Jay Shetty PodcastEMILIE KISER EXCLUSIVE: The Loss That Changed Her Forever
CHAPTERS
Emilie’s intention for speaking now: grief, healing, and awareness
Jay welcomes Emilie Kiser and asks how she’s doing and what daily life looks like right now. Emilie shares that she’s nervous but wants this conversation to be an appropriate, in-depth place to talk about Trigg, their loss, and how to help others through awareness.
Life before the tragedy: building community and sharing motherhood online
Emilie reflects on starting social media as an outlet while living in Utah and adjusting to motherhood. She explains how creating content connected her with other moms and provided purpose and motivation in daily life.
How boundaries changed after loss: privacy, parenting, and visibility
The tragedy reshaped Emilie’s relationship with sharing online. She explains new boundaries—especially around her children—and how public exposure forced her to reassess what strangers can and can’t truly know.
The night everything changed: Trigg’s drowning and the week in hospital
Emilie recounts receiving a call from her husband while out to dinner five weeks postpartum: Trigg had fallen into the pool and wasn’t breathing. She describes rushing to the hospital, living in fight-or-flight, and Trigg passing about a week later.
The unseen reality of child loss: unbearable pain, rumination, and time distortion
Emilie describes grief that can’t be fully understood from the outside, even by empathetic people. She talks about relentless “what if” thoughts, spiraling hindsight, and how trauma reshapes perception of time and self.
When tragedy becomes public: media intrusion, speculation, and PTSD triggers
Emilie explains how the news became public before her family even had details, fueled by media presence and online sleuthing. She describes the invasiveness—cars, helicopters, people filming—and lingering PTSD-like responses to those cues.
Support vs. judgment online: learning to withstand commentary and assumptions
Returning online brought unexpected support but also harsh judgment and blame. Emilie shares that criticism rarely hurts more than her own self-blame, and she’s learned to anchor in the people who truly know her heart.
No satisfying answers: accepting reality, accountability, and the cruelty of “why”
Emilie explains there’s no comforting explanation for why this happened—only the painful reality of missed precautions. She shares how long it took to acknowledge the cause, and why full “acceptance” may never come.
Redefining grief: no stages, no finish line—only coexistence
Emilie challenges the common “stages of grief” framework and describes grief as permanent, nonlinear, and ever-present. She emphasizes that joy and sadness can exist at the same time, and that expecting an endpoint can be harmful.
Tools that helped: specialized therapy, couples counseling, and ‘care farm’ support
Emilie shares the professional support that helped her survive the early weeks, including specialized grief therapy and couples counseling. She describes visiting a care farm with animal therapy and licensed clinicians focused on practical coping tools, not “fixing” grief.
Living moment to moment: managing grief scales and returning to routine
Emilie explains she doesn’t label days as good or bad—only moments. She shares a framework of intensity of grief versus ability to manage it, and how movement and small routines became essential when functioning felt impossible.
Working while grieving: boundaries, misperceptions, and protecting the deepest pain
Returning to work offered a sense of normalcy, but also brought misunderstandings—people mistaking public composure for being ‘over it.’ Emilie emphasizes that social media is curated and that she chooses to share less to protect herself and her family.
Parenting after loss: fear, control, and the promise that kept her going
Emilie describes how losing Trigg changed her sense of safety and competence as a parent. She shares the promise she made to Trigg to care for Teddy, and how she’s learning to balance vigilance with the truth that not everything is controllable.
Grieving as a couple: anger, empathy, and learning to forgive
Emilie opens up about the complexity of grieving alongside Brady, including anger and doubt early on. Therapy, mutual emotional permission, and the realization that either parent could have been in the same position helped her move toward empathy and forgiveness.
Keeping Trigg present: talking about him, honoring memory, and what to say to grieving parents
Emilie shares her commitment to ensuring Trigg is never avoided or forgotten in their family—especially for Teddy. She explains which phrases feel painful to hear and what support actually helps, emphasizing presence, sorrow, and acknowledgment of what was lost.
Turning loss into prevention: pool safety barriers, ISR, and making tragedy less likely for others
Emilie closes with a direct call for prevention: drowning is a leading cause of death for young children, and layered barriers matter because perfect supervision isn’t realistic. She recommends pool fences over nets, door alarms, sensors, and ISR survival swim training to buy time in an emergency.
