Jay Shetty ON: If You STRUGGLE To Find Meaning & Purpose In Life, WATCH THIS! | Ed Mylett

Ed Mylett 0:00 I, let's start somewhere. There's 11 sort of points in the book that you go through, but I think in this time, in this day and age, with all the kind of current events that are happening in the world, one of the things you talked about in there is ways to find calm in the chaos. Could you talk a little bit about that?

Jay Shetty 0:15 Yeah, absolutely. I think we're just living in uncertain times. We're living in chaos, as you just said it.

Ed Mylett 0:21 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 0:21 We're living in times where we're constantly surprised by what's gonna happen next, and it's not a good surprise, like it's not like a birthday surprise.

Ed Mylett 0:28 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 0:28 It's, it's a negative surprise sometimes.

Ed Mylett 0:30 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 0:31 And I think what's happened is that we've started to recognize, and I really trust the people listening and watching right now, we've started to realize that the answer is not gonna come from outside of us. We can't just keep waiting for suddenly the stock market to be perfectly aligned. We can't keep waiting for the political climate or the environment to be perfectly aligned.

Ed Mylett 0:50 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 0:50 What we need to do is find and, more importantly, not just find, but create that peace-

Ed Mylett 0:55 Mm

Jay Shetty 0:55 ... and that calm within us.

Ed Mylett 0:56 Mm.

Jay Shetty 0:57 And that's why I talk about thinking like a monk-

Ed Mylett 0:59 Mm

Jay Shetty 0:59 ... because when you look at the brains of monks across the world, they have the calmest, happiest brains on planet Earth.

Ed Mylett 1:06 Amazing, yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:07 And I wanna give people access to how to have that because when you start getting access to that, now you don't need the weather to be perfect.

Ed Mylett 1:15 Wow.

Jay Shetty 1:15 Now you don't need to wait for everyone to give you love every single day. Now you're not dependent-

Ed Mylett 1:21 Mm

Jay Shetty 1:21 ... on anything outside of you, but you recognize that you can create calm.

Ed Mylett 1:25 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:26 You're not going to look for calm.

Ed Mylett 1:27 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:27 And so that's the perspective that I want people to take.

Ed Mylett 1:30 It's beautiful. I was reading in the book where you're talking about these monks, they actually measure their gamma waves, even at sleep.

Jay Shetty 1:36 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 1:36 And they are higher-

Jay Shetty 1:37 Yes

Ed Mylett 1:37 ... than everybody else, right? And there's-

Jay Shetty 1:38 Than everybody else.

Ed Mylett 1:39 And so you tapped into this. Ironically, you graduate from college. They just need to know the background on this, as I understand it anyway. And kind of in your family [laughs] say, it's sort of like you're a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure, right? And-

Jay Shetty 1:52 Yeah. Those are my three options. Yeah. [laughs]

Ed Mylett 1:53 [laughs] And you end up graduating, but y- before even, at graduation, you go away and go live with the monks, right?

Jay Shetty 2:00 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 2:00 You literally... How did you make this decision, and what overall would you say was the, the impact that happened to you while you did that?

Jay Shetty 2:06 Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, a bit of background. I grew up a teacher's pet until the age of 14. So I was an obedient kid, probably like the perfect son, worked really hard at school, and then at 14, I went the opposite way. I started rebelling.

Ed Mylett 2:19 Mm.

Jay Shetty 2:19 I started experimenting with everything under the sun.

Ed Mylett 2:22 Mm.

Jay Shetty 2:22 And at 18, I was at this interesting point, and I think everyone is. When, if you think back to being 18, and everyone who's listening and watching, think about being 18 years old again and how impressionable you were and what kind of decisions you were making. I used to go and listen to CEOs, entrepreneurs, experts, celebrities speak.

Ed Mylett 2:38 Mm.

Jay Shetty 2:38 And once I was invited to hear a monk speak, and I thought to myself, "What am I gonna learn from a monk?" Like, there's nothing to learn from a monk.

Ed Mylett 2:45 Mm.

Jay Shetty 2:45 Like, what's he gonna teach me, how to be silent? Like, who cares?

Ed Mylett 2:48 Mm.

Jay Shetty 2:48 And I said to my friends, I would only go if we went to a bar afterwards. Like, that was my like-

Ed Mylett 2:54 [laughs] Oh, look

Jay Shetty 2:54 ... I was like, I want an invite thing. I was like-

Ed Mylett 2:55 Okay, that, that describes where you really were.

Jay Shetty 2:57 Literally.

Ed Mylett 2:57 Okay. Okay.

Jay Shetty 2:57 That, that describes where I was genuinely at. I'm not making this up. And I end up going, and this is what I love about that moment. The best moments in your life are sometimes the most humbling ones.

Ed Mylett 3:07 True.

Jay Shetty 3:08 I was humbled-

Ed Mylett 3:09 Mm

Jay Shetty 3:09 ... because I went into that environment expecting to get nothing-

Ed Mylett 3:12 Mm

Jay Shetty 3:12 ... and having my life transformed. So what ended up happening is-

Ed Mylett 3:15 Wow. Wow

Jay Shetty 3:15 ... I felt, and you've probably felt this when

Jay Shetty 3:18 you've, when you meet people-

Ed Mylett 3:19 Mm

Jay Shetty 3:19 ... when I was 18, I'd met people who were beautiful. I'd met people who were powerful. I'd met people who were rich. I'd met people who were famous. I'd met people who were successful, but I don't think I'd met anyone who was truly happy.

Ed Mylett 3:31 Mm.

Jay Shetty 3:32 And even now, if I asked you-

Ed Mylett 3:33 You're right

Jay Shetty 3:33 ... to count on your hand how many people you know that are truly content, satisfied, and happy, I think we'd struggle.

Ed Mylett 3:39 Absolutely.

Jay Shetty 3:39 And I felt that from him at 18, and the great thing is I know him now. I've known him for the last 14 years, this, this particular monk. His name's Gaurangadas. I talk about him-

Ed Mylett 3:46 Yes

Jay Shetty 3:46 ... in the book. He's still the same.

Ed Mylett 3:48 Really?

Jay Shetty 3:49 And so he's maintained that. And so I started getting fascinated with him, so I spent every summer vacation with him-

Ed Mylett 3:54 Mm

Jay Shetty 3:54 ... from age 18 to age 22.

Ed Mylett 3:57 Mm.

Jay Shetty 3:57 Every summer vacation, I would spend half of it interning at big finance companies, steakhouses, bars, fancy suits, and I'd spend the other half living as a monk in India.

Ed Mylett 4:07 That's remarkable.

Jay Shetty 4:08 Robes, sleeping on the floor, and meditating.

Ed Mylett 4:10 My gosh.

Jay Shetty 4:11 And then when I graduated, I decided that the monk path was more fulfilling than the banking path, and so I chose it.

Ed Mylett 4:18 What a remarkable young life.

Jay Shetty 4:19 It was, it was my first, like, experiment, you know?

Ed Mylett 4:22 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 4:22 It's like you're literally testing, and, and I never judged myself, and that's what I love about-

Ed Mylett 4:26 Mm

Jay Shetty 4:26 ... being able to live life in that way. Like, I didn't judge myself when I was at the monastery. I was, I wasn't like, "Oh, no, I was just drinking last week. I can't do this."

Ed Mylett 4:33 Mm.

Jay Shetty 4:33 And then when I was out there with the guys, I wasn't like, "Oh, no, I should be meditating." I was just like, "Let me really experience each life to its fullest-

Ed Mylett 4:41 Wow

Jay Shetty 4:41 ... and then I can decide which one really fills me with joy."

Ed Mylett 4:45 It's amazing that you're talking to most because just this week I was on a show. They said, "What topic would you like to cover above any other?" They left it open to me, and I said, "I think it should be happiness."

Jay Shetty 4:52 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 4:53 Because it's so rare for most people in the world today. People have asked me on the show... When I started the show, I was fascinated 'cause you, your shows had 54 million downloads the first year, right? And people say, "What do the people that you interview have in common?" They're some of my best friends. Some of your best friends are on your show.

Ed Mylett 5:10 And I thought, "Well, I wonder when I do it, is it gonna be their drive, their ingenuity, their charisma, their work ethic, their brilliance?" And many of them have all of those qualities. But I think you would agree with me that even top performers that we work with, some of them have a touch of not so happy going on in their life.

Jay Shetty 5:26 Mm.

Ed Mylett 5:26 Even the people that you think have their whole world together, they too seek happiness, and w- I'll be honest with you. Because I'm such a fan of yours, I thought, "Well, what," I, almost like what you thought, "what do I have to learn from you about happiness from the monk perspective?"

Jay Shetty 5:41 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 5:41 I didn't think the same, and as I started to read the book, first, there were many revelations for me.

Jay Shetty 5:45 Wow.

Ed Mylett 5:46 Secondly, there were some things in the book that I think I do practice pretty well, but the way you phrase it and position it is beautiful, as y- as is your norm. So one of the things you say early in the book, you talk about selfless sacrifice, and there's this great quote that I'll mess up in there that one of the monks had shared with you-

Jay Shetty 6:02 Yeah

Ed Mylett 6:03 ... about that in the shade that you don't want to sit in-

Jay Shetty 6:05 Yeah

Ed Mylett 6:05 ... plant the tree, right?

Jay Shetty 6:06 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's-

Ed Mylett 6:07 Can you talk about that?

Jay Shetty 6:08 Yeah, the statement, this was the statement that when I'm sitting in that room as an 18-year-old thinking about going to a bar-

Ed Mylett 6:13 Mm

Jay Shetty 6:13 ... this was that statement that penetrated my heart, and I was like, "Oh."

Ed Mylett 6:17 Mm.

Jay Shetty 6:17 Because so- He was making the point that if you have any gifts, and if you have any talents in the world, if you're not using them in the service of others-

Ed Mylett 6:28 Yes

Jay Shetty 6:28 ... they're worth nothing. And that's a very bold point, and the way he put it, and he was quoting another writer, and he wrote that, "Plant trees under whose shade you do not plan to sit." And what that means is most of us plant trees or we do things for people because we're expecting that one day they're gonna reciprocate and do something back for us.

Ed Mylett 6:48 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 6:48 And he was like, "Real service is when you do things for people that can't do anything back for you at that time, and you're not expecting anything."

Ed Mylett 6:56 Mm.

Jay Shetty 6:57 And for me, for my 18-year-old mind, I was like, "Oh, I thought my skills were just to impress women and, and make money-

Ed Mylett 7:02 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 7:03 ... and, you know, just do what everyone else does." And when he was talking about selfless sacrifice and service, I was like, "I wanna test that." Because either this man is a genius or he's completely crazy.

Ed Mylett 7:13 Mm.

Jay Shetty 7:14 But if he's given up... And he went to IIT, so he went to the Indian Institute of Technology, one of the best universities in the world.

Ed Mylett 7:19 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:20 He was, like, a number one student, and he gave that all up to be a monk.

Ed Mylett 7:24 Wow.

Jay Shetty 7:25 So I was like-

Ed Mylett 7:25 Mm

Jay Shetty 7:26 ... there's something there, because you don't just give that up.

Ed Mylett 7:28 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:28 Especially in India, the pressure to perform and to be a top grade student is so high-

Ed Mylett 7:33 Mm

Jay Shetty 7:33 ... that to walk away from that, like, his family and everyone would have just completely... So I was like, "I wanna follow that path."

Ed Mylett 7:38 Wow. Bro, I'm fascinated by you.

Jay Shetty 7:41 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 7:41 Because I, as, now that I'm in your presence, everyone should know that Jay and I have communicated for a very long time. We have tons of mutual friends, but we have... Rare on the show-

Jay Shetty 7:48 Yeah

Ed Mylett 7:48 ... that I'm in the presence of somebody, and y- I, I feel your energy-

Jay Shetty 7:52 Thank you, man

Ed Mylett 7:52 ... when you speak about this. I think I had this impression that someone who's sort of monk-related-

Jay Shetty 7:57 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 7:57 ... is just sort of just... There's this feeling I get that's just, it's strong peace, but it's strong too. There's an energy about you. And one of the things that I think that you eventually overcame, that you talk about beautifully in the book, and I see every day, people ask me often, there's all these memes out there.

Jay Shetty 8:12 Mm.

Ed Mylett 8:12 We all hear, "Hey, you know, what everyone's opinion about you is none of your business."

Jay Shetty 8:15 Yes.

Ed Mylett 8:16 But people really struggle with finding a pathway to happiness because they are borderline obsessed with the thoughts and opinions of other people.

Jay Shetty 8:24 Mm-hmm.

Ed Mylett 8:25 And you discuss that a little bit too. How would you tell someone who's struggling with this, which is 99% of the people who are listening to this-

Jay Shetty 8:32 Yeah

Ed Mylett 8:32 ... how they might deal with that or o- overcome it?

Jay Shetty 8:34 Yeah, I give this analogy in the book about how we're all like method actors. So I'm a big movie fan, like I'm a big movie fan. And so for me, some of my favorite actors are, like, Heath Ledger, who played-

Ed Mylett 8:44 Mm

Jay Shetty 8:44 ... the Joker in The Dark Knight. Uh, you've got Daniel Day-Lewis, who's an incredible method actor. Now, I talk about in the book how Daniel Day Lewis, at some points, he was wearing the clothes for Gangs of New York in his normal life, to the point that he even got pneumonia in his normal life because he was wearing these old, raggedy clothes.

Jay Shetty 9:04 And he goes, at one point he almost went crazy pretending to be someone that he wasn't.

Ed Mylett 9:09 Mm.

Jay Shetty 9:09 Now, when I heard that and I read that, I thought, "Wow, isn't that all of us?" Like, you wear a certain role to work, you wear a certain role at home, you wear a certain role with your friends.

Ed Mylett 9:18 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 9:19 And in playing all those roles, you end up method acting and forgetting who you are.

Ed Mylett 9:23 Oh, my goodness, that is beautiful.

Jay Shetty 9:24 And, and for me, that's what I'm just seeing across and in and of myself.

Ed Mylett 9:28 Me too.

Jay Shetty 9:28 And I see myself do that.

Ed Mylett 9:29 Mm.

Jay Shetty 9:29 I become, you become who you think other people want you to be.

Ed Mylett 9:33 Mm.

Jay Shetty 9:33 And so for me, the first step in that is writing down everything you're chasing right now. Like, this is a great strategy and a tool-

Ed Mylett 9:40 Yeah

Jay Shetty 9:40 ... and if anyone's listening or watching-

Ed Mylett 9:41 Yeah

Jay Shetty 9:41 ... get a pen and paper. If you're not, take a screenshot of this time code right now and come back to this-

Ed Mylett 9:45 Yeah

Jay Shetty 9:45 ... because I want you to sit down and I want you to write down everything you're chasing right now, whatever it is. Make that list. Second question: Where did that idea come from? Did that idea come from your mom, your dad, your friend, your brother? Did that idea come from me or Ed? Did that idea come from, I don't know, some book that you read? Like, did that idea come from your heart and your mind, or was it born because it was influenced by your friend who just got promoted?

Ed Mylett 10:11 Yes.

Jay Shetty 10:11 Your friend who just got proposed to?

Ed Mylett 10:13 Mm.

Jay Shetty 10:13 Your friend who just sold their company for $100 million? Like, is that, was that the reason?

Ed Mylett 10:18 Boy.

Jay Shetty 10:19 Because then that may not be your dream.

Ed Mylett 10:20 Boy.

Jay Shetty 10:21 And then the third question you have to ask yourself is, is this my dream? Or this is the question: Is your dream really your dream?

Ed Mylett 10:29 Mm.

Jay Shetty 10:30 And when you go through that exercise, you wanna keep the stuff that's yours-

Ed Mylett 10:33 Mm

Jay Shetty 10:34 ... and you wanna distance yourself from the stuff that's not.

Ed Mylett 10:36 What incredible advice. You know, I'm a little... Bro, I gotta tell you, there's such wisdom for such a young man. I'm a little bit further down the road age-wise, right?

Jay Shetty 10:44 And wisdom-wise.

Ed Mylett 10:45 No.

Jay Shetty 10:45 And wisdom-wise.

Ed Mylett 10:46 Cer- cer-

Jay Shetty 10:46 I'm excited to learn from you a lot, man, so

Ed Mylett 10:48 ... certainly, certainly not, but I appreciate you saying that.

Jay Shetty 10:50 I mean it.

Ed Mylett 10:51 But I can, I can validate what you've just said. I'm, I think dream catching in your life can become something that gains momentum as you vibrate a little bit higher frequency.

Jay Shetty 11:00 Wow.

Ed Mylett 11:00 You can begin to attract things, and I'm a big believer in that. And I have many times achieved a dream or two that when I got there was completely empty. And every time that I got to those dreams and they were empty, they were not my dreams. They were something that I thought someone else wanted me to do or something that I saw someone else have that I thought I wanted, a place, a destination, a home, something. And you're 100% right, but the times when I've got clear on things that I really wanted, that really mattered to me, and when they were good enough that they materialized in my life, what great joy they've brought me, and they're usually extremely simple things-

Jay Shetty 11:34 Yeah

Ed Mylett 11:34 ... as you illustrate as well.

Jay Shetty 11:35 Exactly. I love hearing

Jay Shetty 11:36 you say that.

Ed Mylett 11:36 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 11:36 And it's nice to get validated on that because I think you've achieved so much in your life, and it's incredible to see what you've achieved. And I, and I think that's what people forget, is that the things that y- bring you joy-

Ed Mylett 11:46 Yeah

Jay Shetty 11:47 ... are because you achieved what you wanted to achieve.

Ed Mylett 11:49 Let's talk about that for a minute. You talk about dharma a little bit.

Jay Shetty 11:51 Mm-hmm.

Ed Mylett 11:51 How do you figure that part out in your life?

Jay Shetty 11:54 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 11:54 Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 11:54 So dharma's a, a fascinating concept.

Ed Mylett 11:56 Yes.

Jay Shetty 11:57 I absolutely love it.

Ed Mylett 11:58 Love it.

Jay Shetty 11:58 And the loose language terminology for it is purpose or calling-

Ed Mylett 12:03 Mm

Jay Shetty 12:03 ... or your mission and vision in life, like what are you meant to do. It's kind of like what you're meant to do.

Ed Mylett 12:09 Mm.

Jay Shetty 12:10 And the thing about dharma is dharma talks about how we think we have to learn lots of stuff, when actually dharma is unlearning and bringing out what you already have.

Ed Mylett 12:20 Whoa.

Jay Shetty 12:20 So one of the things I mention in the book is that- You can't be anything ... There, there's, there's two lies we've been told growing up. The first lie is you're nothing. You're stupid. You're worthless. You're not gonna make it. And I'm sure many people listening or watching have heard that from teachers, parents, aunts, uncles, whoever it is. And then the other lie that we're actually told, and I don't think it's a lie, I think it's positive, but sometimes it's misconstrued, is you can be anything.

Ed Mylett 12:46 Right.

Jay Shetty 12:47 And, and we all know that's not true, too.

Ed Mylett 12:50 Right.

Jay Shetty 12:50 And, and it's unfair because sometimes people get misled.

Ed Mylett 12:53 You're exactly right.

Jay Shetty 12:54 And the Dharma point of view is you can't be anything you want, but you can be everything you are.

Ed Mylett 13:00 Oh.

Jay Shetty 13:01 And what I mean by that is you have a genius, a potential, a power inside of you that you don't know yet. Why? Because you're inexperienced. It's not that you're unqualified, it's you're inexperienced. So people are saying, "I'm stuck. I don't know where my life's going. I don't know what my purpose is." So you're perceiving yourself to be unqualified or underqualified. Actually, you're just inexperienced. You just haven't done enough things to let the magnet of your life tell you what it's attracted to.

Ed Mylett 13:31 Whoa.

Jay Shetty 13:31 So for me, that's what Dharma is encouraging people to do, and this beautiful verse from this Vedic text, a monk text called the Manusmriti, and it says that when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you.

Ed Mylett 13:45 Oh.

Jay Shetty 13:45 And what I love about that, and you'll appreciate this because I know you're someone that I feel is living this-

Ed Mylett 13:50 Thank you

Jay Shetty 13:51 ... a purpose is like a rare gem, and you have to protect it.

Ed Mylett 13:54 Mm.

Jay Shetty 13:55 People will tell you that gem is worthless. They'll tell you that that gem is not gonna make it. They'll tell you that that gem, that jewel, has no value, and that's why you have to protect your own purpose because the world is gonna constantly try and pull you away from it. So Dharma is a re- it's not a belief system, it's a fact that-

Ed Mylett 14:12 Yeah

Jay Shetty 14:12 ... you've got skills, genius, potential. It's sitting inside of you, and you have not seen it yet. And I've seen this across the board. I literally just got a call from the-

Ed Mylett 14:22 Wow

Jay Shetty 14:22 ... I got a call from the CEO of Instagram probably about s- three to six months ago. So, uh, it's been a while now. And she called me up and she said, "Jay, we just had..." I don't think I've told this story anywhere-

Ed Mylett 14:32 Yeah, yeah

Jay Shetty 14:32 ... so you've sparked it out of me. But she goes, "We've just had this call..." Uh, sorry, "We've just had this talk from this speaker that we brought in, and this speaker spent years in a refugee camp."

Ed Mylett 14:44 Mm.

Jay Shetty 14:45 "And in this refugee camp, not only did he figure out how to survive, he actually got his mother to save up for a computer and he coded a game. He taught himself how to code, and he coded a game that helps people

Jay Shetty 15:01 understand how not to be violent in a refugee camp."

Ed Mylett 15:04 Oh my gosh.

Jay Shetty 15:04 And then he used Facebook to promote it.

Ed Mylett 15:07 My gosh.

Jay Shetty 15:08 And they said, "We were so inspired by him that we brought him in to speak to Instagram and Facebook. And then we asked him the question, we asked him, 'What has had the impact on you? Like h- what kept you inspired?'" And this guy goes, he goes, "Oh, I used to watch this guy called Jay Shetty on Facebook." And, and, and literally when she told me that, and she said literally the whole audience was in tears at his story.

Ed Mylett 15:29 Mm.

Jay Shetty 15:29 And I said to her, I said, "I need to talk to him right away because I need to tell him." I'm like, "Dude, you've just inspired me."

Ed Mylett 15:34 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 15:34 Like my, like I'm like, "Dude, your life is way harder than mine's ever been."

Ed Mylett 15:39 Mm.

Jay Shetty 15:40 And if you can realize that you have the potential in a refugee camp to teach yourself how to code-

Ed Mylett 15:45 Mm

Jay Shetty 15:45 ... and to help people not be violent, I mean, you're inspiring more lives. His name's Loual Mayen. I'm like, "Dude, you're inspiring so many more lives than I ever..." Like, it's just beautiful.

Ed Mylett 15:55 Beautiful.

Jay Shetty 15:55 And to me, that story, I'm not sharing it to s- show-

Ed Mylett 15:57 Yes

Jay Shetty 15:57 ... my role in his life, I'm sharing it because I'm like if he can find a way-

Ed Mylett 16:01 Absolutely

Jay Shetty 16:01 ... to find his Dharma-

Ed Mylett 16:02 Yes

Jay Shetty 16:02 ... then we haven't got any excuses.

Ed Mylett 16:03 Brother, that's ma- it's funny.

Jay Shetty 16:05 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 16:05 Be- right before you told the story about him-

Jay Shetty 16:07 Yeah

Ed Mylett 16:07 ... I was going to tell you that it's so obvious to me that you're in your home, and that's perfect evidence of it. It's so obvious to me as I sit next to you. And I... The book, guys, I want you to get this book. It, it has my full endorsement, and the reason it does, first off, is because this man that you're hearing these incredible words from wrote it. But it's, it's a unique book because it talks about these principles that are eternally true, but there's also, like, what I would call fundamental strategy. I was gonna say basic, but it's not basic, it's fundamental strategies. I was surprised in a book that talks so much about happiness that you get as granular as a morning routine.

Jay Shetty 16:45 Yeah, yeah, yeah [laughs] .

Ed Mylett 16:46 Right? Which I'm a huge believer of.

Jay Shetty 16:48 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 16:48 And I think sometimes... But you do it differently.

Jay Shetty 16:51 Right.

Ed Mylett 16:51 And so I only gonna go through a few things about it 'cause we want them to read the book.

Jay Shetty 16:54 Yeah [laughs] .

Ed Mylett 16:54 Right? But, like, just so you know, guys, we're at 1%, less than 1%-

Jay Shetty 16:57 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 16:57 ... of the book so far.

Jay Shetty 16:58 You're very kind.

Ed Mylett 16:59 But it's true. But so talk a little bit just tactically for a second-

Jay Shetty 17:02 Yeah, yeah

Ed Mylett 17:02 ... about importance of it and, and the way that you perceive a morning routine.

Jay Shetty 17:06 Yeah. So the beautiful thing about monk life is half the day is self and half the day is service.

Ed Mylett 17:12 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 17:12 That's how you're taught to live.

Ed Mylett 17:13 Okay.

Jay Shetty 17:14 So the morning hours are for you to fill yourself. It's almost like putting on mental, emotional, and physical armor. Like, that's what a morning routine is. Our days are tiring. Our days are busy.

Ed Mylett 17:26 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 17:26 Our days are draining. Well, guess what? If you didn't put your armor on in the morning-

Ed Mylett 17:30 Boy, oh boy

Jay Shetty 17:31 ... and you're going out to battle, how many knives are gonna cut you?

Ed Mylett 17:34 Mm.

Jay Shetty 17:34 How many swords are gonna pierce you?

Ed Mylett 17:36 Mm.

Jay Shetty 17:37 How many wounds are you gonna come home with? How many of you come back home feeling wounded?

Ed Mylett 17:41 Mm.

Jay Shetty 17:41 I come back home feeling wounded sometimes.

Ed Mylett 17:43 Often.

Jay Shetty 17:43 But guess what? If you put your armor on in the morning, a warrior would never go out onto a battlefield, and life can be a battlefield.

Ed Mylett 17:52 Mm.

Jay Shetty 17:52 Work can be full of conflict sometimes.

Ed Mylett 17:54 Mm.

Jay Shetty 17:54 Your relationships can be damaging sometimes. Your friendships can be toxic sometimes. So we are warriors in one sense.

Ed Mylett 18:00 Sure.

Jay Shetty 18:01 And so without wearing that... So for me, a morning routine is putting on emotional armor-

Ed Mylett 18:07 Whoa

Jay Shetty 18:07 ... which is meant to protect you for the rest of the day.

Ed Mylett 18:10 Mm.

Jay Shetty 18:10 And that way even if you do get pierced, or you do get popped, or you do get cut-

Ed Mylett 18:15 Yeah

Jay Shetty 18:15 ... you're protected.

Ed Mylett 18:16 Mm.

Jay Shetty 18:17 And I know that when I, my morning routine is at its best, I feel protected.

Ed Mylett 18:20 I know exactly what you mean.

Jay Shetty 18:21 Whereas when my morning routine is weakened-

Ed Mylett 18:23 Mm

Jay Shetty 18:23 ... I feel weak.

Ed Mylett 18:24 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 18:25 And so for me, the morning routine, as I get strategic about it-

Ed Mylett 18:27 Mm

Jay Shetty 18:27 ... there's two principles you have to know Location has energy and time has memory. If you do something in the same place every day, that place now holds that energy. And this is huge.

Ed Mylett 18:42 Whoa.

Jay Shetty 18:42 Like, it's, it's just so big, and I'm, I'm grateful for that reaction-

Ed Mylett 18:45 Yeah

Jay Shetty 18:45 ... because people don't realize how, how powerful this is. Like, when I meditated in temples-

Ed Mylett 18:50 Mm

Jay Shetty 18:50 ... that were 5,000 years old in South India-

Ed Mylett 18:52 Mm

Jay Shetty 18:53 ... it was easier to meditate, because people have been meditating there for thousands of years.

Ed Mylett 18:57 Wow, that's so good.

Jay Shetty 18:58 And so when you find a space in your home, and even if you've got ... Like, I lived in a 500 square foot apartment in New York-

Ed Mylett 19:04 Mm

Jay Shetty 19:04 ... four years ago.

Ed Mylett 19:05 Mm.

Jay Shetty 19:05 And I just had a tiny corner which I dedicated to my sacred practices.

Ed Mylett 19:10 Mm.

Jay Shetty 19:11 So if you ... You don't have to have a big home to do this. You don't have to be wealthy to do this. You can find just a corner in your home-

Ed Mylett 19:16 Wow

Jay Shetty 19:16 ... that you dedicate as your meditation space or your reflection space. So first thing, location has energy. Second thing-

Ed Mylett 19:23 Boss

Jay Shetty 19:23 ... time has memory.

Ed Mylett 19:25 Mm.

Jay Shetty 19:25 And this is something that people underestimate. When you do something at the same time every day, you remember it and time remembers it. That's why we struggle to work out at different times every day. It's why we struggle. Like, why do we feel hungry at the same time every day? Generally, we feel hungry at the same time. Most people, if you've got a regulated diet, you will feel hungry. You will feel tired at the same time every day. You will look towards that Coke can or that sugar or that chocolate bar at the same time every day.

Ed Mylett 19:54 Mm.

Jay Shetty 19:54 And so when you're meditating at the same time, if you're exercising at the same time. So what I recommend to people-

Ed Mylett 19:58 Ah, wow. Wow

Jay Shetty 19:59 ... is your morning routine needs four aspects, and it's simple, and I call it time. It's about making time in the day.

Ed Mylett 20:07 Okay.

Jay Shetty 20:07 So time stands for T-I-M-E. T stands for thankfulness. There needs to be, even if it's five minutes, five minutes of thankfulness, of gratitude every single morning,

Jay Shetty 20:19 and that has to be gratitude that's specific. It can't be gratitude that's generic. So generic gratitude is something that anyone could be grateful for. Oh, I'm grateful for the sky. I'm grateful for air. I'm grateful for water. That's cool, but it's generic gratitude. Specific gratitude is I'm grateful for the fact that I have someone calling me this morning. I'm grateful for the fact that I can still call my parents. I'm grateful for the fact that I have this person in my business who is having such an impact. I'm grateful ... You know, it's specific.

Ed Mylett 20:52 Specificity.

Jay Shetty 20:52 Yeah, so thankfulness. Second one is insight. I think this is one thing that a lot of people are missing, which I recommend people listening to you, it's like podcasts, books. And, and make it easier for yourself. If you get this book, leave it open on your bedside table. Leave it open on your kitchen table. Leave it open on your dining table. I guarantee you, you will read more, and what you read will speak to you. And I think people underestimate that, that literally, like, when you have it open, and you just flick to a chapter randomly, and you pick up one line, it will impact you, and it will speak to you. So insight, you need insight every day.

Ed Mylett 21:27 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:27 M is meditation, and I believe meditation's different for different people. As monks, we did walking meditations. We did beach meditations. We did visualizations. We did breathwork. Find your meditation practice. I give a ton in the book. And fourth, obviously exercise, which you can speak to even more than I can.

Ed Mylett 21:43 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 21:43 I exercise to keep fit. You look amazing too though.

Ed Mylett 21:45 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 21:45 But it's, uh, exercise. Everyone needs to find five minutes a day-

Ed Mylett 21:50 Mm

Jay Shetty 21:50 ... 15 minutes a day of exercise-

Ed Mylett 21:51 Mm

Jay Shetty 21:52 ... that can just get them moving. And guess what? If you like sport, play sport with a friend.

Ed Mylett 21:56 Mm.

Jay Shetty 21:56 If you wanna shoot hoops, go and shoot hoops.

Ed Mylett 21:58 Mm.

Jay Shetty 21:58 You don't have to sit on a treadmill. No one's telling you to do that.

Ed Mylett 22:01 Mm.

Jay Shetty 22:01 Make it fun and playful.

Ed Mylett 22:03 Brother, I've ... You know, I've been in personal development and business entrepreneur space for a long time. Those are two gigantic revelations that I've never heard before. I, I, I'm telling you that that, for me, in the book, right, I'm reading it, and I, I literally stopped the book, and I brought both my kids in, and we talked about this idea of that space having an energy to it. And I wanna validate it because I just think you're incredible. I just ... Everybody, this is why I want you to get the book, and it's why if you're not, you must be following Jay on these different platforms, not just one either. You need to be on his YouTube. You need to be on his Instagram, his Facebook. But I was ... I'll g- I'll share this with you because I'm sure he's a hero of yours. When I was very young ... Well, when I was younger, actually about your age-

Jay Shetty 22:43 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 22:43 ... ironically, I'm running on the beach in Hawaii, and, um, it's early in the morning, so I did my morning run, speaking about exercise, and passing me by on the beach was this man. I saw him from a distance. Anyway, he gets by me, and he starts to go the other way, and it was Wayne Dyer.

Jay Shetty 22:56 Oh, wow.

Ed Mylett 22:56 Right, who I-

Jay Shetty 22:57 Love Wayne Dyer, yeah.

Ed Mylett 22:58 And, and, and a lot of people listening to this probably don't know who Wayne is.

Jay Shetty 23:00 Oh, Wayne Dyer, you should check ... I mean, you can't ...

Ed Mylett 23:01 He's, yeah, right.

Jay Shetty 23:02 He's not alive anymore. You should check out Wayne Dyer's work.

Ed Mylett 23:04 He, he-

Jay Shetty 23:04 His books are unbelievable

Ed Mylett 23:05 ... he's one of the godfathers of ... I mean, he, he was somebody that really made an impact. I end up getting a chance, long story short, sitting on the beach with him for about an hour as the sun comes up, talking about life. You talk about-

Jay Shetty 23:15 Wow

Ed Mylett 23:15 ... just the two of us, right? However, one of the principles he taught me that day, and you articulate it, quite frankly, more beautifully and more specifically than even he did, but I wanna validate it again because these are things that you're not getting on any other podcast, is what Jay and I are talking about right now. And he asked me, he said, "Are you gonna write a book, and do you prepare speeches?" I said, "I do," and he says, "One of the things I do is I have lots of the greatest books in the world surround me when I write."

Jay Shetty 23:39 Mm.

Ed Mylett 23:39 "Because these books have that time and energy in them."

Jay Shetty 23:41 Yes.

Ed Mylett 23:41 And he believed that it gave him the great wisdom of all of these people when he just surrounded himself in that familiar space.

Jay Shetty 23:47 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 23:48 So for you to now put this in your book about a morning routine is remarkable, 'cause that was just a passing thought that's really written nowhere. So-

Jay Shetty 23:55 Wow

Ed Mylett 23:56 ... thank God for you, bro

Jay Shetty 23:56 ... I appreciate that, man.

Ed Mylett 23:57 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 23:57 And, and you just sparked actually Phil Knight-

Ed Mylett 23:59 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 23:59 ... Shoe Dog.

Ed Mylett 24:00 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 24:00 But, you know, Nike, it's like he, he talks about how he actually has a room where he keeps his books, like a library.

Ed Mylett 24:08 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 24:08 But he takes his shoes off when he enters that room because of the wisdom and the weight and the energy and the gravitas he believes books hold. And so even as monks, we would never wear shoes around books because it was considered shoes are dirty, and you wear them outdoors, and books are so pure that you don't want to take dirt into that space.

Ed Mylett 24:26 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 24:26 And, and supposedly Phil Knight, he does the same thing. And I was like, "Phil Knight's thinking like a monk."

Ed Mylett 24:31 So he's a monk.

Jay Shetty 24:32 Like, yeah, he's thinking like a monk. [laughs]

Ed Mylett 24:33 [laughs] That's so cool.

Jay Shetty 24:34 But it's just so interesting what you're saying about-

Ed Mylett 24:35 Yeah

Jay Shetty 24:35 ... like, books holding energy.

Ed Mylett 24:37 Yes.

Jay Shetty 24:37 Like, we believe that books are sacred. You don't kick books.

Ed Mylett 24:39 Mm.

Jay Shetty 24:39 You don't keep books on the floor because they have knowledge, and they're meant to raise you up. So-

Ed Mylett 24:44 Wow

Jay Shetty 24:44 ... yeah.

Ed Mylett 24:45 Wow. Wow.

Jay Shetty 24:46 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 24:46 There's so much in there. I wanna go through a couple more things-

Jay Shetty 24:48 Yeah

Ed Mylett 24:48 ... because I want them to have the book, but I'm so fascinated by you. I got a couple personal things-

Jay Shetty 24:52 Let's do it, man

Ed Mylett 24:52 ... I wanted to do. But, but one of the things you say in the book, I've said this before, and again, I just like the way you approach it with more depth than I've covered it before. I just said this this week to somebody. They looked at me like I was crazy, and I talked about, I said, "Some of your low self-esteem and your lack of confidence is actually an ego issue that you have."

Jay Shetty 25:08 Mm.

Ed Mylett 25:08 And the person stared back at me like, "How in the world is someone with no con- or low confidence or low self-esteem struggling from an ego issue?"

Jay Shetty 25:16 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 25:16 And I don't know that I articulated it well enough, although it's in one of the podcasts that I've released, one of my solo podcasts, but you articulate it-

Jay Shetty 25:23 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 25:24 ... right on.

Jay Shetty 25:24 I-

Ed Mylett 25:24 So talk about that for a second.

Jay Shetty 25:26 Yeah, so it, it's a we- it's an interesting concept-

Ed Mylett 25:28 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 25:28 ... and it's talked about in the Bhagavad Gita-

Ed Mylett 25:29 Yeah

Jay Shetty 25:29 ... another monk text. And, and in the book it talks about how, like, ego is demonstrated in two ways. So ego is either, "I am the best in the world, and I think I'm better than everyone."

Ed Mylett 25:42 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 25:43 Or ego says, "You're the worst in the world. You're the worst than everyone. You're, you're much worse than everyone." Or you say, "My life is the best and the greatest," "My life is the worst," right?

Ed Mylett 25:55 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 25:55 "My life is far worse than anyone else." So the ego likes to push you to the extreme.

Ed Mylett 26:01 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 26:01 It doesn't like to give you balance and honesty and reality. It likes to, it wants to make you feel like you've got the worst life in the world, and no one else understands it, and no one gets that. Only you get it, and you get the worst. Or you're the best, and no one else gets you. You're, you're untouchable.

Ed Mylett 26:14 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 26:15 And, and people miss that.

Ed Mylett 26:16 Yes.

Jay Shetty 26:16 They're like, "How does that make sense?" Exactly like you said.

Ed Mylett 26:18 Yes. Yeah.

Jay Shetty 26:18 But it does make sense-

Ed Mylett 26:19 Yes

Jay Shetty 26:20 ... because the ego wants to be the top or the bottom.

Ed Mylett 26:23 Bottom.

Jay Shetty 26:24 But the top of the bottom.

Ed Mylett 26:25 Yes.

Jay Shetty 26:25 It doesn't just wanna be at the bottom.

Ed Mylett 26:26 It's gotta be the bottom-

Jay Shetty 26:26 It wants to be at the to-

Ed Mylett 26:27 ... of the bottom

Jay Shetty 26:27 ... yeah. It's gotta be the bottom of the bottom of the bottom.

Ed Mylett 26:29 Wow. Ve-

Jay Shetty 26:29 But the top of the bottom, right? You know what I mean?

Ed Mylett 26:30 Very well said.

Jay Shetty 26:30 Yeah. And so we get lost in that, and we don't think of it as ego.

Ed Mylett 26:34 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 26:34 And that's why the only antidote to either ego is self-honesty.

Ed Mylett 26:39 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 26:40 Is being honest.

Ed Mylett 26:41 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 26:41 And honesty is I'm good at these things.

Ed Mylett 26:44 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 26:44 I'm great at these things.

Ed Mylett 26:45 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 26:45 And I suck at these things, right?

Ed Mylett 26:46 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 26:46 Like, that's honesty.

Ed Mylett 26:47 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 26:47 Like, and we could all sit down, me and you-

Ed Mylett 26:49 Yeah

Jay Shetty 26:49 ... could sit down with a list of our skills-

Ed Mylett 26:51 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 26:52 ... and map out what we were great at, what we were average at, and what we knew we were terrible at.

Ed Mylett 26:56 Yes.

Jay Shetty 26:57 And that's honesty. That keeps you so away from either ego.

Ed Mylett 27:01 Mm-hmm. Do you think part of it too is that when you're suffering from, "My life is the worst," that you're focusing on you and you're centering on you, and there's an ego connection to that too, and that this pathway you talked about earlier about getting into the service of other people-

Jay Shetty 27:15 Yeah

Ed Mylett 27:15 ... removes you from you, which begins to remove the ego?

Jay Shetty 27:18 Absolutely. I mean, that's a huge point you just made right there.

Ed Mylett 27:20 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 27:20 Like, you just dropped some serious [laughs] -

Ed Mylett 27:22 Yeah

Jay Shetty 27:22 ... like, like, that's like a, you know, please don't underestimate that point, everyone who's listening.

Ed Mylett 27:25 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 27:25 Like, the, the challenge with all self-centeredness-

Ed Mylett 27:29 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 27:29 ... is that all you then indulge yourself in is your own pain.

Ed Mylett 27:32 Whoa. Very good.

Jay Shetty 27:33 Right?

Ed Mylett 27:33 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 27:33 You just indulge.

Ed Mylett 27:34 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 27:34 You just submerge and, like, immerse yourself in pain-

Ed Mylett 27:37 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 27:37 ... because it's all about you.

Ed Mylett 27:39 Me, yeah.

Jay Shetty 27:39 And, you know, I think Gandhi said it best, is that you find yourself when you lose yourself in the service of others. And what I love-

Ed Mylett 27:46 Yes

Jay Shetty 27:46 ... about that statement is that what he means by that is, and, and empaths get this mixed up-

Ed Mylett 27:52 Yeah

Jay Shetty 27:53 ... sometimes, so I wanna clarify, because a lot of people who are empaths who are listening are like, "Jay, I'm always trying to help people, but then I get screwed over."

Ed Mylett 27:58 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 27:58 So here's, here's the answer. You're not helping people so that they can thank you. You're not helping people so that they can be grateful to you. You're helping people because you know it's the right thing

Jay Shetty 28:09 to do, but more importantly, you're helping people because you get to understand and experiment and experience-

Ed Mylett 28:15 Wow

Jay Shetty 28:15 ... different parts of yourself.

Ed Mylett 28:17 Wow.

Jay Shetty 28:17 When I helped, uh, kids growing up in India that were, that didn't have food, and we were giving them free food, I learned so much about myself. When I was able to go and give talks that helped people, or now I make videos or podcasts, you learn more about yourself when you help people. You don't learn anything about yourself when you're just sitting there filling out a quiz going, "Who am I? What am I?"

Ed Mylett 28:39 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 28:39 Like, you don't figure... But you learn about yourself when you help people.

Ed Mylett 28:42 Wow.

Jay Shetty 28:43 And, and this is what we don't realize. I can't remember who said it recently. It was someone saying about Jeff Bezos, but they were saying that, you know, the, the scale at which you succeed is the depth of the problem you solve.

Ed Mylett 28:54 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 28:55 And so even if you look at someone like Jeff Bezos, who's extremely successful-

Ed Mylett 28:59 Yeah

Jay Shetty 28:59 ... he's successful because he solved a problem-

Ed Mylett 29:01 Big one

Jay Shetty 29:02 ... that many people have.

Ed Mylett 29:03 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 29:03 Bill Gates is successful because he solved a problem. So even if you look at monetary success, even if you look at financial success, it comes from service.

Ed Mylett 29:12 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 29:13 Any success comes from service. A musician is famous-

Ed Mylett 29:16 Mm

Jay Shetty 29:16 ... because they're serving.

Ed Mylett 29:17 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 29:17 They're serving you by understanding your feelings, making music.

Ed Mylett 29:20 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 29:20 You now feel comforted, so you follow them. They have served you.

Ed Mylett 29:24 Wow.

Jay Shetty 29:25 So don't think of service as just charity and giving money, which are beautiful things which we all should do.

Ed Mylett 29:29 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 29:30 But don't just limit your life to thinking, "I serve on the weekends," or, "I serve once a year."

Ed Mylett 29:35 Right.

Jay Shetty 29:35 You can serve every mo- this podcast is a service.

Ed Mylett 29:38 No question right now.

Jay Shetty 29:38 It's your service-

Ed Mylett 29:39 Yeah

Jay Shetty 29:39 ... 'cause you're serving people by giving them an alternative-

Ed Mylett 29:42 Mm

Jay Shetty 29:42 ... to just watching some trash show.

Ed Mylett 29:44 Mm.

Jay Shetty 29:45 But they're actually here learning from you and learning from the people that you bring on the show.

Ed Mylett 29:49 I've watched you, to that point, this is a personal thing, because I'm s- I'm such a believer that you're a d- you move the needle in the world, that you can help change consciousness. I'm, in my little way, people say, "Well, you..." In my small way, I would love to think I'm a, like w- in that ocean that you see out there, like a drop of water-

Jay Shetty 30:05 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 30:05 ... in altering the consciousness of the world.

Jay Shetty 30:08 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 30:08 Just a, just a skosh. Not me, but who I can share with people and my own messages, and I believe you're one of those people. And so I will tell you, as I've watched this meteoric rise of yours, I've actually privately, a few times, not every day, but a few times, I've actually prayed for you.

Jay Shetty 30:25 Oh, wow, man.

Ed Mylett 30:25 That you'd, that, that you would

Ed Mylett 30:27 keep this level of humility. And so this is an interesting thing I wanted to ask you, but it'll serve everybody else. There is this balance, isn't there, of wanting this book to do well.

Jay Shetty 30:36 Mm-hmm.

Ed Mylett 30:37 Right? You don't want it to sell two copies.

Jay Shetty 30:39 Mm.

Ed Mylett 30:39 You want it to do very well.

Jay Shetty 30:40 Mm-hmm.

Ed Mylett 30:40 When you put a video out, there's probably of this, there's gotta be a little part of you that's like, "How well did it do?"

Jay Shetty 30:46 Mm-hmm.

Ed Mylett 30:47 And I think that line right there, I'm not even sure-

Jay Shetty 30:50 Yeah, it's between-

Ed Mylett 30:50 ... if you or I know the answer entirely, but do you struggle with that balance of I'm doing this in the service of people- Yet I'm sensitive to the response of what I'm doing. Because I think someone listening to this right now who's gonna have a pres- a sales presentation tomorrow, they wanna be in the service of that person, but there's this part of them that is in that balance we've talked about earlier about what's the response going to be? How am I going to be received?

Jay Shetty 31:14 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 31:14 I want people to like me. I want them to... How do you navigate that?

Jay Shetty 31:18 That's a great question, man.

Ed Mylett 31:20 Mm.

Jay Shetty 31:20 That's huge. And, and the answer... Let's, let's take that salesperson.

Ed Mylett 31:24 Good.

Jay Shetty 31:24 The more time that person spends in empathy, their customer's pain, and what the customer's really looking for, the better they're gonna be received.

Ed Mylett 31:36 Yes.

Jay Shetty 31:37 So that service mindset always helps because if you're thinking about, and this is what it comes... And I said this to my team when we were writing the book and everything I was working on. I said, "If I sit here right now, and all I'm thinking about while I'm writing the book is being a best-selling book, then guess what? I'm now not writing the book. I'm now living in the future, and I'm not living in the present."

Ed Mylett 32:00 Mm.

Jay Shetty 32:00 And so the only way to make this a best-selling book is to do the process properly.

Ed Mylett 32:05 Mm.

Jay Shetty 32:05 And I don't think, and this is what I do, and this is the only thing that's helping me, and again, I go through it all the time.

Ed Mylett 32:10 Mm.

Jay Shetty 32:10 After my first video went viral-

Ed Mylett 32:12 Mm

Jay Shetty 32:12 ... three, four years ago, I stopped creating 'cause of the pressure that I wouldn't be able to live up to it.

Ed Mylett 32:18 Wow.

Jay Shetty 32:19 So I actually got scared because I was like, "Oh, well, what if the next video doesn't do as well? Everyone's gonna think I'm tanking." Like-

Ed Mylett 32:24 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 32:24 ... you get into that-

Ed Mylett 32:25 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 32:26 ... self-doubt and that self... And I got into that space where I was just like-

Ed Mylett 32:28 Thank you for being honest about that.

Jay Shetty 32:29 Yeah, no, really.

Ed Mylett 32:30 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 32:30 Like, genuinely, I didn't wanna make a video again because I was like, "This video just got 40 million views. Like, how am I ever gonna beat that," right?

Ed Mylett 32:36 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 32:36 And you get scared. I was, "I'm not putting anything out. I'm just gonna stop." And then I started to realize, I was like, "Well, now I'm not living in service anymore."

Ed Mylett 32:42 Mm.

Jay Shetty 32:43 I'm living out of ego, and I'm living for feeling a certain way.

Ed Mylett 32:46 Mm.

Jay Shetty 32:46 And guess what? I'm not feeling better by not putting anything out.

Ed Mylett 32:49 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 32:49 And actually, if I just serve more, I learn more. So the way I've made sense of it, and there's a verse in the Gita that explains it too, is that you have full control over the preparation, the process, and the practice, but you have no control over the potential result. But all of those three things are the result in and of themselves.

Ed Mylett 33:13 Yes.

Jay Shetty 33:13 And so if you get addicted to the process of writing-

Ed Mylett 33:16 Mm

Jay Shetty 33:17 ... the practice of connecting with the right people who can help share your work-

Ed Mylett 33:20 Mm

Jay Shetty 33:20 ... and h- like you said, I am focused on the process of making sure that the most people in the world-

Ed Mylett 33:26 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 33:26 ... have the opportunity to buy this book.

Ed Mylett 33:28 Mm.

Jay Shetty 33:28 But then if they choose not to buy it, I can't control that. But I can control making sure that it's in front of everyone-

Ed Mylett 33:35 Wow

Jay Shetty 33:35 ... and that I believe in the content.

Ed Mylett 33:37 Wow.

Jay Shetty 33:37 And that to me is not attachment. That to me is not, uh, ego. That to me is trying to live your best life.

Ed Mylett 33:44 Yes.

Jay Shetty 33:44 I mean, like, you know, if you didn't just try, if you're like, "I wrote this book, but who cares?"

Ed Mylett 33:48 Yes.

Jay Shetty 33:48 I mean, that's not service either.

Ed Mylett 33:50 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 33:50 Because the way I explain it, and, and I'm not s- I'm not claiming that this is it, and I'm not trying to say I'm it. I'm trying to say that I think we all feel this way. If you or me see an amazing movie,

Jay Shetty 34:02 we wanna tell everyone about it.

Ed Mylett 34:03 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 34:04 If you read an amazing book, you wanna tell everyone about it.

Ed Mylett 34:06 Mm.

Jay Shetty 34:07 If you found the cure to cancer, you'd tell everyone about it.

Ed Mylett 34:09 Mm.

Jay Shetty 34:09 For me, I got to live an incredible life thanks to these amazing teachers I met.

Ed Mylett 34:13 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 34:14 I just wanna tell everyone about it. Like, that's all I'm doing.

Ed Mylett 34:16 Yes.

Jay Shetty 34:17 But I wanna tell everyone-

Ed Mylett 34:18 Everyone, yeah

Jay Shetty 34:18 ... because of how powerful it was.

Ed Mylett 34:20 Brother, that's the best description I've ever heard of... There's this line I've always tried to teach of you wanna have outcomes, but yet you need to separate from them.

Jay Shetty 34:27 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 34:27 And that's a difficult thing when people are trying to achieve different things. That was perfectly stated, uh, um, absolutely being addicted to the process of it, but actually separating from what you can't control. I absolutely-

Jay Shetty 34:38 Yeah

Ed Mylett 34:38 ... absolutely love it. I'm just curious.

Jay Shetty 34:40 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 34:40 I got a c- couple more questions.

Jay Shetty 34:41 Couple, yeah, yeah.

Ed Mylett 34:42 Tell us something about being a monk and living with them that would surprise us.

Jay Shetty 34:45 Okay, good.

Ed Mylett 34:45 What's something about them?

Jay Shetty 34:46 So, so we had, we had... That's a good question.

Ed Mylett 34:49 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 34:49 So we had snoring and non-snoring rooms. [laughs]

Ed Mylett 34:53 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 34:53 So, so they, they try and be compassionate, right? So we would... So I'm a non-snorer.

Ed Mylett 34:59 Mm.

Jay Shetty 34:59 I don't snore when I sleep, and my wife agrees now too.

Ed Mylett 35:01 Good. She, she validates that?

Jay Shetty 35:02 Yeah, yeah.

Ed Mylett 35:03 Okay.

Jay Shetty 35:03 So I'm in the non-snorer room, but the snoring room, we would always joke around with the snorers because we'd always joke about how they all sound like different motorcycles. So we'd be like, "Oh, that guy's like a Harley Davidson."

Ed Mylett 35:13 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 35:14 And I'd like, "That guy's like-

Ed Mylett 35:14 Monks say this?

Jay Shetty 35:15 Yeah, yeah, monks say this.

Ed Mylett 35:16 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 35:17 Because you're human, and we're playful.

Ed Mylett 35:18 Sure.

Jay Shetty 35:18 And, and you know, it's almost like monk life kind of makes you more childlike, not childish, but childlike-

Ed Mylett 35:24 Mm

Jay Shetty 35:24 ... because you start seeing things for what they truly are-

Ed Mylett 35:28 Mm

Jay Shetty 35:28 ... and you don't get caught up in stuff.

Ed Mylett 35:29 Mm.

Jay Shetty 35:30 So you can laugh at each other. You can mess around. Another thing is, um, we had these sacred sweets or sacred, uh, items that are prepared and, and, and offered, and everyone gets to share them. And you don't eat a lot of sugar as monks, and you don't eat sweet stuff, but these, these kind of natural sweetened items came out, like, once a week.

Ed Mylett 35:47 Mm.

Jay Shetty 35:47 And, and some monks would wrestle over them. Like, you know, like-

Ed Mylett 35:49 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 35:50 ... physically, like, grapple over who's gonna get there. So these are the behind the scenes-

Ed Mylett 35:54 I love that. It humanizes-

Jay Shetty 35:55 Yeah, totally, man

Ed Mylett 35:56 ... the entire con- concept

Jay Shetty 35:57 ... like monks are, monks are normal people.

Ed Mylett 35:58 Mm.

Jay Shetty 35:58 And let's be honest, like most people haven't been monks their whole lives. So it's not like-

Ed Mylett 36:02 Yeah, great point

Jay Shetty 36:03 ... it's not... Yeah, it's like I became a monk when I was 22, and I'm not now.

Ed Mylett 36:05 Mm.

Jay Shetty 36:05 My friends, some of them became monks at 22. Some of them became monks at 30. Like, p- it's not like... There are monks that become monks at five. That does exist.

Ed Mylett 36:13 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 36:13 But the majority of people now are, are not doing that.

Ed Mylett 36:16 They may even have more time in their life not one than they were one, right? Yeah.

Jay Shetty 36:19 Exactly, exactly. And so for me, yeah, I, I'm glad you asked me that question-

Ed Mylett 36:22 Yeah

Jay Shetty 36:22 ... because yeah, like monks are humorous. They're funny. They're... Like, my teachers are hilarious.

Ed Mylett 36:27 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 36:27 If I'm with them, I'll just laugh the whole time.

Ed Mylett 36:29 Really?

Jay Shetty 36:29 Yeah, because they just see that. And I'd love to introduce you to one of my teachers who travels here a lot.

Ed Mylett 36:34 I would love that.

Jay Shetty 36:34 I'd love to introduce you to him actually.

Ed Mylett 36:36 I would love that.

Jay Shetty 36:36 He's around 70 years old now. He's been a monk for 40 years.

Ed Mylett 36:39 Mm.

Jay Shetty 36:40 And, and he grew up in Chicago, so he's an American man, but he lives in India.

Ed Mylett 36:43 [laughs] I'd love to meet him.

Jay Shetty 36:44 Uh, he's been a monk for 40 years. Unbelievable, but he is hilarious.

Ed Mylett 36:47 Oh my goodness.

Jay Shetty 36:47 And any time I'm with him I don't stop laughing. So-

Ed Mylett 36:49 Pre- well, present people are more joyous in and of itself, right?

Jay Shetty 36:52 100%.

Ed Mylett 36:53 Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 36:53 Yeah, exactly. But you-

Ed Mylett 36:54 You are

Jay Shetty 36:54 ... you're not dealing, yeah, and you're not dealing with that, you're not dealing with the baggage of the past-

Ed Mylett 36:58 Right

Jay Shetty 36:59 ... or the anxiety of the future.

Ed Mylett 37:00 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 37:00 So when you are present, you can just laugh. You can-

Ed Mylett 37:03 Mm

Jay Shetty 37:03 ... be joyous and be entertained, and yeah.

Ed Mylett 37:05 Enjoy the bliss of the moment.

Jay Shetty 37:06 Yeah.

Ed Mylett 37:06 Dude, I wanna keep going, so I just want to-

Jay Shetty 37:08 [laughs]

Ed Mylett 37:08 ... one more thing. Let's give them one more gift-

Jay Shetty 37:09 Okay

Ed Mylett 37:09 ... 'cause you're, you're a treasure, bro.

Jay Shetty 37:11 No, you're very kind.

Ed Mylett 37:11 And, uh, I, I wanna, I, uh, I want you to know that I, I want you and I to spend some more time together.

Jay Shetty 37:17 I would love-

Ed Mylett 37:18 Yeah

Jay Shetty 37:18 ... I gen-

Ed Mylett 37:18 Yeah

Jay Shetty 37:19 ... after, after meeting you today-

Ed Mylett 37:19 Yeah

Jay Shetty 37:19 ... I knew already, but after meeting you today-

Ed Mylett 37:21 Good

Jay Shetty 37:23 Your energy in p- in person surpasses all expectation

Ed Mylett 37:26 Thank you, brother

Jay Shetty 37:27 ... which is very, like, I mean that. Like, I-

Ed Mylett 37:29 There, the people listening to this are going, "Boy, can these guys compliment each other anymore?"

Jay Shetty 37:31 I know. Stop the bromance. Yeah, it's like-

Ed Mylett 37:32 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 37:33 I just saw his wife popped out earlier, you know, so, no.

Ed Mylett 37:35 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 37:36 I'm married too. Um, but, uh-

Ed Mylett 37:37 He's married too

Jay Shetty 37:37 ... yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ed Mylett 37:38 He's married too. So okay. So someone would pay a lot of money to do this-

Jay Shetty 37:41 Yeah

Ed Mylett 37:41 ... but I'm gonna let him do it for free for a second.

Jay Shetty 37:43 Sure.

Ed Mylett 37:44 Someone says, "I'm watching this, and I've, I, I really have this energy about me after listening to this or watching this-

Jay Shetty 37:50 Mm

Ed Mylett 37:50 ... and I wanna

Ed Mylett 37:51 change my life."

Jay Shetty 37:52 Mm.

Ed Mylett 37:52 "And maybe I don't have super high self-esteem right now, and potentially I lack a little bit of direction, or maybe I know what I wanna do, but I don't know that I have the confidence to get there."

Jay Shetty 38:01 Mm.

Ed Mylett 38:01 If you just say, "I wanna turn my life around-

Jay Shetty 38:04 Mm-hmm

Ed Mylett 38:04 ... I wanna have some of these emotions that it seems as if you experience on a pretty regular basis-

Jay Shetty 38:09 Mm-hmm

Ed Mylett 38:09 ... what advice or counsel, just in general, would you give somebody who wants to live a better life?"

Jay Shetty 38:14 Yeah. So one of my biggest things, first of all, would be that we, we do this wrong because we do either/or, or we do them in the wrong order. So in life, there are two aspects that impact everything: our thinking and our actions.

Ed Mylett 38:29 Mm.

Jay Shetty 38:29 And I read a quote the other day that was saying that the mistake we make is that we either act without thinking, or we think without acting, and I think that's where most people are.

Ed Mylett 38:39 Mm.

Jay Shetty 38:39 If you're feeling stuck, or you're like, "I'm not sure what I'm doing right now," you're either doing too much thinking, or you're doing too much acting.

Ed Mylett 38:45 Mm.

Jay Shetty 38:46 So you're just doing a lot of stuff, but you don't know why you're doing it, or you're just sitting there procrastinating every day, and you're doing it. So I'd say it's, it's both.

Ed Mylett 38:52 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 38:52 So the first thing I would say to you is take a moment and speak to three different people. Speak to a family member, a friend, and a colleague, and ask them this one question: "What strengths do I have? What do you think is my superpower? What skills do you think I bring, emotional, strong, soft, hard, whatever it is?" Do that first. Get that sense check. Second thing, for the next month, take off every weekend, eight days, 'cause there's eight Saturdays and Sundays all together in a month, and book a different course, workshop, seminar, online, offline. Go to an event. Shadow a friend. Go and spend time with an aunt, uncle who's doing the career you want. Go and have eight new experiences, and after each of them, sit with yourself and ask yourself, "Did I like that, yes or no?"

Ed Mylett 39:42 Mm.

Jay Shetty 39:43 Whether you liked it or not, ask yourself, "Why did I like it, or why did I not like it?" And then ask yourself, "Would I like to do it again?"

Ed Mylett 39:50 Mm.

Jay Shetty 39:51 And if the answer is yes, yes, yes, guess what. Go do it again.

Ed Mylett 39:54 Wow.

Jay Shetty 39:54 And if the answer is no, no, no, don't do it again. Leave it out. But if you've had eight... And this is the problem. We do that over a year. We do that over eight years, and that's why life feels slow and boring and lethargic and stuck.

Ed Mylett 40:08 Yes.

Jay Shetty 40:09 But it just, in the next eight days, in a weekend, just test eight new things, and you'll have just a great experiment, and the worst thing that will happen is you'll find eight things that you don't like.

Ed Mylett 40:19 Wow.

Jay Shetty 40:19 But I guarantee you that even if you have a sense of that reflection in the beginning... And, and what I don't get why we don't do this enough is-

Ed Mylett 40:25 Wow

Jay Shetty 40:26 ... we do it with food and movies all the time.

Ed Mylett 40:28 Mm.

Jay Shetty 40:28 Like, you just... Ed is such a kind man. Like, I got here slightly late 'cause of traffic, and then he let me eat my lunch-

Ed Mylett 40:34 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 40:34 ... 'cause I wanted to be full of energy. I, I need to find out where that place is, 'cause it's local to here. My, my team got it ordered for me. It was amazing.

Ed Mylett 40:41 [laughs] Good, good.

Jay Shetty 40:42 And, and it's like you know when you eat something whether you like it or not.

Ed Mylett 40:45 Mm.

Jay Shetty 40:45 You know when you watch a movie whether you like it or not. You know when you read a book whether you like it or not. But why don't we ask ourself after meeting people, completing projects, or going to places?

Ed Mylett 40:55 Mm.

Jay Shetty 40:55 Most of us keep meeting people that take our energy. Most of us keep going to places that drain us of our energy, and most of us keep working on projects-

Ed Mylett 41:04 Wow

Jay Shetty 41:04 ... that just disturb our energy.

Ed Mylett 41:05 Mm.

Jay Shetty 41:07 All you have to do is ask yourself-

Ed Mylett 41:09 Wow

Jay Shetty 41:09 ... "Does this bring me alive? Why does it bring me alive?" Really important to know why it works, and, "Do I wanna do it again?"

Ed Mylett 41:15 Wow. Deep insight there. That, that... [laughs]

Ed Mylett 41:18 Brother, what, what you described right there, everyone, is like the ultimate pattern interrupt.

Jay Shetty 41:22 Mm.

Ed Mylett 41:22 What he's saying is you're gonna do this over eight years or 10 years, if you can just do this in the next eight weekends, or the next four weekends, eight days.