Jay Shetty PodcastHow the World's TOP Fencer Stays Unshakable Under Pressure (Use This Habit!)
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 3:44
Fencing as a lifeline: not fitting in, moving countries, and finding purpose
Miles describes feeling different as a kid in London and then struggling even more after moving to New York at a formative age. After getting kicked out of schools, fencing begins as a “punishment” option—but quickly becomes his identity, focus, and a stabilizing force.
- •Early sense of not fitting in and rebelling after his father left
- •Move from London to New York and the disruption of identity and belonging
- •Getting expelled from schools and being pushed into “mental sports”
- •Discovering fencing as an outlet, purpose, and ‘superhero’ feeling
- •Fencing helping manage ADHD/ADD and improving school performance
- 3:44 – 7:32
Seeing talent early and why sports build confidence through competence
Miles explains he felt an immediate connection to fencing and received early validation from coaches who saw Olympic potential. He and Jay discuss how sports create competence, structure, and self-belief—often more effectively than purely clinical solutions for attention and behavior challenges.
- •Instant connection to fencing and rapid early progress
- •A coach predicting Olympic potential and planting belief
- •Sports as an alternative pathway for kids struggling with focus
- •Why competence creates real confidence
- •How sports teach integrity, discipline, and handling losses
- 7:32 – 10:39
The mentor effect: coaches, citizenship guidance, and learning to lose before winning
Miles credits key mentors—teachers, coaches, and especially Simon Gershon—for shaping both his career and character. He introduces a core principle tattooed on his body: you must learn to lose before you learn to win, and explains how that lesson reframed his Olympic disappointment into future success.
- •Mentors who pushed him toward U.S. citizenship and a bigger vision
- •Coach as a father figure and daily emotional barometer
- •‘Learn to lose before you learn to win’ as a life/athlete principle
- •How Olympic disappointment can become fuel for growth
- •Staying humble and consistent even after success
- 10:39 – 12:30
2012 heartbreak and Kobe Bryant’s mindset: the shortest memory wins
Miles relives the pain of falling short at the London Olympics and feeling he let his family down. A chance encounter with Kobe Bryant becomes a turning point: Kobe’s ‘shortest memory’ philosophy transforms Miles’ approach and helps catalyze his historic win the following year.
- •Emotional weight of competing (and losing) at a hometown Olympics
- •Family expectations vs. family love and support
- •Kobe’s advice: forget wins and losses quickly—celebrate later
- •The mental reset that followed and its impact on performance
- •How role models change you through a single sentence
- 12:30 – 14:21
Grief and perspective: Kobe’s passing and the fragility of ‘larger-than-life’ icons
Jay and Miles reflect on Kobe’s humility, presence, and the impact he had beyond basketball. Miles shares being on a Nike set discussing Kobe the day Kobe died—an experience that reinforced the urgency of appreciating each moment and living with love.
- •Jay’s personal memory of Kobe meditating and being grounded
- •Miles on discussing Kobe the day of his death
- •The shock of sudden loss and ‘standing in silence’ moments
- •Perspective shift: cherish time and presence
- •Respecting legacies while learning from them
- 14:21 – 17:39
Breaking barriers in a traditionally white sport: racism, isolation, and ‘just win’
Miles details experiencing racism in fencing—from being picked last to questionable penalties and gestures from authority figures. Guided by his mother’s advice to ‘just win,’ he turns pain into resolve, aiming not just to succeed but to change the sport’s culture for those coming after him.
- •Being singled out and consistently picked last despite ability
- •Red cards and officiating experiences tied to race
- •Lack of representation and the significance of Peter Westbrook
- •Mother’s strategy: excellence as the loudest rebuttal
- •Turning the chip on his shoulder into a mission for change
- 17:39 – 19:20
World Fencing League: making fencing mainstream and welcoming to everyone
Miles describes building the World Fencing League as a platform for visibility, diversity, and modern presentation. He and Jay discuss the event’s atmosphere, sold-out success, and the bigger ambition: bringing fencing to a mainstream audience and giving young fencers a stage they’ve never had.
- •Creating a more inclusive, exciting, audience-friendly format
- •Record-setting viewership and a ‘fencing on the map’ moment
- •Why representation and belonging matter for youth athletes
- •Using tech and production to modernize the sport
- •Long-term vision: mainstream channels and global growth
- 19:20 – 22:54
Training like a world-class fencer: ‘physical chess,’ explosiveness, and cardio structure
Miles breaks down fencing as mentally demanding ‘physical chess’ requiring timing, reactions, and explosive power. He outlines conditioning phases, weekly training structure, and the blend of sparring sessions with tactical one-on-one coaching lessons.
- •Key performance pillars: explosiveness, reaction speed, timing
- •Fencing as a dance: reading feet, mannerisms, and rhythm
- •Pre-season conditioning: assault bike, SkiErg, sprint intervals
- •Weekly structure: heavy fencing days vs. private technical lessons
- •Why VO2 recovery and sustained squat posture are critical
- 22:54 – 24:08
Reading opponents and managing pressure: why he avoids scouting until the morning
Miles explains how different countries often develop recognizable fencing styles and how elite fencers infer intent from small cues. He also shares an unusual pressure habit: he avoids over-analyzing opponents or even visiting venues the night before to protect sleep, spontaneity, and mental clarity.
- •Country-based tendencies: Italian pressure, Russian tactics, Asian footwork, etc.
- •Pattern recognition through mannerisms and footwork
- •Pressure management through reducing pre-event rumination
- •Not watching or discussing fencing until competition day
- •Reframing pressure as privilege when expectations are high
- 24:08 – 28:52
Fencing’s dangerous history and how modern tech changed safety
Miles recounts historical tragedies where broken blades caused fatal injuries, underscoring fencing’s real risks. He explains how modern equipment and technology now detect breaks immediately, making the sport safer while preserving its intensity and athletic demands.
- •Past fatality from blade breakage and lack of electrical safeguards
- •How modern scoring/tech mitigates catastrophic risk
- •Why fencing is still ‘real sword fighting’ despite misconceptions
- •The sport’s physical difficulty often underestimated by outsiders
- •Importance of educating new audiences to appreciate the athleticism
- 28:52 – 32:26
Olympic success through individuality: enjoying the journey and taking unconventional leaps
Miles contrasts his first Olympics—overly rigid and isolated—with later performances where he allowed himself joy and connection. He discusses training in Korea to evolve, and emphasizes that legends separate themselves by mastering mindset and daring to prepare differently than everyone else.
- •Over-serious preparation vs. relaxed confidence and better outcomes
- •Enjoying friendships and the host city as part of performance
- •Training in Korea to learn new approaches and expand skillset
- •Mindset as the differentiator between great and legendary
- •Creating a roadmap for future athletes by being unapologetically different
- 32:26 – 34:02
Identity, tattoos, and staying true: turning ‘uncool’ into a brand and mission
Miles explains how he embraced tattoos and style to stand out in an all-white uniform sport—and how being authentic unlocked opportunities. He describes going from hiding that he fenced to proudly leading with it, and shares advice about keeping your “main thing” central while everything else grows around it.
- •Using tattoos and personal style to disrupt fencing’s elitist image
- •Rejecting the idea that professionalism requires conformity
- •From hiding fencing to owning it publicly as his purpose
- •Advice from Michael Strahan: protect your ‘main’ craft
- •Authenticity as a long-term competitive and personal advantage
- 34:02 – 40:38
Reconnecting with his biological father: emotional courage and healing old trauma
Miles opens up about how his father’s absence shaped his behavior and created unresolved trauma. After a spiritual awakening and encouragement from close friends, he calls his father after a decade—finding closure, perspective, and a new understanding that parents are “growing up” too.
- •Linking childhood troublemaking to unprocessed trauma and absence
- •A spiritual shift that prompted re-evaluating the past
- •Calling his father after 10+ years: short, powerful, transformative
- •Realization: parents don’t have all the answers either
- •Emotional work as harder than physical training—but more freeing
- 40:38 – 45:53
Family crisis and feeling helpless: sister’s stroke, becoming ‘the umbrella,’ and still qualifying
Miles shares the most intense period of his life: his sister’s stroke at 37, rooted in domestic violence, and the family’s scramble to survive the aftermath. He describes journaling in the ICU, supporting nieces/nephews, watching his mother cry for the first time, and somehow continuing to compete and qualify—proof to him that he can handle anything.
- •Sister’s stroke at 37 and the shock of sudden medical crisis
- •Compartmentalizing: ICU visits alongside international competition
- •Stepping into responsibility—helping with children and family logistics
- •Finding silver linings through journaling, support, and presence
- •Perspective shift: Olympics became ‘small’ compared to family survival
- 45:53 – 1:02:29
Legacy beyond medals: role models, male friendships, loneliness, and the gear-bag goodbye
Miles explains what he’s most proud of: never losing himself and changing fencing for kids who feel unseen. He and Jay discuss role models and the power of strong male friendships to counter loneliness, then close with a hands-on gear segment where Miles gifts Jay an Olympic mask and foil, followed by the show’s ‘Final Five’ principles about loss, emotion, time, and humanity.
- •Pride in staying ‘Miles’ and becoming a beacon for bullied kids
- •Why impact and culture change outweigh medals
- •Advice to lonely men: emotions aren’t forever; call your friends
- •Gear walkthrough: masks, custom grips, balance, and weapon feel
- •Final Five: ‘always a lesson,’ show emotion, value time, hug everyone
