"DO THIS To Find Your TRUE PURPOSE & Achieve ANY GOAL In Life" | Jennifer Lopez & Jay Shetty

Jay Shetty 0:00 Hello everyone, and welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Today's guest is none other than the incredibly talented, immeasurably kind Renaissance woman herself, Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer has managed to not only be a cultural touchstone for more than 25 years, but has reached invaluable success while staying so authentic to who she is. J.Lo just launched her skincare line, JLo Beauty, in January, and she performed at the inauguration for President Biden. So, as expected, it's already been a busy year for her. I recently had the opportunity to speak with Jennifer as part of Coach's new YouTube series, Coach Conversations, and now I'm so excited to share our talk with you all in full.

Jennifer Lopez 0:54 You really did know a song. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 0:56 Of course we know. [laughs]

Jennifer Lopez 0:57 They should have a whole school for that.

Jay Shetty 0:59 That is a great question that my wife and my mom still ask me every single day. Hey, Jennifer, it's so good to see you.

Jennifer Lopez 1:05 Hi, Jay. Gi- Let me give you a hug. [laughs] I think you have to strive to be the best.

Jay Shetty 1:10 Yeah.

Jennifer Lopez 1:10 I think that's an important key. But you don't have to be the best to have success.

Jay Shetty 1:16 Welcome everyone to Coach Conversations, a monthly YouTube series where we get together to talk about the things that truly impact our minds, our hearts, and our lives. And today's theme is finding your purpose, leading with gratitude, and as the new Coach campaign, Coach It Forward, encourages telling the people in our lives how they've moved our world forward. Now, who better to do this with than you, Jennifer? Someone who found her calling so early in life, someone who's dedicated her life to pursuing her dreams, and done it with so much authenticity. And what can I say? You've been a cultural touchstone for the past 25 years. You're a member of the Coach family. And what I'm most inspired by, and what I want to dive deepest into today, is how purpose drives everything you do.

Jennifer Lopez 2:07 I'm ready. Let's go. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 2:09 I'm fascinated to know how you define your calling and purpose today, and why you think it's important to define it.

Jennifer Lopez 2:17 Wow. That's, you know, I, e- I went like that when you asked the question because it's, it's such a, a still such a big question for me, even though I, I kinda know what I do for a living and what my life is and the things that drive me. For me, today in January 2021, I think my calling is to empower, inspire, and entertain. Those are the things that I do. And in entertaining, I kind of hope I'm always empowering and inspiring people to be the best at whatever

Jennifer Lopez 2:47 they want to do. You know, I went and, uh, before Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, um, I, I got the, the privilege to meet her in her chambers while I was on tour. And I said to her, I said, "What can I do to help? Like, it seems like the world is so crazy right now." And she said, uh, "Exactly what you're doing. Every person just has to do what they do best and be the best that they can be, and in that, they will help the world."

Jay Shetty 3:14 What a perfect answer. Thank you so much for sharing that, by the way.

Jennifer Lopez 3:17 Since we're talking about purpose this month, and that's the, the topic, tell me a bit more about you. What exactly does a, a purpose coach do?

Jay Shetty 3:25 That is a great question that my wife and my mom still ask me every single day. A purpose coach helps people figure out how they can have the deepest and biggest impact on people's lives using their gifts. And I believe there's someone out there right now, Jennifer, who's going to cure a disease, and they don't even know it yet. There's someone out there who's going to inspire millions of people, and they don't even know it yet. And if I can play even a tiny role in helping them get closer to that, then that's what I'm trying to dedicate my life to.

Jennifer Lopez 3:57 Yeah. That, that's amazing. I love that. That's, like, a perfect answer. But you, you weren't always a purpose coach. You had, you had kind of a second act.

Jay Shetty 4:04 Yeah.

Jennifer Lopez 4:04 You know, I did what we call Second Act, so I'm always about, we, we, we wrote that movie with this whole idea in mind of, like, you can do many things. So how did, how did you get to where you are today?

Jay Shetty 4:12 I thought I was gonna be in business because it was the safe option, and then I completely went onto the other side and rebelled against it and went and lived as a monk. And then [laughs] I came back to the real world three years on where I found more stability back in the world of management and business. And then I found that that wasn't my true calling. What drew me to the purpose work is that I saw a lot of pain in humanity. And the source of that pain was a lack of education. People were just never given the tools. So if you think about it, we have a class for biology, but we don't have a class for the heart or emotions. We have a class for math-

Jennifer Lopez 4:53 They should have a whole school for that

Jay Shetty 4:54 ... but we don't have a class for the mind.

Jennifer Lopez 4:55 Yeah, they have a whole school for that.

Jay Shetty 4:56 Literally, like-

Jennifer Lopez 4:57 I always say why don't they teach kids from very young to love themselves? I'm, I'm with you on that. That's a-

Jay Shetty 5:02 Yeah

Jennifer Lopez 5:02 ... you should start that school. Or a course-

Jay Shetty 5:04 Well, we should do it

Jennifer Lopez 5:04 ... or something. I remember when I was, like, going through therapy at the beginning, you know, of, you know, kind of, like, in my late 30s or whatever, and it was, uh, there was a lot of talk about loving yourself and I was like, "I love myself." But obviously I was doing all these things in, like, my personal relationships-

Jay Shetty 5:20 Mm-hmm

Jennifer Lopez 5:20 ... that w- didn't seem like I was loving myself, but ... So I didn't even understand the concept of it. And it took time, and it's a journey, and it's still a journey for me.

Jay Shetty 5:28 How do you feel that, you know, people are struggling obviously, as you know, as, as we're aware. How do, do you feel like finding your calling and purpose happens at difficult times and at tough times? Is that the right time to open your mind and heart up to that? Is there ever a right time?

Jennifer Lopez 5:45 You know, this is such a tough moment. It's a very tough moment. And, uh, and, and the whole year has been tough. But many of us, if we're lucky, one of the blessings of 2020 was that we had a moment of pause. There was a moment where we could just stop for a second and we could Look inward. Even if it was just taking a few moments every day to, to take stock in those things, and to prioritize what was really important in our lives, our family, our kids, you know? And, and not only see what you want, but more importantly, who you wanna be when it all comes back around.

Jay Shetty 6:20 It's a great insight, great advice.

Jennifer Lopez 6:22 Let's talk more about the words calling and purpose. All right? Because that's what this month is about. How would you define them? It's not the same thing as, uh, as career, for example.

Jay Shetty 6:32 Yeah. I, I think there's a difference between a calling and a career, because a career feels like something you're always pushing. Like, you're like pushing it, trying to make it work, and a calling feels like something that's pulling you closer to it. Like, it feels like you're being pulled towards it. And so, but I, I have to say that I do feel careers can evolve into callings. And so I often find that when people just start on their career, and rather than feeling like, "Oh my gosh, my calling's so far away," or, "My purpose is so far away," let me just learn what I can from this, because it's going to be useful later. There's gonna be some part of it that's actually powerful for my future. And so I think that's how they connect and overlap.

Jennifer Lopez 7:13 Yeah, and I think when you, when you take on any job or anything that you have to do, even if, if it's like, "Well, this doesn't feel right," w- if you put your heart and soul into it and you do the best you can do, you're gonna get-

Jay Shetty 7:24 Yeah

Jennifer Lopez 7:24 ... something out of it. It's gonna lead to something else. And when you're trying to be, like I said, you have to try to be the greatest of all time. Like, you have to aim for that, and that's what I am. You w- and when you're aiming for that, all of a sudden as an actor, you're like, when you're aiming to be the best actor you can, you realize that you have to learn what it is to direct. You have to learn what it is to produce. You have to understand what it is to be the set designer, to be... All, 'cause all of it works together, and you wind up, you know, growing and growing and evolving and evolving, just because you're open to being the greatest in the job that you have right there.

Jay Shetty 7:57 It seems like even in your new single In The Morning, you speak to metamorphosis, and it seems like what I'm hearing from you today is that everything's highly intentional. You're picking things because they seem deeply purposeful. Have you always been like that? Has that always been the way you've approached everything in life, where it feels deeply intentional?

Jennifer Lopez 8:19 Yeah. I think because, you know, I started as a dancer, and I wasn't always the best dancer. I was a great dancer, but I wasn't the best dancer, you know? And everybody's so competitive in these fields, right? But I knew that every, from the beginning because of that, I, I put something extra into it. I put my heart into it. I put my soul into it, into each move. There was a, a, a purpose behind it. Like, everything had to speak something, and I learned that early on when I was, when I was dancing from when I was very young, that I had to, for it to affect people, since I couldn't kick my leg the highest, 'cause I couldn't jump and make the split the highest, that I had to have something else that was connecting, because that at the end of the day doesn't really matter. What I realized what matters was actually, you know, connecting in a way and putting a passion into each move and making everything mean something. Everything I do, I want it to have a, a purpose to it. I, I really want to remind people to own their power always. You know, morning to evening. It's not, it's not just when you're in the spotlight. It's like being your best self at every moment, you know, even when the cameras are not on.

Jay Shetty 9:32 I think I love hearing you say that you weren't, you didn't think that you were the best dancer, because I think there's a lot of people just hearing that and going, "Oh."

Jennifer Lopez 9:41 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 9:41 You know, like, just taking the pressure off of, like, thinking that you have to have thought you were the best from that point on. So I, I think that's-

Jennifer Lopez 9:48 I think you have to strive to be the best. I think that's-

Jay Shetty 9:51 Yeah

Jennifer Lopez 9:51 ... an important key. But you don't have to be the best to, to have success, to have... Y- you just have to not give up. You have to keep going. You have to always just know that you have something special to offer, but you have to stri- I, I think striving to be the best is, is part of the secret.

Jay Shetty 10:12 When I've watched you, whether I've been watching your interviews or your performances, I always feel like it's more than entertainment. It's, it's more about empowerment. Tell me about what's going on in your mind and what you want people to experience when you ask them to dream on.

Jennifer Lopez 10:28 My mantra for this year, one of them, 'cause I always have many, I always have many, is to dream on. I really believe 2021 can bring change a- and healing, and my dream is that, you know, together this year, we can make a more unified, more loving, more accepting, more understanding world. I always want to inspire, inspire different things in people. And whether it's to make them laugh or cry, affect them in some way. And in these times, um, where all of us can feel lost, I, I wanted to give people some hope and some direction.

Jay Shetty 11:02 And I'm interested to hear about how you go there w- in your creative process, because to be able to do that, it means you're having to go through things yourself. You're having to feel things.

Jennifer Lopez 11:14 Yeah. The creative process for me, especially in building a show or a performance, is, is really a, a many layered, you know, process for me. I don't think anything has an impact if you're not 100% in it and behind it. So when I'm creating something, I, I do it because I love it, and I love the moment to moment connection that I get with, with the audience, whether through a song or a movie or a live performance. I, I want it to be successful, of course, and I wanna do my best, but I believe that, that things that resonate with me will resonate with other people. And when you make choices that way, yeah, there's always some risks involved. Some people are gonna love it, some people are gonna hate it. Y- whatever. But I, I don't let that worry kind of overcome me, you know? Uh, is this the right choice, or should I be more cautious? 'Cause I wanna feel passionate about the things I create, and I, and I think that that, that shows in my work.

Jay Shetty 12:07 Yeah. One of, one of the things that really resonated with me was when on the last day of 2020 you l- used the launch of your J.Lo Beauty brand to tell people to literally wash away-

Jennifer Lopez 12:18 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:19 ... 2020, like ceremoniously, right? Like- And-

Jennifer Lopez 12:23 I feel like everybody needed to do that. Go ahead, I'm sorry.

Jay Shetty 12:25 I, I agree with you. Everyone needed to do that. What do you think you were washing away in 2020, or what were you letting go of in 2020?

Jennifer Lopez 12:34 With the launch, because it was on January 1st, and because it was this symbolic kind of new beginning of a new year, that the idea of washing away the year before, which was 2020, which was a year we all wanted to wash away, it, it was, it was a chance to kind of wash away some of the pain, some of the uncertainty, some of the fear that we've all been experiencing this year. It was a chance to just wash away the energy of that year and really start fresh, and know that, that, that that's possible. But we, as a collective, have experienced a lot of trauma over the past year, physical, emotional, psychological. Is, is there such a thing, do you think, as universal healing? How do we move forward with purpose as, you know, because we're all emotional works in progress.

Jay Shetty 13:27 I love that. I'm so glad you asked me that question. There's a, there's a beautiful thing I read from a writer called Russell Barkley, and in it he says that, "People who need the most love often ask for it in the most unloving ways." And, and, and I thought about that, I think about that a lot, about how every cry for attention is a cry for love. Every cry for validation is a cry for love. Every act of pain or hurt to someone in, in one way or another-

Jennifer Lopez 13:59 But al-

Jay Shetty 13:59 ... is a deep cry for love. Go ahead

Jennifer Lopez 14:00 Right. But also, like, it's just not a cry. Sometimes it's, like, that person who's really angry. The person who's, like, really angry. You're like, "You just-

Jay Shetty 14:07 Yeah

Jennifer Lopez 14:08 ... need a hug." Like, you... Give, let me give you a hug right now. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 14:10 Yeah.

Jennifer Lopez 14:10 Like, you can just tell. Like-

Jay Shetty 14:12 Okay, that's what I mean. Yeah.

Jennifer Lopez 14:13 Yeah, it, it is exactly that. No, I know exactly what you mean.

Jay Shetty 14:15 I, I find that a lot of people right now feel this pressure to find their purpose. When someone's feeling pressure, like, if someone's sitting there and they're going, "Oh, gosh, I just don't know what my purpose is. I feel so far away from it," how do you deal with that pressure of redefining your purpose and evolving?

Jennifer Lopez 14:32 People are always like, "Oh, she reinvents herself." Like, there's a reinvention. I don't like that word. I'm not reinventing-

Jay Shetty 14:36 Yeah

Jennifer Lopez 14:36 ... or trying to be something different, or trying to trick people into, like, something new. It's j- it's an evolving, right? So when you're talking about a calling or purpose, there, there's, there's a lot of pressure around it, right? The most important thing is that you have to listen to yourself an- and the words that you tell yourself. Because what you say and what you think, and I tell this to my kids all the time, becomes your reality. If you're telling yourself you're, you know, "I'm gonna be this," or, "I'm gonna be that," or you're telling yourself, "I'm a [censored] loser," then you'll be a [censored] loser. Whatever it is, you tell yourself that and it will manifest. I really believe that we create our lives, again, not just with our actions and the things we do, but the things we think and the self-talk that we give. Being in this business where people are always trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, you really have to have a strong sense of self and gut and instinct, and follow that.

Jay Shetty 15:27 We talked about listening to the inner voice, but we also have to listen to voices around us, surrounding ourself with the right mentors. Tell us about what Coach It Forward means to you.

Jennifer Lopez 15:38 I mean, it's about really telling people in your life, taking the time to let the people in your life know that they've impacted your life. That, to me, i- is such a beautiful idea, and why I love being associated and working with them. Because they're always thinking about kind of more, just not, you know, the, the brand itself, but what the brand stands for and its social good. And, uh, and I love that, and I love this idea of Coach It Forward. I mean, we all know what pay it forward means. It's like you have a blessing and you somehow pay it forward selflessly to somebody else, and I love that idea. But I also love the idea of Coach It Forward, which is just, you know, simple as picking up the phone and calling somebody and say, and saying, "You make my every day better." Like, I would say who I talk to every day, maybe multiple times a day, is my producing partner, one of my very best friends, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, and she just pumps me up every day. She just re- you know, she goes, "I feel like I have to remind you all the time because you're so hard on yourself and you're such a perfectionist. I, I wanna remind you that you're doing great."

Jay Shetty 16:43 Yes.

Jennifer Lopez 16:43 "It's good." You know, 'cause I'm always like, "Oh, gotta do this, I didn't do that," blah, blah, blah. "You're, you're a good mom. You're a good," [laughs] you know, "person," you know? [laughs] Like, and it's important to have people like that in your life. And so I'm saying to Elaine right now, I love you and I love what you bring to my life, and, um, everything about you and how you make me feel is priceless to me in my life.

Jay Shetty 17:05 I love that. That's, that's beautiful to hear, and I'm so glad that that gratitude was personalized and specific. Like, that's when it works. Like, studies show that when you're actually specific about gratitude, and it's so personal... And I could see when you were talking about them, it was just pouring out from your heart. Like, that's when gratitude is beautifully received and given. Like, you feel as j- as much joy giving gratitude as the person feels receiving it. But Jennifer, thank you so much for your time today, and to join me in this first-ever episode of Coach Conversations. I feel like we were able to dive so deeply into purpose and calling, but I want to end with a quick-fire round of fill in the blanks. I'm gonna ask you a question, then you're gonna ask me a question. My favorite affirmation is?

Jennifer Lopez 17:52 I am open and receptive to all the goodness and abundance that the universe has to offer.

Jay Shetty 17:57 Oh, I love that one. That's beautiful.

Jennifer Lopez 17:58 Yours.

Jay Shetty 17:58 Okay.

Jennifer Lopez 17:59 My biggest cheerleader is?

Jay Shetty 18:01 My mom. [laughs] My, my sister, my wife probably. I'd have to go with family. So yours, my favorite dance move is?

Jennifer Lopez 18:07 I don't have a favorite dance move. I think the thing that I'm probably known for these days is maybe the booty shake. [laughs] Okay, um, yours.

Jay Shetty 18:15 Okay.

Jennifer Lopez 18:15 The first thing I do in the morning is?

Jay Shetty 18:17 Uh, avoid looking at my phone.

Jennifer Lopez 18:20 Oh, yeah. That's a good one.

Jay Shetty 18:22 Okay, this is for you. I, I laugh most when?

Jennifer Lopez 18:25 When I'm with my mother. Yeah, she makes-

Jay Shetty 18:27 That's beautiful

Jennifer Lopez 18:27 ... she literally makes me laugh out loud. Okay, um, for you, my favorite-

Jay Shetty 18:33 Yeah

Jennifer Lopez 18:33 ... J.Lo song is?

Jay Shetty 18:35 Oh, that's a tough one. I'd have to say the one I played the most is I'm Gonna Be Alright. I think that has to be-

Jennifer Lopez 18:41 Oh, wow

Jay Shetty 18:42 ... my, that has to be my favorite song.

Jennifer Lopez 18:44 I wrote that song. Oh, my God.

Jay Shetty 18:45 I just think-

Jennifer Lopez 18:46 Yeah, I love that song too.

Jay Shetty 18:47 I think the mes- the messaging, the, the meaning behind it, still to this day, I could put it on any time, in the car, at the gym, when I'm walking around, and, and that song is like, it gets me in the zone. So-

Jennifer Lopez 18:58 Thank you

Jay Shetty 18:58 ... yeah, I'm gonna Be Alright.

Jennifer Lopez 18:59 Thank you. I love that. That is so... Y- you're a real, you really did know a song. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 19:04 Last question, my calling in one word is?

Jennifer Lopez 19:08 Uh, it's, it's too hard, one word.

Jay Shetty 19:11 Okay, one sentence. One sentence.

Jennifer Lopez 19:12 One sentence. Okay. My calling in one sentence is, like I said, it's to empower, inspire, entertain, and put out into the world a message of love.

Jay Shetty 19:23 Thank you to everyone who's been watching this. And I'm so honestly deeply grateful for this time we got to spend together, and-

Jennifer Lopez 19:28 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 19:29 ... I'm excited to see if we can start a school together, uh, to, to help people find those emotional, uh, skills and e- emotional abilities. But everyone who's been watching today, make sure you subscribe, uh, make sure you share this conversation, and make sure you share the insights and the inspiration from Jennifer that really resonated and stuck with you. Because when you pass it on, when you pay it forward, when you coach it forward, uh, it allows you to build meaningful relationships with everyone in your life. Thank you so much for watching, and a big thank you to Jennifer-

Jennifer Lopez 19:57 Thank you, guys. Thank you

Jay Shetty 19:57 ... uh, for being here with us. If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here. I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book, Think Like a Monk, from thinklikeamonkbook.com. Check below in the description to make sure you order today.