Jay Shetty PodcastEMILIE KISER EXCLUSIVE: The Loss That Changed Her Forever
CHAPTERS
- 0:03 – 0:27
Emilie’s call that shattered everything
Emilie recounts the moment her husband called to say their son Trigg had fallen into the pool and wasn’t breathing. The chapter sets the emotional stakes and frames the conversation around grief, shock, and survival.
- •The phone call that changed their lives instantly
- •The indescribable nature of child loss
- •Feeling like they wouldn’t make it through the early aftermath
- 0:27 – 3:04
Why Emilie chose to speak now—purpose, boundaries, and healing
Jay welcomes Emilie and asks how she’s doing today and what motivated her to come on the show. Emilie explains she wanted a meaningful, in-depth conversation that could support healing and spread awareness.
- •Nervousness and gratitude entering the conversation
- •Her current day-to-day: caring for Teddy, workouts, small intentions
- •Wanting an appropriate space to discuss what happened with depth and care
- 3:04 – 5:45
Life and community before the tragedy: building an outlet online
Emilie describes why she started sharing her life on social media and what it provided during early motherhood. She reflects on the warmth of her community and how connection fueled her routine and sense of self.
- •Starting social media as an outlet and source of connection
- •Content roots: day-in-the-life, cleaning, and morning vlogs
- •Motherhood shifting identity and the need for a personal purpose
- •Feeling supported by a kind community
- 5:45 – 7:36
What happened in May: the night Trigg drowned and the week that followed
Emilie shares the timeline: she was five weeks postpartum, went to dinner, and received the call from her husband. She describes rushing to the hospital and how Trigg passed away about a week later.
- •Five weeks postpartum and briefly stepping out to dinner
- •Hearing panic and confusion in her husband’s voice
- •Hospital vigil and life changing overnight
- •Trigg’s death one week later
- 7:36 – 12:28
The unseen weight of grief: rumination, decisions, and time distortion
They discuss what no one sees—how grief consumes the mind with ‘what ifs’ and relentless replaying. Emilie explains the unbearable pain, the feeling of warped time, and the impossible decisions families face in crisis.
- •Fight-or-flight and living minute by minute
- •Preventability intensifying guilt and hindsight spirals
- •Making major medical and family decisions under extreme stress
- •The loneliness of pain others can’t fully understand
- 12:28 – 16:26
When tragedy goes public: media intrusion, speculation, and PTSD triggers
Emilie explains how the news became public while they were still trying to understand what had happened. She describes invasive attention—news crews, helicopters, people filming—and how those experiences left lingering trauma responses.
- •Public discovery through news presence and online sleuthing
- •Being mentally absent from public reaction while in crisis
- •Feeling invaded by helicopters, drive-bys, and constant coverage
- •Long-term nervous system impact and PTSD-like triggers
- 16:26 – 18:47
Support vs. judgment online: returning for normalcy and protecting privacy
Emilie reflects on the overwhelming support she received when she returned online, alongside guilt for continuing life without Trigg. She explains why she tightened boundaries—no longer sharing her children—and why she’d rather be criticized for sharing ‘too little’ than expose her deepest grief.
- •Craving routine and normalcy as a grief survival tool
- •Unexpected waves of support—and feeling undeserving of it
- •New boundaries: not sharing Teddy or posting Trigg
- •Learning the public doesn’t truly know her real life
- 18:47 – 32:08
Grief isn’t stages—it’s coexistence: joy, sadness, guilt, and love at once
Emilie challenges the idea of grief having a finish line or predictable stages, sharing what she learned from specialists. She describes grief as permanent, with emotions that coexist rather than resolve, and explains how that reframed her healing.
- •Rejecting the “finish line” myth of grief
- •Why the ‘stages of grief’ model didn’t fit child loss
- •Coexistence: joy and devastation at the same time
- •Tools from professionals to make pain more manageable
- 32:08 – 35:53
Care and treatment that helped: therapy, couples work, and the care farm
Emilie outlines the practical support systems that helped them survive early weeks—disconnecting from phones, leaning on family, and seeking specialized grief professionals. She describes animal-assisted therapy at a care farm and ongoing individual and couples counseling.
- •Two-week point: beginning structured grief support
- •Animal therapy and clinician-guided tools at a care farm
- •Specialized grief therapy and weekly couples counseling
- •Family as the backbone when basic functioning was impossible
- 35:53 – 37:59
Living day-by-day: redefining “good” and “bad” days while parenting
Emilie explains she doesn’t label days as good or bad; she measures grief intensity against her capacity to manage it. She shares how parenting Teddy brings real joy while she simultaneously feels emptiness and loss.
- •Minute-by-minute living and lowered expectations
- •Two-scale model: grief level vs. coping capacity
- •“Good and bad moments,” not good or bad days
- •Parenting with simultaneous love, joy, sadness, and fear
- 37:59 – 44:54
Working while grieving: why social media can’t show the whole truth
Emilie addresses misconceptions that she’s ‘fine’ because she can show up online. She explains content creation as both work and distraction, and why she protects the most painful parts of her experience for trusted loved ones and professionals.
- •Online presence is a job with expectations and performance
- •Appearing okay doesn’t reflect the full day or internal reality
- •Choosing privacy over public processing of trauma
- •Accepting misunderstanding while refusing to overexpose grief
- 44:54 – 51:04
Grieving as a couple: anger, empathy, and learning to forgive
Emilie shares the complexity of grieving alongside her husband Brady, including early anger and doubts about forgiveness. She describes the empathy shift—recognizing it could have happened to her—and the tools that help them grieve together while allowing separate emotional rhythms.
- •Early rage and the thought: “Can I ever forgive?”
- •Perspective shift: it could have happened to either parent
- •Letting emotions exist without trying to ‘fix’ each other
- •Therapy tools to grieve together and separately with respect
- 51:04 – 54:43
Keeping Trigg present: talking about him, photos at home, and what to say
Emilie explains why she wants Trigg spoken about openly so Teddy grows up knowing his brother. She also shares what grieving parents find hurtful versus comforting—rejecting platitudes and valuing simple acknowledgment of pain and injustice.
- •Daily conversations so Trigg is never avoided or forgotten
- •Filling the home with photos to keep his presence visible
- •Hurtful phrases: “He’s in a better place” / “It was meant to be”
- •Helpful support: sincere sorrow, validation, and honoring the child’s place at home
- 54:43 – 1:02:31
Turning loss into prevention: pool safety, ISR, and layered barriers
Emilie closes with a direct call to action: drowning is preventable and families should add multiple layers of protection. She recommends pool fencing, alarms, sensors, and early survival swim training (ISR), emphasizing that lapses happen and systems must anticipate them.
- •Clear prevention message: add barriers, don’t rely on vigilance alone
- •Recommendations: pool fence, door alarms, sensors, automatic closers
- •ISR explained: survival swim skills and floating techniques
- •Motivation through awareness: “It can happen to you”
