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Jay Shetty PodcastJay Shetty Podcast

If You Can’t Make Decisions, Feel Stuck & Can’t Move Forward WATCH THIS

On Melissa Wood’s show, Jay opens up about the practices and perspectives that keep him grounded in a world that rarely slows down. Their conversation moves beyond routines and rituals, diving into what it really means to find peace within yourself while navigating pressure, ambition, relationships, and everyday chaos. Together, they explore how stillness is built through self-awareness, presence, and the courage to listen to your inner voice. Jay shares lessons from his upbringing, life as a monk, and marriage, while Melissa reflects on healing, motherhood, and breaking old patterns. From meditation and breathwork to love and emotional growth, this conversation is a reminder that the smallest daily choices often shape the deepest transformation. In this episode you'll learn: How to Listen to Your Inner Voice How to Stay Grounded Under Pressure How to Stop Feeding Negative Thoughts How to Build Stillness Within Yourself How to Create Healthier Relationships How to Reconnect With Yourself Daily How to Stop Trying to Change Your Partner No matter where you are in your journey, there is still space for healing, clarity, love, and change. Keep showing up for yourself. Keep planting the seeds that align with the life you truly want. The Move With Heart podcast features Melissa Wood-Tepperberg's personal stories, triumphs, philosophies as well as those of her mentors who will join the show to share their wisdom. Check out https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/move-with-heart/id1621097400 With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:10 How To Build Inner Peace 03:42 Lessons From a Hardworking Mother 07:04 Learning to Be Still 12:20 Your Mind Comes First 17:14 Are You Planting Seeds or Weeds? 22:50 The Fear of Making the Wrong Choice 27:20 Finding Calm in the Chaos 32:50 Jay’s 3 Daily Meditation Practices 38:26 Aligning Your Mind and Body 47:20 The Power of Mantra Meditation 50:32 Trusting the Bigger Plan 54:42 What Is Your Deepest Desire? 59:20 Staying Connected in Long-Term Love 01:05:17 Inspire Your Partner Without Changing Them Episode Resources: Website | https://mwh-production.melissawoodhealth.com/ YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd-M8iMVPXC9qE-4s8B9law Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/melissawoodhealth/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/melissawoodtepperberg/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@melissawoodhealth https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty https://www.facebook.com/jayshetty/ https://x.com/jayshetty https://www.linkedin.com/in/shettyjay/ https://www.youtube.com/@JayShettyPodcast http://jayshetty.me

Jay ShettyguestMelissa Wood-Tepperberghost
Jun 12, 20261h 17mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 1:10

    Intro

    1. JS

      Most of us don't struggle to find peace, we struggle to slow down long enough to feel it. In this conversation with Melissa Wood, we explore what it actually takes to stay grounded when life doesn't slow down, and why so many of us feel disconnected even when everything looks fine. I share the practices that keep me centered and what we need to let go of to actually feel calm. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, you don't wanna miss this conversation.

    2. MW

      We live in such a chaotic world, and there's just this buzz of energy going on. I mean, I live in New York City, and you can hear, you know, sirens constantly. So to be able to drop into yourself is-- it's the reason I know I'm here, and the reason that I've been able to build and blossom in the way that I have. And I think, like, the more that I've gotten to know about you and your story, I, I feel that is, like, the one thing in people that they struggle with the most, they, like, battle with is, is finding this, like, inner peace within themself. And I,

  2. 1:10 – 3:42

    How To Build Inner Peace

    1. MW

      you know, I'd love to know where the seed of this all really came from for you.

    2. JS

      If you ask me about inner peace, my honest answer is my mom. And I really believe that a mother's love can be the greatest shield to all of the challenges, stresses, pains, and pressures that a kid can go through growing up. And so my childhood was not easy by any means, but I feel like my mother's love was this protective shield that when I look back on it, I think, "How do I not have any cuts on me? And how do I not have any scars? And where are my battle wounds?" And the beautiful part of that is you realize your mother's love protected you, but then you also realize that maybe your mom took some of those wounds for you.

    3. MW

      Mm.

    4. JS

      And that's the hardest part, because as you grow up and you want, uh, the people around you to also feel peace and also feel love and also feel joy that they helped you have, you realize you can't always control that.

    5. MW

      Mm.

    6. JS

      And so the seed of peace for me is definitely my mother's love. I think everything that's good about me is because of how my mom raised me.

    7. MW

      [laughs]

    8. JS

      And all the credit goes to her, because, yeah, she's, she loves me more than anything in the world.

    9. MW

      It's-

    10. JS

      And I still feel it today.

    11. MW

      I love your mo- your, your love for your mother.

    12. JS

      [laughs]

    13. MW

      It's, it's so real, and as a mother myself, I'm like, that is... I think when people are like, "What is your, like, greatest wish in life?" It's to have my children talk about me the way you talk about your mother and your parents.

    14. JS

      [laughs]

    15. MW

      Like, it's just... You know, I think when, when you look at, mm, just, like, what's the point of it all, you know?

    16. JS

      Yeah.

    17. MW

      And to have the people that we're literally bringing into this world to feel that, because I didn't feel that. I, I, I hope and I pray that everyone feels what you felt. And I know that's why I, I feel so much passion about the way that I parent, because I wanna break a cycle. I d- I have broken a cycle. And

  3. 3:42 – 7:04

    Lessons From a Hardworking Mother

    1. MW

      in your home, was your mom a meditator? Was she... Like, what were-- where did all of this-

    2. JS

      [laughs]

    3. MW

      ... grounded, like, mama bear energy come from for, from her?

    4. JS

      You know what? It was-- she was the hardest worker I knew. And so she woke up earlier than us. She'd do her prayers in the morning. But at that time, spirituality and religion to me were very ritualistic in how it was practiced at home. We did it on a particular day. It didn't have meaning. It ne- didn't necessarily have a spirit. It didn't really have depth, I guess-

    5. MW

      Mm

    6. JS

      ... to some degree at least, or at least from the outside in, it didn't feel that way to me. But I think for me, I just saw my mom working hard. I saw her making a fresh breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my sister every day, dropping us to school, picking us up from school, going back out to work, coming back home. She was the breadwinner of the family. She did everything.

    7. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    8. JS

      And to be honest, I think that's where I get my work ethic from, is watching my mom just work so hard at life when it wasn't really handing her out any favors, or it wasn't giving her the best opportunities, or it wasn't like things were lining up for her. But I don't remember hearing her complain. I don't remember her making a big deal out of it. Just remember her getting on with it.

    9. MW

      Mm.

    10. JS

      And, you know, I think, I remember once when I was going through a bit of a tough time, and I don't talk to my mom about that in that way. Our relationship today is very much, I check in with her, she asks me what I ate, I tell her I love her, and she'll ask me a bit about something that's happening in my world which she doesn't fully understand, and it's a sweet interaction. But once I remember telling her that it was a really stressful time, and I wouldn't usually say that to my mom. This was around seven, eight years ago. And she said to me, she goes, "Well, you're really good at dealing with stress." And I said, "What do you mean?" And my mom doesn't give me pep talks either. And she said, "Yeah, when you were in my stomach, you went through a lot of stress. Like, I was under a lot of stress." She goes, "You're really good at dealing with it."

    11. MW

      Mm.

    12. JS

      And that, like, I remember just, like, crying that day, because I, I almost had no idea what she meant, but I also know what she meant, and there was so much- In that coded message that she shared with me, and I felt so much strength and resilience from it, from that reminder, and at the same time felt, you know, sadness and pain from the fact that she'd undergone so much at that time. But it gave me such a boost.

    13. MW

      Mm.

    14. JS

      And so I think it's not sometimes the... Peace doesn't always come from peace. It comes from knowing how to be still in chaos. And I think sometimes we're hoping that if we create a peaceful atmosphere, people will learn peace, and I don't think that's the case. I think it's giving people the skills and tools-

    15. MW

      Mm-hmm

    16. JS

      ... to know how to be still in a chaotic atmosphere that creates peace, and I think that's what my mum did, not consciously or intentionally, but simply by watching her work and watching her move, I was sure that that's how she got through chaos. Does that make sense?

    17. MW

      It totally

  4. 7:04 – 12:20

    Learning to Be Still

    1. MW

      makes sense. So how did you create your practice of stillness? And I wanna know what it looks like.

    2. JS

      Yeah.

    3. MW

      Like, the real ins.

    4. JS

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really believe that my practice of stillness came from, in the beginning, listening to my inner voice, and I probably started listening to my inner voice when I was around 14 years old. And I remember that very strongly, because there were expectations from my parents, from family, and I disagreed with them, or my inner voice did, and I was strong enough and courageous enough at the time to stand up for them, and I felt that's what stillness really was. Stillness was the ability to say, "This is where I stand. This is how I feel. This is what's important to me. This is what I value." That's real stillness.

    5. MW

      Mm.

    6. JS

      There's the external stillness of what we think of a calm ocean or a calm lake, but to me, real stillness is I'm immovable in my spirit and immovable in my conviction. That's real stillness. I stand up for something. There's a beautiful quote from Martin Luther King where he said that if you can't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. And so stillness to me is that ability to say, "I'm here."

    7. MW

      Mm.

    8. JS

      And at that time, it wasn't serious. It was me telling my parents I didn't wanna study sciences.

    9. MW

      Yeah.

    10. JS

      And, you know, you're arguing over what-

    11. MW

      Totally [laughs]

    12. JS

      ... what you're gonna focus on at school. It wasn't deep, but it was the seed of learning how to be still.

    13. MW

      That gave me chills.

    14. JS

      Right?

    15. MW

      Like, I've never really thought about it in that exact way, but that is exactly what it is. It's sa- it's standing so strong in who you are and what you believe and r- regardless of all of the stuff and the opinion shopping. It's like, you know, when I think of it, it's like being with self, and it doesn't mean that it needs to be quiet or anything. It's actually really going inside to the depths of your soul, which I know you can literally do anywhere. I do it, you know, on a park bench, in an Uber, on an airplane. When you learn how to do that, it's something that it just, like, sharpens these intuitive tools within yourself, and you can tap in. Like, I mean, right before I did it. Like, I'm just like, "Okay," like, "just do it. Go in." Like, it's, it is something that we all have the ability to do.

    16. JS

      Absolutely, yeah. It's not... And, and it's, when you first start listening to that voice, it's gonna be really quiet, it's gonna be really soft, because it's been ignored for so long. It's been shunned and put aside.

    17. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    18. JS

      And then it gains confidence, and then it gets stronger, and it gets louder, and it gets more courageous, and it gets more powerful. And so when you first start listening to that voice, which is what makes you immovable, in the beginning it may be a bit shaky. The voice might even be a bit shaky. But it will gain strength as you listen to and as you follow it. And I think for me now, my practice means being able to reconnect with that voice in and amongst all that noise.

    19. MW

      Mm.

    20. JS

      And I think it's about giving that voice a personality, a character, a name, a identity. That makes it easier for you to recognize it. Because as you get older, there's more voices. There's your voice that is true to you, but that's buried in the voices of everyone's expectations, and that's buried in the voices of society, and then that's buried in the voices of social media, and then that's buried in the voice of your boss, your team, your friends, whatever it may be. So your voice that you're saying gives you stillness is clouded by all of this noise, and so hearing it and identifying it becomes the biggest challenge. And so for me, I usually know that it's my voice because, and this is true for me, and it may not be true for others, and you've gotta find the characteristics-

    21. MW

      Yeah

    22. JS

      ... that are true for you. For me, usually no one agrees with me, and that makes me go, "Yeah, that's-

    23. MW

      [laughs]

    24. JS

      ... I know my voice, because no one really agrees with me."

    25. MW

      Me too. [laughs]

    26. JS

      Yeah. Right? And it's like, no one agrees with me.

    27. MW

      [laughs]

    28. JS

      Most people are probably gonna think I'm crazy or, or, or don't really vibe with it, and I'm probably gonna have to go against the grain.

    29. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    30. JS

      There's gonna be some resistance. That's what I've found with mine. Other-

  5. 12:20 – 17:14

    Your Mind Comes First

    1. MW

      I mean, f- I- it's all so important. I, I love just... You know, my, my favorite thing about having a conversation with anyone who just has mastered the mind and, and continues to be on this quest, right? Because you can master the mind one day, and then you wake up, and you're like, "And sis, you gotta get back to work."

    2. JS

      [laughs]

    3. MW

      It's, like, this never-ending... And I will honestly tell you here in my 40s, I'm like, "Is there ever gonna be a day where I just wake up and it's like, 'You know what? You can just skip this day.'"

    4. JS

      [laughs]

    5. MW

      For me, I can't.

    6. JS

      Yeah.

    7. MW

      I, I have to continue to quite literally, like, get, go to work inside myself because it has opened up a world beyond anything that I thought could have ever happened for me.

    8. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    9. MW

      And with knowing that it's, it's shifted and changed everything inside of me, and to be able to experience what it's shifted in other people, I'm like, "This is my work," you know? And it's, it's what has created other beautiful things in my life, but there's actually nothing more important in any day to me, and I, and I really mean this. And I'm a mom, and I'm a wife, but I can tell you that taking care of my mind first comes, comes before anything else. And if, if I don't, things are just different. I'm just more reactive. I'm not who I know my, like, purest highest self to be. And it's, it's just this, you know, it's this never-ending, like, beautiful journey of literally opening my eyes every day and realizing [laughs] that even when I don't wanna do it, you know?

    10. JS

      How did, how did you do that when there's such a societal conditioning for women especially to forego their own needs for the family, children, partner? I feel so many women feel that. And then it comes with the guilt of, "I'm putting myself first." What was it for you that... What reframe helped you do that? Because I think so many people want that. They need it, but then the shame, the guilt-

    11. MW

      Yeah

    12. JS

      ... the conditioning kind of becomes overwhelming, and it's especially true for women-

    13. MW

      Yeah

    14. JS

      ... way more than it is for men. Like, so where... By the way, that's true for my mom. Like, when I look-

    15. MW

      Yeah

    16. JS

      ... at my mom's life, everything I was saying, my mom sacrificed everything-

    17. MW

      Yep

    18. JS

      ... for being a nurturer, and I've reaped the benefits of that.

    19. MW

      Mm.

    20. JS

      But at the same time, as now an adult son, all I want is for my mom to have taken out time for herself.

    21. MW

      Right.

    22. JS

      Like, that's what my wish w- So I wonder what was the reframe for you that helped you get to that conviction of you being so clear that your mind is your first priority?

    23. MW

      In, like, complete honesty, whew, it's hard to even say without choking up. Um, it is from not growing up in a happy home, that I, like, will do anything and everything in my power to bring love and happiness and joy and fulfillment into, like, the energy of my home. And I think when you, when you grow up in a house where there's just mental struggles and, and mental illness and just mental health, it, you know, it's, it's a, it's a battle. And for me, it's just knowing that I could so easily shift in that gear. Like, that is my natural state. I can go there so quick that I know I have to work, I have to work extra hard. And it's not even about hard at this point. It's, it's about this devotion. It's this daily devotion to myself, to my family, to my team, to my community, to any person that I interact with because I've, I know that I wanna wake up and operate at a frequency that is at a vibration that I never felt growing up. I, I didn't really know that that was what people felt at home. So it's, it's so, like, deep i- You feel it. [laughs] It's so deep in my soul that it's, it's like I, I do it when I don't wanna do it because of that.

    24. JS

      Mm. That's beautiful.

    25. MW

      Yeah.

    26. JS

      It's really special. Thank you for sharing.

    27. MW

      Yeah.

  6. 17:14 – 22:50

    Are You Planting Seeds or Weeds?

    1. MW

      So what does your practice look like? [laughs] Because you're so wise, and, you know, it's, it's easy to look at someone like yourself and just think like, "Oh, you have it all. Like, look what you've built. Like, you're the, you know, top health and wellness podcast in the world. You're the..." But I think when you, like, strip back the layers of just being a human, like, we, we all have these inner struggles and these things that we're up against and, and some look different for others. So, so what is it with you? Like, what, what and how do you devote to yourself to keep coming back and just stay so connected to yourself and your purpose?

    2. JS

      Mm. One of my favorite practices that I do on a daily and weekly basis is called Seeds and Weeds. And so when I'm making choices every day- I ask myself whether that choice is a seed or a weed. Am I planting a seed that will one day turn into a beautiful tree and bear fruit-

    3. MW

      Mm

    4. JS

      ... give shade to others, and be a beautiful place to rest? Or am I planting a weed which will eventually strangle the newborn tree in its infancy and kill all the things that are good in my garden? And that simple practice is a practice of evaluating intentions and actions.

    5. MW

      Mm.

    6. JS

      So when I'm saying yes to something, is my intention my ego, and is my action aligned with that? Or when I'm saying yes to something, is my intention joy and purpose, and is my action aligned with that? And by the way, I've made mistakes on, on both of those. And you only learn by planting a weed-

    7. MW

      [laughs]

    8. JS

      ... and a couple of years later, feeling the weed grab ahold of it. And even if you did it unconsciously, by the way.

    9. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    10. JS

      Sometimes it's not like you consciously made a bad choice. You subconsciously, you unconsciously, you unintentionally did it, but that's why it happened, to teach you-

    11. MW

      Mm

    12. JS

      ... to raise to you. So now it's very clear to me that I think of seeds as purpose, love, joy, commitment, duty, responsibility, accountability. Those are all seeds. Weeds are ego, jealousy, anger, comparison, lust, illusion. These are all weeds. And we have the ability just by pausing to know which one we're watering and which one we're planting. And so I will visualize myself unweeding my garden of my mind. I'll literally visualize myself grabbing hold of the root of a weed and pulling it out in order to dispose of it from my mind, because that's what it takes, and visualizing myself... And by the way, I'm terrible at gardening. So-

    13. MW

      [laughs]

    14. JS

      ... I have no idea why my brain works this way. But the idea of planting a seed very deeply in the soil and making sure that it has sunlight and water and everything else that it needs. So to me, that practice has been one of the game changers in my life.

    15. MW

      Mm.

    16. JS

      Because it's something that I can always be honest, and that's all that's required.

    17. MW

      So n- are you sitting in a meditation first?

    18. JS

      When I first started this, I would do it on paper, and so I would literally draw a line down the middle of the page, and on one side write seeds and one d- one side write weeds. I then made a list of categories of what seeds are to me, which I just named to you.

    19. MW

      Yeah.

    20. JS

      And then a list of what weeds are to me. And then I would look at the next choice, so the next deal, the next partnership, the next career venture.

    21. MW

      Love it.

    22. JS

      Whatever it may be. And then I get to be honest with myself. Sometimes I would honestly put in the weed and still do it, because I was being pulled.

    23. MW

      Mm.

    24. JS

      But recognizing it was a weed. And sometimes I'd be like, "No, it's a weed. Can I upgrade my intention to a seed? Can it be improved?" And so it gives you a real map of being able to figure it out. It's almost like looking at a garden and going, "Well, do I wanna plant rose bushes over there? Do I wanna plant," you know-

    25. MW

      Yeah

    26. JS

      ... whatever else it is. And I like the idea of doing it on paper and writing seeds and weeds on either side, and having a list of seeds and a list of weeds, and then looking at every choice. That's a big choice, a career choice, a relationship choice.

    27. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    28. JS

      It's almost like, am I getting into this relationship because I'm scared of being alone, or because this person is compatible with my values and vision?

    29. MW

      Yeah.

    30. JS

      Am I staying in this relationship because I'm settling for less than I deserve, because I'm scared if anyone will ever love me, or am I staying in this relationship because I believe we can make it work?

  7. 22:50 – 27:20

    The Fear of Making the Wrong Choice

    1. MW

      the thing that I've learned in this place, when you're maybe not feeling certainty, right? Because we live in such an uncertain world, but the way to really gain certainty is to trust and to go with the thing, and to give it 100% of what you have.

    2. JS

      Yes, yes.

    3. MW

      Right? Because that's how you're going to... Like, certainty is going to come through, whether you made the right decision or the wrong decision. [laughs]

    4. JS

      Absolutely, yeah. And I don't think there is a right or wrong decision.

    5. MW

      Mm.

    6. JS

      I think there's too much pressure on making the right or wrong decision. But I think that you can choose to make something work for you and make something right if you desire to. I think the wrong decision is just a harder decision. It may come with more discomfort, it may come with more stress, and therefore we think, "Oh, I made the wrong decision." But sometimes that leads you to your greatest growth and your greatest lesson. And I think as, as you're, as you're smiling to that, it's like, I think there's, there's a beautiful quote that I love and it says that, "I've never seen a strong person with an easy past." And it goes back to what we were saying about children or about raising someone, that by overprotecting and by over-coddling, you create something weak.

    7. MW

      Yeah.

    8. JS

      You don't create something strong, because it never had to build the resilience-

    9. MW

      Mm

    10. JS

      ... or the strength to fight off anything that was bad for it. And so- By allowing yourself to make mistakes-

    11. MW

      Yes

    12. JS

      ... but then from that mistake, taking strength, can transform everything.

    13. MW

      Everything. As you just said that, it's... I feel like I've, you know, really been in this space of being so conscious of my vocabulary, because shifting and really listening to the words that I use have really helped me realize, like, wow, I was holding myself back for so many years because of the, the limited beliefs that I was just saying every single day. So as soon as I said that, I swear to you, I was like, "There is a different way to say that." [laughs]

    14. JS

      [laughs]

    15. MW

      But, like, that's a beautiful thing, right? Because I think about all of the, quote-unquote, like, "wrong decisions," if you will, that I've made, have without a doubt made me the strongest, most resilient version of myself, and also made me realize it's not, it's not, it's not wrong, it's the path that you had to take to get to the right-

    16. JS

      Mm-hmm

    17. MW

      ... thing for you.

    18. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    19. MW

      Right?

    20. JS

      Yeah, absolutely. I mean, as you were saying that, I was just thinking, how many people downplay their wins in order to make other people feel comfortable? How many people will complain about their day just because they know it will make other people-

    21. MW

      Mm

    22. JS

      ... feel better?

    23. MW

      Yeah.

    24. JS

      How many people will lie about or even make up a relationship issue they have in order to feel more relatable to everyone else? And it's really interesting how quickly we all start creating our own drama and stress and pressure in how we talk to ourselves-

    25. MW

      Yeah

    26. JS

      ... because we think that's what makes us connect with everyone around us. If someone's gossiping or if I match their frequency, now we can connect over something. If someone's talking bad about someone, if I join in, now we can connect about something. And we all do it. I do it too.

    27. MW

      Totally.

    28. JS

      But it's what you're saying. It's like, wait a minute, are we raising our frequency? Are we lowering it? And to me, that goes back to making a choice.

    29. MW

      Mm.

    30. JS

      Because every time you lower your frequency, that becomes your frequency. You become more like what you critique. You become more like what you compare. You become more like what you complain about. And all of a sudden, you realize you're becoming all the things you didn't wanna be.

  8. 27:20 – 32:50

    Finding Calm in the Chaos

    1. MW

      when I'm, I... It's very verbally communicated in my home [laughs] because everyone wants mom to meditate because [laughs] when mom walks in-

    2. JS

      That's amazing

    3. MW

      ... oh, they're like... That my children, I mean, my husband's like, "You didn't meditate yet." [laughs]

    4. JS

      [laughs]

    5. MW

      And listen, I know people are like, "But it, shouldn't it completely, like, change the person that you are?" Yes. [laughs]

    6. JS

      [laughs]

    7. MW

      Actually, trust me, you want this.

    8. JS

      Yeah.

    9. MW

      So it's, it's a known thing, and I can feel myself if Noah interrupts me, I'm just like, like the fire. But I'm just softening those edges-

    10. JS

      Yeah, yeah, yeah

    11. MW

      ... and learning that, like, there's a way to not be so snappy. [laughs]

    12. JS

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    13. MW

      Mm.

    14. JS

      You reminded me of an experience I had when I lived as a monk for three years. There was a one train journey we went on that was around somewhere between two to three days. It was a journey from North India to South India, and when you're a monk, you don't... You travel generally by train, especially when you're in a country. And-

    15. MW

      With a backpack, right? Like a-

    16. JS

      With a backpack

    17. MW

      ... tiny little-

    18. JS

      Yeah, totally, and it takes, like, two to three days to get to the south. And we were going on a pilgrimage. And so I get on this train and, you know, I'm born and raised in London. Like, the-

    19. MW

      Yeah

    20. JS

      ... the Tube in London's amazing.

    21. MW

      [laughs]

    22. JS

      And the trains in London are amazing. And the trains in India, when you're a monk, you're not... There is no such thing as coach. It's like-

    23. MW

      [laughs]

    24. JS

      ... whatever's less than coach.

    25. MW

      [laughs]

    26. JS

      And I'm not kidding you, I got on this train, and I went to use the restroom. And for anyone who's been to India back in the day, and that train still had it that way, the, the bathroom is not a toilet that you'd find in a Western home.

    27. MW

      Right.

    28. JS

      It's a hole in the floor.

    29. MW

      I've heard.

    30. JS

      And I walked in, and it was s- the, the whole bathroom in the train was so filthy. We just got on the train. It was so filthy that I decided to fast for two to three days, because I didn't wanna use it. I just didn't wanna go in there. So I'm on this train, and the train's chaotic. I thought I had a seat, but there is no assigned seating. Everyone's sitting everywhere. There's people sitting on the floor. There's people sitting on the chair. And I told my monk teacher, I said, "I think when we stop," because it was a long, uh, haul train, the stops would be, like, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes at a station. They weren't these quick stops. And so I said to him, I said, "You know what?" During the next, you know, time on this train, I'm gonna get off m- the train, meditate somewhere near the station, and then jump back on the train, and I just want you to know that." And he asked me why, and I said, "Well, because it's more peaceful." Like, I would jump off, and I'd find somewhere in the corner of a station. I'd say, "It's more peaceful than the train because the train is just chaotic. There's people everywhere, and there's nowhere to sit." And he saw me do this a few times, and then he sat me down, and he said to me, he said, "Jay, do you think life is going to be peaceful like the stop or chaotic like the train?" And I said, "I think it's gonna be both, but I think it's gonna be more like the train." And he said, "Yeah, that's why you need to learn how to meditate on the train."

  9. 32:50 – 38:26

    Jay’s 3 Daily Meditation Practices

    1. MW

      TM? Like, tell me [laughs] exactly-

    2. JS

      Yeah, yeah, for sure

    3. MW

      ... how do you meditate?

    4. JS

      Yeah, so I have three meditation practices.

    5. MW

      Okay.

    6. JS

      You'll be aware of some of them or maybe all of them. The first is breathwork.

    7. MW

      Yes.

    8. JS

      And I think you and your audience and community will know so much about this, and-

    9. MW

      Yeah

    10. JS

      ... it's as simple as that. For me, breathwork is how I start my day.

    11. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    12. JS

      Because to me, breath is at the core of everything. I remember when I was at my first day of being a monk, and I was watching a young monk teach these children monks how to do something at their first day of school. So I went and watched, and I asked him what he was teaching them, and he said, "I was teaching them how to breathe." And he said, "What did you learn on your first day of school?" And I said, "One, two, three, A, B, C. I don't know."

    13. MW

      [laughs]

    14. JS

      And he said, "Well, here we teach them how to breathe because we believe that the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath."

    15. MW

      Mm.

    16. JS

      And he said, "Your breath is connected to every emotion you experience in life. So what changes when you're happy? Your breath."

    17. MW

      Mm.

    18. JS

      "What changes when you're sad? Your breath. What changes when you're joyful? Your breath. What changes when you're crying? Your breath." And he said, "Every emotion under the sun is connected to your breath, so if you learn to navigate your breath, you'll know how to navigate life." He was 10 years old, and I couldn't believe just how powerful it was, and so to me, our day is dictated by the quality of our breath. A- for anyone who works out, you know if you're breathing right, you can lift heavier. You can push harder.

    19. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    20. JS

      If you cold plunge, you can stay in there longer. You can deal with so much. Your body can push its limits if you're breathing properly. The athletes that we all admire can push themselves because they're breathing properly. The musicians who sing at the top of their lungs or play wind instruments beautifully can do that because they're breathing properly. Your breath, whether you look at it through science or spirituality, is deeply connected to human performance. If you're out of energy, you can change it with your breath.

    21. MW

      It's so true.

    22. JS

      Right? You can transform everything.

    23. MW

      Everything.

    24. JS

      And so to me, starting your day with breathwork is life-changing, and, you know, whatever practice you do. For me, it's usually aligning my breath and my body, so it's breathing in.

    25. MW

      Can we do it?

    26. JS

      Yeah, absolut- oh, I'd love to. Yeah, for sure.

    27. MW

      I just literally felt it. [laughs]

    28. JS

      Of course, let's do it. I love it. Yeah, absolutely.

    29. MW

      Okay.

    30. JS

      So, and I, I, I'm always being careful 'cause I don't like to tell people something they already know and doing and stuff.

  10. 38:26 – 47:20

    Aligning Your Mind and Body

    1. MW

      I love how you, like, align the two-

    2. JS

      Yeah

    3. MW

      ... like that. 'Cause I love like, I mean, I, I do and I share so many different versions, but the way that you, like, as soon as you said, like, aligning and not letting the, the pace of your breath, like be w- let your body be with it, like you could feel an immediate, like just alignment.

    4. JS

      Yeah. If you think about anxiety in your mind, what happens? Your breath gets shallower and it gets faster. So that means your mind is directly connected to your body. Now what's happening is your mind is moving fast, it's forcing your body to move fast. But that's not helping your body because we know shallow and fast breathing is not ideal.

    5. MW

      Yeah.

    6. JS

      So now we're trying to deepen our breath. We're trying to slow it down. And so when we're trying to bring both into alignment, you end up being able to do that as your day shifts and changes. So if there's anxiety, there's stress, you're able to remember, "Oh, wait a minute, I just need to bring them both back into alignment-

    7. MW

      Mm

    8. JS

      ... at a slower pace that's actually gonna help me." And so-

    9. MW

      It-

    10. JS

      I love that.

    11. MW

      It changes everything.

    12. JS

      Yeah.

    13. MW

      I mean, it's changed my en- en- life. It's just, like, the one practice, and I've been really deepening my nasal breathing.

    14. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    15. MW

      So I used to, and I still do a lot of breathwork with, you know, in through the nose, out through the mouth, or just many different cycles and series of breathwork. But I find that almost, like, the softer, just, like, deep, long, slow inhale through your nose and then that slow, long, deep exhale out through my nose [inhales] , wow. Like, just, like, the subtlety-

    16. JS

      Absolutely

    17. MW

      ... of just, like, dropping in deeper-

    18. JS

      The diaphragm, yeah

    19. MW

      ... and, like, really breathing into all of your diaphragm-

    20. JS

      Yes

    21. MW

      ... is like...

    22. JS

      Yeah. And sometimes if it helps people, I always say put your left palm on your stomach, and f- when you breathe in, feel your stomach come out, and when you breathe out, feel your stomach go in.

    23. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    24. JS

      That's how you know that you're, you're doing it right-

    25. MW

      Yeah

    26. JS

      ... if, if there is a right, and that definitely helps for sure. It's-

    27. MW

      It does

    28. JS

      ... 'cause we're all breathing up here in our chest and our heart.

    29. MW

      Yeah.

    30. JS

      And there's only so much you can breathe in when you're using that part of your body.

  11. 47:20 – 50:32

    The Power of Mantra Meditation

    1. JS

      you have to rehearse it when you're not getting up, because when you're doing it in the moment you're getting up, your mind's gonna beat you, because everything you didn't spot because you didn't rehearse is now gonna come at you, whether it's the thought in your head. So if the first thought in your head is, "I'm gonna snooze," right? Remove the ability to snooze. Keep your alarm clock on the other side of the room.

    2. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JS

      Now, you knew that the night before, so you set it up, so the next morning you had to wake up to turn it off, right? So you figured that out so you're not losing in the morning to your mind. You're actually winning and owning your mind and getting that. So that's my second practice of visualizing. And then the third practice, which is the longest part of my practice, is mantra meditation.

    4. MW

      Mm.

    5. JS

      Which is the repetition of sacred sound.

    6. MW

      Mm-hmm.

    7. JS

      And so in The Vedas and the teachings of the East, sacred sounds are considered to have frequency and potency to connect you to your higher self, to connect you to source, to connect you to God and divinity, and those names, those words, they're almost like affirmations. They just happen to be in Sanskrit, which is-

    8. MW

      Mm

    9. JS

      ... um, an ancient Indian language, one of the oldest languages in the world, if not the most. And that connects you back to the beginning of creation. So when you think about, when we hear the word om, which everyone's so familiar with today-

    10. MW

      Mm-hmm

    11. JS

      ... om is considered the starting syllable of the universe. It's considered to be the first ever sound that existed. And so when you're chanting that mantra, which many people do, that mantra reconnects you to that inception, to that beginning, to that moment. And so there's a-- The way I like people to think about it is when you hear certain music, it makes you dance. When you hear certain music, it makes you cry. When you hear certain music, it makes you nostalgic. Sound takes you back.

    12. MW

      Mm.

    13. JS

      And sound reveals images. When you hear a song, you can remember a party you were at, you can remember a moment you shared with your partner-

    14. MW

      Mm-hmm

    15. JS

      ... a moment your child was born, whatever that sound does. So when you speak or listen, you can then visualize, you can see, you can experience, and the name is the beginning of that. And so I'll practice mantra meditation as the core part of my practice.

    16. MW

      And you say, like, "Om."

    17. JS

      It will be-

    18. MW

      Or is it internal?

    19. JS

      It, it's, it's loud enough so that I can hear it.

    20. MW

      So it's, you're putting a sound down.

    21. JS

      Oh, no, I'll, I'll repeat it with my own-

    22. MW

      Okay. Okay.

    23. JS

      Yeah, I'll repeat-

    24. MW

      Yeah

    25. JS

      ... it with my own, uh, lips. And it can be different names. There's so many different names in our tradition of, uh-

    26. MW

      [coughs]

    27. JS

      ... Krishna is the name for the divine-

    28. MW

      Mm-hmm. Mm.

    29. JS

      Which is the name of the all-attractive. Uh, Rama means the reservoir of all pleasure, uh, which is another name for the divine. And so these are all beautiful names that could be repeated and that connect you to that. Uh, and what you're basically saying is, "Use me in your service." Uh, that's the request of the prayer, is, "Use me in your service. Use me to do your work. Uh, make me a true vessel and instrument in your hand, and allow me to, you know, experience you every moment of every day."

    30. MW

      Mm.

  12. 50:32 – 54:42

    Trusting the Bigger Plan

    1. MW

      Have you visualized yourself before you got to where you are today? Like, have you known that this was going to be your, your power and your strength?

    2. JS

      I hope this helps when I say it to people, because I don't think-- I, I've had different moments in my life where I had different dreams, but I don't think I ever believed it was possible. And what I'm living today is so far beyond my imagination, is what made me realize that there is a far greater plan for each of us than we even know.

    3. MW

      Mm.

    4. JS

      And you think your plan is good.

    5. MW

      [laughs]

    6. JS

      And that's your biggest mistake. Our biggest mistake is that we think our plan is good.

    7. MW

      Mm.

    8. JS

      And so we hold on tightly to our plan. And when life doesn't go to plan, we think it's going wrong, not realizing that there is a far great-- not realizing that there is a far greater, far better, far more profound plan-

    9. MW

      Mm

    10. JS

      ... that exists for us, but you only get it if you let go of yours. So at one point, my master plan was to live as a monk for the rest of my life. And when I left, it was the most embarrassing, humiliating, challenging thing that I had been through for myself.

    11. MW

      Why?

    12. JS

      Because I had told my family that this is what I was gonna do for the rest of my life. And my family had warned me and said, "When you leave, no one's gonna give you a job. When you leave, it could be the worst decision you ever made. You're gonna waste three years of your life. You're gonna be behind everyone else, whatever it is." And when I left, I felt that all of that was true. When I left, I was rejected from 40 companies. No one would give me an interview, let alone a job, because surprise, surprise, who wants to hire a former monk? Like, what are your transferable skills?

    13. MW

      Oh, my God, I do.

    14. JS

      Like, sitting still or being silent? You know, if-

    15. MW

      You and me.

    16. JS

      I would love to-- Yeah, I would love to come and work with you.

    17. MW

      [laughs]

    18. JS

      Uh, but that wasn't an option. Like, companies in 2013 were not thinking about this. So when I came out, it almost felt that everything those people said when I went in was true. And I had to sit with that and reconfigure that. And so I hope it helps people to realize that I didn't have this vision for myself. So even if you don't have a vision for your greater self right now, it doesn't mean it's not possible. And I don't want you to think you have to dream big or think big in order to kick it off. I would actually suggest you just start it small. When I started this, I was grateful if two people showed up, and that's what it was like for many, many years. When I did my first ever talk, zero people showed up. And then the second time I did it, zero people showed up, and I just practiced my talk in an empty room. And then the third time I did it, two people showed up, and then the fourth time was 10. And for years of my life, 10 years before I ever made a video, the largest audience I potentially had was, if I was lucky, 100, and that was incredible to me. That was mind-blowing. Like, that was so special. It wasn't this feeling of, "Oh, 100's not enough." And I think that's kind of where we've got to now, where you're so overexposed to these numbers of million and billion and, you know, tens of millions of views and tens of millions of downloads, that you don't even have the opportunity to be grateful for 10 views. I come from a time when I was just grateful if one person turned up.

    19. MW

      Mm.

    20. JS

      And I think that's what the universe reciprocates with, that when you're grateful that one person turns up, you get the opportunity to serve 100, and you get the opportunity to serve a million. But if you're constantly living in, "My vision's bigger. I want more for myself," I, I'm not convinced that that leads to a, a happier, more fulfilled journey. It may lead to success, but even today, when I'm speaking to large groups of people, I'll often just remember speaking to a group of three people in a room-

    21. MW

      Yeah

    22. JS

      ... because that's how I want it to feel.

    23. MW

      Mm.

    24. JS

      Even if it isn't what I'm-- isn't my reality anymore, I want everyone in that room to feel I'm looking right at them and I'm there th- with them because I am. And I could do that in a room of three, and so I have to recreate that for myself.

  13. 54:42 – 59:20

    What Is Your Deepest Desire?

    1. MW

      That's so powerful. I-- when I started, it was in my living room on my phone, and- To this day, every single time I film anything, I still feel that that's, like, that's where I am.

    2. JS

      Mm.

    3. MW

      And, like, I'm, I'm still connecting to, like, you know, that-

    4. JS

      Love that

    5. MW

      ... smaller community at that time. Because I think when you move through life from this true state of appreciation and gratitude for, like, what it is right now, the ab- abundance that comes, and I, I mean, clearly, right? It's like looking at w- what you're doing in the world, the, the guests who you have had these incredible conversations with, you know? It's like I would wonder, I'm like, what, what is your... like, what is your deepest desire? Like, what is something that in this moment in your life right now is bringing you the most fulfillment?

    6. JS

      Hmm. My deepest desire genuinely is to use up everything that I've been given in the service of others. Like, if I could just completely, completely run dry and empty and leave it all, that would be perfect. And that if I could use every gift that I've been given in the service of others, that would be my deepest joy because I feel like I've been given so much. I'm so fortunate, and I feel a responsibility with that, but I feel the need to reciprocate with that. And that isn't to say my life's been easy or it's been a straight path or any of that, for sure. But there's, there's a feeling I have of I have a lot to give and, and I wanna be able to give it all. And then what's bringing me the greatest joy right now, I mean, nothing brings me the great- greater joy than being with my wife. I love her. She's just like-

    7. MW

      I love her

    8. JS

      ... she's just-

    9. MW

      I was ending with her

    10. JS

      ... yeah, yeah. My, my wife is like, I... She is joy.

    11. MW

      She's joy.

    12. JS

      Uh, yeah, she's joy personified. And so any moment I get to see her smile or get to hang out with her or get to just, you know, be with her, uh, that's like magic.

    13. MW

      Oh.

    14. JS

      And I'm lucky because, yeah, it's just, she's, she's always like that, and she hates when I say that 'cause she's like, "I'm not always like that." I'm like, "No, you are. To me, at least. I have more mood swings than you do."

    15. MW

      [laughs]

    16. JS

      And, and she's just, yeah, she's just so steady in her joy, and she works for it. It's not... She, she has practices, she has habits, she has everything else. Like, it's definitely comes from her amazing parents and upbringing and everything, but it also comes from her investment in wanting to do that.

    17. MW

      Mm.

    18. JS

      And so, yeah, anytime I'm with her, I feel it gives me the greatest joy. Uh, from a work point of view, I get the greatest joy from constantly trying to see what's possible. I live in this-

    19. MW

      Mm

    20. JS

      ... I live in this ultimate realm of possibility-

    21. MW

      Mm

    22. JS

      ... because I come from, as I said earlier, not believing anything was possible, to now living like, "Well, let me see what's possible."

    23. MW

      [laughs]

    24. JS

      And so I get the greatest joy from trying things that are so far out of my comfort zone-

    25. MW

      Mm

    26. JS

      ... that are so far reaching, that are things that I only could have dreamt of once upon a time, or maybe wouldn't even have dreamt of, and now I'm like, "Well, it's all bonus world."

    27. MW

      Mm.

    28. JS

      Like, when people say to me like, "Oh, don't you just... Aren't you happy with what you're doing?" I'm like, "Yeah, I love what I'm doing, but there's more to give and there's more to experience and there's more to live, and so why not?" And it's not safe, it's risky and everything else, but I love it. That's what life's for. Like-

    29. MW

      It's fun

    30. JS

      ... yeah, it's fun.

  14. 59:20 – 1:05:17

    Staying Connected in Long-Term Love

    1. MW

      it's, at the, at the end of the day, it's all about the love that we have in our life and the love that we have to share and the love that we have to give and the love that we experience with the people closest to us.

    2. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    3. MW

      And, you know, I, I mean, you wrote an entire book on-

    4. JS

      [laughs]

    5. MW

      ... the lessons of love. Can you just give us... You've been with your wife for a long time.

    6. JS

      We've been together for 12 years and married for nine.

    7. MW

      It's a long time. Through marriage and just, you know, I think the longevity of being with someone for so... Like, it's like you, you start, you literally marry so many different versions within those years. [laughs]

    8. JS

      For sure.

    9. MW

      Right? I mean, my husband had no idea-

    10. JS

      [laughs]

    11. MW

      ... what he was getting himself into. [laughs] None. I'm like, "Did you think?" He's like, "No." [laughs]

    12. JS

      [laughs]

    13. MW

      He's like, "I knew there was greatness, but like I didn't know it was gonna be this great."

    14. JS

      Yeah. Oh.

    15. MW

      Which is, it's a beautiful thing.

    16. JS

      Yeah.

    17. MW

      Like, how does, how do you stay so connected with your wife?

    18. JS

      This is reciprocal and mutual, and that's why it's so powerful. The first is when you love someone, and if someone loves you, they never use your wounds against you. So they never use your vulnerability as a weapon. So if you've opened up to them, they don't use that to shut you down. If you've shared a deep part of yourself, they don't expose it in a shallow way.

    19. MW

      Mm.

    20. JS

      If you've shared your heart, they don't treat it harshly. If someone loves you, they say to you, "I know you told me this was sacred, and so I'll hold it gently."

    21. MW

      Mm.

    22. JS

      And when I think about my wife, I can't think of a moment where I've felt judged by my wife.

    23. MW

      Uh-oh.

    24. JS

      And that is so freeing. It is the most freeing thing in the world, because I think everyone in the world is judging you constantly, and to not have that at home-

    25. MW

      Mm

    26. JS

      ... that doesn't mean she doesn't want me to be better sometimes-

    27. MW

      Hit the work on that

    28. JS

      ... or whatever. Like, yeah. Doesn't mean she doesn't want me to be better at things, or doesn't want me to improve, or doesn't challenge me.

    29. MW

      Yeah.

    30. JS

      She does all of those things, and she, she checks me, she humbles me. She does all of those things.

  15. 1:05:17 – 1:17:33

    Inspire Your Partner Without Changing Them

    1. MW

      Yeah. First of all-

    2. JS

      Yeah

    3. MW

      ... what you said, I was so deeply heartfelt about your wife, and I feel like with me making the like, "Uh-oh," I, I didn't even mean to, like, interrupt that moment-

    4. JS

      You didn't

    5. MW

      ... 'cause it was so beautiful, and you, you can really feel that when you're in a partnership with someone who has your, like, your full embrace, right? Now, on the flip, everything you just said has been me in every single relationship that I've been in. Even with my husband, I can own that. However, through my own transformation and being able to, like, see my stuff, and to see that control is something that has always stood in the way of, of everything for me, and, and really surrendering to it. And like, you know, I'm in wellness. I married someone in nightlife.

    6. JS

      [laughs]

    7. MW

      Like, you don't get more polar-

    8. JS

      So good

    9. MW

      ... opposite than this, okay? And, you know, here I am, and I'm like, "Well, why aren't you meditating? And you're staying out so late." And then you, you do have to have these [laughs] moments where I'm like, "Well, I knew this."

    10. JS

      Yes.

    11. MW

      So what you just said, I wanted to change him. He didn't want me to. And then, then I bo- blossom like this butterfly, and I have gotten to this place where it's still a daily practice of not, not saying something in that moment, because what is it that I'm trying to say? Change the way in which... And I think and know that is why I've- been with my husband for 15 years because I've been able to recognize that for a good half of our, you know, partnership, I was very much-

    12. JS

      Yeah

    13. MW

      ... fully thought [laughs] that I could just get him in a meditation pose and, like, this is going to be it. Now, the more that I let go and I don't nag and I don't passive-aggressively say things, I used to be like that, still, you know-

    14. JS

      [laughs]

    15. MW

      ... we still work on the moments where it's coming out. He meditates.

    16. JS

      Totally.

    17. MW

      He's doing the things from his own free will.

    18. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    19. MW

      And I think that that's, like, the dance, right, of being the embodiment of what you would love to see within others that you love.

    20. JS

      Totally.

    21. MW

      Right?

    22. JS

      When I, when I met my wife, my wife has always had a great commitment to working out, and when we met, I was like, "I've- I'm mastering the mind. I don't really care about the body."

    23. MW

      [laughs]

    24. JS

      And, and she's a dietician, nutritionist, you know, Ayurvedic health counselor. Like sh- like she's totally about food, nutrients-

    25. MW

      Wow

    26. JS

      ... body, like everything. And she never made me feel bad that I didn't work out. All I saw was someone who worked out-

    27. MW

      Mm

    28. JS

      ... five days a week, seven days a week, committed to it, invested in her mental health, and it was just inspiring. And she also presented it to me in a way that would reach my goals. So she'd always say to me, she said, "You really care about being efficient and effective and productive." She said, "If you worked out, you'd be so much more productive. Your mind would be on another level." And I was like, "Yeah, I'm sold." Like, if it, if it can help me do that-

    29. MW

      Yeah

    30. JS

      ... then I'm in.

Episode duration: 1:17:33

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