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Jay Shetty Podcast

Becky G ON Coming To Terms With Her Identity and Radical Authenticity

Today, we welcome multi-platinum singer Becky G to the podcast. In this episode, we explore the multifaceted aspects of life with a special focus on personal growth, cultural identity, family, and self-discovery.

Becky GguestJay ShettyhostBecky Gcameo

Sep 18, 20231h 26mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Defining a “200%” identity: belonging to both cultures without splitting yourself
Becky G explains why the common “50/50” framing of identity never felt right for her as a Mexican-American. She describes reclaiming a sense of belonging by embracing being fully from both places, using the image of living at the “corner” where cultures meet.
- •Rejecting the idea that acceptance requires giving up part of oneself
- •Experiences of being labeled “American” in Mexico and “Mexican” in the U.S.
- •Reframing “not from here or there” into “from here and from there”
- •The “corner” as an empowering metaphor for intersectionality
- •Seeing life beyond black-and-white thinking—making room for complexity
Permission to be yourself: leaving the “uncomfortable position” and choosing authenticity
Jay asks how Becky gave herself permission to belong in both worlds. Becky describes reaching a limit with discomfort and deciding to lean into what made her happy—even when others tried to place her in boxes.
- •The ‘sleeping on a plane’ analogy for living in discomfort
- •Wanting to be herself rather than compared to unrelated archetypes
- •Recognizing she could ‘check boxes’ to please others but choosing not to
- •Singing Spanish music as a turning point toward authenticity
- •Accepting fear as part of moving toward what’s right
Taking the leap into Spanish music—and confronting rejection and machismo
Becky unpacks the fear of whether she’d be accepted singing in Spanish after starting in English. She references the exhausting pressure described in a Selena Quintanilla film and shares obstacles she faced in the Latin music industry, including discouraging messages about women’s viability.
- •Fear of acceptance when shifting languages and markets
- •Reference to Selena Quintanilla’s story about being ‘more’ of everything
- •Feeling exhausted by cultural expectations and performance pressure
- •Facing machismo and industry claims about women’s ticket/radio potential
- •Motivation to help create space for other women—“brick by brick”
Legacy, grief, and gratitude: family roots and the grandfather who shaped her drive
The conversation turns to family legacy and the emotional weight and honor of carrying previous generations’ dreams. Becky reflects on her grandfather Miguel Gomez, how his example influenced her work ethic, and how she feels his presence after his passing.
- •Carrying generational dreams and sacrifices can feel heavy and honorable at once
- •Her grandfather’s influence and the meaning of honoring him
- •Seeing grandparents’ resilience as proof she can ‘make something out of nothing’
- •Early responsibility and the idea of working young to help family
- •Living with gratitude and striving for a life “of substance”
Growing up in public: boundaries, safety, and accepting you’re not for everyone
Becky describes how the public eye felt exciting as a kid but became harder with criticism and exposure. She explains the ongoing process of protecting her energy, limiting social media, and prioritizing real-world, quality connection over constant visibility.
- •Not seeing the downsides as a child—then feeling the weight of exposure
- •Teen years: public criticism about appearance and self-image
- •Pressure to perform because family depended on her success
- •Learning the goal isn’t to be liked by everyone
- •Building boundaries: less social media and more “sacred” energy
Identity shifts and the messy process of changing: from reactive habits to healthier filters
Jay and Becky discuss how transitions can feel like ‘identity deaths.’ Becky emphasizes that her shifts aren’t smooth, and she’s learning to pause, process, and stop seeking validation through public displays of pain.
- •Change is rough and new when you’ve lived most of life a certain way
- •Learning to process instead of defaulting to second-nature reactions
- •Reflecting on posting vulnerability online and questioning why she sought being seen
- •Choosing different coping strategies rather than “promoting” pain
- •Committing to daily routines to become a healthier version of herself
Mind–body–soul routines: phone boundaries, detoxes, meditation, prayer, and the gym
Becky shares concrete practices she’s building across mental, spiritual, and physical health. She outlines a “three-legged table” model and describes specific habits that help her regulate, reconnect, and feel strong.
- •The “three-legged table”: mind, body, soul must all be supported
- •Mental: not using her phone immediately after waking; separate alarm clock
- •Monthly social media detox by deleting apps for at least seven days
- •Spiritual: guided meditation (sometimes twice daily), prayer, and breathwork
- •Physical: prioritizing strength through gym, sleep, and diet—plus balance and enjoyment
What a “quality connection” feels like—and listening to your body’s signals
Becky defines quality connection as feeling safe enough to be authentically herself and being able to sense alignment in her body. She shares how real connection can happen even with strangers and contrasts authentic support with the modern obsession over numbers and followers.
- •Quality connection equals safety to be fully authentic
- •Learning she used to ignore bodily signals due to fear and people-pleasing
- •The ease and flow of conversation as a sign of alignment
- •Meaningful connection can occur in brief everyday interactions
- •Critique of prioritizing followers/metrics over what feels real
Panic attacks, anxiety, and learning “just because you can doesn’t mean you should”
Becky reflects on moments she ignored her inner compass in career decisions and became reactive rather than proactive. She describes anxiety and panic attacks as her body’s warning system, and how pushing through to avoid disappointing others came at a cost.
- •Letting others make decisions, then regretting staying silent
- •Living reactively in pivotal moments instead of setting herself up proactively
- •Realizing panic attacks were her body saying something was wrong
- •High-stress pressure before going on stage, including tears and difficulty breathing
- •Key lesson: capability isn’t a reason to overextend—boundaries matter
Therapy work: inventory, family roles, parentification, and “parts work”
Becky explains how therapy shifted from addressing immediate crises to exploring deeper roots. She describes developing self-empathy, examining family dynamics through inventory and family therapy, and using parts work to understand different sides of herself.
- •Early therapy focused on managing ‘small fires’ in real time
- •Surrendering to deeper exploration: how she exists within stress and relationships
- •Building empathy for herself amid ‘babies raising babies’ realities
- •Taking inventory of relationships and revisiting memories from multiple perspectives
- •Family therapy and shifting from being ‘parentified’ to being a sister; exploring parts work (child part, boss part, etc.)
Feeling emotions instead of intellectualizing: crying, release, and daily self-check-ins
Becky notes she’s good at explaining feelings but had to learn to actually feel them somatically. She discusses crying as release, making time to check in with herself, and recognizing her “window of tolerance” changes day to day.
- •Recognizing a tendency to intellectualize rather than feel
- •The idea that the body ‘keeps score’ of unprocessed experiences
- •Crying as a sacred release; she cried the morning of the interview
- •Separating core emotions and tracking what anxiety may be signaling
- •Daily ‘vibe check’ and communicating when her capacity is small or large
Beyond good vs. bad: learning, meaning-making, and redefining success
They discuss moving away from rigid labels and adopting a ‘we’ll see’ perspective using a story about a father and son. Becky explains how this mindset helps her reinterpret failure and success, and emphasizes that events can be understood as happening “for” you rather than “to” you.
- •Rejecting black-and-white ‘good/bad’ framing in favor of learning
- •The ‘good thing, bad thing, who knows’ story and its message
- •Adopting “everything happens for me, not to me” as a guiding belief
- •Redefining success beyond charts/streams toward personal meaning
- •Leaving room for growth and grace, especially for younger generations
Healing after heartbreak: privacy, filters, and choosing who gets access to your life
Jay asks about healing in romantic relationships and why they can be especially revealing. Becky emphasizes self-accountability, discerning what’s real, and being selective about who she shares her pain and peaks with—describing boundaries through a powerful ‘building a house’ metaphor.
- •Romantic relationships as a chosen space that reveals the self
- •Healing through self-reflection and accountability in relationship dynamics
- •Being selective about who has access to her pain, peaks, and process
- •Not explaining everything publicly—protecting sacred experiences from misinterpretation
- •The ‘new house’ metaphor: boundaries, locks, windows, and choosing who enters
Faith, guardian angels, and the lost art of listening
Becky describes a faith journey shaped by a religious upbringing but guided toward a more personal spirituality. She shares how she experiences protection and signs—especially through music and dragonflies—then connects prayer and meditation to the practice of listening.
- •Gratitude for being able to find faith rather than having it forced
- •Seeing spirituality as a mutual connection with a greater source
- •Everyday moments of feeling guided—songs that feel like her grandfather’s presence
- •Dragonflies as meaningful signs that bring reassurance
- •Prayer as speaking and meditation as listening; the importance of intentional presence
Final Five: advice, unlearning people-pleasing, valuing peace, and therapy access
In the closing rapid-fire questions, Becky shares the best and worst advice she’s received and what she’s working to unlearn. She also names what she values less now and proposes a world where everyone has access to therapy.
- •Best advice: you miss the shots you don’t take
- •Worst advice: being told to ‘really think about it’—risk of overthinking vs trusting her gut
- •Currently unlearning people-pleasing and noticing how automatic it is
- •No longer valuing ‘optics’ of the limelight as much as personal peace
- •If she could create one law: therapy access for everyone

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