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Jay Shetty Podcast

Jay Shetty ON: If You STRUGGLE To Find Meaning & Purpose In Life, WATCH THIS! | Ed Mylett

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour.

Ed MyletthostJay Shettyguest

Feb 24, 202341mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Creating calm from within when the world feels chaotic
Ed asks Jay how to find calm amid uncertainty and negative surprises. Jay argues that waiting for external conditions to stabilize doesn’t work, and that the goal is to create peace internally rather than search for it outside yourself.
- •Jay describes modern life as uncertain and full of unwelcome surprises
- •He says people can’t depend on the stock market, politics, or circumstances to align
- •Jay emphasizes creating calm within, not looking for it externally
- •He points to monks as examples of cultivating deep calm and happiness
Jay’s turning point: from skepticism about monks to a transformed outlook
Jay recounts his late-teen shift from being a “teacher’s pet” to rebelling, and how he reluctantly attended a monk’s talk expecting nothing. The experience humbled him and sparked a long-term fascination with what real happiness looks like.
- •Jay describes his personal shift at 14 into rebellion and experimentation
- •At 18, he questioned what a monk could teach him and went reluctantly
- •He says the moment was humbling because his expectations were proven wrong
- •Jay contrasts meeting successful people with meeting someone who felt truly happy
Testing two lives: finance internships vs. living as a monk
Jay explains how he spent summers alternating between corporate internships and monastery life, using each as a real experiment. He describes approaching both worlds without self-judgment, then choosing the monk path because it felt more fulfilling.
- •Jay followed one monk teacher closely and kept returning each summer
- •He split summers between finance-company internships and monastic living in India
- •He describes fully experiencing each environment without condemning himself
- •After graduating, he chose monastic life over banking as the more fulfilling path
“Plant trees under whose shade you do not plan to sit”: redefining service
Ed highlights a quote that stood out to him, and Jay explains why it hit him at 18. Jay frames service as using gifts without expecting reciprocity, and he shares why the monk’s personal sacrifices made the message feel credible.
- •Jay says the quote challenged his view that skills are for status, money, or approval
- •He explains the idea: true service is giving without expecting something back
- •Jay describes being moved by the monk’s credentials and decision to give up prestige
- •The story becomes a catalyst for Jay’s desire to test a service-centered life
Breaking free from being who others want: the “method acting” analogy
Ed asks how people can stop obsessing over others’ opinions, and Jay compares daily life to method acting different roles. He offers a writing exercise to identify which goals come from external influence versus what’s genuinely yours.
- •Jay compares social roles to method acting, where people forget who they are
- •He says people become who they think others want them to be
- •He suggests listing everything you’re chasing and tracing where each desire came from
- •Jay proposes asking: “Is your dream really your dream?” and keeping only what’s yours
Dharma as purpose: unlearning, inexperience, and protecting your calling
Ed brings up dharma, and Jay defines it as purpose or calling, emphasizing that it’s often more about unlearning than learning. He challenges two common messages people receive growing up and reframes feeling “stuck” as inexperience rather than inadequacy.
- •Jay defines dharma as purpose/calling/mission and says it’s about bringing out what’s already there
- •He identifies two harmful extremes: being told you’re nothing and being told you can be anything
- •Jay reframes it as: you can’t be anything you want, but you can be everything you are
- •He says people often feel unqualified when they’re actually just inexperienced
- •Jay shares a teaching: when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you
A story of purpose under pressure: inspiration from a refugee-camp coder
Jay shares a story about being told by the CEO of Instagram about a speaker who learned to code in a refugee camp and built a game aimed at reducing violence. Jay uses the story to underline the idea that purpose can be found even in difficult conditions.
- •Jay recounts a call describing a speaker who survived a refugee camp and taught himself coding
- •The speaker built a game to help people understand how not to be violent and promoted it on Facebook
- •Jay says hearing this inspired him deeply and made him want to connect with the speaker
- •He shares the story to argue that finding dharma is possible even in extreme hardship
Morning routine as “emotional armor”: making self-care practical
Ed notes how tactical Jay gets about daily habits, and Jay explains the monk structure of half self and half service. He frames a morning routine as putting on mental, emotional, and physical armor to handle a day that can feel like a battlefield.
- •Jay says monk life teaches balancing self-care and service across the day
- •He compares mornings to preparing armor before going into daily conflict and stress
- •Jay notes he feels protected when his routine is strong and weak when it isn’t
- •He connects the concept to challenges at work, in relationships, and in friendships
Two principles for habit-building: location has energy, time has memory
Jay introduces two ideas he says people underestimate: repeating practices in the same location and at the same time creates momentum. Ed responds with validation and adds a personal story about Wayne Dyer that echoes the theme of energy in spaces and objects.
- •Jay says consistent spaces accumulate the energy of repeated practice
- •He describes meditating in ancient temples as feeling easier due to long-held practice
- •He says even a small corner in a home can be dedicated to reflection or meditation
- •Jay explains that doing things at the same time daily builds “memory” in your schedule and body
- •Ed shares a story of Wayne Dyer surrounding himself with great books while writing
The TIME framework: gratitude, insight, meditation, and exercise
Jay outlines a simple structure for mornings using the acronym TIME. He explains the difference between generic and specific gratitude, encourages daily insight through reading or listening, emphasizes flexible meditation styles, and advocates making exercise playful and accessible.
- •Jay defines TIME: Thankfulness, Insight, Meditation, Exercise
- •He differentiates specific gratitude from generic gratitude and emphasizes specificity
- •He recommends daily insight through podcasts or books, making reading easier by leaving a book open and visible
- •Jay says meditation can take multiple forms and encourages finding a personal practice
- •He emphasizes moving daily and making exercise fun rather than rigid
Ego’s two extremes and the antidote of self-honesty
Ed raises the idea that low self-esteem can still be ego-driven, and Jay explains ego as swinging to extremes: either feeling superior or uniquely inferior. Jay argues that honest self-assessment—strengths and weaknesses—pulls you out of both distortions.
- •Jay describes ego as either “I’m the best” or “I’m the worst”
- •He says ego pushes extremes rather than balance and reality
- •He frames the antidote as self-honesty: what you’re great at, average at, and bad at
- •Ed connects self-centered suffering to ego, setting up the bridge to service
Finding yourself through service: shifting from self-focus to contribution
Jay expands on Ed’s point that service reduces self-centeredness and helps break ego loops. He clarifies that helping isn’t about being thanked; it’s a way to learn about yourself through real experiences, and he broadens “service” beyond charity to everyday value creation.
- •Jay says self-centeredness can lead to immersing in one’s own pain
- •He quotes the idea of finding yourself by losing yourself in service of others
- •He clarifies that helping isn’t about gratitude or reciprocity, addressing concerns of empaths
- •Jay argues you learn about yourself through helping more than through quizzes or self-analysis
- •He reframes success—including business and art—as stemming from solving problems and serving people
Balancing service with external validation: focusing on process over outcomes
Ed asks how Jay navigates wanting his work to succeed while staying grounded in service. Jay shares his fear after a viral video and explains his approach: commit fully to preparation and process while accepting that results aren’t controllable, using this as a model for performance situations like sales.
- •Ed highlights the tension between serving and caring about how you’re received
- •Jay describes feeling pressure after a viral video and temporarily stopping creation
- •He reframes the issue as living from ego vs. living in service
- •Jay says you can control preparation, process, and practice—not the result
- •He explains promoting work as giving people the opportunity to receive it, not forcing outcomes
Monk life behind the scenes: playfulness, humor, and being present
Ed asks what would surprise people about living as a monk, and Jay shares light, humanizing details. He describes playful dynamics like snoring-room arrangements and joking, along with the idea that monk life fosters being child-like (not childish) through presence.
- •Jay shares humorous details like separate snoring and non-snoring rooms
- •He describes monks joking with each other and being playful
- •Jay says monk life encourages being child-like—seeing things clearly without getting caught up
- •He notes presence reduces baggage from the past and anxiety about the future, making joy easier
A practical reset for feeling stuck: strengths check + eight new experiences
Ed asks Jay for one final gift of guidance for someone who wants to change their life but lacks confidence or direction. Jay suggests combining thinking and action: ask others to reflect your strengths, then deliberately schedule eight new experiences over a month and review what energizes you.
- •Jay says people often act without thinking or think without acting, leading to feeling stuck
- •He suggests asking a family member, friend, and colleague to identify your strengths and “superpower”
- •Jay proposes planning eight new experiences across weekends in a month (courses, events, shadowing, conversations)
- •After each experience, he recommends reflecting: did you like it, why/why not, and would you do it again?
- •He argues people evaluate food and movies quickly but fail to evaluate people, places, and projects that drain or energize them

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