Becky G ON Coming To Terms With Her Identity and Radical Authenticity

Becky G 0:00 I'm very proud of myself for having made it through those moments. I didn't know that that was, like, my body physically telling me something's wrong. She's a singer, actress, activist.

Jay Shetty 0:10 Global superstar. Please welcome Becky G.

Becky G 0:13 [sings] When you start in a career as young as I did, it's very much so, like, put your head down, get it done, get it done, get it done, get it done. And then you, like, blink and then you're like, "Oh, snap, I'm 26."

Jay Shetty 0:29 Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments, and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

Becky G 0:52 The bestselling author and host-

Jay Shetty 0:53 The number one health and wellness podcast- On Purpose with Jay Shetty.

Jay Shetty 0:59 Everything we all do is wanting to feel connected, right?

Becky G 1:01 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:02 Whether we're crying or whether we're laughing or whether we're reaching out for help or we're reaching out to help, like, all of it almost seems to be a cry for connection. We're all wanting to feel that, and you've talked a lot about this concept of the 200%-

Becky G 1:16 Yes

Jay Shetty 1:16 ... which is what this new album's based on, Your Roots, and I love that idea. Can you explain it? Because it's the first time I'd heard about it in that way, and I really, really appreciate it.

Becky G 1:26 Yeah, of course. Well, I, I... Okay, so I'm Mexican-American. I was born and raised here in LA. And it's interesting to me how I always, like, it was always like the 50/50. You know, you're half this, half that. And I didn't like that. There was something about that that never sat well with me, and I think it's because it made me feel like in order to be accepted here, I have to give up a part of myself, and in order to be accepted there, I have to give up a part of myself. And in reality, it's like, I am who I am. I shouldn't have to give up any of who it is that is my true authentic being to be accepted somewhere, to fit into this, this space, this shape, right? That doesn't feel organic to me. That doesn't feel natural to me. And, and it was in little, like, micro, like, experiences. Like, even hanging around my cousins who were from Mexico and them telling me I was, I was American. And I'm like, "Well, I guess technically, yeah. But, like, I, I don't know. When I'm in America, they tell me that I'm Mexican, so which one am I?" And there's this, uh, this saying in Spanish, you know, ni de aqui ni de alla. You're not from here, you're not from there. And it, and then I would res- respond to that. Entonces donde me quedo? Like, well, in that case, where do I stay? Like, where do I belong, you know? And so it's kind of like rewriting that to say, like, no, si soy. Like, I am. I am from here and from there. Si soy de aqui y de alla, you know? And it's kind of what inspired, um, the, the album Esquinas, because I am not this side or that side of the streets that raised me. I am the corner-

Jay Shetty 2:56 Mm

Becky G 2:56 ... of two flags, two cultures-

Jay Shetty 2:58 Mm-hmm

Becky G 2:58 ... two languages. And I know I'm not the only one, you know? Not just within the Latin community even, but I'd say, you know, I have so many friends who... I mean, I don't know about... Do you feel like you have a 200% experience sometimes?

Jay Shetty 3:11 Yeah. Well, I love the... That's why I love the way you put it, and even just now the way you explained that is so beautiful and elegant. Like, I- it really resonates with me. I love that idea about not having to be half of this and half of that. I actually experience it even more in the roles I've played in the world, and so I often say to people that I'm as much the monk mindset as I am the manager in my work, as I am the media person, as I am now a married person. Like, all of that is me. I'm not one or the other because I often get that where it's like, "Well, Jay, you used to be a monk and now you have companies and you're married and you're this and that." And I'm like, yeah, but the two things can coexist for me as an identity because there's so much from that that I love and relate to, and then there's so much from this that I, I love and relate to. And again, with being born in London, but my parents are from, originally from India, but then my mother's from Yemen, and so there's so many cross-sections in my background, and then I'm someone who was born and raised in London but now lives in LA, and so there's that intersection. And I love the idea of how we can all be so much more than what our passport says or than what our job title says or than what our bank balance says or whatever it may be.

Becky G 4:28 Yes.

Jay Shetty 4:28 Like, we're all so much more, so I think by you saying that, and I love the idea of the street corner.

Becky G 4:34 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 4:34 That's, that's really cool. Like, because that's... And all the cool stuff happens on the corner, not on either side of the street anyway.

Becky G 4:40 I mean, totally.

Jay Shetty 4:41 Yeah.

Becky G 4:41 And if you're from LA, you know that's where all the best fruit stands are and the best taco stands.

Jay Shetty 4:46 Yeah.

Becky G 4:47 So, um, but, but I, I... Yeah, it's the intersectionality.

Jay Shetty 4:51 Mm.

Becky G 4:51 That's what it is, exactly what it is. It's, like, where all of these things meet, all the spaces in between, you know? And, and I think that's, there's so much beauty in it, but I think unfortunately there's, you know, systems that, that make us think that they're wrong. But in reality, it's just an old programming that doesn't necessarily work anymore.

Jay Shetty 5:12 Yeah.

Becky G 5:12 And that's okay too, you know? And I love what you said about letting, you know, all the truths exist, 'cause that's something that I think growing up I felt society tells you you had to think very black and white. And I'm like, life is in color for a reason. You know? Like, we, we should be seeing life in color. There's so much going on around us, and I like to think that, you know, this vessel I'm very thankful for. I'm very thankful for the vessel that allows me to experience this life, but my spirit is so much bigger.

Jay Shetty 5:42 Mm.

Becky G 5:42 My soul needs to expand, you know? And the same way we can experience such beauty, we can experience pain and, and there's all these, like, opposites of everything, and then the, it's the spaces in between that kind of just tie it all together.

Jay Shetty 5:55 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 5:55 You know? I, I love that there's

Becky G 5:57 purpose in that.

Jay Shetty 5:58 How did you go about that journey of giving yourself permission to belong in both?

Becky G 6:03 Um, it just, it felt like I could only ... stay in that, like, uncomfortable position for so long. You know when you're sleeping on a plane-

Jay Shetty 6:11 Yes

Becky G 6:12 ... and you're so tired, like you will fall asleep anyway, but then there's like that half hour that goes by where you wake up and you're like, "My leg is dead, and I can't feel my neck, and it hurts, and this is not, like this isn't good quality sleep. Like, I can't wait until I get into my bed."

Jay Shetty 6:26 Yep.

Becky G 6:27 And I felt like I would feel that way sometimes.

Jay Shetty 6:29 Yeah.

Becky G 6:29 Like, I, I could stay here for just a little bit, you know? But it didn't feel very long-lasting. And I think that there just comes a time where if you allow yourself to, and like you said, give yourself permission to even just explore what could be on the other side, to explore that maybe I don't wanna sleep on the plane, maybe I do wanna sleep in my bed, and I can't right now and that's okay, but I can't wait for the day-

Jay Shetty 6:51 Yeah

Becky G 6:52 ... you know, or the time that comes, um, and look forward to it. And so I would always look forward to, like, the day that, like, I wouldn't be compared to, like, another artist that, like, literally looked nothing like me, spoke nothing like me, and I'd be like, "I don't wanna be them. I wanna be Becky," you know?

Jay Shetty 7:07 Yeah. Yeah.

Becky G 7:07 Like, and, and I was so young already feeling that way growing up in this industry. And, um, and it, it was those boxes, man. It was those boxes that just like I, I knew I could check them.

Jay Shetty 7:18 Mm.

Becky G 7:18 I knew I could check those boxes and, and make other people happy. But there came a point, I think, when I decided honestly to pursue singing Spanish music was that turning point for me.

Jay Shetty 7:29 Yeah.

Becky G 7:29 And it was, it was because I was gonna be facing my biggest fear, which was, okay, well, I, I am American and I've started a professional career singing music in English, but I've always repped my Latinidad. But now me singing in Spanish, I don't know if I'll be accepted there.

Jay Shetty 7:48 Mm.

Becky G 7:48 And that was, like, really scary because the only real point of reference I had was the queen, Selena Quintanilla, who, you know, unfortunately is no longer with us. And so I just remember being like, there's a, a scene in the movie where her dad says, "You have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans. It's exhausting."

Jay Shetty 8:09 [laughs]

Becky G 8:10 And, and he says it like that too, "It's exhausting."

Jay Shetty 8:12 Yeah.

Becky G 8:13 And I'm like, yeah, your girl's tired, man.

Jay Shetty 8:15 [laughs]

Becky G 8:15 I'm tired. Like, I just wanna be, I just wanna be who I am, and the truth is, is like I think when you lean into the authenticity of just knowing, like, I gotta make myself happy, and this, this really does make me happy. There's gotta be something on the other side of that. And little did I know I was gonna be confronted with so many other, you know, obstacles in Latin culture that totally didn't want me to succeed. You know, the machismo that exists, the amount of times, you know, the labels will say, you know, "Girls don't sell tickets. They don't get played on the radio," all kinds of stuff. And, and I like to think, you know, we're here, we're doing it.

Jay Shetty 8:55 Yeah.

Becky G 8:55 So w- we must be doing something right, you know?

Jay Shetty 8:58 [laughs] Doing a lot right, I think.

Becky G 8:59 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 8:59 Doing a lot right. Tell me about that, that fear that you had in terms of, like, I've started my career sp- singing in English, now I'm moving over, will I be accepted?

Becky G 9:09 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 9:10 And that fear's

Jay Shetty 9:12 really displacing too, again, when you're like, "I'm from here and I'm from there as well." What was it inside of you that pushed you to say, "I'm gonna do this anyway"? Like, what was it that gave you the courage and strength? Because I can imagine there's so many people who are listening and watching right now who are thinking, "I don't wanna do that because I don't wanna be seen that way," or, "I don't wanna do that because someone's gonna put me in a box," or, "Someone's gonna push me back." Like, we all have these doubts in our own ways. What was it that helped you overcome that doubt?

Becky G 9:40 I think remembering what someone like Selena did for me and understanding that, like, s- like somebody's gotta do it. Like, and, and not like, so I ha- now I have to. It, it really came from a place of truly desiring and wanting to, to do that for myself because I know I deserved that space. And the same way I believe I deserve that space, I believe there's so many other talented young women that deserve that space. And so, you know, brick by brick, and if I only bring one brick to this, to this bridge, that's fine, so be it, but we, we need it. There is a, there's a need for this.

Jay Shetty 10:18 Mm.

Becky G 10:18 And, and I want to be a part of that. And I think that was really inspiring for me, to be able to, like, take agency in that way and know that there was a lot of, like, naysayers that were, like, not believing, but then also knowing, like the same way I was in that nurturing household where I was allowed to be different, like, we're gonna keep building spaces like that. Like, we need that in the systems that are, you know, continuing because they're not sustainable. Some- somebody's gotta shake it up.

Jay Shetty 10:45 Mm. Mm.

Becky G 10:45 And so, uh, and I, I remember being a part of, like, specifically the Latin industry at that time, and I think it was my intersectionality that, that made it kind of less intimidating for me.

Jay Shetty 10:56 Mm.

Becky G 10:57 Because I was like, "I know what it's like to not be accepted here." Like, 'cause it happened on the other side, so there's nothing you can tell me here that I haven't already heard.

Jay Shetty 11:05 Yeah.

Becky G 11:06 You know?

Jay Shetty 11:07 It's fascinating, isn't it, that when you're young you're forced to fit in, and then as you get older, it's all about how do you stand out?

Becky G 11:14 Yep.

Jay Shetty 11:15 And it doesn't make any sense because it's so counterintuitive. Your whole life you've been told, "Stand in line. Do as they do. Do as I say," and everyone's told to conform. And as you get older, it's like, well, how do you brand yourself? How do you market yourself? What's unique about you? But you've been told to hide all of your-

Becky G 11:32 All of it [laughs]

Jay Shetty 11:33 ... uniqueness, right?

Becky G 11:34 All of it.

Jay Shetty 11:34 You've been told to hide-

Becky G 11:35 Yeah

Jay Shetty 11:35 ... all of it. So it's almost like we're trying to figure out what that uniqueness is. I love your idea about, or the vision that you just painted for all of us of, like, how we're all just laying another brick on the bridge.

Becky G 11:47 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 11:48 That's, that's such a beautiful way to think about it. And I wonder

Jay Shetty 11:51 how instrumental your grandfather was in, in this whole journey for you.

Becky G 11:55 Yes.

Jay Shetty 11:55 I know that this album is inspired, dedicated-

Becky G 11:58 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 11:58 ... to, and you sadly lost him-

Becky G 12:01 Mm

Jay Shetty 12:01 ... a few years ago. But tell us a bit about why family's been so important to you, but particularly him, and I can see you taking it in-

Becky G 12:08 Yeah

Jay Shetty 12:08 ... for those who are not watching.

Becky G 12:09 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:10 You can-

Becky G 12:11 Big deep breath

Jay Shetty 12:11 ... yeah, big deep breath from Becky.

Becky G 12:13 Yeah, no, I think it's because- I mean, to understand that we come from something so much bigger than us is so powerful, sometimes overwhelming, I think, for a lot of us mixed ethnicity kids because, you know, we're, we're not just walking into a room with our dreams. We're walking into a room with our dreams and then the dreams of the generations before, not just into a room with our own sacrifices, but the sacrifices of those before. All of the stuff that, you know, can feel very heavy sometimes, but then those two truths can exist at the same time that I really hear so strongly in, in the back of my subconscious, which is that it can be really heavy, but such an honor.

Jay Shetty 12:55 Mm.

Becky G 12:56 And there's a power in that, to come from people who have had to make something out of nothing, and if they did, you can too.

Jay Shetty 13:04 Mm.

Becky G 13:04 My grandfather, Miguel Gomez, ""que descanse en paz"" he is one of the greatest men I think I've ever gotten to know in this life, and I feel this way about all my grandparents. Like, to have had all four of my grandparents so present in my life and to be a part of the, the village that raised me, you know, is such an honor to me. And when he passed away, and him being, you know, my first grandparent that I, that I lose, just that, that thing that I hold onto is that although, again, his vessel may no- no longer be with me, that guidance, that, that honor that it is to carry that, that superpower with me is just, it's so incredibly motivating and so inspirational. And I think there's, there's a lot there that when I look back at it, you know, he was really a big part as to why I started pursuing this.

Jay Shetty 13:55 Mm.

Becky G 13:55 Because a lot of my grandparents, I mean, they didn't finish their educations. They all started working very, very young, and that was the social norm in Mexico. You know, in Mexico like that, that was part of, you know, part of what it was. You don't finish school. You work to help your family. Obviously, we live in America, and there's such a thing as child labor laws, so it wasn't the same thing for me. But the concept of being nine years old and working to provide for my family and going out in the streets and hustling, like, it didn't feel like a absolute no to me. It felt like, "Well, if they did it, I can do it too."

Jay Shetty 14:26 [laughs] Yeah.

Becky G 14:27 You know? And to see everything that my grandparents have built... I mean, my grandmother talks about all the day, she says, "Ay, gracias a Dios por mi pueblito," like her little village. She's so thankful to God for her little village that she created, you know, with my grandpa, and it's just like, yeah, like y'all really did that. And, and we're all just this ever-growing tree of branches and of those roots, you know? And so, um, so yeah, he's, he's with me every day. I feel it.

Jay Shetty 14:52 Mm. That's beautiful.

Becky G 14:53 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 14:53 Yeah, and you can kinda see that energy coming through you right now-

Becky G 14:55 Thank you

Jay Shetty 14:56 ... as well. It's like it's evident that he has a place in your heart that's really deep and special, and it must, it must be so powerful to be able to use that to give back and to connect with people. So, yeah.

Becky G 15:09 Definitely, yeah. And I think it's like, it's their humanness, you know? It's seeing their old age, like even seeing like they once could, and now they can't physically, but we can.

Jay Shetty 15:21 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 15:22 You know? So like how do we carry that on? It's just, it's, it's so beautiful and so empowering and so, um, just knowing that even when we're no longer here, like, things stay.

Jay Shetty 15:31 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 15:32 Like, there's an energy there that stays.

Jay Shetty 15:34 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 15:34 There's something so meaningful and so purposeful to our every word and interaction shared. It's just like you want to live a life that is of substance.

Jay Shetty 15:47 Yes, yes.

Becky G 15:47 You know? Like, I don't wanna just lollygag and just, you know... I mean, maybe every now and then, don't get me wrong.

Jay Shetty 15:52 [laughs]

Becky G 15:52 But, um, but no, I, I mean it in the way of just like even in the simplest of things, just like living in gratitude.

Jay Shetty 15:58 Becky, you grew up in the public eye, and, you know, you've grown up in the public eye, too, and it's the idea of like-

Becky G 16:05 Growing up. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:06 Growing up. Yeah, growing up.

Becky G 16:08 Growing up. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:08 Yeah, growing up in the public eye. What would you say have been the pros of that? Like, what really great lessons have you kinda taken on? And what have been some of the challenges that you're still trying to figure out, that you still feel you struggle with sometimes?

Becky G 16:23 Yeah, I think it's interesting. I don't think I saw many of the cons to it as a kid because I was just like, "Wow," like, "This is so cool, a space to just be and be yourself." And then you don't really realize how you're exposing yourself, like, beyond what the n- the average person, like, usually gets exposed to, and it's not just, like, the support. It's also the opposite of what support is, right? People having a, a thought and a say or an intention that isn't always positive a- against everything that you do. And it wasn't until you, you were like a teenager and you're getting made fun of for the way you dress or what your teeth look like or having acne or whatever, and you're like, "Wow, you're really wearing these things." Like, you're really wearing it. And then, you know, on top of that, you're dealing with... I mean, for me, I was dealing with, you know, the pressures to provide for my family. So, like, I'm really showing up as my best self because there's too much riding on the line. It's not just me. It's everybody who's walking in the room with me. So when you are kind of put in this place where you are... you feel almost attacked sometimes or, you know, you feel let down. You don't feel as supported as you thought you would. You start to question, like, "Oh, is this a safe space? Is this, is this what it's supposed... Is this what I signed up for?" 'Cause that's what everybody's telling me. "This is what you signed up for. This is what you signed up for." And it's like as I've, I've continued to grow up in this space, I think the biggest, like, lesson for me is just like maybe I'm not supposed to be liked by everybody. Maybe that's not the goal.

Jay Shetty 17:58 Mm.

Becky G 17:58 You know? Maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not supposed to be for everyone. Maybe I can be a little bit more sacred with my energy. You know? Maybe I don't have to be on social media 24/7. You know? Like, maybe I can remember that there's a real world out there with real people and quality connection matters, not the quantity of connections I make. And so I think that, like, for me, going from literal Baby Becky, [laughs] 14 years old, getting discovered on the internet to the 26-year-old that is still figuring out how to practice those boundaries every single day. Yeah, it's like the, the biggest takeaway for me

Jay Shetty 18:37 Yeah, and that realization that we're not for everyone is really difficult to swallow because I feel like our whole life we've been trained to kind of be people who make everyone around us happy. We've been trained to be that way, conditioned, like we make people smile, or you were the peacemaker in your family, or you were the change maker in your family, or you were the person who kind of, you know, communicated individually and mediated with your family. Like, we've all played roles, and most of those roles revolve around us being liked or doing things to be liked, and all of a sudden you grow up, and especially if you have a large public platform, and even if you don't have a large public platform, just growing up-

Becky G 19:23 Yes

Jay Shetty 19:23 ... you go to work and you have family.

Becky G 19:25 [laughs] It's crazy you say that 'cause I was literally gonna, gonna interject right there, uh, to say you do not have to be someone with a platform like ours-

Jay Shetty 19:33 Totally

Becky G 19:33 ... to know what this pressure is like today.

Jay Shetty 19:35 Agreed.

Becky G 19:36 And that actually makes me so fearful for the future generations because we are constantly comparing ourselves to everyone's greatest hits, and that is really, really hard to leave any room, any space for grace, for, for growth-

Jay Shetty 19:51 Mm-hmm

Becky G 19:51 ... you know, because there's this fear, this fear of messing up, saying the wrong thing or whatever, and it's just like that's actually part of learning.

Jay Shetty 19:58 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 19:58 We have to leave room to learn, and I think it's also learning that we can be something different.

Jay Shetty 20:04 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 20:04 I was thinking about this the other day, and I had a conversation with, uh, like, a really close friend of mine about how it's, it's wild to me that I've shared so much of my life on the internet since such a young age, and because I shared that, you know, my favorite flavor of ice cream seven years ago was chocolate, that someone can come across that today and be like, "Oh, she's a, she's a chocolate ice cream loving girly." And like, little do they know, like, I don't really like ice cream anymore.

Jay Shetty 20:32 [laughs]

Becky G 20:33 Like, I don't even have a favorite flavor. I actually prefer frozen yogurt, you know?

Jay Shetty 20:37 Yeah.

Becky G 20:37 And, and there's like seven years, but because someone can come across that, you know, today it can be like, "No, that's who she is," and unless it's documented, you can't tell me any different.

Jay Shetty 20:47 Yeah.

Becky G 20:48 You know? But it's like I think it's, it's leaving space that, like, I can change my mind. I mean, I could love ice cream tomorrow. Who knows? You know? And that's totally possible, but on a deeper level, it's interesting you were, you were saying something. There's a book that I read called The Family on Bradshaw, and it really blew my mind about the rigid roles that we play in, like, family systems. And we find so much purpose in that, but then we, we get so attached to what that role is to forget that, like, we have to go out into the world and, like, learn more.

Jay Shetty 21:18 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 21:18 You know? Like, it terrifies me sometimes when I think about that because I feel like I've lived so much life in my 26 years, and I'm like, "Wait, there's more? You're telling me there's more?"

Jay Shetty 21:28 Yeah.

Becky G 21:28 I should be inspired and excited at that idea, and a part of me is, but then there's another part of me that's absolutely terrified. You know? And I think it's, it's, again, leaving room for those two truths to exist.

Jay Shetty 21:39 Yeah.

Becky G 21:39 And usually when it's terrifying, I think it's because it's right for you. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:43 Yeah.

Becky G 21:43 You know what I mean? Like, it's supposed to be scary.

Jay Shetty 21:46 Yeah.

Becky G 21:46 Like, uh, just at least just a little bit to, like, ignite that thing in you that really, like, catches your soul on fire and says, "I was made for this."

Jay Shetty 21:55 Yeah.

Becky G 21:55 You know?

Jay Shetty 21:55 Yeah, yeah.

Becky G 21:56 And I'm so happy that I did it.

Jay Shetty 21:58 Yeah.

Becky G 21:58 You know?

Jay Shetty 21:59 Yeah. How hard was it for you? You just talked about there where you were like,

Jay Shetty 22:02 "Maybe I wanna be someone who experiences the real world. Maybe I do wanna switch off from social media." Like, as a public figure, and even in our friend circles, like, I remember when I quit drinking alcohol, and when I went back to my friend group that was used to me drinking alcohol and being a certain person at the party and now I don't, it was a complete switch. I wasn't, I didn't have a public platform. I wasn't known. But even in my group or my community, it was like, "Wait a minute, Jay, have you changed?" Right?

Becky G 22:30 Right.

Jay Shetty 22:30 Or when I stopped doing certain things or when I started doing certain things, we all go through these, like, identity deaths of who we were and who we wanted to be to who we are today, and when you're trying to make a transition, like not being as active on social media, or you're trying to make a transition of I don't go to those places anymore, whatever it may be, I feel we all go through this moment of identity shifts, and it sounds like you've had to do that too.

Becky G 22:56 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 22:56 What has helped you make those as smooth as they can be, or what has happened when you've made those shifts, and what have you dealt with?

Becky G 23:04 I'm laughing because, Jay, it's so not smooth. Like, it's rough out-

Jay Shetty 23:08 It's not, yeah.

Becky G 23:08 It's so rough out here. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 23:10 [laughs]

Becky G 23:10 It's very new for me. It is so new. I have lived more of my life this way than I have practicing, trying something new.

Jay Shetty 23:19 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 23:20 But it, it makes me very proud of myself to know that I can look at myself every day in the mirror and say, "I know it's gonna be really hard, and it's gonna be challenging, and there's gonna be things that trigger a response from you maybe that you are... that is second nature."

Jay Shetty 23:38 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 23:38 We are gonna take time to process. We're gonna add some filters in your process that are better for you-

Jay Shetty 23:44 Mm-hmm

Becky G 23:44 ... 'cause there's better ways to deal with things. There's better ways than having to just, like, promote your pain. You know? I, I... Somebody the other day, it was so funny, somebody the other day, um, mentioned to me, like, "What's up with all these young kids posting videos of themselves crying on the internet?" And I said, "First of all, that's really mean, because little do you know, maybe they're seeking for connection. And second of all, I've totally done that." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 24:08 [laughs]

Becky G 24:09 Damn it.

Jay Shetty 24:10 [laughs]

Becky G 24:10 Oh, I'm guilty. I'm so guilty of it. But are there times where I wish I didn't? Absolutely, because maybe not everybody needed to see that. I wanted to be seen so badly, but who am I seeking that from? Why am I seeking that from the world when maybe it's really within myself? And so that, that daily practice for me is still very new, but it's, it's doing things differently.

Jay Shetty 24:35 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 24:35 Willing to... Uh, what's that saying? Um, y- you, you won't... You gotta be willing to do something you've never done in order to get the result you've never had. Right? And so if I want to be the healthiest version of myself, I have to be willing to look at my daily routines, mentally routine, the mental routines that I have, the spiritual routines that I have, the physical routines that I have, and, and, and really just be honest with myself, and am I setting myself up for success?

Jay Shetty 25:04 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 25:05 You know? And there's been hard times. Like, people very close to me will be like, "B, we had this conversation."

Jay Shetty 25:09 [laughs]

Becky G 25:11 "We've had this conversation." And they very lovingly hold space for me to come back around and be like, "You're right."

Jay Shetty 25:16 Yeah.

Becky G 25:17 "You're so right."

Jay Shetty 25:18 [laughs]

Becky G 25:19 You know? But it's like just understanding that we are constantly always in process.

Jay Shetty 25:23 Yeah. Yeah. Well, tell- let's walk through

Jay Shetty 25:26 some of those, actually, because we love doing that on On Purpose. You mentioned mental, spiritual, and physical routines.

Becky G 25:32 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 25:32 Let's talk about some of the... Let's start with the mental routines. What are some daily routines, or habits, or practices that you've been working on?

Becky G 25:39 Okay, so shout out to my therapist, because she taught me the three-legged table.

Jay Shetty 25:42 Shout out to all the therapists. I love therapists. All right.

Becky G 25:45 Uh, me too.

Jay Shetty 25:45 [laughs] Three-

Becky G 25:46 They're dope. Um, they keep it real, that's for sure. But, uh, the three-legged table is the mind, body, soul, and if it's a table that needs to work, right, it needs to hold things on top of it, um, if one of the tables is a little wobbly or one of the tables, the legs break, it can't, it can't fulfill its purpose, right? What it, what it's intended for. And so I am very much so a mind, body, soul kind of person, and I think for me, if we're starting with the mind, just, like, not being on my phone the first moments that I wake up in the morning, um, I didn't realize, like, how second nature it was. Like, even just having, like, a separate alarm clock outside of my phone.

Jay Shetty 26:26 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 26:26 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 26:27 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 26:27 Very new for me. Actually just started practicing that. I do a social media detox once a month. So, like, there's... I'll literally delete the apps from my phone completely, and it's the best. I mean-

Jay Shetty 26:37 For how long?

Becky G 26:38 For how long? I do at least seven days.

Jay Shetty 26:40 Wow, every month?

Becky G 26:40 Consistently, yeah.

Jay Shetty 26:42 Wow, that's so cool.

Becky G 26:43 Yeah. Yeah, also very new, but it's working. Highly recommend.

Jay Shetty 26:47 [laughs]

Becky G 26:47 And I don't say these things to, like, knock anybody, 'cause there's some people I know that can, like, very much so be on these platforms, and, like, are so unfazed by it, and it's great for them, and I love that for them, but I know myself-

Jay Shetty 26:57 Yeah

Becky G 26:57 ... and I'm very, very sensitive. So kind of just, just practicing those things has been super helpful for me on the, on the mental side. And then I would say on the spiritual side, meditating has done so much for me. Like, meditation and prayer. I think just believing and having faith in something that is greater than you is, is always helpful. You know, I think it's really hard to trust something that you can't see-

Jay Shetty 27:18 Mm-hmm

Becky G 27:19 ... that you can't physically feel or touch, but there's s- also something very magical when you tap into that. And there's been moments where my day will be so crazy, and I, you know, it's just constantly trying to find time. How do we re- reset the mind? How do we reprogram? And I just think to myself, even after 10 minutes of meditation, there's another version of me on the other side of that that will be so much better-

Jay Shetty 27:41 Mm

Becky G 27:41 ... so much capable. What part of me can't give myself 10 minutes today?

Jay Shetty 27:45 Mm.

Becky G 27:46 So, like, that, that spiritual, like, tap-in and, like, recentering for me is special sauce.

Jay Shetty 27:53 And what type of meditation is that for you? What, what practice?

Becky G 27:56 Guided meditation still-

Jay Shetty 27:57 Mm-hmm

Becky G 27:57 ... for me-

Jay Shetty 27:58 Mm-hmm

Becky G 27:58 ... because we've got a lot of thoughts these days-

Jay Shetty 28:01 Yeah

Becky G 28:01 ... you know, and it's hard to silence them. But, uh, it's sometimes twice a day. You know, I, I try to do it twice a day, definitely in the morning or sometimes when I'm in the sauna, like post-workout, um, to kind of just really be in my body. And then, uh, and then at night. And I also do, uh, uh... Do you know Wim- Wim Hof?

Jay Shetty 28:18 Yeah, of course. I love Wim.

Becky G 28:18 Breathwork? Yeah.

Jay Shetty 28:19 Yeah.

Becky G 28:19 Love it.

Jay Shetty 28:20 We've had Wim on the show.

Becky G 28:21 Oh my God.

Jay Shetty 28:22 Yeah.

Becky G 28:22 Another person I would, like, absolutely geek out to meet. But honestly, that, that whole routine for me, even, like, before shows, just really relaxes the nervous system. On that breath hold, there's, like, a spiritual feeling that I have, and sometimes I'll play, like, frequency during-

Jay Shetty 28:40 Mm

Becky G 28:40 ... and it just, like... There's moments where I'm like, "Oh my God, I'm totally coming out of my body right now, and this is so nice."

Jay Shetty 28:45 Wow.

Becky G 28:46 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 28:46 And what about prayer? You mentioned prayer there.

Becky G 28:48 Yes. Yeah, prayer is super important. It's funny, I grew up in a very religious household. I'm very Mexican in that sense. My grandmothers are very Catholic, and I'm much more spiritual than religious, I'd say, but I think seeing them in their dedication, seeing them in their practice was, like, very inspiring to me when I was younger, and also the communal aspect of it, too. Like, getting to pray with my grandmothers growing up is something very sacred to me. And I just think that, yeah, when I pray and I surrender, like, let go and let God is, like... I literally have it tattooed because it's, it's important to know that you can't control everything. You just can't. You can control what you do, how you react to what's going on around you, but you can't actually control everything that's happening around you, and I struggle with that on a daily basis.

Jay Shetty 29:39 Well said. Yeah.

Becky G 29:39 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 29:40 I think... No, those are beautiful routines. That's mental and spiritual. What about physical?

Becky G 29:45 There's not a version of me before this, this, I'd say, age, that would say, "I love being in the gym."

Jay Shetty 29:50 Yeah.

Becky G 29:50 "I love working out," um, so much to the point where I'm like, "Maybe I should prioritize sleep a little bit more than the gym." But, um, good sleep, good diet, gym. Like, feeling strong physically and knowing that I'm taking care of my body, again, like, the, the vessel needs to be safe, and it needs to be protected and provided for, and, and so I try my absolute best. Um, but even in that sense, it's like, you know, uh, not that my indulgent self takes over, but, like, enjoying the little things in life, like the balance, you know? Like, I love food.

Jay Shetty 30:25 [laughs]

Becky G 30:26 So the balance of that is like, "Go burn it off in the gym, girl, and you'll be just fine."

Jay Shetty 30:31 [laughs] I love that. No, and it's so beautiful that you're thinking about your life as those three legs to the table or the stool in your life-

Becky G 30:38 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 30:38 ... because it is so interesting to me about how as soon as you take your eye off of one of them- ... how much harder everything else becomes.

Becky G 30:48 Oh, yeah.

Jay Shetty 30:48 And yet when those three things are good, like you said, they can carry the weight.

Becky G 30:52 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 30:52 Even if it's getting really, really heavy-

Becky G 30:54 Yeah

Jay Shetty 30:54 ... you still have a s- fighting chance almost. And I guess the thing that I've found that has really helped me in that regard as well is making sure that I'm not trying to solve all three at the same time. It's almost like one at a time. Like, I remember I always had my spiritual practice, and then I added my mental practice, and then I added my physical practice, and for me, that order worked really well, whereas when you're trying to solve all three at the same time, then, too, it's almost like saying if you're putting a table together, using your analogy, you can't put all three legs on at the same time. It just doesn't work that way. You gotta put one in properly, then the other one, and then the other one. I wanna go back to something you said earlier.

Jay Shetty 31:37 You talked about the need for quality connections instead of quantity connections. What is Becky G's definition of a quality connection? How do you view-

Becky G 31:48 Oof

Jay Shetty 31:48 ... a quality connection?

Becky G 31:49 You know, I think it's, it's when I feel safe in a room to be my true authentic self.

Jay Shetty 31:54 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 31:55 And there's ways that my body used to tell me that, that, like, this isn't authentic. Like, there's something about this that doesn't feel right, and I would stay in the room because you're scared o- of how that might come off, or again, the people-pleasing tendencies totally start to come through, right? You're ... I'm a performer by nature at this point, 'cause I've been doing this for longer than, than I've ever not been doing it. But I think it was just really understanding, man, like, it feels really good when I can just show up and be me. And when I'm trying to be my authentic self, sometimes there's a little fumbling that happens, or just sometimes it flows. Like, right now, this feels like a quality connection. It's just flowing. I'm not really thinking about what could be said or what could be felt and how that might come off, and that feels to me, again, sign from the universe, and it really affirms that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And so when I have those feelings that feel very affirmed in a moment, that is quality connection, and it might be with a stranger. There's been times where, like, I mean, man, I'll be at the airport sometimes just killing time 'cause I'm totally like my grandparents. I don't wanna be late for a flight or something. And I'm just talking to, like, the person behind the bar and just like, "How's your day today?" And I walk away like, "Oh my God, Johnny was so sweet. I wanna go to his mom's [laughs] pizza shop."

Jay Shetty 33:12 [laughs]

Becky G 33:12 Like, next time I'm in this city, I'm coming, because there's, like, a true connection that's being made, and, and I think what we celebrate today is, like, followers, like how many followers you have, how many numbers you have streaming this, and it's like, that I, I think is, is, is amazing when you're thinking from a business aspect, but even then, truly, like, people want to support something that is real. I want to support something that is real, whether it be in my friendships, whether it be with my family, with my team, with my fans. And so, uh, yeah, I'd say that's what it is. It's like that authenticity. I could feel it.

Jay Shetty 33:46 Yeah, and-

Becky G 33:46 Yeah

Jay Shetty 33:46 ... and it's really interesting, right? You said that we almost all have a inner compass or an inner dial that tells us whether something feels authentic and aligned or it doesn't, but we tend to ignore it sometimes because of our people-pleasing tendencies or whatever it may have been.

Jay Shetty 34:08 When is a time in your life where you feel like you've ignored it and it's misled you, or it's led you away from feeling how you feel now, where you feel safe in yourself?

Becky G 34:18 Yeah, I definitely feel so reflective on, like, certain career moments-

Jay Shetty 34:22 Mm-hmm

Becky G 34:23 ... where it was very easy for me to let other people make decisions for me.

Jay Shetty 34:28 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 34:28 And then, and then when it wouldn't work, be like, "Oh, I shoulda said something," you know?

Jay Shetty 34:32 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 34:32 "Oh, why didn't I say... Oh, but there wasn't enough time. There just wasn't enough time." We just... And, and realizing, like, man, I spent some key pivotal moments in my career feeling like I was being far more reactive to what was happening than, like, proactive and setting myself up to, like, fully be present, you know? And I look back at it and I'm like, I'm very proud of myself for having made it through those moments, but, like, there was moments where, and, and this is, like, even deeper on, like, the, uh, the experiences I used to have with, like, anxiety and panic attacks, you know? I didn't know that that was, like, my body physically telling me something's wrong.

Jay Shetty 35:12 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 35:13 Like, you're not okay.

Jay Shetty 35:14 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 35:15 But because you're scared to let other people down, you're scared of what other people might say, you push through anyways. And I realize, like, just because you can doesn't mean you should, and I think that that's one of my most valuable lessons, for sure. 'Cause there was, I mean, many moments before going onto a stage, and I mean, we're talking full-blown tears, can't breathe. If you've had a panic attack, you know the world is ending, and there's also this, like, subconscious part of you that's like, "Girl, breathe. Just breathe. You know, you know what this is," you know? But your nervous system can't tell the difference between, like, the mental bear and the real bear that's in the room, and there's no bears in the room, so, like, chillax. It's okay, you know? Um, yeah, just being really young and in really high-stress situations, like, you know, you're everybody's boss, but technically everybody's older than you, and it's just such an interesting dynamic to have grown up in, and so I think that that has been the most valuable lesson for me up until this point, you know? Just, like, yeah, just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Jay Shetty 36:22 Yeah, that's good advice.

Becky G 36:23 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 36:24 Well said. When you were talking about people-pleasing there, and that naturally happens in environments where, like you said, even though you're the boss, everyone's older than you, it's, it's natural to want to please our elders in the same ways we try to please our parents and our family. And I know you've worked a lot on therapy, and that's an area of your life you've invested in deeply. How is therapy, or what work have you done in therapy that's helped you identify your people-pleasing tendencies and allowed you to start reframing and reshaping them? Because I think so many of us often work so hard at pleasing people that we end up Displeasing and disconnecting from ourselves, and we don't realize that in the attempt to make someone else happy, we're making ourselves more unhappy-

Becky G 37:13 Mi- yeah

Jay Shetty 37:13 ... and miserable.

Becky G 37:14 Or miserable. [laughs] Yes.

Jay Shetty 37:15 And, and the other person's not happy either because they can tell that it's not, it's not coming from an authentic, genuine place. It's just coming from a place of like, "I don't wanna cause any trouble." So-

Becky G 37:25 Yeah

Jay Shetty 37:25 ... what's some of the work that you've done or what's some of the lessons that you've been able to illuminate about your triggers and where they come from and reframing how do people, how to move away from people-pleasing?

Becky G 37:35 Yeah, well like I said, it's, it's definitely like a daily practice for me, but I think a lot of the first, I would say like the first two years of therapy for me were very reactive to what was happening in real time. I wasn't really comfortable with the idea of shining a spotlight on what the root cause of anything was, you know? It was very ambiguous in the sense of like, "It's gotta be this, this, this, 'cause this happened." And so going back to like the r- the reactiveness of the first two years for me is, is funny because yeah, there was a lot of small fires that I had to put out in that moment. It was a very high-stress time in my career, in my personal life when I had first started therapy. But I think when I really surrendered to the fact that this goes so much deeper than just what's happening around me, but it's like how I exist in all of it.

Jay Shetty 38:22 Mm.

Becky G 38:22 Like that is when I was like, "Oh yeah, this, this goes a lot deeper." And a lot of it is, you know, childhood stuff, and when I think about, you know, big part of my childhood was also shared in an industry that, you know, my parents were very, very young. They knew nothing about it, like quite literally and, and even then I like to think I came out kind of okay, but you know, like they, they couldn't really protect me from much when it came to that stuff. And then the fact that they were young parents when they got married and, and had children, like they were babies raising babies.

Jay Shetty 38:54 Mm.

Becky G 38:54 And so there was a lot of things I had to like learn for myself and teach for myself. And so I think having a lot more empathy for myself was like a, a big step in therapy because it was hard for me to accept the fact that I went without things.

Jay Shetty 39:09 Mm.

Becky G 39:10 Like what do you mean? But we tried our best.

Jay Shetty 39:12 Mm.

Becky G 39:12 But we did what we had to do. I did what I had to do. There was just so much resistance to the fact that I still didn't get what I really needed.

Jay Shetty 39:21 Mm.

Becky G 39:21 And so I think when you can just come from that space of empathy and compassion for yourself, that like fr- everybody really was trying. You really were trying, and it still came out a little short, but hey, it's not too late. Like you can still learn. You can still learn, you know? And then that was like, I would say the, yeah, third year of therapy, and that's crazy 'cause you're right, it's an investment, and even then, I mean some of the, the types of work that I do. You know, I think when you take inventory on your life, you know, like really taking inventory on what your relationships with the people around you in your life look like and felt like from the moment you were born till this current day, inventory on memories, you know, experiences that you've had and your recollections of them, and then also kind of revisiting those with those people and being like, "Hey, what was your experience like in this?" You know? It's the trippiest thing for me and my siblings 'cause I'm like we that has had the same parents, grew up with the same four walls around us, and we're all so different.

Jay Shetty 40:20 Yeah.

Becky G 40:20 And we all process so different, right? So going back to an even, the deeper level of compassion and empathy, holding space for each other in that way, so beautiful.

Jay Shetty 40:29 Yeah. [laughs]

Becky G 40:29 We didn't get to really doing that until we went into family therapy together. So thankful for the resource and opportunity to do that 'cause there's, there's a lot of times where I'm like man, like we, th- things could have gone one or another way and we kept choosing, you know, family and we got to a point where like choosing family, this ride or die mentality of like oh, you know, it's like why do we have to ride or die? Why can't we just be, you know?

Jay Shetty 40:55 [laughs]

Becky G 40:55 Like nobody's gonna ask that question and I was the big sister who was like, you know, parentified so I was like, "I'm their parent. They're my..." And they're like, "We just want you to be our big sister."

Jay Shetty 41:05 Yeah.

Becky G 41:05 "We don't need you to be our mom or our dad." And I'm like, "What do you mean? I have to be."

Jay Shetty 41:09 [laughs]

Becky G 41:09 It was like all those rigid roles and stuff, so taking inventory was super helpful for me.

Jay Shetty 41:14 Yeah.

Becky G 41:14 Gave me so much perspective. And then recently I started doing like parts work which when we're talking about all the parts, you know? Like oh, there's a part of me that's still a child. I'm still freaking afraid of the dark. I, the amount of times I travel and I'm alone in my hotel room and I'm like I'm gonna sleep with the TV on just so it feels like somebody's here 'cause it's a little scary in here.

Jay Shetty 41:34 Yeah.

Becky G 41:34 Um, that's a part of me, you know? That's a part of me that's still trying to figure, figure things out and still feels a little lonely and still feels a little lost. Um, there's the boss part of me that feels super empowered and, and feels like such a visionary over the career that I've built for myself and excited to like continue to attack these like parts of the industry that quite literally need to just be broken down, you know, so more of, more of me can get in there. When I say more of me, I mean other powerful women who have, you know, so much talent and so much just to offer in these spaces. Yeah, it's, it's beautiful. I love the parts work.

Jay Shetty 42:10 Yeah. No, and it's so beautiful to hear someone talk about it so thoroughly and thoughtfully and I think when you can articulate something effectively, it means you're more likely to be able to process it up here.

Becky G 42:22 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 42:23 Right? When you can ac-

Becky G 42:24 W- the, the feeling part-

Jay Shetty 42:25 Yeah

Becky G 42:25 ... though.

Jay Shetty 42:26 [laughs]

Becky G 42:26 That's, that's the other part 'cause I re- I learned this from myself. It's like Becky, you're really good at intellectualizing your feelings, but do you feel them?

Jay Shetty 42:32 [laughs]

Becky G 42:34 Cue the tears. Like I on purpose sometimes have to like get myself to that space to release 'cause the body keeps count. The body keeps score of all of what you go through so you can be like yeah, I was really stressed, I was really this. If you don't allow your body to feel it somatically-

Jay Shetty 42:52 Mm

Becky G 42:52 ... like that's the other thing that for me I think I find myself like that's was the manifestation of the panic attacks and things like that. Like oh right, anxiety, depression. They're not the diagnosis, they're the result of- That was like, whoa, big knowledge for me. 'Cause I was like, "Oh, yeah, I just have anxiety and depression. It's normal." [laughs] Like, "I just have panic attacks all the time." Like, no, your body is telling you something. You are processing something that you aren't letting your body feel-

Jay Shetty 43:23 Mm-hmm

Becky G 43:24 ... you know?

Jay Shetty 43:24 Mm-hmm. It's, again, a hard reality-

Becky G 43:26 Yes

Jay Shetty 43:26 ... because allowing yourself to feel it again is... It almost goes back to that giving permission, like just giving ourselves permission to feel, giving ourselves permission to process something, giving ourselves permission to allow for this paradox to exist. When was the last time you cried?

Becky G 43:42 This morning.

Jay Shetty 43:43 Yeah?

Becky G 43:44 Yeah, that's why I'm not crying right now. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 43:45 [laughs]

Becky G 43:46 No, truly.

Jay Shetty 43:47 Yeah.

Becky G 43:47 Truthfully speaking, it was this morning. Um, it's such a stressful time, you know, and it's a, it's a time where I feel like in my career... It's funny to me. I'm like, I can walk off a stage and feel like, "Oh, I wanna do that all over again," and then leading up to a performance I'm like, "Why do I do this to myself? This is torturous." Um, and I ne- but I, I like to think that, uh, I, I always regret not working out. I never regret the workout.

Jay Shetty 44:13 Mm.

Becky G 44:14 And so I try to think about that way in my life.

Jay Shetty 44:16 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 44:17 Like, ugh, I gotta do hard thing- I was designed to do hard things, you know? But even then, acknowledging that it's hard is super important, 'cause then you can have that compassion and empathy for yourself, but if you don't acknowledge that it can be very challenging, you're not gonna leave any room for that compassion and that empathy that you need to have for yourself in order to do those hard things. And so, yeah, your girl was crying. It was a full moon.

Jay Shetty 44:42 Oh.

Becky G 44:42 It was, it was all kinds of things, but it was good. It was a good cry. Like, it's not always, like, a sad cry. Sometimes it's like a, a release, like a-

Jay Shetty 44:51 Mm

Becky G 44:51 ... sense of relief, you know?

Jay Shetty 44:52 Yeah. It's really interesting that if someone's natural reaction to something was to laugh, we'd see that as normal.

Becky G 44:58 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 44:59 But when someone's natural reaction to something is to cry, we see that as wrong.

Becky G 45:03 Yep.

Jay Shetty 45:03 Or it's like, "Stop crying. Everything will be okay." We'd never say to someone, "Stop laughing. Everything will be okay," right?

Becky G 45:08 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 45:08 Or everything is okay. Like, it's really interesting to me which emotions we allow for in society and which emotions we try and block-

Becky G 45:16 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 45:16 ... others and ourselves from having. And I find that the more we try and stop others from having a certain emotion, it's usually because we block that in ourself for a long, long time.

Becky G 45:27 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 45:28 And I love that you cried this morning, and that that was a release for you, and it was helpful for you-

Becky G 45:32 Thank you

Jay Shetty 45:32 ... and it's powerful. Yeah, I, I think it's... And I'm so glad you shared that with us today as well, because at the moment we're experiencing a really vibrant, abundant with your frequency. And the interesting thing is when you were crying, you were still vibrant and abundant. Like, we shouldn't see that-

Becky G 45:47 Yeah

Jay Shetty 45:47 ... as not that. Right? Just because it looks different.

Becky G 45:50 Yeah, definitely. And I, and I think it's like, it goes back to, like, those core, those core emotions, you know? Really understanding, like, again, what are the symptoms of those core emotions, and when I'm feeling this anxiety, when I'm feeling... Is it coming from a place of fear, and do I just need to talk about it, or am I experiencing such great joy that my body really doesn't know how to receive this right now, you know? Or am I experiencing both because there's two things going on at the same time. Um, and, and I think it's doing that, that check-in with yourself that's super important, making time for it. You know, like, I genuinely made time to cry today, and I'm very proud that I did that, because I would be crying right now, which would've been totally fine as well, but, uh, but I think it's also such a, it's such a sacred practice for me, not crying, but just checking in with myself, that to be able to know how to do that and support myself in that way instead of seeking it, again, in a, in a space of validation when it feels too late and more reactive, um, or from people who maybe don't know how to do that for me. It feels empowering to know, oh, I, I got me.

Jay Shetty 46:55 Mm.

Becky G 46:55 I always got me.

Jay Shetty 46:56 Mm.

Becky G 46:56 You know?

Jay Shetty 46:57 Oh, I mean, if we could all just feel like, "I've always got me."

Becky G 47:00 And we don't all the time.

Jay Shetty 47:02 Yeah.

Becky G 47:02 Like I said, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a daily practice to make that effort, and even then I fall short. You know? I've fallen short-

Jay Shetty 47:08 Me too

Becky G 47:08 ... even for friends and family members of mine, and I think that's, that's when our human really shows. You know? Like, there's that window of tolerance, and we can try to expand it as much as possible, but there's... it's still a window, you know? Like, it's still a window, and some days it's this big, and some days it can be this big. Um, and so it's just, like, acknowledging, and then expressing that too, just letting everyone know, "Hey, my window's, my window's really small today."

Jay Shetty 47:34 [laughs]

Becky G 47:34 "It's Becky size."

Jay Shetty 47:35 [laughs]

Becky G 47:36 Um, or sometimes it's just like, "Yo, my window's big. We could fit a whole house through that thing," you know?

Jay Shetty 47:41 [laughs]

Becky G 47:41 "Everybody br- come on in."

Jay Shetty 47:42 Yeah.

Becky G 47:43 It's nice to just be able to vibe check like that.

Jay Shetty 47:45 Yeah, and that's that daily, as you've used the word, inventory, that daily check-in of, like, "Where am I at? How am I feeling? What can I offer? Is today a internal day or an external day?"

Becky G 47:57 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 47:57 Like, I, I do that all the time too. There are certain days where I can literally be there for anyone and everyone, and I am this outward person, and then there are days where I just wanna be alone and be in silence and stillness, and being able to accept that they're both one and the same thing.

Becky G 48:14 Yes.

Jay Shetty 48:15 That one is not a better expression of me and one is not a worse expression

Jay Shetty 48:19 of me.

Becky G 48:19 Yes.

Jay Shetty 48:19 I think we still live in this world of what's right and wrong, and better or worse.

Becky G 48:23 Good, bad. Yes.

Jay Shetty 48:23 Good or bad.

Becky G 48:24 Ugh, I can't.

Jay Shetty 48:25 Uh-

Becky G 48:25 That's what I mean about the black and white thinking-

Jay Shetty 48:27 Yeah, yeah

Becky G 48:28 ... that I was talking about earlier. And, uh, what's that sto- there's a story about the man, uh, and he says, "Well, we'll, we'll just have to wait and see," basically. Um, I'm, I'm totally that.

Jay Shetty 48:38 I think I know which one.

Becky G 48:39 Yes.

Jay Shetty 48:39 It's about the-

Becky G 48:40 It's, he's like a father and his son-

Jay Shetty 48:42 Yes

Becky G 48:42 ... and this thing happens.

Jay Shetty 48:44 Yes.

Becky G 48:44 And then he- they're like, "Oh, I'm so sorry," and he's like, "Well, we'll, we'll see." You know?

Jay Shetty 48:47 Yeah.

Becky G 48:47 "We'll see." And it actually, you know, there's so many things that you think are a bad thing, right, quote, unquote, "bad thing" that are happening, but in reality it's a good thing. And, uh, and then maybe, maybe it turns out to not be a good thing. You just never know, you know? But I like to think, uh, that everything happens for you, not to you.

Jay Shetty 49:05 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 49:06 Like, that is my, that is my, my mojo these days. Everything is happening for me, not to me. And it's interesting how your, the way you exist in those spaces will actually shift because you realize, "Oh, this is in my favor."

Jay Shetty 49:21 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 49:21 "I'm supposed to learn something from this," you know?

Jay Shetty 49:24 Yeah.

Becky G 49:24 "I'm supposed to, like, gain something from this."

Jay Shetty 49:27 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 49:27 And that's why the whole concept of failure and success, like navigating this industry since such a young age, there's songs of mine that I love, that I thought deserved to be the [laughs] number one song, and they're probably, like, the lowest streaming whatever, you know? But it's like, what it means to me is a win. Like, that is a success to me. That's not a failure. You know? And so i- it's like redefining what, what success means to you, uh, redefining what greatness is. It's redefining what all of the, the stuff that life has to offer and saying, "No, this is happening for me," not to me.

Jay Shetty 50:02 Mm.

Becky G 50:02 For me.

Jay Shetty 50:03 Mm.

Becky G 50:03 And I just think it's so imp- Yeah.

Jay Shetty 50:06 Yeah, for anyone who's wondering, the story that Becky was referring to, which-

Becky G 50:09 Please tell it [laughs]

Jay Shetty 50:09 ... she just encapsulated in that point, it's a beautiful zen story about a man and his son, and the man buys his son a horse.

Becky G 50:18 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 50:19 Or actually, his son finds a horse, I believe, and comes home riding this beautiful horse, and all the villagers are like, "Wow, this is amazing. Like, he's just so incredible that he could tame this wild horse, and now he's riding it, and look how elegant it is." And the man s- the father says, "Good thing, bad thing, who knows?" Or, "Maybe, let's see."

Becky G 50:39 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 50:39 And then the next thing that happens is that the son's riding the horse, and then he gets thrown off the horse. And when he gets thrown off the horse, his leg gets fractured, and he has to have an operation and surgery and whatever else, and everyone in the village is like, "Oh my God, this is the worst thing that's ever happened. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no." And the man says, "Good thing, bad thing, who knows?" Or, "Maybe, let's see." And then after that, they come and recruit everyone in the village to join the army because they've got to defend themselves, but this guy can't go, and everyone's like, "You're so lucky your son's not going because his leg's broken. All of our sons have gone. We're gonna miss them." And the man says, "Good thing, bad thing, who knows?" Or, "Maybe, let's see." And it continues that way that it's r- And it's really hard in the moment to live that way because when it feels like... Because our mind has been trained in that good and bad, when something bad is happening, it feels like nothing good can come from it. And the interesting thing is when something good happens, we're also equally convinced nothing bad can come from this.

Becky G 51:38 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 51:39 And the truth is, those two moments can switch so quickly, and I've been at the intersection of both of them in my life, and I've just found that not seeing things as good or bad, but seeing them as just learning and lessons and healing and growth, and what you just said, which is that it's all about what's happening for us-

Becky G 51:59 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 51:59 ... if we can just live in that way, it's better than the dichotomy of good and bad, positive and negative.

Becky G 52:06 Ugh, Jay Shetty, ladies and gentlemen.

Jay Shetty 52:08 [laughs]

Becky G 52:08 Nah. I just, yeah.

Jay Shetty 52:11 Yeah.

Becky G 52:11 Y- yeah. I mean [laughs] you definitely told the story better than I did. I know-

Jay Shetty 52:14 No, no, I'm just filling in the gaps

Becky G 52:16 ... no, no, but I, I really-

Jay Shetty 52:16 Yeah

Becky G 52:16 ... appreciate you going into that, that much detail, 'cause I, I think that is... I, I, I wish that for the, the future generations to really know that, to really know that there is no such thing as, as good or bad. There's just you-

Jay Shetty 52:31 Mm

Becky G 52:31 ... just doing, doing what you can do for yourself, whatever that looks like, you know? And, and unfortunately, I think what happens for a lot of youth that grows up in, you know, communities like the ones I grew up in, it's like we're doing a lot of things that we were never taught.

Jay Shetty 52:48 Mm.

Becky G 52:48 You know? Like, we we're, we're doing a lot of things that we were never taught, and so there's a lot of, like, self-doubt that creeps in. There's a lot of shame that creeps in. There's a lot of, "Oh," you know, "do I trust myself, or do I just stay where I'm comfortable?" And it's just like, nah, just, just do the best that you can. Whatever that looks like, just do the best that you can, you know? And I, I, I feel proud that there's moments in my life that I can look back at and say, "Wow, I really, I really showed up for myself," you know, in the best way I knew how to.

Jay Shetty 53:17 Mm.

Becky G 53:17 Maybe would look a little different today, but even then, like, very proud nonetheless. And so yeah, I, I, I hope that for the future generations, that they leave room for themselves to know that good thing, bad thing, I don't know, guess we'll see, you know?

Jay Shetty 53:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what's, you know what's really interesting, Becky? I obviously, I went... So I went on tour for the first time this year-

Becky G 53:37 How was it?

Jay Shetty 53:38 ... with my book. It was what you just-

Becky G 53:40 Hard?

Jay Shetty 53:41 It was hard and grueling and exhausting, and at the same time, the most fulfilling, beautiful, powerful thing. We did, I think it was around just under 40 cities across the world, and it was insane as an experience, and I'm so grateful I did it, but I couldn't do anything else but that for the time that I was out. I think overall, we did that in, like, 80 days, all of that, and it was, it was a lot of travel and everything else. But I was obviously touring for my book, Eight Rules of Love, and it was really interesting to me because there were, there were lots of moments... So the difference about, for those of you who came to my show, you already know, but it wasn't a speech or a lecture. It was literally like a social experiment where I would take people up from the audience. People would be in uncomfortable situations. There'd be humor. There were moments where people were sharing their story with the entire, you know, thousands of people in the room. It was really moving, and there was one area

Jay Shetty 54:36 where we really focused a lot on, and it was this idea of how the biggest space we lose ourself is often in romantic relationships. And romantic relationships tend to be the relationships where we invest the most of us and often find that we leave feeling the most broken or hurt or whatever it may have been. And I wanted to ask you, like, how have you looked at healing through romantic relationships that you've had? We've talked a lot about platonic, friendship, family-

Becky G 55:05 Yeah

Jay Shetty 55:05 ... and life. But romantic relationships tend to affect us deeper. I don't know if you agree with that or feel that way, but-

Becky G 55:12 Uh, yeah. I mean, I'm a sucker for love. I love love.

Jay Shetty 55:15 So am I. So am I.

Becky G 55:16 So-

Jay Shetty 55:16 So I get it

Becky G 55:16 ... I'm so excited to talk about this with you-

Jay Shetty 55:18 Yeah

Becky G 55:18 ... because I know you are, and I think for me, it's because it, it doesn't get any closer to your heart than that, you know? This is, this is the type of experience that isn't, uh, that's ch- actually chosen. You're not born into, you know? You're not, uh, placed into. This is a, this is a space of choice. I, I enjoy this person. I enjoy the time that's spent with this person, and I think that there's so much to be revealed in a dynamic like that about yourself.

Jay Shetty 55:46 Mm.

Becky G 55:47 And you don't realize it because sometimes you're so focused on the other person on the other side that when you realize, like, "Oh, this is actually about me too," you know, it, it, it, it's as close to your heart as it gets, and I think my healing in that is the deepest it's gotten of how do I exist in these spaces? You know, the, the self-accountability part, the self-reflective part of like what part of me shows up in these spaces? And going to the parts work and stuff that I've done in therapy, it's just like, yeah, it's powerful. It's as... I think it's, it's as powerful as it could ever get

Jay Shetty 56:24 Hmm. Because it's the most revealing-

Becky G 56:28 Yeah

Jay Shetty 56:28 ... of, of your weaknesses

Becky G 56:29 Of your weaknesses.

Jay Shetty 56:30 Yeah

Becky G 56:30 Yeah, and your vulnerabilities and, and all of that stuff. And also, maybe not your weaknesses, but also your strengths, you know? It can show you, like, just how, how strong you are, how giving you can be to someone, finding parts of yourself that you didn't know existed, you know? I think it's a very inspiring space to be in. Uh, I was talking, I always just say, I was talking about this with a friend, but it, it funny enough is, is somebody who also works in the industry, and she goes, "Oh, amiga, I used to be told all the time that I'm so unlucky in love, and I beg to differ. I've been so lucky in love." And I'm like, it's that, that change of, of mindset of knowing that, like, everything is happening for us, not to us, and I think that when I think of my journey of healing and relationships, you know, some of my earliest relationships and how I existed in them, and then the ones that I've had in, like, my, my, you know, teenage years, young adult years, um, and how they evolve and how you change-

Jay Shetty 57:26 Mm

Becky G 57:26 ... so much.

Jay Shetty 57:27 Mm.

Becky G 57:27 So much.

Jay Shetty 57:28 What have you turned to that you'd encourage other people to turn to to find that strength within themselves and that connection with themself when it almost feels like the foundations are broken, like those three legs are just destroyed almost?

Becky G 57:42 Yeah. Well, are the three legs actually destroyed? I think it's like, again, it's a, it's an opportunity to reflect inward. What is real, what is not real, and going back to, like, what's happening in the real world versus what's happening, what's happening on social media, it's not always reflective of the same thing, you know? And, and one's experience in something can be so different than someone else's, but leaving room for yours is super important, and then also being selective in who you share that with because it is such a sacred thing, you know? And I think that's been one of the most revealing things for me in this, you know, chapter of my life is, like, who do I share with, with everything?

Jay Shetty 58:21 Mm.

Becky G 58:21 Who do I share with? Who deserves to be in these spaces with me, in my pain, in my peak, in my process, all of those things? Like, I, I deserve to have filters.

Jay Shetty 58:37 Mm.

Becky G 58:37 I deserve to hold space. I deserve to just be and not have to explain, you know? And I, and I think being a, a person who's grown up on social media, there has been so many times in my life where I've just been like, "No, no, but I t- but, uh, but da, da, da, it's..." And then what you say, how you say it, who said it always gets mixed up, always gets used against you in some shape or form.

Jay Shetty 59:07 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 59:07 And, and I think for me it's just like, no, I'm, I'm good 'cause all my three legs are, they're good. They've been solidified. They're being catered to. They're being taken care of, and so my, my table is standing, you know?

Jay Shetty 59:23 Mm-hmm. Mm.

Becky G 59:23 And I'm, I'm proud of that.

Jay Shetty 59:25 Yeah.

Becky G 59:25 I'm very proud of that.

Jay Shetty 59:26 To me, it's really powerful what you just said now around the idea of we get so lost in a conversation that's happening outside of us that isn't actually reality.

Becky G 59:39 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 59:39 And so almost we're looking at the wrong things. We're arguing about the wrong things. We're internally having a debate about something that isn't the thing.

Becky G 59:47 Yep.

Jay Shetty 59:47 I, I actually had a friend I was talking to a week ago, and we were discussing, you know, he's been going through some stuff, and there was someone in his life that he had some rightful animosity towards, right?

Becky G 1:00:07 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:00:07 Like, it would be-

Becky G 1:00:08 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 1:00:08 ... it would be okay for him to feel a certain way about it. And I was asking him what was the big win and what was the ego win.

Becky G 1:00:18 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:00:19 And I was asking him, like, "What is really the win in this situation?" And he was saying, "The win in this situation is that my family member can move on from what they've been going through."

Becky G 1:00:30 Hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:00:30 And I said, "What's the ego win?" And the ego win was that person's life is ruined, right? The other person-

Becky G 1:00:35 Oof

Jay Shetty 1:00:35 ... that, that they were mad at.

Becky G 1:00:37 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:00:37 And it was really interesting, like, just looking at it from that perspective of like it's natural to have the ego win become strong in a situation, but then when you look at the bigger picture and you zoom out, you're like, "Oh, actually, now when I make sense of this, that actually is irrelevant to what I really care about." Does that make any sense?

Becky G 1:00:55 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:00:56 Yeah.

Becky G 1:00:56 100, 100%.

Jay Shetty 1:00:57 And, and so I think to me it's I'm always reflecting on that. Like, what's my ego win in this scenario, and what's the bigger win in this scenario? And that only comes when you take a step back, and what you said, you look at the reality-

Becky G 1:01:10 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 1:01:10 ... and you look at the filter that you just talked about. To me, that's the biggest one, and I love how you said it wasn't just about the pains, it was the peaks.

Becky G 1:01:18 It was the peaks too.

Jay Shetty 1:01:19 That's so well said. Like-

Becky G 1:01:20 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:01:21 ... who's the first person you wanna call when you win, and who's the first person you call when you wanna lose?

Becky G 1:01:27 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:01:27 And there's a filter to that.

Becky G 1:01:28 There's a filter to that on, on what the qualifications of someone, anyone in any way that comes into your space, and I think going, again, it's so crazy. Everything goes back to my childhood of just being like giving, giving, giving, giving. When do you take?

Jay Shetty 1:01:46 Mm.

Becky G 1:01:46 And not take just to take. I mean, like, receive, you know? Like, that to me is, is, uh, is, is, like, the thing to really be just thoughtful about. And so those filters are, again, constantly being reevaluated for me, and that's why I say growing up. I'm not grown up.

Jay Shetty 1:02:05 Yeah. [laughs]

Becky G 1:02:05 I'm growing up, and I'm sure, you know, the same way I felt this, I felt such a strong sense of self at 16, and I look back at her and I'm like You better give me some of that, girlfriend. I don't know what that was or what you was on, but you were, you were locked in.

Jay Shetty 1:02:19 Yeah.

Becky G 1:02:19 But also not aware of what was really out there in the world, and so you go out in the world, and you see what's out there, and you're learning, and you're adapting, and you're taking all these things in, and things start to feel a little different. Your surroundings, your circumstances, they all shift. And then, you know, that this is how I feel at 26. Who's to say I'm not gonna feel any different when I'm 36?

Jay Shetty 1:02:38 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:02:38 You know? And then 46 and so on. And so I think just, like, leaving room, again, for that, like, that humanness and that being in process and the filters, you know? Like, not the filters we see on social media, but the, the real filters that matter.

Jay Shetty 1:02:53 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:02:53 You know? We can't just be drinking any water.

Jay Shetty 1:02:56 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:02:56 Can't just drink any-

Jay Shetty 1:02:57 Mm-hmm

Becky G 1:02:57 ... you can get really sick by drinking just any water.

Jay Shetty 1:02:59 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:03:00 You know? But if also if you just drink only purified water, you're not getting the minerals that you need. You're not getting... You know? So you can't, you can't be too guarded.

Jay Shetty 1:03:07 Yeah.

Becky G 1:03:08 'Cause then that's a very lonely space to live in, you know? To have these walls that no one could ever get through. But, but if you have no walls, you have no, no boundaries, no anything, and everyone and anyone can come in whenever they want to, I don't think that's a way to live life either.

Jay Shetty 1:03:24 Hmm.

Becky G 1:03:24 You know? So, uh, I, I, uh, I like to think of the, um, the, the house that I was born into had no roof sometimes, you know? M- maybe some of the doors were a little funky. There's no locks on the doors, and, and the, the windows are a little broken. But there comes a time where you grow up, and you can say, "I don't have to live in this house anymore."

Jay Shetty 1:03:44 Hmm.

Becky G 1:03:45 I can go build a new house. I can build my own house, where the windows, I can open and close them as I want to, shut the blinds or let in the light. There's locks on my doors. I can let people in and share in my, in my space and share a meal with them and, and even if they'd like to move into my house because I choose for them to, to be in the house, beautiful. But also, there's locks on my doors, so not just anybody can come into my house.

Jay Shetty 1:04:11 Hmm.

Becky G 1:04:12 You know? Knowing that, knowing that I, I've, I've provided a roof over my head that, yeah, if it rains, we're good.

Jay Shetty 1:04:18 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:04:18 We're fine. You know? It can, it can come crashing down-

Jay Shetty 1:04:22 Mm-hmm

Becky G 1:04:23 ... and I will be safe. And I think that's, that's beautiful. Like, we're all building our own houses-

Jay Shetty 1:04:30 Hmm

Becky G 1:04:30 ... that look very different than the houses we grew up in.

Jay Shetty 1:04:33 That is so powerful. Becky G-

Becky G 1:04:35 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:04:36 ... dust off your shoulder. That was like-

Becky G 1:04:38 Thank you. Thank you

Jay Shetty 1:04:38 ... that was like... No, that was so powerful. Like, I love that analogy. It's so, it's so true. There are some people you only meet in restaurants. There are some people who make it to the porch of the front door. There are some people who make it inside to the living room. There are some people who you'll cook a meal for.

Becky G 1:04:55 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:04:55 Some people just order in for. And there's some people who not everyone's allowed into your private spaces, your bedroom, your... You know, like, I think for people to know that they can set how intimate they want to be with different people-

Becky G 1:05:09 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:05:09 ... and that there isn't a policy that exists outside of that, it's something you have to set for yourself, is, is such an important thing to remind people because I think people feel forced through stages. They feel uncomfortable through the different steps. And for you, I mean, you just referred to the home. I was wondering, I think it was...

Jay Shetty 1:05:31 Was it when you were nine years old that-

Becky G 1:05:32 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 1:05:32 ... the home you grew up in-

Becky G 1:05:33 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:05:34 ... burned down?

Becky G 1:05:34 I, I was, I was, uh... Well, it didn't burn down, so the economy at the time was just, it was a very scary time. There was a recession happening, and I just think that, you know, at the time, my parents were so young. They had no idea. They were first-time homeowners, no idea really what type of mortgage they had gotten, you know, committed to, and you hope for the best, but not necessarily prepared for the worst, you know? This was one of those things where I think, I mean, thank God for our families that we had, like, this family support that we had, because we lost everything. We, we lost our home. I went from having, like, my, my first own bedroom. I think most of, most of my life I shared, uh, up until that point, I'd shared a, a bedroom with my siblings, all three of them. And so I remember this house that we were living in. It was the f- the first year I had ever had my own room, and I was so excited. I was like, "This is what Lizzie McGuire has. This is what, like, all the girls on Disney Channel, they get to put posters up on their wall, and they get to, like, you know, rhinestone their closets and whatever." And, and I just remember, like, being so excited about moving into that house, and then when we lost it, just feeling like, "Oh, well, that, that didn't last for very long."

Jay Shetty 1:06:44 Hmm.

Becky G 1:06:45 And I think, like, subconsciously, that started something in my mind that felt like, oh, when you have good things, they go away.

Jay Shetty 1:06:50 Hmm.

Becky G 1:06:51 Nothing lasts forever, so don't hold onto it too tight. And I'm thankful for, like, the flexibility that that gave me in life, but it also makes me very sad for my younger self that really believed that everything good that happened to me came with a really hard price to pay.

Jay Shetty 1:07:08 Hmm.

Becky G 1:07:09 You know? So, like, if you have good things, oh, you gotta be ready. Gotta be ready for something to, you know, the, the, the, for the shoe to drop. And, uh, and so we moved into my grandparents' converted garage in Inglewood, uh, where I was born, and it was a garage I would say the size of this studio, actually, and it was all six of us, my mom, my dad, uh, my two brothers, and my sister. And there was bunk beds. I slept on the bottom bunk with my sister, and my brothers up top, and my parents on the futon bed that, you know, they would make a couch during the day so we'd have a little bit more room. And we had a pop-up table from IKEA that I would do my homework on and eat my cereal.

Jay Shetty 1:07:45 [laughs]

Becky G 1:07:45 That was the knockoff brand of Cocoa Puffs.

Jay Shetty 1:07:47 [laughs]

Becky G 1:07:48 Not the real one.

Jay Shetty 1:07:48 [laughs]

Becky G 1:07:49 All to, all to fast-forward to the day that I decided, you know, I, I wanna do this, I was obsessed with... Which is really funny to me. I mentioned Lizzie McGuire, blonde, white girl. I mentioned I was obsessed with Shirley Temple, young, blonde, white girl. I was obsessed with Dakota Fanning ... blonde, white girl. I don't know what it was, but it was something about how young they were and how, like, empowered they were, and they were doing these, like, very adult things, you know? They were like ... They were the, the heroes of the stories that they were doing and, and, and acting, and I just... I remember thinking like, "Oh, I wanna do that."

Jay Shetty 1:08:26 Mm.

Becky G 1:08:26 Like, I wanna ... And, um, shout out to the internet. I go on Google, and I look up, like, what do you need to do, or what, who represents Dakota Fanning, and all these things. Like, how do you become an actress? And, um, my first agency that I signed with, uh, at nine years old was Osbrink, a agency. Shout out to my first agents.

Jay Shetty 1:08:45 [laughs]

Becky G 1:08:45 And at the time they were representing Dakota Fanning, and I did not know what the heck a monologue was. I didn't know what headshots were. I didn't know any of that was. Uh, but I just knew I really wanted to learn. I really wanted to do this. And a huge shout-out to my parents too, because again, they, they knew nothing about this. They had three other kids, you know, to take care of, too, and the drive from Inglewood to Hollywood is, is, you know, with traffic especially, is not, not very close.

Jay Shetty 1:09:11 No.

Becky G 1:09:11 LA County's big, but they really supported me through that, and I have, like, a little... Like, I printed out a little contract to my parents, and I said, "Give me six months. Just six months, and if nothing-

Jay Shetty 1:09:23 Nine years old

Becky G 1:09:23 ... Yeah. If nothing happens, then, like, I... Okay. Like, you know, that's fine. Like, I'll leave you alone. We'll pretend this never happened, or we can renegotiate our terms." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:09:33 [laughs]

Becky G 1:09:33 You know? We can renegotiate our terms after six months if all goes well. And yeah, going back to just, like, that instinct, that agency, that empowerment that I felt to just, like, to do this thing that no one in my family had ever done. Like, there was really no point of reference, and I'm glad I did it because I look back at the garage, which is, like, still a real place where my family still lives. You know, there's, there's a lot of things up there. My grandma has a couple of, like, little shrine things of like, oh, you know. I'm like, "Grandma, this isn't a museum," you know? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:10:06 [laughs]

Becky G 1:10:06 Like, there's people walking by the house-

Jay Shetty 1:10:07 Yeah

Becky G 1:10:07 ... and they're like, "Is that the house that Becky lived in?" My grandma's like, "Absolutely."

Jay Shetty 1:10:10 [laughs]

Becky G 1:10:10 I'm like, "No."

Jay Shetty 1:10:11 [laughs]

Becky G 1:10:12 Very sacred space. Um, but yeah-

Jay Shetty 1:10:14 [laughs]

Becky G 1:10:14 ... it's like, it's crazy to, like, look back at and think, like, this is, you know, this is where it all started, that fire within me that felt like, no, I can really do this.

Jay Shetty 1:10:25 Mm.

Becky G 1:10:25 Like, let's, let's try this.

Jay Shetty 1:10:27 That's so spectacular.

Becky G 1:10:28 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:10:28 That's special. That's special how so many big dreams start from so many small places.

Becky G 1:10:33 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:10:33 And, and small places within us, too.

Becky G 1:10:36 Yep.

Jay Shetty 1:10:36 And I was gonna ask you that. Like, how have you, now that you're building this new home that has windows that work-

Becky G 1:10:45 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:10:45 ... and has doors that have locks, what's changed about how you decide and define how someone gets to get closer to you and, and connected to you? Like, what has changed? What has evolved? What have you learned growing up about who you allow close?

Becky G 1:11:06 Yeah. I think it's like, a- again, it comes back to knowing not anything has to be concrete. You know? You can, you can vibe with people. You can enjoy beautiful moments with people. Um, and then, and then the moment that something doesn't feel right, you can speak to that, and everything is always, to me, always owed a conversation, you know? I've had friendships in my life that just in all honesty I, I outgrew, and there's all love, and it was a conversation. And it's sometimes that simple, but I think it's just, like, leaving room for that growth.

Jay Shetty 1:11:35 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:11:35 Just like, it's gonna change. That's the point. Like, we grow. Like, we change. Going back to the ice cream, seven years ago it was chocolate. Today it's frozen yogurt, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:11:47 I'm still hurt by that 'cause I love chocolate-

Becky G 1:11:49 I mean-

Jay Shetty 1:11:49 ... so I, I'm, I'm broken

Becky G 1:11:50 ... I'll give it a try again

Jay Shetty 1:11:52 ... I'm broken, I'm broken

Becky G 1:11:52 ... but you know, like, you're literal, like, your... Even your physical body changes. Why wouldn't our minds and our hearts also expand and change in those ways, too, you know? So I think it's like... And it's not just in the way that I hope to be received by other people, but it's just, it's also, like, or, like, how I hold space for other people. It's also, like, being around people who hold that same space for me, you know? Like, I think understanding that these are, like, mutual spaces, right?

Jay Shetty 1:12:19 Yes, yes, yes.

Becky G 1:12:19 Like, it's, it's empowering when you're like, oh, this is a choice.

Jay Shetty 1:12:23 Yeah.

Becky G 1:12:23 Like, I get to choose to be here.

Jay Shetty 1:12:26 Yeah.

Becky G 1:12:26 You got to choose to be here. Like, and we're here together. Like, that to me has been the most beautiful part of my, like, evolution and healing is like, man, like, when I go on tour, my fans buy their tickets 'cause they chose to be there.

Jay Shetty 1:12:40 Yeah.

Becky G 1:12:40 Like, you know, the same way I chose to walk onto that stage. Like, let's not rob ourselves of that, like, empowerment, that agency that we have over our lives to decide, to choose what's good for you, what's best for you, what motivates you, what inspires you, and that can be the bad things. That could be the hard things. That could be the... Because there's no such thing as good, bad, um, whatever, you know? It's, it just is.

Jay Shetty 1:13:08 Mm. You know, when I, when I was speaking to you, and I love this, uh, and I love it when I get to experience it in someone because I think it's quite rare, but you would

Jay Shetty 1:13:17 just have such a, like, strong spirit-

Becky G 1:13:18 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:13:19 ... of just, like, positivity, mindset. Like, y- obviously you're working on all of these things as we've been talking about today, and I love seeing it be so tough in someone. Not, I'm not saying that, of course, like you said, you cried this morning. Like, I'm not-

Becky G 1:13:34 [laughs] Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:13:34 I'm not saying-

Becky G 1:13:34 I was like, "That's all tough."

Jay Shetty 1:13:35 I'm not saying without... I'm actually more tough. I'm not saying tough in the sense that there isn't any pain or stress, of course. To, and to me, the display of, to yourself, of pain is even tougher, to be able to admit to yourself that, hey, I'm working on this stuff. How have you stayed so open to that mindset of trust and forgiveness for yourself and others when it almost seems like there's so many reasons to not be that way? When-

Becky G 1:14:07 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:14:07 ... if that makes sense.

Becky G 1:14:08 Well, I think it's just going back to, like, it makes, it makes it easier for our human mind to see things in black and white, right? It makes our life easier, but actually it doesn't. I feel like it cuts us short from the experience that we're supposed to have.

Jay Shetty 1:14:21 Mm.

Becky G 1:14:21 I like, I, I believe in karmic energy. I believe that, like, we are here for a reason, you know? There's, there's... We're here on purpose. There is a purpose to our pain, to our, our, our happiness, to our greatest joys, to our anger. There's purpose to all of it, and so I think just, like, really allowing yourself to be open to it is, is where I think I find it. It's like, it is that story of the father and his son. Like, I don't think that there's these practices that have been around for, like, generations and generations and decades, you know, to think that, like, "Yeah, it's just a bunch of hocus pocus."

Jay Shetty 1:15:01 Mm.

Becky G 1:15:02 You know? Like, I, I just don't-

Jay Shetty 1:15:04 Yeah

Becky G 1:15:04 ... I don't think so. Like, I think that's why I have a hard time trusting, like, the power of technology sometimes. That's a whole other conversation, but it's like, hasn't been around long enough for me to-

Jay Shetty 1:15:12 Yeah

Becky G 1:15:12 ... really understand what this is and what it's capable of.

Jay Shetty 1:15:15 Great point, yeah.

Becky G 1:15:16 And the impacts that it has, like I said, on, on the future generations. Like, it is, it's intimidating, and I think... But you gotta be open to it.

Jay Shetty 1:15:23 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:15:23 Because if it cuts our processing time, you know, by half and our kids can b- learn more, that, that's great, but I, I believe in balance. I believe that we need balance as human beings, and I think that there's just so much more to this life than just being like, "Well, I don't like you." It's like, okay, well, maybe there's something in that person that you don't like that actually reflects something that you don't like about yourself, but you're not ready for that conversation. You know, some people just aren't, and that's totally fine, but I am that person. Like, put... Yeah, I love it.

Jay Shetty 1:15:55 [laughs]

Becky G 1:15:56 I really do.

Jay Shetty 1:15:57 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Becky G 1:15:58 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:15:58 I could sense that. I could tell that, and it's, and it's, it's fun to watch. I, I think it's, it's really meaningful to see

Jay Shetty 1:16:05 it in someone. You've talked about having guardian angels.

Becky G 1:16:07 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:16:08 And I wanted to ask you, when do you feel most connected to your guardian angels?

Becky G 1:16:12 Oh, um, uh, I feel like my faith journey is very interesting because it was something that I was introduced to, again, at a very, very young age because I grew up in a very religious family. My mom was kind of the one to break that up for us, which I'm very thankful for because it allowed me the opportunity to kind of find it on my own instead of it be something that was forced.

Jay Shetty 1:16:36 Mm.

Becky G 1:16:36 'Cause, like, my mom, I remember many times she'd tell me stories, you know, your grandma would just, oh, call us in. We'd be, like, playing outside, having the time of our lives. She's like, "Kids don't even play outside anymore," you know? But here, here, there we were, like playing outside, and my mom would make us come inside and pray the rosary, and we'd be like, "Again? Come on, Grandma."

Jay Shetty 1:16:54 [laughs]

Becky G 1:16:54 "Come on, Mom," you know?

Jay Shetty 1:16:56 Yeah.

Becky G 1:16:56 And, and what I loved is, like, a- as a kid, I would have so many questions. Like, I'd, I'd tell my mom. Like, you know, sometimes d- when I was little, this is very funny, my grandma would sometimes be like, kind of insinuate like, "Oh, you know, people who don't go to church are, like, they're on the, they're on the bad list, the naughty list," right?

Jay Shetty 1:17:12 Yeah.

Becky G 1:17:12 And, and so my mom would be like, "You know how Grandma is. You know, we're gonna go to Diosito's house," you know, which was, like, to go to church. "We're gonna go to Diosito's house." I'm like, "Why doesn't Diosito come to our house?"

Jay Shetty 1:17:21 [laughs]

Becky G 1:17:21 Like, "Why can't he come to our house?" Like-

Jay Shetty 1:17:23 Yeah

Becky G 1:17:24 ... "What's this concept of us having to go to him? Why can't he come to us?"

Jay Shetty 1:17:27 Yeah. [laughs]

Becky G 1:17:27 Like, challenging these things all the time.

Jay Shetty 1:17:30 That's good.

Becky G 1:17:30 And I just remember just thinking in, like, no, spirituality is a mutual connection with source, with greater source, and for me, my connection with God is just, like, yeah, like, He loves me regardless. There's times where I pray and I... I mean, some of the stuff that I share, I'm just like, you know what I mean?

Jay Shetty 1:17:47 Yeah.

Becky G 1:17:47 You know what I mean, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:17:49 Yeah.

Becky G 1:17:50 And I think that that's, like... I l- I love that for me, that I was able to discover that, that faith and, and I feel so protected in, in some of the moments that are so simple.

Jay Shetty 1:17:59 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:17:59 You know? I mean, not just, like, in my moments of, of deep, like, confusion or, like, pain when I am challenged to, like, surrender that control, right? When I say I practice let go, let God. But even just, like, when I'm by myself in my house, like, making my coffee and I'm playing, like, I don't know, a certain song will come on, like, on my playlist, and I'm just like, "That's my grandpa. I know it."

Jay Shetty 1:18:21 Oh, yeah.

Becky G 1:18:21 Like, I know it, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:18:23 Yeah.

Becky G 1:18:23 Or today, a big thing for me is, uh, is dragonflies. I have a dragonfly tattoo, and they, they definitely represent something very significant for me. And I mean, for months now, on the way here, dragonflies. I was like, "Oh."

Jay Shetty 1:18:37 Beautiful.

Becky G 1:18:37 "Everything's gonna be fine."

Jay Shetty 1:18:38 I love that.

Becky G 1:18:39 "We're chilling."

Jay Shetty 1:18:40 [laughs] I love that. That's beautiful, and it's, it's wonderful to have these notes and signs and, you know, moments that make us feel aligned. We all need them in, in some capacity, and I think we-

Becky G 1:18:52 Definitely

Jay Shetty 1:18:52 ... we all look for them because we're all trying to feel connected to something higher and bigger and more powerful than ourselves, whatever it may be, whether it's in the world or, or whether it's beyond. And it's, it's nice hearing about your spiritual journey and how it's evolved because it is so personal, and there's a beautiful, there's a beautiful statement, I believe it's... I believe it was said by David Lynch, and he said that prayer is you talking to God and meditation is God talking to you.

Becky G 1:19:24 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:19:25 And I've always loved that, that idea of the God, of God, universe, whatever you call it, but the idea that prayer is when you're speaking and meditation is when you're listening.

Becky G 1:19:34 Yes.

Jay Shetty 1:19:35 And that communication is mutual. As you said-

Becky G 1:19:37 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 1:19:37 ... it's this two-way connection. It's not a one-way as it's often portrayed or comes across.

Jay Shetty 1:19:44 And I really find that as well, that sometimes my job is to stop talking and just to listen.

Becky G 1:19:49 Yep.

Jay Shetty 1:19:50 And so often we're just talking too much or trying to figure it all out or problem-solving, and that listening ability is so lost in the art of communication.

Becky G 1:20:00 100%.

Jay Shetty 1:20:01 Yeah.

Becky G 1:20:01 Yeah. It's, it's... That's why I said, you know, everything is always a conversation. I think that's how we should look at even things that can't talk back to me. My, my dogs that live at my mom's house, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:20:10 Yeah.

Becky G 1:20:10 All of that, I love them so much. There is a mutual love. They can't necessarily talk back to me, but I listen. I take the time to, like, connect with them, you know? But I think it's about being that type of, you know, intentional ... type of person, I guess, when, when you're having these daily practices, and that's why I think when I, like, meditate, like, there was, like, a shift. Instead of saying, like, "What do I want? What do, what do I feel right now?" It's like, "What do you want?" Like, it's, it's serve- You have to ask your subconscious. You have to bring parts of yourself forward, you know, to really receive what that is because our psyche's, like, it's crazy.

Jay Shetty 1:20:47 [laughs]

Becky G 1:20:47 There's certain things that I've unpacked in therapy. I was like, "Oh, I didn't even remember that that happened," you know?

Jay Shetty 1:20:53 Yeah.

Becky G 1:20:53 Like, and it's, it's because our minds are very powerful. Our minds were designed to protect us, right? Like, our human body wants to survive and avoid death at all costs, but our spirit needs death. Our spirit needs death. The, the, the thing of giving up something to then have a rebirth of something else, to gain something else, like, you have to be willing to do that, you know? Like, there's so many parts of myself that I think, you know, I, I have kind of, like, resolved with, and it's beautiful to look back at. Like, that's, that's skin that I needed to shed.

Jay Shetty 1:21:35 Mm.

Becky G 1:21:35 That's a beautiful thing, but there's, like, you know, parts in that that probably people I grew up with, people that knew me to be a certain way that was more beneficial for them, um, would probably be like, "She changed."

Jay Shetty 1:21:49 Yeah.

Becky G 1:21:49 It's like, "No, I did. I actually did."

Jay Shetty 1:21:52 Yeah.

Becky G 1:21:52 "I did change," you know? And then I don't think that's a bad thing. So it's funny how, yeah, spirit can need something different than, like, what our body is, like, designed for, and you're like, "No, no, no, it's not the literal thing. It's, it's the shedding," you know?

Jay Shetty 1:22:05 Yeah.

Becky G 1:22:05 "It's the shedding that needs to happen."

Jay Shetty 1:22:07 Yeah. Becky,

Jay Shetty 1:22:08 it's been such a joy talking to you today, and I'm so glad-

Becky G 1:22:10 Thank you

Jay Shetty 1:22:10 ... that we've finally connected in this way.

Becky G 1:22:12 Same.

Jay Shetty 1:22:12 And we've got to share your abundant, energetic spirit with everyone through this-

Becky G 1:22:17 Thank you so much

Jay Shetty 1:22:18 ... episode, and I'm hoping that everyone who listens to it can kind of, you know, walk away feeling that positive energy through your voice, through your energy into them as well because I really feel like it's come across for me too.

Becky G 1:22:29 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:22:29 Like, you just, yeah, you just have this spark, and I'm hoping that everyone today got to feel a bit of it. But we end every On Purpose episode with our Final Five, which is a question that has to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

Becky G 1:22:43 Ooh [laughs] .

Jay Shetty 1:22:44 So Becky G, these are your Final Five. Uh, the first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

Becky G 1:22:51 You miss 100% of the shots you never take.

Jay Shetty 1:22:54 Mm.

Becky G 1:22:54 I, I think that's one sentence, right?

Jay Shetty 1:22:56 Yeah, yeah.

Becky G 1:22:57 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:22:57 That's good. Yeah, yeah.

Becky G 1:22:57 Just wanna make sure.

Jay Shetty 1:22:58 Yeah, yeah.

Becky G 1:22:58 I was like, "Is it supposed to really be one word?" [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:22:59 That works. That wo- No, no, no. One word to one sentence is fine. Uh, question number two: What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Becky G 1:23:07 I don't know. I'm that per, I'm that positive Patty.

Jay Shetty 1:23:09 [laughs]

Becky G 1:23:09 I'm like, even those negative things, they're a positive thing.

Jay Shetty 1:23:11 [laughs]

Becky G 1:23:12 Ah, I would say, um, just make sure you really think about it. It's like, no, you could overthink it. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:23:20 Yeah, yeah.

Becky G 1:23:20 That's what I would say. Just make sure you really think about it, really think about what you're saying.

Jay Shetty 1:23:24 Yeah.

Becky G 1:23:24 Or really think about, you know, what it is that you're asking for.

Jay Shetty 1:23:27 Yeah.

Becky G 1:23:27 But no, no, no. I trust my gut.

Jay Shetty 1:23:29 Got it.

Becky G 1:23:29 I would say probably that's the worst advice. You should really think about that.

Jay Shetty 1:23:32 Yeah. Got it.

Becky G 1:23:33 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:23:33 [laughs] Uh, question number three: What is something you're currently trying to unlearn?

Becky G 1:23:41 Mm. Definitely people-pleasing.

Jay Shetty 1:23:44 What's the hardest part about giving it up?

Becky G 1:23:46 Uh, it's just second nature. You don't even realize, like, how you practice that on a daily basis, you know? Like I said, growing up in this industry, just, it, it... I feel like there's a lot of child stars that are set up to not be very successful as adults who are trying to take agency over their own life, and so, uh, just knowing that, like, your feelings matter. How you feel matters, and also, not everybody needs to participate in that.

Jay Shetty 1:24:13 Mm-hmm, and that even if you spend your whole life trying to please everyone, chances are they'll still be upset with you-

Becky G 1:24:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:24:21 ... for something else.

Becky G 1:24:22 Yeah, and again, maybe it has more to do with them than it does you.

Jay Shetty 1:24:25 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:24:25 So totally.

Jay Shetty 1:24:27 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:24:27 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:24:28 Great. All right, question number four: What's something that you used to value that isn't important anymore?

Becky G 1:24:35 Mm. I would say, like, the optics.

Jay Shetty 1:24:39 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:24:39 The optics of what it is to, like, be in, like, the limelight.

Jay Shetty 1:24:42 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:24:43 Like, going back to, like, that thing that, like, oh, everybody needs to like you, and, like, you know, you gotta, you gotta feed the beast or whatever. I don't, I don't think I really value that anymore. I value, like, my, my personal peace-

Jay Shetty 1:24:57 Mm

Becky G 1:24:57 ... more than anything else.

Jay Shetty 1:24:58 Mm. I like that.

Becky G 1:25:00 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:25:00 Beautiful. Fifth and final question: If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

Becky G 1:25:08 Oh, that everybody practiced and had access to some form of therapy.

Jay Shetty 1:25:14 Yeah, I'd love for, to be able to help that happen too.

Becky G 1:25:16 Yes. Yeah, the access to, to resource, I think, is, is very crucial.

Jay Shetty 1:25:22 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:25:22 But I think I would make that, like, immediate.

Jay Shetty 1:25:25 Mm-hmm.

Becky G 1:25:25 Like, starting [laughs] today.

Jay Shetty 1:25:27 Yeah.

Becky G 1:25:27 Sign on the dotted line.

Jay Shetty 1:25:29 Yeah.

Becky G 1:25:29 Like, I think we all deserve safe spaces. I don't think we have enough of them.

Jay Shetty 1:25:34 Well said. Becky G, everyone. Thank you so much, Becky-

Becky G 1:25:37 Thank you

Jay Shetty 1:25:37 ... for having so much presence, openness, vulnerability with us here today, and everyone who's been listening or watching, make sure you tag me and Becky with your favorite moments. I love seeing what stuck with you, maybe what's helped you, maybe something you're gonna pass on to a friend because you know they need to hear it. I know Becky and I would love to see that. Please make sure you do that. And Becky, thank you so much. I can't wait for everyone to go and stream-

Becky G 1:26:01 Thank you

Jay Shetty 1:26:01 ... Esquinas right now. Uh, it's available. If you're listening right now, you can go stream right, right now, so go to everywhere you listen to music, uh, and go and listen in. But thank you so much, Becky. It's such a pleasure.

Becky G 1:26:12 Thank you. I really appreciate you so much.

Jay Shetty 1:26:13 Thank you so much. If you loved this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

Becky G 1:26:25 My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength and gaining wisdom, and I just wanna keep doing that