By playing, you agree to uListen's Terms and Privacy Policy and YouTube's Terms of Service.

Jay Shetty Podcast

JELLY ROLL's Brutal Journey of Self-Forgiveness "I hate the man I used to be...”

Grammy-nominated artist Jelly Roll opens up about his turbulent past, from felony charges to addiction, and his transformative journey to self-forgiveness.

Jelly RollguestJay Shettyhost

Oct 14, 20241h 39mWatch on YouTube

Summaries, chapters, transcripts, and FAQs on this page are made by uListen, not YouTube.

Great conversations run long. Their best ideas don't have to.

uListen is free on iPhone, iPad, Android, Chrome, and Claude.

CHAPTERS

Jump to publisher timestamps

Chapter summaries

How Jay and Jelly Roll Connected Through Think Like a Monk
After the guest introduction, Jay Shetty recalls seeing Jelly Roll perform at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party and posting about it. Jelly Roll explains he found Jay's work and read Think Like a Monk after his father's death in 2019, during the start of COVID.
- •Jay saw Jelly Roll perform at the pre-Grammy party and posted a video
- •Jelly Roll DM'd back, saying he read Think Like a Monk at a low point
- •He thought his purpose had been taken away when the pandemic stopped his 200 bar shows a year
- •He believes what we consume shapes what comes out of us
- •He describes how iron sharpens iron between their work
Losing His Father: "Sometimes You Just Gotta Chew It"
Jelly Roll describes his close bond with his father, an alcoholic who later became active in his church and community. He recounts the final 90 days after a leukemia diagnosis and the lesson from his father's dying.
- •They bonded in Jelly Roll's 20s over happy hours at the Tin Roof
- •His father's leukemia went unchecked, then declined over 90 days
- •He spent every day at the hospital with him
- •His father chewed a pill and said when a pill's too hard to swallow, you just gotta chew it
- •His father was reserved, and his words counted
His Mother and the Birth of His Love for Music
Jay asks about Jelly Roll's mother, who struggled with drugs and mental health and rarely left her room. Jelly Roll explains how music at her kitchen table led him to want to write songs, starting with poems at age 10.
- •His mother was reclusive and he rarely saw her outside a nightgown for 20 years
- •She thrived at the kitchen table, playing records and telling stories
- •He connected music with health and bringing people together
- •At 10 he wrote poems and read them to her and her friends
- •Their family lost all its photos and poems
Early Incarceration and Being a "Desperate Delusional Dreamer"
Jay asks how Jelly Roll went from a joyful childhood to incarceration at 13. He describes insecurity, an eating disorder, the pull of the streets, and a victim mentality that took years of work to break.
- •Big kids become either shy or funny and aggressive, and he was the latter
- •The streets offer belonging, and he saw money as a way out
- •A fight with a chain wallet became a strong-arm robbery case and about 20 months in the system
- •He calls himself a desperate, delusional dreamer who took no accountability
- •Seeing his own 16-year-old daughter helped him extend grace to his younger self
Barriers to Self-Forgiveness and What He'd Say to His Victim
Jay asks what blocks us from forgiving ourselves. Jelly Roll says accepting responsibility was the hardest part, then answers a question about the person he robbed at 15, calling it the best question he has been asked.
- •Accepting responsibility was the hardest part of forgiving himself
- •He now asks what happened to people rather than what is wrong with them
- •He had forgiven everyone but himself
- •He would apologize flat out to the person he robbed, with no excuses
- •He says money doesn't create character, it reveals it
24:55 – 29:26
Life Behind Bars as a Juvenile
Jay asks what years in custody do to a teenager. Jelly Roll explains how three months feels like a lifetime at 15, describes a six-by-eight cell, and argues that a system without resources only creates smarter criminals.
- •He still has the felony on his record and served two and a half years, then more time later
- •Three months is a whole semester at 15, and he missed high school
- •Juvenile facilities lacked education, exercise and mentorship programs
- •He didn't get his GED until 25 in adult jail
- •Education, a Christian program, AA and NA changed his life once he got access to them
Accountability vs. Self-Blame: The Guy in the Glass
Jay asks the difference between accountability and self-blame. Jelly Roll shares the poem The Guy in the Glass, the steps story, and AA-style moral inventory as ways to assess himself honestly and find freedom.
- •He read The Guy in the Glass in jail and kept it on his mirror for years
- •His first instinct is now to ask what he could have done differently
- •An old head taught him the steps didn't choose to be there, but he chose to run up them
- •Honest self-assessment can show when something wasn't his fault
- •He says he used to be the Spider-Man pointing meme
Guilt, Shame and the Monkey Mind
Jelly Roll asks Jay how to get past the heavy feeling of finding fault in yourself. Jay explains the monk mind and monkey mind, and says guilt and shame are finite motivators while love and compassion are sustainable.
- •Jelly Roll says he tries to think I don't lose, I learn
- •In the monk tradition the lower self is the monkey mind, and you wouldn't judge a monkey
- •Jay says guilt blocks growth and shame won't cause transformation
- •Love, grace and compassion are sustainable, whereas shame and guilt run out
- •Jay says shame can become an addiction
Emotional Sobriety and Food Addiction
Jelly Roll says the shame spiral is his biggest demon and links it to his struggle with obesity. He describes learning emotions, getting stuck ruminating, and treating food addiction like his past drug addictions.
- •His nan said you can't quit everything at once
- •He is focusing on emotional sobriety and only recently learned what emotions were
- •He still gets stuck ruminating for days
- •He calls himself a food addict and links obesity to mental health
- •He is walking in the sun, drinking water, cold plunging and eating right
Purpose, Faith and Being Useful
Jelly Roll says he believes he can shed his physical weight because God's purpose for him is bigger than what he is doing now. He cites a quote about being useful rather than happy and says prioritizing purpose changed his life.
- •He believes his body is holding him back from what is meant for him
- •He never set out to be a mental health advocate and wrote songs about brokenness
- •He quotes Shia LaBeouf: I quit trying to be happy, I started being useful
- •He says life was awesome once he focused on purpose instead of trying to make it awesome
Marriage, Healing Together and Asking for Help
Jay reads Jelly Roll's anniversary post to his wife Bunny, and he explains how she believed in him and helped him get custody of his daughter. They discuss trauma triggers, fight styles, ego, and making the word help empowering.
- •Bunny believed in him and helped him gain custody of his daughter
- •He was the first man he knows who found a healthy fear of losing someone
- •Her room was a safe place while his mother's room was dark, a conflict they resolved once understood
- •The children's book line: the hardest thing to do is ask for help
- •They call asking for help getting in the foxhole
- •He fights his ego each morning and asks what love would say
Music in Recovery Centers and Prisons
Jay notes that Save Me is widely played in recovery centers, and Jelly Roll talks about how that feels. He then describes performing at Oregon State Penitentiary for men serving life and the emotional moments there.
- •Save Me is played in recovery centers and requested at funerals
- •He finds meaning in music helping people grieve
- •Oregon's prison allowed live music for the first time in 20 years
- •Inmates lined up for autographs, and 12 of the 20 trustees were lifers
- •He says there he was spreading hope to people who aren't going home
Humanizing Addiction: His Congressional Speech
Jay asks about the congressional speech and the 190 daily deaths compared to a plane crash. Jelly Roll explains why he spoke, how the bill passed, and how his past as a drug dealer drives his advocacy.
- •He compared daily overdose deaths to a crashing 737 and to squirrels dying in Central Park
- •He wanted to humanize drug addicts and put faces to the 190 people a day
- •The bill passed after failing several times
- •People at the Grammys told him the speech moved them
- •He admits he once justified selling drugs by comparing himself to KFC
Breaking Generational Curses and Making It Church
Jay asks about performing with Jelly Roll's daughter, which leads to his hope of starting a music family. Jelly Roll talks about breaking generational curses, starting to succeed at 37, and reframing his shows as church.
- •His daughter's interest in guitar and piano excited him in a family with no musicians
- •He and Bunny aim to show that anyone can change their past
- •He says it's never too late, and his success began at 37
- •His wife told him his shows are the only church some people enter
- •He wants people to feel the kind of cry that makes you feel better
Heart of Stone and the Power of Unresolved Songs
Jay reads lyrics from the new album Beautifully Broken, and Jelly Roll explains why Heart of Stone is his favorite and took three drafts. They discuss honesty in songwriting and why he leaves songs unresolved so listeners find themselves in them.
- •Heart of Stone is his favorite song because of its lyrics
- •He rewrote it three times so every line could be a killer
- •I hate the man I used to be echoes the conversation about accepting his past
- •Higher Than Heaven, and a label mishearing a lyric
- •He doesn't resolve every song so listeners can interpret it for themselves
Full Circle: Jim Todd and Restoration
Jelly Roll shares that the attorney who prosecuted him, Jim Todd, is now partnering with him on a center to teach trades to at-risk juveniles. He describes other full-circle moments, including a judge writing songs with juvenile inmates.
- •Jim Todd, who bound him over as an adult, is starting the Dinkins Center for juveniles
- •He says God is healing his inner child in front of the world
- •The sheriff gave him a key to the jail, and he made a redemption chain
- •He got to build studios in the juvenile facility where he was held
- •A judge writing songs with kids humanized everyone
A Letter from His Brother and the Fast Five
Jay reads a letter from Jelly Roll's brother Scott, who expresses pride, regret and gratitude. The episode ends with the Fast Five questions and Jelly Roll's closing plug for Beautifully Broken.
- •Scott recalls the custody day and Jelly Roll's early freestyling
- •He apologizes for not being there when Jelly Roll was bound over
- •Jelly Roll's father predicted he would become an entertainer
- •Best advice is don't give up, and worst is give up
- •His purpose is to help people heal through music
- •His law would be to act out of love and ask whether it is what love would say

Publisher timestamps

Get more out of YouTube videos.

Read along on your phone, search it beside the video, or ask your favorite AI app what was said.