just, you just re- y- you take a second and you just feel very grateful for where you are in life.

Jay Shetty 39:13 Yeah. I could tell how much that was-

Alia Bhatt 39:15 Yeah

Jay Shetty 39:15 ... you look on the verge of tears.

Alia Bhatt 39:17 I mean, that's what I'm saying. When I talk about it, because that's how much maybe internal worry I have, just as a person, for people in the world, and also for m- most, most importantly, for my loved ones and for my daughter. But that's how my world has opened up-

Jay Shetty 39:33 Mm

Alia Bhatt 39:33 ... I think, post being a mum.

Jay Shetty 39:35 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 39:35 Way more aware about the other life that exists as opposed to your own.

Jay Shetty 39:40 Yeah. Have you thought about things you wanna do or get involved in to help the communities or people that you're noticing or things like that, that-

Alia Bhatt 39:49 I mean, I, I'd, I'd rather do and not talk.

Jay Shetty 39:52 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 39:52 'Cause sometimes it feels like you're talking to make a point just to see-

Jay Shetty 39:55 Sure

Alia Bhatt 39:55 ... what a great person I am. I think there's definitely on a ... I can, I can be a way nicer person on a daily basis and way more helpful, but I do whatever I can do and, um, help however I can help.

Jay Shetty 40:07 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 40:07 Whether it's, you know, for people, for animals, whatever I can do. But of course, I think I'm probably just even, not even scratching the surface. Um, there's way, way, way more that I can do on a daily basis.

Jay Shetty 40:20 No, I appreciate that. I think, I think all of us can and feel that way.

Alia Bhatt 40:24 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 40:24 And, and you're right, it's better to do and not talk. So I appreciate your humility in that way and, and keeping it that way. I was thinking about this idea, this concept you brought back from our conversation, which shows that you're a good listener and have a great memory. Because the fact that you're recalling our conversation from, like, nearly a year ago now, if not two years.

Alia Bhatt 40:41 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 40:41 Maybe-

Alia Bhatt 40:41 A year ago

Jay Shetty 40:42 ... a year ago now.

Alia Bhatt 40:43 Mm. Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 40:43 And-

Alia Bhatt 40:44 Now two years ago. Yeah.

Jay Shetty 40:44 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 40:44 So we're in 2025.

Jay Shetty 40:45 Right?

Alia Bhatt 40:45 Correct.

Jay Shetty 40:46 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 40:46 Two years ago. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 40:47 Right? It was 2023, no?

Alia Bhatt 40:48 Mm.

Jay Shetty 40:48 Or no, maybe '21.

Alia Bhatt 40:49 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 40:49 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 40:49 We ... Yeah, '23.

Jay Shetty 40:50 '23.

Alia Bhatt 40:50 '23.

Jay Shetty 40:51 And so, like, this big baby-

Alia Bhatt 40:53 '24.

Jay Shetty 40:53 24? Was it 24? Yeah, maybe it was 24.

Alia Bhatt 40:55 '24.

Jay Shetty 40:55 Maybe it was '24.

Alia Bhatt 40:56 '24.

Jay Shetty 40:56 Um,

Jay Shetty 40:57 but this big baby idea, what parts of yourself do you think you're still babying or that are still a baby in your own self emotionally?

Alia Bhatt 41:05 Oh, I think I still experience ... Okay, speaking just about movies and cinema, because I think when I watch a movie, I experience it like I w- like a child would, you know?

Jay Shetty 41:14 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 41:14 I, I'm not, um, measured with my emotions or my responses. In fact, very often I'm, like, if I'm watching whoever I'm watching, whether it's, you know, Ranbir or my sister or something, I'm like, "What's gonna happen now? Why is she doing that?" [laughs] They're like, "We did not make the movie. We don't know." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 41:29 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 41:30 But I'm like, "I'm just so involved in it and I just need to know."

Jay Shetty 41:33 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 41:33 So I'm, like, chatting through it. Um, so I think in that way, um, when-

Jay Shetty 41:37 So Ranbir's like a silent watcher?

Alia Bhatt 41:39 Ranbir is, yeah. He ... And he's, he between the two of us is, is much better, you know, vis-a-vis his cinema knowledge and movies, and he's way more diligent with it. In fact, a lot of my movie watching experiences is shared with him and because of him. Yeah. But, like, I, I'm like always, "And then what, and then what?" And then he was like, he's like, "Mm."

Jay Shetty 42:00 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 42:02 "We'll, we'll find out."

Jay Shetty 42:03 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 42:04 "I don't know." [laughs] You know? Same with my sister. I'm like, "Shahid, why, why is this happening?" And she's like, "I don't know, Alia, I did not make it." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 42:11 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 42:12 You know? Um, so in that sense, I'm, I'm very physically involved. So I'm not like an adult watching a movie and all. I'm a child. Um, I think still- This would happen to me as a, as, as a child, as a kid a lot, is that if I'm, like, exhausted, tired, I would just cry. You know, and not realize why I'm crying. And I'm like, "Oh, everything's horrible."

Jay Shetty 42:34 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 42:34 And my mother would be like, "Darling, are you tired?"

Jay Shetty 42:37 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 42:37 "Do you need..." I said, "I'm just, everything's a bit hard." So that happens to me when I'm tired-

Jay Shetty 42:42 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 42:42 ... even now. I'll suddenly, like, just start weeping about something completely-

Jay Shetty 42:46 Wow

Alia Bhatt 42:46 ... random.

Jay Shetty 42:47 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 42:47 And it happened to me a couple of weeks ago, actually. I was with my friends, and I just started crying about something not being right, and they're like, "Are you okay?" And then I'm like, "I'm just tired." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 42:56 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 42:57 Like, I'd not had a good night's sleep.

Jay Shetty 42:59 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 42:59 So that happens to me a lot. I think, also, curiosity.

Jay Shetty 43:03 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 43:03 I don't think, um, my curiosity has left me. I can see that now, as when, like, with Raha and stuff, she always wants to know, "But why, why doing that? Why is that? Who's that? Who that person?" Like, always wants to know everything.

Jay Shetty 43:15 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 43:15 I want to know the conversation that's happening across the room between two people, that I know, of course, and I'm, like, watching them speak-

Jay Shetty 43:24 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 43:24 ... and, you know, like, trying to read what they... And then, like, lip read what they're saying to each other. And if I couldn't understand bits of it, then I would just ask, "What happened? What happened? Who said what?"

Jay Shetty 43:33 [laughs] Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 43:35 You know, so the curiosity is still alive.

Jay Shetty 43:37 Yeah, yeah. Ra- Radhi does it with people we don't know.

Alia Bhatt 43:39 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 43:40 We'll be at a restaurant, and she'll be like, "Let's pretend we know what conversation they're having and let's have our own conversation."

Alia Bhatt 43:44 Oh, I love doing that.

Jay Shetty 43:45 She loves doing that.

Alia Bhatt 43:46 I love doing that.

Jay Shetty 43:46 I'm like, "Just talk to me, man."

Alia Bhatt 43:48 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 43:48 Like, she's like, she's like, "No, no, this is more interesting. Let's do this." [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 43:51 I, I-

Jay Shetty 43:51 I'm like, "All right then"

Alia Bhatt 43:51 ... I, I, yeah, especially if somebody's having a fight, then you wanna e- overhear it even more. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 43:55 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's like, "Oh, what do you think they're talking about? Let's, let's pretend to have their conversation." [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 44:00 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 44:00 I'm like, "I don't know what they're talking about. I know nothing about them."

Alia Bhatt 44:04 Like, it's okay. Whatever, healthy baby. That's all you want-

Jay Shetty 44:05 Yeah, of course

Alia Bhatt 44:06 ... a healthy baby.

Jay Shetty 44:06 Of course, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 44:07 And then you know-

Jay Shetty 44:08 That is the number-one priority

Alia Bhatt 44:08 ... you got what you wanted, yeah.

Jay Shetty 44:09 No, that is the number-one priority.

Alia Bhatt 44:10 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 44:10 You're right.

Alia Bhatt 44:10 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 44:10 A healthy child is, is the most important priority, but there's, there's particular things. And, and Radhi is one of two girls, so she's kinda used- she's, like, okay with that. And so, but you had no preference. You were, like, kinda like, whatever comes.

Alia Bhatt 44:24 Yeah, I was like, just health.

Jay Shetty 44:26 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 44:26 You know, that time I was just thinking about, like-

Jay Shetty 44:27 Of course

Alia Bhatt 44:28 ... health, health, health, everything goes well, smoothly. But of course, I think she's really, like I said, even for my girl gang, they were, like, so excited. We're going, "We have... But girls trips are now gonna be so different," you know.

Jay Shetty 44:40 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 44:40 My best friend-

Jay Shetty 44:41 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 44:41 ... one of my best friends is getting married this year, and she's like, "Are you coming?" She's like, "Yeah." She's like, "I don't care if you're coming. I hope Raha's coming." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 44:47 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 44:47 I was like, "Yeah, Raha's coming."

Jay Shetty 44:48 I love that. What, what's, uh... Has Raha already watched any of your movies already?

Alia Bhatt 44:52 No-

Jay Shetty 44:52 No

Alia Bhatt 44:52 ... she's too, she's too small to-

Jay Shetty 44:53 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 44:54 ... like-

Jay Shetty 44:54 Even-

Alia Bhatt 44:54 ... watch a full movie.

Jay Shetty 44:55 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 44:55 She's watched m- multiple songs, um, of mine and Ranbir's, and now we've sort of exposed her to other people's songs as well. But she, I think now she's got this feeling that everything is our song.

Jay Shetty 45:06 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 45:07 In fact, the other day, we, some song played, and I was like, "Oh," it was like, I think it was a Shah Rukh Khan song from Mohabbatein. And I was like, "Oh, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo." I was doing some dance step, and she's like, "Mama, your song?"

Jay Shetty 45:16 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 45:17 So I was like, "No." "Mama, Papa's song?" So I was like, "No, this is Shah Rukh Khan's song."

Jay Shetty 45:21 [laughs] And she's like-

Alia Bhatt 45:23 So she, she was not sure. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 45:25 You've played so many powerful women on screen, so many, and I've always admired you for the choices of roles you've played. I think I said that to you when we first met. What's the one you're excited for her to see? Is there one movie that you think, I can't wait for her to be able to watch this? And obviously, at different ages, she'll be able to watch different ones, but.

Alia Bhatt 45:47 I mean, when she's much older, I'd, I'd want her to, at, in her own time, watch the films that really sort of, um, shaped me as an actor, and the experiences that I learned a lot from. Like, for example, a film like Highway.

Jay Shetty 46:03 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 46:03 Um, and a film like Gangubai, or, or a film like Raazi.

Jay Shetty 46:08 Raazi, I was about to say.

Alia Bhatt 46:09 Yeah. But in fact, I o- recently realized that I, I don't have many child... I mean, some of them, but like, very, like-

Jay Shetty 46:17 Yeah, child-friendly

Alia Bhatt 46:17 ... child-friendly films.

Jay Shetty 46:18 Yeah, no, no, definitely.

Alia Bhatt 46:19 You know?

Jay Shetty 46:19 That's why I was saying that-

Alia Bhatt 46:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 46:21 ... at a certain age.

Alia Bhatt 46:22 Yeah. So, so in fact, that ma- has made me want to take up a film that is loved by kids, or that it's, like, a kid-friendly film.

Jay Shetty 46:33 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 46:33 It's recently made me want to do that, and I, I'm now, I'm, I'm on the hunt.

Jay Shetty 46:38 Yeah, [laughs] 'cause now you're looking at your filmography and going, 'cause she's gonna have to be-

Alia Bhatt 46:41 Yeah

Jay Shetty 46:41 ... 18 years old to watch them.

Alia Bhatt 46:42 Exactly. So I was like, yeah, she can watch a couple of films. So I'm not sure how much she'd want to watch, like, Gangubai-

Jay Shetty 46:47 [laughs] No, no, yeah

Alia Bhatt 46:48 ... and, you know, Highway at this age.

Jay Shetty 46:50 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 46:51 Or not this age-

Jay Shetty 46:51 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 46:51 ... or even when she's four or five or six. I want her to enjoy films that are like...

Jay Shetty 46:54 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 46:55 So I know Brahmastra is a film that kids liked a lot. Like, when I meet kids now, they say Brahmastra, or they say, like, Rocky Rani, and-

Jay Shetty 47:02 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 47:02 ... I like your this song. Kids more, they like songs.

Jay Shetty 47:05 Songs, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 47:06 I remember, like, I grew up watching songs. I mean, my memory is more so of music.

Jay Shetty 47:11 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 47:12 And that really le- leaves a long lasting impressions. That's one thing that I feel very grateful for, is that I can sing to my daughter. I mean, I'm, I'm glad I have a decent voice, um, because very often, you know, she demands songs out of me.

Jay Shetty 47:26 Yes. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 47:26 And I'm just, like, singing, and I'm like, especially when I'm putting her to sleep. So, yeah, now I'm on the hunt to do, like, more kid-friendly.

Jay Shetty 47:33 Yeah. I love that. I could see you doing a voiceover, too, of an animation or-

Alia Bhatt 47:37 Oh, yeah, I'd love that

Jay Shetty 47:38 ... something like that. Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 47:38 I'd love that.

Jay Shetty 47:39 That, that would be super fun. I could see you do that.

Jay Shetty 47:41 What's a role that you played that you see yourself in, that most felt like you?

Alia Bhatt 47:46 Mm.

Jay Shetty 47:46 Is there a role that you played that feels like you personality-wise?

Alia Bhatt 47:50 I don't say this. Um-

Jay Shetty 47:52 Your friends

Alia Bhatt 47:52 ... a lot of the people who, uh, who, who love me and who know me say this, and it's gonna sound bizarre, but they say I'm Gangubai.

Jay Shetty 48:00 No way.

Alia Bhatt 48:01 Yeah. They, like, they, they say that that's my alter ego, you know, the personality, the boisterousness, the way she... Not, not her situation, of course, not her circumstances-

Jay Shetty 48:12 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 48:12 ... but the way she... And I think that's also somehow, there was, like, a nice push and pull in, in, in playing that part. She was very gangster. She was very... I think that is my alter ego.

Jay Shetty 48:26 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 48:26 I don't think that that's the way I am in my real life. Um, but it's, it is definitely the part that I enjoyed- ... depicting the most.

Jay Shetty 48:35 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 48:36 Um, in a sort of humorous way, a lot of my friends and people say, "You're Gangu. She's Gangu bai."

Jay Shetty 48:42 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 48:43 You know, and they say that. Um, but I think there is some truth to that, only I guess from the essence of the fact that she's a child, but she's got a certain, like-

Jay Shetty 48:52 Yeah, she's got some spice.

Alia Bhatt 48:54 Yes, exactly.

Jay Shetty 48:55 And some, like-

Alia Bhatt 48:55 Pizazz

Jay Shetty 48:55 ... yeah, some fieriness. And then what's a character or role that you've played that you'd like to borrow some energy from?

Alia Bhatt 49:02 So I think at this particular moment, I need some playful, bubbly energy-

Jay Shetty 49:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Alia Bhatt 49:06 ... which is, like, sort of superficial, if you call it, or frivolous-

Jay Shetty 49:11 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 49:11 ... or it's just, like-

Jay Shetty 49:12 Silly and-

Alia Bhatt 49:13 Silly.

Jay Shetty 49:13 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 49:14 Um, so I was actually thinking about this the other day, but I feel like I need some of that, so there's this-

Jay Shetty 49:19 Rocky aur Rani had a bit of that.

Alia Bhatt 49:20 Y- Rocky aur Rani had that-

Jay Shetty 49:21 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 49:21 ... but she was also a little like a journalist.

Jay Shetty 49:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 49:23 You know? Um-

Jay Shetty 49:24 She, yeah

Alia Bhatt 49:24 ... a little, so maybe I can take it from Rocky's character-

Jay Shetty 49:26 Yeah [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 49:26 ... not from Rani so much. But there's this character that I played in Humpty Sharma Ki Dulh-

Jay Shetty 49:31 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 49:31 ... Dulhania. Her name is Kavya. I was actually watching a song of that the other day, and I was like, "I don't remember who, you know, that girl was at that time," that feeling. Not, like, I feel like I'm, like, old or something like that. But there was, like, a silliness there-

Jay Shetty 49:48 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 49:48 ... that I feel that I can do more with.

Jay Shetty 49:50 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 49:50 You know?

Jay Shetty 49:51 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 49:51 'Cause I think I was pretty silly, and now I've just become a little bit more in control at most times.

Jay Shetty 49:59 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 50:00 Which I think I can do with some silliness.

Jay Shetty 50:02 Yeah, yeah. I f- I feel like when I met my wife, I was like, I took life very seriously, and she's, like, just silly and playful all the time, and it's so helpful having that because otherwise, you're so right, you just kind of get-

Alia Bhatt 50:14 Yeah

Jay Shetty 50:15 ... stuck in your ways and-

Alia Bhatt 50:15 But honestly, I- if... 'cause you asked character, so I said-

Jay Shetty 50:18 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 50:18 ... I named this character.

Jay Shetty 50:20 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 50:20 Because I was also watching this song the other day. But actually, I wanna... I have, I have my daughter in front of me, and I, I get that silliness from her.

Jay Shetty 50:27 From her, yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 50:28 So actually, I just, like I was saying earlier, I just tune into that moment with her. I just need to do it more for me, though, like, for my-

Jay Shetty 50:38 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 50:38 ... vibe and not just when I'm with her.

Jay Shetty 50:40 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 50:41 You know? Be more open to a silly joke as well.

Jay Shetty 50:45 Yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 50:46 You know? And, like, crack a silly joke-

Jay Shetty 50:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Alia Bhatt 50:48 ... if at all. I think I don't do that anymore.

Jay Shetty 50:50 Okay.

Alia Bhatt 50:51 Yeah. It's become a bit [laughs]

Jay Shetty 50:54 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 50:54 It's becoming a bit too grown-up.

Jay Shetty 50:56 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 50:56 Do you, are you someone that energizes when you're on your own, or energizes when you're around people?

Alia Bhatt 51:01 Certain people can really energize me.

Jay Shetty 51:04 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 51:05 But I think I'm mostly energized on my own.

Jay Shetty 51:07 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 51:08 More than a certain number of people, I think, can really drain-

Jay Shetty 51:11 Mm

Alia Bhatt 51:11 ... the energy out. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 51:12 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 51:13 And that's, does tend to happen, say I, say if I've gone on a promotional tour for a film, because you're just meeting so many people and you're engaging. By the end of it, I'm just drained.

Jay Shetty 51:23 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 51:23 You're just zapped, you know, because you're just constantly engaging so much. I think I'm also one of those people who is very, you know, I, like, I think of, mm, there being, like, this sort of twinkly light in front of me, where I feel like I'm always... I can take people's energy in pretty quickly. I'm not somebody who's just blocked off to everybody's energy. So if somebody's walked into the room and they're not having a bad day, that'll reach me very quickly.

Jay Shetty 51:48 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 51:49 If someb- something has happened, um, which is a, like, chaotic situation, it's not like I can block it off.

Jay Shetty 51:56 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 51:56 So I'm very receptive to people's energies, so I can s- you know, almost like it, it comes right to me. So I, which is why I maybe prefer to not engage as much and-

Jay Shetty 52:09 Yeah, yeah

Alia Bhatt 52:09 ... to stay out of most conversations, and/or to stay, like, speak to just the people that I'm most comfortable with, 'cause I'm familiar with their energy. There's nothing new there. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 52:18 [laughs] What do you do with the energy when it comes to you and you're sensing all-

Alia Bhatt 52:22 When it's new.

Jay Shetty 52:22 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 52:23 Oh, it does. I behave very weirdly sometimes.

Jay Shetty 52:25 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 52:26 I really do. Have, I've noticed that about myself later on. I'm like, "Why did I behave so weird in that moment?" And, like, a friend, like, somebody who knows me very well, would be like, "I find it strange talking to you at parties sometimes, Alia, because you can behave really strange and say some very strange things." Because I's so, I'm so confused with the different multiple energies, I don't know what to do with them.

Jay Shetty 52:45 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 52:46 You know? But what helps is your surround system and the people that are around you, especially the team that I work with. They know me so well, that even if I'm having a day like that, that's why it's very important for me when I'm working with a particular team for me to be very comfortable with them.

Jay Shetty 53:06 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 53:06 Because if I'm not comfortable with them, all this will add to my daily energy zapping, you know? Again, it, it seems like I'm talking about all my energy and my things. That they might have their own day.

Jay Shetty 53:19 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 53:20 And I'm very receptive to that as well. And everybody's sensitive to everybody. And here, because I'm talking about myself, I just thought that, like, you know, it's important to find a way to go through the day where you do your own thing and you don't demand too much from people, and likewise, vice versa, I don't demand too much from people as well when I'm going about my day.

Jay Shetty 53:42 When did your self-care and mental health advocacy work begin? Like, what was it that led you in that direction, where you started to prioritize-

Alia Bhatt 53:50 Talk about it

Jay Shetty 53:50 ... self-care, talk about anxiety, talk about mental health? Like, when did that become important for you, and why?

Alia Bhatt 53:55 I think my sister, m- she was a huge part of that, I think. And obviously, I'm doing it at a very small level.

Jay Shetty 54:02 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 54:02 Whenever I can talk about it through my own lens, I do. Shaheen, my sister, wrote a book.

Jay Shetty 54:08 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 54:08 Um, it's called I've Never Been Unhappier, and, um, she's, you know, lived with depression since she was 13.

Jay Shetty 54:15 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 54:16 And, um, has built some amazing tools in life to be where she's at today, and she speaks about it beautifully. So something about her honesty, um, m- made, inspired me to talk about it, not in a way where you seem like you're complaining about your life, because again, you're not in a position to complain, you have it all, but just to talk about it so that somebody somewhere watching might just resonate with it-

Jay Shetty 54:45 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 54:46 ... and feel like Oh, okay. You know, I was, I was having, um, I was having the same day, or I, I, I have the same feelings. Uh, so it's, I'm not alone, you know?

Jay Shetty 54:58 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 54:58 Everybody feels it. It's, it's happened very often with me where I've seen some A-list celebrity, Hollywood, international, or, like, even here, speak about something, and, um, I've resonated or connected with that, and I was like, "Oh, they're feeling it as well." So, you know, it's happened, it happens with all of us. So that's when I think I became more open to talk about having any specific anxiety. And also, I was recently clinically diagnosed with it, so I had a proper-

Jay Shetty 55:31 Wow

Alia Bhatt 55:31 ... backing [laughs] for me to not just say I'm just having an anxious day, okay? It's, it's not just that. Um, ADHD and, um, anxiety. And I actually seeked it out only because I was actually finding it very hard in, um, my body was heating up in social gatherings, and I was, like, physically responding to it. Um, so I was also finding it very hard to focus on certain things, and my focus was going in and out. And then I realized that I gave myself a lot of credit for being some, a, an amazing multitasker, and then I realized that, yeah, I can multitask, but it does take a toll on me.

Jay Shetty 56:08 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 56:09 And I need to understand why it's taking a toll on me, 'cause I'm forgetting the most random things. Like, things that I have scheduled, I'm forgetting. Why am I forgetting these things? So I did a test, a professional test, not like some random personality test or something, um, over three days, and, you know, I was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. And immediately I was happy. My ADHD, in me, gave me in, it gave me information, right?

Jay Shetty 56:33 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 56:33 So whenever there's lack of information is when I get most thrown off. Um, so I'm always seeking information, comfort, very averse to change. So the minute I was aware of these things, it's actually made dealing much simpler.

Jay Shetty 56:48 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 56:48 And I'm not on any medication or anything, although I can be, but I chose not to, and I'm actually just actively working on it to help, um, get through it.

Jay Shetty 57:00 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 57:00 And I think I manage pretty well.

Jay Shetty 57:02 Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I mean, I think it's so useful for people to hear that, because, a- as you said, we always think everyone else is doing just fine, and especially at parties and events. It's fascinating to me how many people who go to these, whether award shows, whatever it may be, the amount of people who say to me, "I am so anxious," and everyone's feeling that way. Everyone's going through it. Everyone's worried about what they're wearing, how they look, how the night's gonna be, who they're gonna bump into. Like, it's so incredible that everyone's feeling the same way, yet everyone's trying to act normal. And so I think, you know, people like yourself sharing that you feel it, you experience it, and also how a diagnosis can actually relieve you of that pressure-

Alia Bhatt 57:45 It does

Jay Shetty 57:46 ... yeah, and relieve you of that stress.

Alia Bhatt 57:47 Because it makes you feel like, you know, the, you're, y- there's a lot of con- there's a lot of noise, there's a lot of chatter in your brain, and you feel like, "Is it just my brain?"

Jay Shetty 57:56 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 57:56 "Or is it just something that is happening to me today?" And one, the minute you find an answer to it, you feel like, "Oh, it's not, it's not something that I was just making up for myself."

Jay Shetty 58:07 That's what it is, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 58:07 Yeah. I, and I- it just, I think it's comforting.

Jay Shetty 58:10 Yes.

Alia Bhatt 58:10 It's comforting to know that you had an inclination that something was holding you back from going about your day in a specific way, and now there's an answer to it.

Jay Shetty 58:19 Yes.

Alia Bhatt 58:20 You get the comfort, and then you put specific to- sort of, you know, structures in place in your life to help you get through that.

Jay Shetty 58:28 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 58:28 And whatever that may be. To each his own. I chose to find ways to center myself through different ways and, you know, support, u- use the support of my team to n- maybe delegate a little bit more, do things so that I'm not ... Remind me about certain things. All those little, little things where I was, like, forgetting the most random things. But I think the need for getting it more in order came after being a mom-

Jay Shetty 58:49 Mm

Alia Bhatt 58:49 ... 'cause I was like, "I don't wanna forget anything related to my daughter," you know? I think that was my big fear.

Jay Shetty 58:53 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 58:53 Again, parenting pressure, which you-

Jay Shetty 58:55 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 58:55 ... that you put on yourself, et cetera. But yeah, that would, th- uh, that happened, I think, last to last year, and it's been a while since that happened. The reason I also, again, talk about it is not to seem like, "Oh, I'm having such a hard time," and, "Look at me," and like, you know, "Feel bad for me." It's none of that. And I think a lot of the times it's me and my sister when we sit and talk about it, it's not like we're only talking to each other about how we're struggling, but it'll just somehow come up when we're talking about this happening, and it's just understood that it's because of X, Y, Z reason. So the next time you talk about it, there's no need to explain-

Jay Shetty 59:32 Mm

Alia Bhatt 59:33 ... again. So it's like an unsaid conversation. So I think the reason I'm also talking about it is that maybe a lot of the times I might respond a certain way in a public event-

Jay Shetty 59:42 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 59:42 ... or a gathering or a situation or a conversation or a talk, and maybe I'm responding because of X, Y, Z reason.

Jay Shetty 59:51 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 59:51 You know?

Jay Shetty 59:52 Yeah. For sure. For sure. And you were reminding me of something. When you talked about multitasking, uh, there was a study that showed that only 2% of the population, the world population, can actually multitask. But when 98% of people hear that, they think they're that 2%.

Alia Bhatt 1:00:06 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:00:06 And so everyone thinks that they can multitask, but really it's, it's such a rare, rare, rare ability.

Alia Bhatt 1:00:12 I actually realize I cannot multitask.

Jay Shetty 1:00:13 [laughs] I definitely can't.

Alia Bhatt 1:00:15 I can't.

Jay Shetty 1:00:15 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:00:15 Because I, it, it, it, like, I, I j- I can't.

Jay Shetty 1:00:19 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:00:19 So I can take up multiple, multiple, um-

Jay Shetty 1:00:23 Projects

Alia Bhatt 1:00:23 ... projects.

Jay Shetty 1:00:24 Yeah, at the same time.

Alia Bhatt 1:00:25 And I can, I can be diligent. The word is I can micromanage. I can micromanage multiple things.

Jay Shetty 1:00:32 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:00:32 But I definitely cannot multitask.

Jay Shetty 1:00:34 No, definitely.

Alia Bhatt 1:00:34 I thought I could always multitask, but I can't.

Jay Shetty 1:00:37 Yeah. No, but it's what you said. It, the, the trick is you think you can do it, and you can probably do it for some time, but what you don't realize is that that battery runs out, and then very quickly you realize you can't do it at all. And so maybe you can do it for a day, or maybe you could do it for an hour or two, and then-

Alia Bhatt 1:00:52 Maybe with certain things. I mean, I would always say, I think, oh, women are always u- used to multitasking and all. Maybe we are.

Jay Shetty 1:00:59 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:00:59 I don't know. I would say this, but I've grown to realize-

Jay Shetty 1:01:02 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:01:02 ... about myself that, in fact, I almost stop hearing one thing if I'm focusing on the other. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:01:07 [laughs] Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:01:07 It's like m- it's just my brain just shuts the other part down.

Jay Shetty 1:01:10 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:01:11 What have been some daily practices or habits that have changed your life, that have really helped you deal with the crazy schedule, now becoming a mother, playing all the different roles that you play? What have been some non-negotiables that you've really had to hone in on?

Alia Bhatt 1:01:26 I have to be very frank here, because there have been multiple habits that I tried to set in place for myself, but I've not followed through with either. So I'm one of those people who hasn't [laughs] uh, been able to s- Let's see. When I... I'm not talking about getting a workout in or... That's like a daily habit which has become like a part of my life now. It's not even a habit. Looking outside the window and listening to music and really unwinding. I'm not talking about those things, because those are, that's life.

Jay Shetty 1:01:56 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 1:01:57 But like, for a brief period, I was used to write things down so I could remember it. I don't do that anymore. For a brief period, I used to meditate because it used to help center me. I don't do that anymore. For a brief period, I used to color and paint whenever I used to feel anxious. I don't do that anymore. I just don't do anything anymore.

Jay Shetty 1:02:13 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:02:13 You know? So I'm actually, because I think-

Jay Shetty 1:02:15 I love that honesty.

Alia Bhatt 1:02:16 Yeah. Because a lot of people sometimes feel like, especially now, 'cause 2025 started the new year, you need to set new year resolutions, need to do something new. You need to, you know, um, take control of your life in this particular way. There is that pressure to do that and do that and do that and do that. And in fact, there was this challenge called the 75 Hard that I-

Jay Shetty 1:02:38 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:02:39 ... heard about, and I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna do the 75 Hard, and, you know, I'm gonna do this." And my sister was like, "Alia, you're not."

Jay Shetty 1:02:45 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:02:45 "Because you have enough going on. Now you don't need one more challenge."

Jay Shetty 1:02:49 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:02:49 [laughs] "You know? You're a mom, and you're working, and you're doing... Like, don't. Like, right now you, others might be able to. Specifically you do not need to take this on."

Jay Shetty 1:02:59 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:03:00 And I was like, "Yeah, why am I gonna take it on? Because again, I'm gonna be compelled to go through with it."

Jay Shetty 1:03:04 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:03:04 "And I'm not gonna be able to go through with it, and then I'm gonna feel like a failure."

Jay Shetty 1:03:07 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:03:08 Which is fine. I'm okay with feeling like a failure, but, you know, why do I add something more to my plate? So I've just realized to cut the clutter, do what comes naturally.

Jay Shetty 1:03:18 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 1:03:19 So there's nothing new that I can speak about as a non-negotiable-

Jay Shetty 1:03:23 Mm

Alia Bhatt 1:03:23 ... um, because I haven't stuck with it. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:03:28 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:03:28 That's the truth.

Jay Shetty 1:03:30 And I love the honesty.

Alia Bhatt 1:03:31 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:03:31 I think that's gonna help so many people.

Alia Bhatt 1:03:33 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:03:33 Just like, you don't... Yeah, it's, it can get so, like, you hear like, or some- I remember at one point in my life, my morning schedule is still pretty intense, but it used to be even more. Because I'd have journaling, and I'd have gratitude, I'd have this, and I'd have that. And so much of it, what I've realized, just becomes natural.

Alia Bhatt 1:03:49 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:03:49 And so now it doesn't need to be this forced habit. 'Cause it-

Alia Bhatt 1:03:52 Like my-

Jay Shetty 1:03:52 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:03:52 ... like my workouts are perhaps for myself.

Jay Shetty 1:03:54 Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:03:55 You know? It's become so natural that I have to get a workout in-

Jay Shetty 1:03:59 Totally

Alia Bhatt 1:03:59 ... a daily.

Jay Shetty 1:04:00 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:04:00 Like six days a week. For example, I'll give, uh, last year, the start of 2024, I started the year by finishing a book, and I was like, "Wow," because I hadn't finished a book in a really long time. I was like, "Wow, this year I'm gonna finish at least five books."

Jay Shetty 1:04:13 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:04:13 That was the last book I finished last year.

Jay Shetty 1:04:15 [laughs] I love it.

Alia Bhatt 1:04:16 [laughs] It's not, 'cause I would always start a book and not finish it, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:04:21 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:04:21 Um, so I read a couple of books on, like, parenting and this and that-

Jay Shetty 1:04:24 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:04:24 ... and, like, different, different things, but I would not finish the books.

Jay Shetty 1:04:26 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:04:26 So I was like, "I'm gonna finish five books this year." Didn't finish anything.

Jay Shetty 1:04:30 I love it.

Alia Bhatt 1:04:31 So already, like, you know, mid, mid 2024, I was like, "I'm already slacking." You know?

Jay Shetty 1:04:37 Yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:04:37 "I'm already behind my goals." So I decided this year I'm not gonna make any resolutions or whatever. I'm just gonna be. Just gonna live, gonna go about the day, and do what comes naturally.

Jay Shetty 1:04:48 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:04:48 Because if it comes naturally, it'll stick.

Jay Shetty 1:04:50 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:04:50 And it'll become a part of your life anyway.

Jay Shetty 1:04:53 Yeah. I think you're gonna relieve a lot of people of pressure and stress.

Alia Bhatt 1:04:57 Yeah. I think it is, it is important to acknowledge that not going through with new tasks that you set, you set for yourself for self-growth is okay. As long as you're mentally conversing with yourself and actually being aware of the areas of growth, that kind of growth is enough. I'm very eager to grow in life, spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally. But you can do that through, through listening and through-

Jay Shetty 1:05:25 Mm-hmm

Alia Bhatt 1:05:25 ... conversation and through talking to yourself.

Jay Shetty 1:05:27 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 1:05:28 Conversation with yourself, I think that's my non-negotiable.

Jay Shetty 1:05:31 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 1:05:32 But I don't call that a daily practice.

Jay Shetty 1:05:33 No, that's great.

Alia Bhatt 1:05:33 I think that's, like, that's an hourly practice.

Jay Shetty 1:05:36 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:05:36 You know?

Jay Shetty 1:05:37 Yeah, that's constant.

Alia Bhatt 1:05:38 That's constant, and that everybody does.

Jay Shetty 1:05:40 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:05:40 So that's also enough. But I do have to say, it's very therapeutic for me to watch other people go about their re- regime and their lives-

Jay Shetty 1:05:46 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:05:46 ... on Instagram reels. When I see, like, Sunday resets and Saturday resets and people lighting a candle and cleaning their house. I love it.

Jay Shetty 1:05:53 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:05:53 It's so relaxing. It just makes-

Jay Shetty 1:05:55 And you can feel like you did it yourself.

Alia Bhatt 1:05:56 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:05:57 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:05:58 Yes. I think that's what it is. It's a guilty pleasure 'cause it feels like it was me, but it's actually not.

Jay Shetty 1:06:02 Yeah, you're just living vicariously through them.

Alia Bhatt 1:06:05 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:06:05 It's like ASMR as well. It's like that feeling.

Alia Bhatt 1:06:07 Oh, yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:06:08 Are you an ASMR fan?

Alia Bhatt 1:06:09 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:06:10 Yeah. Yeah, it's such a, like, it's such a therapeutic healing process, seeing people do things that are good for themselves-

Alia Bhatt 1:06:15 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:06:15 ... for sure. It's amazing.

Jay Shetty 1:06:17 Alia, it's been such a joy talking to you today.

Alia Bhatt 1:06:19 Thank you so much.

Jay Shetty 1:06:19 Thank you so much for being so open, being so honest.

Alia Bhatt 1:06:22 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:06:23 I think you made me laugh.

Alia Bhatt 1:06:24 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:06:25 You nearly made me cry. You nearly made yourself cry. Uh, it's been such a joy getting to know you more deeply, and I'm so grateful that my audience did as well. We end every show with a final five.

Alia Bhatt 1:06:35 Okay.

Jay Shetty 1:06:35 These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. We do this with every guest. So Alia Bhatt, these are your final five. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

Alia Bhatt 1:06:47 From my father, "I'd rather be stupid than pretend to be intelligent."

Jay Shetty 1:06:52 When did he say that to you, and how has it impacted you?

Alia Bhatt 1:06:56 He said this to me when I think I was wary of asking a question in class, and he said, "You'd rather be stupid than pretend to be intelligent, because if you don't ask the question, you'll never learn." Especially today, I think there's, um, such little patience for getting things wrong. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:07:16 Mm-hmm. Mm.

Alia Bhatt 1:07:17 So I'd rather be wrong- ... then pretend like I have the answer, because if I have the answer, then I'd never know the reali- like, I would never know the answer. And I don't mean this, like, can Google the answer if I have to and pretend that I have the answer.

Jay Shetty 1:07:33 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:07:34 But I'd rather not do that. I'm okay with not having the answers, 'cause I learn it when I-

Jay Shetty 1:07:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:07:39 ... if I ask the question.

Jay Shetty 1:07:40 Yeah, I love that advice. Uh, second question, what's the worst advice you've ever had or received?

Alia Bhatt 1:07:46 It was very simple. I think it's... And then that le- le- left a big impression on me. It was very simple of like, "Why can't I do that?" "It's because you're a girl." Somebody said-

Jay Shetty 1:07:55 Mm

Alia Bhatt 1:07:55 ... that to me. So, and it didn't make sense to me. I think I was very young. It was a very simple thing about maybe going out somewhere or something. "Why can't I do that?" "Because you're a girl."

Jay Shetty 1:08:08 Ha- have you felt that continue-

Alia Bhatt 1:08:09 No

Jay Shetty 1:08:09 ... in any part of your career? That was, uh-

Alia Bhatt 1:08:11 Um-

Jay Shetty 1:08:12 ... that kind of judgment and?

Alia Bhatt 1:08:13 I, like I said, not of late.

Jay Shetty 1:08:15 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:08:15 Not, not that I can remember in any specific way. I'm sure many people have, though. Uh, it's continuous, but n- not something that I've experienced of late that I can remember very clearly.

Jay Shetty 1:08:25 Yeah, yeah. Question number three, how did you choose the name Raha?

Alia Bhatt 1:08:29 I think, so this was when both Ranbir and I were, you know, like eager parents asking, we have family group, asking all the family members to give both boys and girls names, so we're prepared, so we can zero down on, like, a girl name and a boy name.

Jay Shetty 1:08:42 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:08:43 Um, so there were multiple boy names and multiple girl names and, um, we really liked one boy name. We said, "Okay, this is a lovely boy name," uh, which I'm not gonna reveal now. And we said, "Okay, this name is lovely. Now, any more girl?" And then my mother-in-law, Ranbir's mom, suggested, "What about Raha? It'll go very well with the boy name as well if you ever have a boy."

Jay Shetty 1:09:09 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:09:10 You know? And a girl, if you have a boy and girl both, it'll be a really good combination. And then she suggested a girl and girl combination as well. But Ranbir and I instantly loved-

Jay Shetty 1:09:20 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:09:20 ... Raha. So we had two names, just boy and girl ready.

Jay Shetty 1:09:24 I love it. Does it have a meaning? Is there a meaning behind it?

Alia Bhatt 1:09:27 Raha?

Jay Shetty 1:09:27 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:09:27 Yeah, Raha means peace. It means joy. It means bliss.

Jay Shetty 1:09:31 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:09:31 All, all the things that she is to us.

Jay Shetty 1:09:33 Yeah. It's beautiful. I love that. It's a beautiful name. It's so unique as well.

Alia Bhatt 1:09:36 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:09:37 It's really nice. Uh, question number four, if you had to define this chapter of your life in one word or one sentence, what would you call it?

Alia Bhatt 1:09:46 Growth.

Jay Shetty 1:09:47 In what way?

Alia Bhatt 1:09:49 You know, there's a feeling where, where you feel like your purpose is perhaps, 'cause it's about On Purpose, so your purpose is perhaps outward, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:10:01 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 1:10:01 Need to achieve this, need to do that, need, you know, need to... This chapter of my life is very, is very inward and not like I'm actively feel like there's a need for it. I'm just finding myself being way more interested in growth, in the-

Jay Shetty 1:10:17 Mm

Alia Bhatt 1:10:17 ... different facets of my life.

Jay Shetty 1:10:19 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 1:10:20 As a parent, as a partner, as a friend, as a person, as a professional, I'm eager to grow.

Jay Shetty 1:10:27 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:10:27 You know? Not change anything majorly, but to really grow.

Jay Shetty 1:10:31 Nice. What's something you wish people knew about you that maybe they don't know?

Alia Bhatt 1:10:35 I think most people know I'm random and I'm strange and all those things. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:10:42 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:10:42 Um, but there's this, um, uh, Friends has really impacted me, the, the TV show Friends. And there's this one episode where Phoebe is being proposed to by her partner. Oh my God, what's his name? Matt, Dan, f- one of them.

Jay Shetty 1:10:57 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:10:57 Her final partner.

Jay Shetty 1:10:58 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:10:59 And he said, "Phoebe Buffay, I love you. You are this, you are that, and you're so wonderfully weird." I think that's the one thing that really stuck with me is because I want people to accept all the wonderfully weird parts of them-

Jay Shetty 1:11:13 Mm

Alia Bhatt 1:11:13 ... as I do of mine.

Jay Shetty 1:11:14 Mm. I love that.

Alia Bhatt 1:11:15 You know? I don't think anybody's perfect or has, has everything in order or does everything correctly or, like, right or whatever. Um, but I love being wonderfully weird.

Jay Shetty 1:11:25 Mm. I love that.

Alia Bhatt 1:11:26 I think pri- I take pride in that.

Jay Shetty 1:11:28 Yeah. I love that. I love that. Uh,

Jay Shetty 1:11:30 I've got two more questions. I've added a couple in because I got so curious again. Uh, what's, what's your current dream? What's... You said you're a dreamer at the start.

Alia Bhatt 1:11:39 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:11:39 What do you dream of now?

Alia Bhatt 1:11:41 I'm a very passionate, um, actor, professional, producer. I mean, I, I'm passionate about that, so I have dreams with regards to my work, which I don't think ever ends, you know? I, and I don't think I'm ever comfortable, and I, and I really like that about my mind, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:12:03 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:12:03 Um, so I had a film released that, last year, that didn't do really well, and that's given me a new vigor-

Jay Shetty 1:12:11 Mm

Alia Bhatt 1:12:11 ... for a new dream, you know, to try and do over, you know? It, it's something that really, that I feel very charged by, so that's the professional dream.

Jay Shetty 1:12:23 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 1:12:23 And I think, again, to just soak up as many moments as I can with my family, with my daughter.

Jay Shetty 1:12:30 Mm. Mm.

Alia Bhatt 1:12:31 And, um, if possible this year, take a solo trip.

Jay Shetty 1:12:35 Nice.

Alia Bhatt 1:12:36 Yeah. Alone for four days.

Jay Shetty 1:12:38 Yeah, I love that.

Alia Bhatt 1:12:39 Yeah, I think Ranbir and I both, both discussed and we both were very excited about it. I said, you know, "We both, like, carve out a time where you take, like, four days on your own, and I take four days on my own, and let's see what happens there."

Jay Shetty 1:12:51 Where did this come from?

Alia Bhatt 1:12:53 I don't know. It came from us actually not d- not doing it in a really long while, and both of us are like, we're homebodies and lone bodies.

Jay Shetty 1:13:00 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:13:00 You know? Like, we like to lone around on our owns, uh, on our owns, [laughs] on our own.

Jay Shetty 1:13:06 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:13:06 Um, s- and we both thrive-

Jay Shetty 1:13:09 Mm

Alia Bhatt 1:13:09 ... um, individu- like, together, but individually as well.

Jay Shetty 1:13:12 Yeah. I love that. Any ideas where you'd go?

Alia Bhatt 1:13:15 Not sure.

Jay Shetty 1:13:16 Okay.

Alia Bhatt 1:13:16 We, we literally had this conversation-

Jay Shetty 1:13:18 I love-

Alia Bhatt 1:13:18 ... two weeks ago. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:13:19 [laughs] Any, any types of places that call to you? Like, not even actual locations, but do you know what kind of-

Alia Bhatt 1:13:24 Because I'm, I'm a water person

Jay Shetty 1:13:25 ... feel? Okay, got it. Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:13:26 ... like I'm, I'm a fish Piscean, so I love-

Jay Shetty 1:13:28 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:13:28 ... the water, so it would have to be a beach location-

Jay Shetty 1:13:30 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:13:30 ... 'cause I love the water and the sun. And I would take many books, and I would read them, and I would finish them-

Jay Shetty 1:13:37 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:13:37 ... you know, things like that.

Jay Shetty 1:13:38 I love that.

Alia Bhatt 1:13:38 So that's the, that is the dream. Again, it's a great, very comfortable dream to have.

Jay Shetty 1:13:43 Yeah. Are you big into star signs?

Alia Bhatt 1:13:45 Oh, huge.

Jay Shetty 1:13:46 Okay, so, yeah, 'cause you said that Raha's a Scorpion.

Alia Bhatt 1:13:49 Yeah, Raha's a Scorpion.

Jay Shetty 1:13:50 You're a Pisces.

Alia Bhatt 1:13:50 I'm a Pisces.

Jay Shetty 1:13:50 What date's your birthday?

Alia Bhatt 1:13:52 15th of March.

Jay Shetty 1:13:53 15th of March. Okay, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:13:53 I'm a number six.

Jay Shetty 1:13:55 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:13:55 And so is my daughter.

Jay Shetty 1:13:56 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:13:56 She's number six, born in the year of six.

Jay Shetty 1:13:59 Wow.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:00 So I'm very into numbers, and thanks to Puneet, my makeup artist-

Jay Shetty 1:14:03 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:14:03 ... who is also my dear friend, she actually got me very influenced, um, in, into this whole astrology, numbers situation now.

Jay Shetty 1:14:12 So teach us something. Show, tell us. Uh-

Alia Bhatt 1:14:14 No, no, it's not like I have the-

Jay Shetty 1:14:15 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:14:15 I don't have the, I don't have the thing.

Jay Shetty 1:14:17 Ooh.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:17 But I know that-

Jay Shetty 1:14:18 And what's Ranbir? He's-

Alia Bhatt 1:14:19 He's a Libran. A.

Jay Shetty 1:14:20 He's a Lib- Okay, okay, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:21 I just love finding similarities between, you know, s- uh, star signs and people and numbers. It'll just naturally happen that I get along really well with number sixes.

Jay Shetty 1:14:34 Mm-hmm.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:34 You know, my best friend Ayan is a number six. S- three, six, and nine. Um-

Jay Shetty 1:14:38 Explain how you get the six, for those who don't know.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:41 The birth date, or the birth, um, like, the day and the month and the year.

Jay Shetty 1:14:45 So if I'm born on the 6th-

Alia Bhatt 1:14:47 You are born on the 6th?

Jay Shetty 1:14:48 6th September.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:49 You're a number six.

Jay Shetty 1:14:50 I'm a Virgo, yeah. Does that make me a six?

Alia Bhatt 1:14:52 See, that's why we could ha-

Jay Shetty 1:14:53 Okay, yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:53 Look, that's what I'm saying.

Jay Shetty 1:14:55 Okay.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:55 That's why we could have a conversation.

Jay Shetty 1:14:56 Got it, got it, got it. Okay, yeah. So yeah, if I'm born on the 6th, I'm a six.

Alia Bhatt 1:14:59 Yes.

Jay Shetty 1:14:59 Yeah, okay. Got it.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:00 You're a number six.

Jay Shetty 1:15:01 Okay, got it.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:01 And then there's your, there's your moon sign and your star sign and your sun sign-

Jay Shetty 1:15:04 Right, yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:15:04 ... and then that's a little, it's a little complicated.

Jay Shetty 1:15:06 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:15:06 I'm, like, looking at Puneet right now because whatever.

Jay Shetty 1:15:08 [laughs] Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:09 Um, but I-

Jay Shetty 1:15:09 Yeah, I'm a Virgo.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:10 I-

Jay Shetty 1:15:10 6 September

Alia Bhatt 1:15:11 ... yeah, so a lot of my v- my best friends are Virgos.

Jay Shetty 1:15:14 Oh, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:14 All of them.

Jay Shetty 1:15:14 And, and all my best friends are Pisces.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:16 What are you saying?

Jay Shetty 1:15:16 My sister's Pisces. My best man from my wedding's a Pisces. Like, March is, like, all my best friends are basically born between 8th to 18th of March. Or-

Alia Bhatt 1:15:24 Oh, see this?

Jay Shetty 1:15:25 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:25 That that's why we're having this conversation-

Jay Shetty 1:15:27 Yeah, it's fascinating

Alia Bhatt 1:15:27 ... like, so easily.

Jay Shetty 1:15:28 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:28 And apparently, this year's very good for three, six, and nine.

Jay Shetty 1:15:31 That's what I heard, too.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:32 And Pisceans-

Jay Shetty 1:15:33 My dad's into this stuff

Alia Bhatt 1:15:34 ... and C- and Cancerians and whatever, and Virgos, and Virgos.

Jay Shetty 1:15:38 And Virgos, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:38 Sorry.

Jay Shetty 1:15:38 Thank you. Thank you for the-

Alia Bhatt 1:15:38 So we are now getting into a completely different conversation.

Jay Shetty 1:15:41 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:15:42 But I'm very into this, and I love finding similarities. Like I said, my brain loves information.

Jay Shetty 1:15:47 Mm.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:47 So I love putting these things together, and then there's an answer.

Jay Shetty 1:15:51 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:51 You know, it's ready for you. Oh, th- this all makes sense-

Jay Shetty 1:15:53 Yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:15:54 ... you know?

Jay Shetty 1:15:54 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:15:54 It's all, it's all laid out for you. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:15:56 I love it. When did this fascination start?

Alia Bhatt 1:15:59 I think when, when, when I started working with Puneet-

Jay Shetty 1:16:01 Yeah, yeah

Alia Bhatt 1:16:01 ... and she would talk a lot about it, so then I would listen, and then I would... Um, the minute I start seeing result in, in, in the similarities, I would be like, "Oh, wow, that's true," you know?

Jay Shetty 1:16:12 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:16:12 "They're, they're here. There's an example." Like, Mr. Bhansali, Sanjay Leela Bhansali-

Jay Shetty 1:16:15 Yes

Alia Bhatt 1:16:15 ... he's a number six as well.

Jay Shetty 1:16:16 Oh, wow.

Alia Bhatt 1:16:17 And he's a Piscean.

Jay Shetty 1:16:18 Yeah, right.

Alia Bhatt 1:16:19 And we, we got along like a house on fire.

Jay Shetty 1:16:22 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:16:22 So... And even, like, my best friends, you know, they're all either threes or nines. Or s- I very rarely get along with a four.

Jay Shetty 1:16:32 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:16:33 [laughs] No offense to a four.

Jay Shetty 1:16:35 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:16:36 But I very rarely get along with a four.

Jay Shetty 1:16:38 Yeah. I, I found it shocking when I realized, because obviously I've moved as well, so, like, all my best friends, whether I was living in New York, London, or LA, are all born in March. Like, it was fascinating to me. It was like, it just happened that way.

Alia Bhatt 1:16:51 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:16:51 And then you're like, "Wait, how does that work?" And so-

Alia Bhatt 1:16:54 So my sis-

Jay Shetty 1:16:54 ... I don't know as much about it, but-

Alia Bhatt 1:16:55 So my sister Pooja, she's also a number six, born on the 24th of, uh, February.

Jay Shetty 1:16:59 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:17:00 Uh, also a Piscean. She sent me this book, and the March, the month that I was bor- and it's so weird. Again, it's all in the s- in the science, right? Because I keep saying I'm a dreamer, I'm a dreamer, I'm a dreamer. So she sent me this book of each week has, like, a certain theme to it, you know? Somebody's the, the perfectionist, the, the, the balance and the something. Mine was the dancers and dreamers.

Jay Shetty 1:17:23 Oh, wow.

Alia Bhatt 1:17:25 And I was like, "This is so strange," because this is not something that I've read anywhere. I've just said it. You know?

Jay Shetty 1:17:32 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:17:32 Maybe it was on a, on a T-shirt or something-

Jay Shetty 1:17:35 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:17:35 ... I see or saw it and I liked it. I don't know, but it resonated with me.

Jay Shetty 1:17:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:17:41 So-

Jay Shetty 1:17:41 What-

Alia Bhatt 1:17:41 ... I like finding these similarities

Jay Shetty 1:17:42 ... what are these other hidden passions-

Alia Bhatt 1:17:44 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:17:45 ... weird little quirks or things that you find fascinating?

Alia Bhatt 1:17:47 I love planning.

Jay Shetty 1:17:48 Okay.

Alia Bhatt 1:17:49 You know? I have this-

Jay Shetty 1:17:49 Like, vacations or work?

Alia Bhatt 1:17:51 Both.

Jay Shetty 1:17:51 Both. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:17:52 [laughs] I just love-

Jay Shetty 1:17:53 That's another solo trip.

Alia Bhatt 1:17:54 I love planning. It deeply fascinates me and, like, satisfies me, and is, like, a hidden desire for me to be a wedding planner.

Jay Shetty 1:18:03 Yeah? Oh, w- have you ever planned a we- did you plan your own?

Alia Bhatt 1:18:05 I did plan my own.

Jay Shetty 1:18:06 Yeah, yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:06 Yeah, of course.

Jay Shetty 1:18:07 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:07 And I think I did it really well.

Jay Shetty 1:18:08 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:18:08 Um-

Jay Shetty 1:18:09 What did you do really well? What, what, what did you nail?

Alia Bhatt 1:18:11 I think the most important thing in a wedding is food.

Jay Shetty 1:18:14 I agree, and my wife would agree, too. Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:16 Yeah, so I nailed the food. I didn't nail it.

Jay Shetty 1:18:18 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:18 My chef nailed it.

Jay Shetty 1:18:19 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:18:20 Um, as in, the, the catering, uh, service that we, we hired. Um, people want food, and they want a great vibe.

Jay Shetty 1:18:28 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:28 And, um, yeah, I think it starts with food.

Jay Shetty 1:18:32 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:32 Genuinely.

Jay Shetty 1:18:33 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:34 So, but just also, like, colors and combination and, like, you know, like, different themes and different... So I really have a, you know, desire.

Jay Shetty 1:18:41 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:41 Like, so you see me getting all excited talking about it-

Jay Shetty 1:18:43 [laughs] I know, I know, because you definitely do

Alia Bhatt 1:18:43 ... to be a wedding planner. So I'm telling my sister, whenever she gets married, I'm planning her wedding and she's not hiring a wedding planner.

Jay Shetty 1:18:49 I love that. I love that. And yeah, planning your four-day trip will be fun, too.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:53 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:18:54 Yeah.

Alia Bhatt 1:18:54 That'll be... But actually, I might not. I might take a break from planning on that-

Jay Shetty 1:18:57 Okay

Alia Bhatt 1:18:58 ... specific trip. But I think because it comes from my need to micromanage when there are multiple people, 'cause right now for, for our new year vacation, we were, like, 20 people, you know, in Phuket, and I planned it from start to finish. And then when people are commending my planning, and they're like, you know, "You did such a lovely job," and all that, I'm like, "Thank you, thank you, thank you very much."

Jay Shetty 1:19:17 [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:19:18 It's the biggest compliment that I can receive.

Jay Shetty 1:19:19 I love it. I love it. Uh, fifth and final question, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

Alia Bhatt 1:19:28 I think to just be kind.

Jay Shetty 1:19:32 I love it. Alia Bhatt, thank you so much.

Alia Bhatt 1:19:33 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:19:34 I'm so grateful.

Alia Bhatt 1:19:35 Thank you so much.

Jay Shetty 1:19:35 Thank you for your generous time. I was looking forward to doing this for a long time. I'm glad we did it.

Alia Bhatt 1:19:40 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:19:40 I look forward to connecting with you again in LA and-

Alia Bhatt 1:19:42 In your house.

Jay Shetty 1:19:43 Yeah, in-

Alia Bhatt 1:19:43 With food

Jay Shetty 1:19:44 ... with food.

Alia Bhatt 1:19:44 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:19:45 Yes, my wife, that's what she does, so-

Alia Bhatt 1:19:47 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:19:47 ... there's never any lack of food in our home. Um-

Alia Bhatt 1:19:49 I remember most, most moments in life over food

Jay Shetty 1:19:52 ... through food.

Alia Bhatt 1:19:52 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:19:53 Right. We should eat and do this next time. [laughs]

Alia Bhatt 1:19:55 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:19:56 But, uh, no, look forward to welcoming you and Raha and Ranbir over. And, uh, thank you so much for your time and energy.

Alia Bhatt 1:20:00 Thank you. Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:20:01 It's so grateful. If you loved this episode, I need you to listen to one of my favorite conversations ever. It's with the one and only Tom Holland on how to overcome your social anxiety, especially in situations where you're not drinking and everyone else is. We talk about his sobriety journey and so much more. He gets really personal. I can't wait for you to hear it. It's gonna blow your mind. The quote is, "If you have a problem with me, text me, and if you don't have my number, you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me"