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Jay Shetty Podcast

Before You WASTE Another Year Of Your Life Away, WATCH THIS! | Gary Vee & Jay Shetty

Jay Shetty sits down once again with Gary Vee to talk about choosing to fight for your passion over what other people have to say. When you allow people and their opinions affect how you live, you give them control over your life.

GVGary VaynerchukguestJSJay Shettyhost

Jun 13, 2022·36m·Watch on YouTube ↗

📖 CHAPTERS

Chapter summaries

1. 1

   Accountability starts with what you choose to consume and believe

   Gary Vaynerchuk opens by emphasizing personal control and accountability. He frames unhappiness as often rooted in blaming others instead of owning choices like inputs, beliefs, and environment.

   • •Personal responsibility over what you consume, believe, and share
   • •Choosing who you surround yourself with as a life lever
   • •A critique of the cultural tendency to blame instead of owning outcomes
2. 2

   VCon debrief: calibrating the first event to build bigger next time

   Jay Shetty asks about VCon, and Gary reflects on it as a successful first-year event. He explains he intentionally “held back” to learn the context and now feels ready to be more ambitious.

   • •VCon as a community-and-education-focused event that “felt right”
   • •Holding back due to uncertainty about the scale and execution
   • •Using the first run as calibration to expand the vision for the next event
   • •Comparing the first year to a fighter “feeling out” the first round
3. 3

   A pivotal father-son moment: optimism, upbringing, and emotional impact

   Jay brings up an emotional clip with Gary’s dad, prompting Gary to describe how his dad’s USSR upbringing shaped a different worldview. Gary shares that recent conversations and a shift in a specific “ingredient” could make his dad—and those around him—happier.

   • •Gary describes the USSR as a restrictive environment that shaped his father’s outlook
   • •Gary notes he and his dad see employees and the world differently
   • •He references insights from writing his book about “ingredients” and combinations
   • •The moment felt significant because it could create a meaningful long-term change
   • •Gary connects the experience to the power of helping someone you love most
4. 4

   Choosing “and” over “or”: embracing contradictions and rejecting tribal thinking

   Gary explains his focus on “and versus or,” tying it to political polarization and social pressure to adopt all-or-nothing positions. Both he and Jay discuss being “paradoxes” who refuse to reduce themselves to one identity.

   • •“Purple” as a metaphor for refusing 100% red/100% blue thinking
   • •People changing opinions to match a tribe, which Gary finds damaging
   • •Gary sees contradiction as a strength rather than a flaw
   • •Jay relates through his own mix of spirituality, media, and business
   • •A push to normalize complexity instead of black-and-white identity
5. 5

   Self-awareness and doing it your way (even if it’s not Gary’s way)

   Gary argues that people should act on their own terms, not copy his high-energy style or tactics. He says self-awareness and self-love matter more than following any single platform playbook.

   • •Some people thrive juggling many pursuits; others don’t—and both are valid
   • •Gary rejects the idea that he should “pick one thing,” saying it would crush him
   • •He mentions tactics like posting frequently on TikTok, while stressing it’s optional
   • •He compares disliking TikTok to his own dislike of reading—don’t force misfit behaviors
   • •A reminder that his strengths (energy, charisma) aren’t necessarily trainable for everyone
6. 6

   Judgment, intent, and envy: why people beat themselves up

   Gary says modern culture has made judging others a popular pastime, and he links that to people judging themselves harshly. He argues that intent should matter more in how we interpret others’ actions and mistakes.

   • •A commitment to not judging others begins with not judging oneself
   • •People often label others to avoid doing the work of understanding context
   • •Gary calls for “intent” to return to conversations about behavior
   • •He acknowledges envy and jealousy as powerful forces and focuses on solving root issues
   • •Jay adds that self-awareness can narrow envy into something actionable
7. 7

   Redefining success: process over trophies and being “the winner of the room”

   Gary explains that success needs to be redefined around happiness and personal alignment rather than status symbols. He uses his desire to buy the New York Jets as an example of enjoying the challenge, not chasing validation.

   • •Buying the Jets framed as a “fun game,” not a need for external validation
   • •“Process over the trophies” as a guiding mindset
   • •A story about a happy attendee who earned less money yet, in Gary’s view, “won” the room
   • •Support for capitalism “in balance,” alongside a critique of money as the only scoreboard
   • •Jay and Gary connect self-awareness to healthier ambition and relationships
8. 8

   A simple life, compassion + empathy, and the role of competition

   Gary describes being calm and content privately despite his intense public persona. He credits compassion, low expectations of others, and simplicity, then pivots to how anxiety rises when merit and competition are demonized.

   • •Gary says he’s “very happy” because he’s “very simple” and doesn’t want much
   • •He distinguishes compassion (concern for others) alongside empathy (feeling others)
   • •He shares that many challenges stem from being non-confrontational despite stage intensity
   • •He argues social media exposes human dynamics rather than creating them from scratch
   • •He believes eliminating merit and competition—despite good intent—creates entitlement and unhappiness
9. 9

   Why losing matters: building resilience early (and how Gary does it with his kids)

   Gary and Jay argue that discomfort and losing build resilience, and that parents sometimes overprotect kids from pain. Gary gives a blunt method for teaching loss: compete and let children lose, so they build thicker skin.

   • •“We have demonized losing when losing is the best,” Gary says
   • •Gary recalls being told school meant he’d be a failure, while competing constantly and losing often
   • •He describes crying as a kid when losing, but says it built “layers of skin” needed for public life
   • •Gary critiques parents intervening at school and inflating workplace expectations
   • •When asked how he teaches it: “Beat them in everything,” and talk openly about adversity
10. 10

    Privacy and control: authenticity isn’t oversharing (and family isn’t content)

    Jay carefully asks about Gary being more open about his relationship, and Gary uses it to stress that people control what they share. He challenges the idea that public vulnerability equals authenticity and warns against leveraging family—especially children—for attention or deals.

    • •Gary explains he became slightly more public due to a life transition but wants to remain private
    • •He emphasizes: the world is only entitled to what you choose to give it
    • •A warning that what you share invites ongoing commentary and scrutiny
    • •He argues “false vulnerability” can be performative and not authentic
    • •He raises concern about leveraging children for brand deals and urges thoughtful boundaries
11. 11

    Scaling values through IP, then returning to accountability as the antidote to blame

    Gary discusses building intellectual property (including VeeFriends) to scale a message, referencing a storyteller he met and the idea of media serving a mission. He returns repeatedly to accountability—arguing that blaming algorithms or platforms ignores personal agency.

    • •Building intellectual property as a way to scale a positive message
    • •A brief example of mission-driven entertainment discussed through a show’s “brief”
    • •Gary says “lack of accountability is leading to so much unhappiness”
    • •He challenges the idea that algorithms are “hypnosis,” noting people can change behavior (even delete apps)
    • •He compares social media to other temptations where moderation and choices still matter
12. 12

    Choosing optimism through context—and Gary’s “worthy pursuit” of balancing selfish and selfless

    Gary argues that pessimism locks people into feeling powerless, while optimism is a practical choice grounded in historical perspective. The episode closes with Gary naming his most worthy pursuit: refining the balance between self-interest and service to others.

    • •Gary says modern life has enormous potential, but people fixate on the bad
    • •He uses historical context to argue that hardship has always existed
    • •Jay shares a takeaway from reading about surviving the Holocaust to highlight mindset under extreme conditions
    • •Gary describes “practical optimism” and says negativity markets better than positivity
    • •Gary’s “worthy pursuit”: walking a balance beam of equal parts selfish and selfless, refining it over time

Publisher timestamps

1. 0:00Intro
2. 1:39“I do a good job of making my Dad popular.”
3. 6:41If it works for you, you can juggle multiple things
4. 12:33“I’m very happy because I’m very simple.”
5. 18:11We have demonized losing when losing is the best
6. 22:26You’re in control of your life
7. 26:50Leveraging family and personal life lacks authenticity
8. 29:54Lack of accountability is leading to so much unhappiness
9. 34:29What is your most worthy pursuit?

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