How To Destroy Your NEGATIVE THOUGHTS & Achieve Anything You Want | Lilly Singh

She describes feeling “lost” during COVID when events and work disappeared, revealing she’d been using productivity as her primary measure of worth; the “triangle” represents building a stronger base of values so life’s experiences can sit on top of it.

She explains that degrees, marriage, kids, and financial security were emphasized in her community, and that her parents’ worldview came from survival-focused circumstances; she reframed her earlier frustration as a lack of understanding of their context.

She says dismantling values is scary partly because there’s “no map,” and she even caught herself trying to “BS” on the page while writing; she emphasizes honesty about what you value (including money or recognition) and examining whether it should drive happiness.

She argues growth isn’t only grades, promotions, or salaries; she contrasts those external measures with inner qualities like patience and kindness that were rarely praised or tracked in childhood.

She shares that she once viewed changing her beliefs as making her past self “wrong,” but now allows herself to evolve without labeling everything right/wrong; her updated definition of success includes happiness and fun, not only achievements.