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Chris Appleton EXCLUSIVE: Breaking His Silence on His Divorce & Coming Out to His Wife and Kids

Have you ever felt pressure to hide a part of who you are? What helps you feel safe enough to open up? Today, Jay chats with renowned celebrity hairstylist Chris Appleton to share deeply personal parts of his life he’s never shared publicly. Known for creating iconic looks for stars like Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, and Ariana Grande, Chris has built a career around image and transformation. Chris bravely opens up about the journey that shaped him, pulling back the curtain on the private struggles behind his public success. From growing up in a working-class town in England, and discovering his passion for hair was a way to survive, to feel seen, and to express who he really was. As the conversation unfolds, Chris opens up about the darkest night of his life. The moment he nearly ended his life, a breaking point born from decades of shame, fear, and the belief that being true to himself would hurt the people he loved most. What followed was not an overnight transformation, but a long, honest path toward healing. Chris speaks candidly about coming out as gay in his late twenties, the grief of ending a nine-year relationship with the mother of his children, and the fear of disappointing his kids. Jay and Chris explore the power of redefining identity, letting go of what no longer serves us, and embracing the possibility of change at any stage in life. With the support of therapy, self-reflection, and a willingness to confront his pain, Chris began a new chapter, one rooted in alignment between his inner and outer world. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Embrace Your True Identity Without Shame How to Heal After Hiding Your Authentic Self How to Rebuild Private Pain in Public How to Support Your Children Through Major Life Changes How to Start Over When Your Life No Longer Feels Aligned How to Find Peace Through Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance How to Recognize When It’s Time to Let Go and Move On No matter your past, your pain, or how long you’ve carried it, it’s never too late to begin again. The first step is being honest with yourself. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Find help and support If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org . In life-threatening situations, call 911. Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:13 Your Roots Don't Define Who You Can Become 06:19 Is It Safer to Hide Who You Really Are? 10:11 What It Actually Takes to Become the Best 14:32 Finding Yourself After an Identity Crisis 17:27 Letting Go of Shame to Be Your True Self 20:15 Accepting and Embracing Your Gender Identity 22:46 How to Come Out Without Hurting the People You Love 30:21 Choosing Inner Peace Over the Deepest Pain 33:10 Rebuilding Yourself After Grief and Collapse 36:40 Why the Right Guidance Can Change Everything 39:13 Struggling Doesn’t Mean You’re Weak 39:30 Forgiveness: Freeing Yourself from the Past 41:15 Sharing Your Story Could Save Someone Else 44:29 When a New Environment Heals Your Spirit 45:06 The Unexpected Call That Changed Everything 47:29 The Hair Appointment That Almost Ended His Career 52:23 How to Build Authentic Relationships in Your Industry 55:33 You Don’t Owe the Public an Explanation 59:09 Why Love Is Always Worth the Risk 01:01:48 Give Yourself Permission to Walk Away 01:05:35 How to Protect Your Peace in a Loud World 01:10:35 What Do You Really See in the Mirror? 01:12:28 Being the Father You Always Needed 01:19:01 Chris on Final Five Episode Resources: https://www.instagram.com/chrisappleton1 https://www.youtube.com/c/ChrisAppleton https://www.tiktok.com/@chrisappletonhair?lang=en https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty https://www.facebook.com/jayshetty/ https://x.com/jayshetty https://www.linkedin.com/in/shettyjay/ https://www.youtube.com/@JayShettyPodcast http://jayshetty.me

Chris AppletonguestJay Shettyhost
Aug 5, 20251h 23mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Chris Appleton on identity, shame, resilience, and rebuilding after collapse

  1. Appleton describes growing up working-class in the UK, feeling different early, and learning to mask himself due to bullying, which later triggered an identity crisis around sexuality and belonging.
  2. He explains how shame and fear—especially around protecting his children from stigma—culminated in a suicide attempt that became a turning point toward surrendering to his truth and choosing to live authentically.
  3. He outlines what it took to become an elite hairstylist: obsessive craft mastery, constant learning, resilience through rejection, and consistency rather than a single “big break.”
  4. He recounts moving to LA with minimal resources, nearly failing early on, and seizing a pivotal opportunity (Christina Aguilera on The Voice) by trusting his instincts and experience under pressure.
  5. Appleton discusses navigating public scrutiny during a highly visible relationship and divorce, emphasizing that endings can still be meaningful, and that inner peace, boundaries, and alignment matter more than public explanations.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Masking to survive can become self-abandonment.

Appleton learned to police his voice, mannerisms, and interests to avoid bullying, and later had to “unpick” which parts of him were authentic versus constructed for others.

Shame thrives in silence and can turn lethal.

He describes believing his children would be better off with a dead dad than a gay dad, illustrating how internalized stigma can distort judgment and intensify risk.

Coming out affects a whole system, not just one person.

Appleton emphasizes letting loved ones process their own grief—partner, children, family—rather than trying to control their emotions or rush their acceptance.

A turning point isn’t a finish line; it starts the work.

After the hospital, he still faced cycles of good and bad days, grief for his former identity, and ongoing rebuilding through therapy and daily processing.

Being “the best” is built through consistent micro-moves.

He credits relentless practice, learning every hair domain (salon, editorial, fashion), analyzing failures, and bouncing back from “nos,” not a single lucky break.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

I felt like it would be better for them to have a dad that was dead than a dad that was gay.

— Chris Appleton

The brain is such a powerful tool, and shame is such a powerful tool.

— Chris Appleton

Because from the age of eight to the age of twenty-seven, I'd held my breath, and I could finally exhale.

— Chris Appleton

Just because it's not forever doesn't mean it didn't mean something.

— Chris Appleton

I would rather love and fall than to never feel anything at all.

— Chris Appleton

Childhood conditioning, bullying, and maskingShame, secrecy, and identity suppressionComing out to partner and childrenSuicidality and the “surrender” turning pointTherapy, grief, and rebuilding the selfCraft mastery, resilience, and career consistencyPublic life, divorce, boundaries, and inner alignment

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