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Jay Shetty PodcastGive Me 37 Minutes... I'll Save You 20+ Years Of A Wasted Life | Ed Mylett
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CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 2:06
You're One Decision Away: The Great Lie of Distance
Jay Shetty opens with Thomas Edison's quote and the idea of "the power of one more." The guest argues the vision isn't the problem, but our depth perception: we think our goals are further away than they are, and that distance shapes our patterns.
- •Edison quote: when you feel you've exhausted all options, you haven't
- •Most people have a vision; the issue is depth perception
- •You may be one relationship, meeting, or conversation from changing your trajectory
- •Behaviors built on the belief that a goal is far away keep it far away
- 2:06 – 3:58
Jay's Surgery Recovery and the Reticular Activating System
Jay describes recovering from a double hernia surgery and missing the 1% daily progress because he fixated on how far he was from full healing. The guest links this to the reticular activating system, which filters in opportunities when you expect they exist.
- •Jay woke each day expecting to be healed and felt healing was far away
- •Focusing on the distance made him miss 1% daily improvements
- •The reticular activating system filters relevant people and opportunities into awareness
- •Sensory acuity example: hearing your own name in a loud room
- 3:58 – 5:32
His Father's "One More Time" and Sobriety
The guest tells how his alcoholic father pulled over on the way to a baseball game and said he'd try to get sober "one more time," driven by love for his son. His father stayed sober by stacking one more day at a time for the rest of his life.
- •His father cried and promised to try sobriety one more time
- •He said his son deserved a father he could be proud of
- •Every great thing is one-away but also born from love
- •His father stacked one-more days for the rest of his life
- 5:32 – 8:38
Pain Into Purpose: What Qualifies You to Help
The guest argues the things we're ashamed of qualify us to help others, noting the stranger who helped his father had himself been an addict. Jay calls it the best explanation of how pain turns into purpose, and the guest says growth lets us help those who used to be like us.
- •We are most qualified to help the person we used to be
- •A recovering addict helped his father get sober
- •Temporary pain leads to meeting another version of yourself
- •Whatever you once didn't know, you can now help others with
- 8:38 – 10:11
Why It Fails: Attachment to Outcome and Living From Memory
Jay asks why people give up when the first day of trying "one more" doesn't bring results. The guest says to separate from outcome during execution and explains that 95% operate from history and memory while 5% operate from vision and imagination.
- •People quit because they're attached to the outcome
- •Goals are good, but in execution you should be present
- •Most people operate from history and memory; a few from vision and imagination
- •Children are happier because they have no history to limit them
- 10:11 – 12:00
Choose Friends Who Ask What You're Creating, Not What You Remember
The guest suggests judging the people around you by whether they pull you into memory or toward vision. Jay adds that nostalgia warps the past, and both stress creating a new future rather than recreating the old one.
- •Friends who constantly say "remember when" keep you in memory
- •Successful friends talk about now and where they're going
- •Dwelling on history is a formula for misery and low creativity
- •Jay notes studies show nostalgia makes the past seem better than it was
- 12:00 – 16:04
Kobe Bryant, Love in the Present, and the Power of One Day
Jay shares Vanessa Bryant's story about why Kobe played through injury for one fan who might only see him once. The guest then recounts his father's cancer fight, his father's line about the power of one day, and watching Kobe with his daughters, which led him to add an extra hug each day.
- •Kobe played for the one person who may only get to see him that day
- •The guest says love for something exists in the present moment, not just the past
- •His father endured eight years of treatment for more days with family
- •"You only understand the power of one day when you're threatened with never having another one"
- •The guest adds one extra hug for his daughter every day
- 16:04 – 17:21
Stop Getting Around to Life; Rethinking Time
The guest says people assume they will get around to happiness, dreams and broken relationships later, until no days remain. He says we still measure time like it's 1900 and teaches a way to get 21 days a week.
- •People think everyone else will die and put off happiness and dreams
- •No one knows how many days remain, only that there's an end
- •Why spend the days ahead looking at the past?
- •We measure time as in 1900 despite modern speed of communication
- 17:21 – 19:45
Ed's Current "One More": Peace and Emotional Home
Asked about his own current one more, the guest names peace, adding an extra meditation each day. He argues we really want how outcomes will make us feel and describes an "emotional home" of habitual emotions he wants to shift toward peace and joy.
- •He mentions a TV show but says his one more is peace
- •He added an extra meditation daily after Jay introduced his family to it
- •Standards matter more than goals
- •People really want the feeling the goal brings
- •Our emotional home is the few emotions we regularly experience
- 19:45 – 23:39
Almost Quitting: "Just Don't Quit for One More Day"
The guest describes the one more that made him who he is: when his first business collapsed, he lost his house, and utilities were cut off. His father told him not to quit for one more day, and about 30 days later he no longer wanted to quit. Jay says it's a lifestyle, not just a business tactic.
- •He does one more rep, one more minute, one more contact
- •His business crashed; the power and water were cut off and he felt ashamed
- •His father said he didn't have to decide never to quit, just not to quit for one more day
- •About 30 days later he no longer wanted to quit
- •Jay says it's a daily mindset, like telling his wife he loves her one more time
- 23:39 – 27:28
Building Self-Worth Through Small Extra Efforts and Discomfort
Jay asks how this applies to people who feel some are meant to succeed and they aren't. The guest says he lacked confidence and that doing small extra actions convinced him he deserved results. Jay adds that comfort creates self-care but discomfort creates self-respect.
- •Jay asks about people who believe success is for others, not them
- •The guest says people tend to get what they believe they deserve
- •Small extra calls, meetings, and books built his belief that he deserved more
- •Jay: comfort creates self-care, discomfort creates self-respect
- •Successful, happy people take on selected discomfort
- 27:28 – 30:42
Making Sure One More Goes the Right Direction: "What Matters to Me Now?"
Jay raises the risk that one more in the wrong direction can cost you family, faith or partners. The guest says to check in regularly with yourself about what matters now, noting his motivation has shifted from significance to contribution, and Jay adds that you can't change the season but can live it well.
- •Jay notes some people build companies but lose their kids or relationships
- •The guest asks "What matters to me now?" regularly
- •His driver moved from significance and recognition to contribution
- •Don't play out of a past playbook; some seasons call for rest
- •Jay: you can't change the season but can live it well
- 30:42 – 33:39
You Were Born for Something Great, and Greatness Needn't Be Big
The guest says everyone was born to do something great and shouldn't discount their own greatness, using the man who helped his father as an example. Jay adds that great doesn't have to be big, and shares that he started simply wanting to serve whoever showed up.
- •Everyone is born to do something great and should check what that is now
- •One kind act of helping can be greatness
- •Turn the camera back on yourself: you matter
- •Jay says great doesn't have to be big and big doesn't mean great
- •Jay started by wanting to serve whoever came and grew from there
- 33:39 – 37:23
The Piñata: Invisible, Cumulative Progress
The guest says stepping forward with faith opens the next door and that we don't need everything figured out. He tells a birthday party story where one piñata hit seemed to break it but the cumulative blows did, saying most people quit before the candy comes out. Jay then closes by promoting the book.
- •You don't need to have it all figured out; step into the next space
- •People want immediate results
- •Cumulative blows broke the piñata, not just the last one
- •Most quit before the candy comes out
- •Jay closes by recommending The Power of One More
